Not Tonight
by Megwill
Summary: She rolled her head over to look at him and found herself staring into soft shining puppy boy eyes filled with love, happiness and a dance. She reminded herself he had to go tomorrow, but not tonight. What if it was one full rotation?How will they cope?
1. Don't You Wanna

He had to go. He had to go. _He had to go_. Brennan told herself this as she walked the corridor to his apartment. Booth had orders, the military didn't give a damn that she loved him and wanted him to stay in the states. That he loved her. She wondered, no she knew, _she knew_. If she would have never taken the offer in Maluku he wouldn't be leaving tomorrow for Afghanistan. Never accepted his offer and she felt horrible for it too.

She also felt the gloss she had been holding back finally spill over and run down her cheek, it tickled her skin as it burned its way down her red puffy cheek off her face and down her neck. Her throat was tight; her cheeks red, her eyes full of gloss that she had tried her damndest not to let spill over. She had lost that battle, she inhaled sharply about to knock on his apartment door when he opened it, keys in his hands. Her fist balled hand in the air she stopped. Her gloss filled eyes locked onto his and she exhaled a shaky breath as he led her into his apartment toward the couch. Though, she stopped him not wanting to sit down.

"Bones, Bones what's wrong?" he asked and her dark blue eyes only looked at him, haunting him with their depth. Really? Did he not know? She answered honestly.

"You, Booth, you're what's wrong with me." She said never taking her eyes off of his. "I…I have just come to understand how hard a deployment is...it's suddenly very real to me. I never knew that it was going to be so hard." She said losing the battle to more tears. She was breaking his heart, she had come to his apartment, come to him late at night in tears. Bones never cried, never showed her feelings. Dropping his keys to the floor he took her face in his hands and ran his thumbs over her cheeks brushing her tears away. His gesture only made more tears fall.

"Booth, I...you know I have a hard time saying what I feel. You know that I'm a guarded person. I…I came over because I felt I had to voice something, something to give you hard evidence…" she started, watching her struggle with tears and words, it made his heart break.

"…You are more than a partner to me Booth." She paused adding "You're my best friend." She didn't mean to cover her more than partner message up but it was so hard to voice what she wanted to say aloud. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as he held her gaze.

"I understand your unsaid words Bones." Booth said

She sighed, "You always have Booth." She looked at him smiling a sad smile through her tears he answered her unasked question and covered her lips with his own. The kiss started slow and methodical but quickly turned into a passionate filled kiss full of need and longing. Brennan soon found she was walking backwards towards his bedroom, as he steered them toward it. She let him take her there, take them there. Wherever he would go, she knew deep down she would always follow. Though, tonight they would take turns leading.

_Jason Aldean]  
>I really hate to let this moment go<br>Touching your skin, and your hair falling slow  
>When a goodbye kiss, feels like this <em>

It wasn't long until they found themselves lost in his bed, lost in each other. His kisses worked their way down her neck and she arched her body giving him access to all of her. He stopped long enough to take her undergarments off and she kissed him slowly wanting to take some of the attention off of her. His eyes were full of passion and desire and…another emotion. She knew it, but had never known that look…of soft shining eyes, never from anyone but him. Was that love? Was that what that emotion was? Had she found love, happiness, and a dance within him? She knew the answer and tasted the salt from her tears on her lips. He had to go, but not tonight. _Not tonight._

"Not tonight." She said into his mouth through her tears, her voice a whisper and her breathing hitched. He stopped kissing her, she didn't know she had said it aloud.

"Bones, are you sure about this?" he asked

"Very much so Booth."

He was confused. "Why did you say not tonight?"

She looked at him sheepish at first and then her face contorted. She couldn't answer as her throat was tightening as she tried not to let anymore tears spill over.

"Bones?" he asked and she exhaled a shaky breath. In order to answer him, to utter a word, she had to let the dam break. Now her tears fell freer than they ever had before.

He watched her bottom lip tremble as she looked into his eyes. "You don't have to leave tonight, not tonight." She managed to somehow say in between her tears.

His heart broke for her. "Oh, baby." He covered her lips with his tasting her tears. He didn't even realize he too was holding back gloss in his eyes.

_[Chorus] (Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean)  
>Don't you wanna stay here a little while?<br>Don't you wanna hold each other tight?  
>Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?<br>Don't you wanna stay here a little while?  
>We can make forever feel this way <em>

As their tears mixed together, not only Brennan but Booth found out how to break the law of physics. It takes two to tango well and boy, did they tango well on into the night. Brennan roll over the bedroom silent, it smelled of them. They were quiet, still as they waited for their heart rates and breathing to return to normal. She rolled her head over to look at him and found herself staring into soft shining puppy boy eyes filled with love, happiness and a dance. She reminded herself again, not yet…not tonight.

_Don't you wanna stay? _

As her breathing started to return to normal, her damp skin made her shiver and she rolled herself over curling up into him. He wrapped both arms around her, engulfing her in his embrace. She felt an arm slid underneath her stomach and another graze her hip as he let it rest on her side. His fingers were brushing damp hair off her forehead and running through her hair. They were silent staring into each other's eyes. It broke his heart to see hers were starting to fill with more gloss. Not yet, not tonight she reminded herself again as he pulled her closer to him.

"I never thought one full rotation of the earth around the sun would end up being so hard Booth." Brennan's whisper of a voice sliced through the silence.

"No, you're wrong Bones. I think we both knew. we have known a while. It's the absence the not knowing, that's the scary part. The part we don't acknowledge… that has always been the scariest part." He said softly and she nodded in agreement.

"The unsaid words are the hardest to talk of because they are the most meaningful." She said back pausing she added, "Irrationally I hoped if I never said it then it would never happen…we don't speak of the bad that could happen in Afghan…it's almost as if I never talk of it, it will never happen…but now we happened…this, us…and we've never spoke of us…" she said and he quieted her.

"Why don't we then? That way we will know if we speak of it, get it out, then there is a possibility. If we never speak of it…" he started and she interrupted him.

"Ignorance is bliss?" she asked and he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead brushing another tear away.

"No, no not this bliss, Bones. Blissful yes, ignorant we are not." He said cupping her face and kissing her slowly.

They parted and her words came out rushed "I love you Booth." She covered his lips with hers again not giving him a chance to think or even respond. He pulled away and she looked deep in his dark eyes which bore into hers, what she saw made more tears fall.

His gloss filled eyes had finally let a single tear spill over and slide down his cheek. She kissed his lips and then his tears, suddenly and overwhelming need to comfort him took her over. Not tonight Temperance, he is yours tonight. _Not yet._

_[Kelly Clarkson]  
>Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast<br>I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last  
>When you're on this high, it's a sad goodbye <em>

She covered him with kisses but stopped as she felt his hand slid out from under her and now both of his hands were on her face again, holding it. She stared into his eyes both of their eyes wanted to spill with water, but didn't at the moment. "I love you too Temperance, _so_,_ so_ _much _Bones. Hell, it was you that showed me how to love Bones." He said as both of his hands held her face and she looked him in the eyes.

"But you have been in love before Booth. You said you have." She countered, "You showed me what love was."

He only chuckled lightly, "I only thought I knew what love was Bones, I was wrong. I have never known _true love _not until I knew you. That sounded really cheesy didn't it? Like a line in a movie."

She smiled, "It probably has been used before and it may even be in a movie although I'm unsure of which movie and I've never seen it. If it has in fact been used in a movie that is." She was still smiling as he returned it.

"Well I'm glad you think that because, I meant what I said." Said Booth

"I know you did, you wouldn't have said it if you didn't." she said and he smiled kissing her again. They parted and he took his arms and wrapped them around her body engulfing her in his embrace. They fell asleep in each other's arms as she traced lazy circles on his shoulders and back her head nestled into his chest, hair fanned out on the pillow they both shared they drifted off into a dream world known only to them.

A perfect dream world where tomorrow didn't have them saying goodbye to each other at Reagan Int. airport only holding each other's gaze and tightly gripping holding each other's hands. One where their hands didn't slip out of each other's for an entire rotation of the earth around the sun. One where they had never left only stayed.

_[Chorus] (Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean)  
>Don't you wanna stay here a little while?<br>Don't you wanna hold each other tight?  
>Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?<br>Don't you wanna stay here a little while? _

As she traced his skin before drifting off to a perfect dream world where there would be no sad goodbyes tomorrow. She reminded herself that was tomorrow, and not tonight, _not tonight._

_We can make forever feel this way  
>Don't you wanna stay?<em>

* * *

><p>stay safe guys-Me...I haven't had time to update Screw Rational yet...it's been a hectic last week and I needed to get this songvent fic down. Love this song...so sad and true. Give it a listen it's called _Don't You_ by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson.


	2. Do What You Have To Do

Reagan International was a well lit airport. Booth had already checked into base and couldn't see her off to Maluku, but that was okay. At least that's what she told herself. Brennan told herself it was just fine that she couldn't see Booth the day she left for Maluku because maybe if she repeated it enough she might just believe it herself, maybe. Last night would have to do as their parting of ways for a year, their very personal 'see you later.'

She missed him already, ached for him. Last night, the rules of love were broken and whatever they had shown each other in the dark hours of the night. It had affected her greatly. This, 'Miss Independent oh miss never let a man get in her way, had fallen in love' and she hit the asphalt at a dead run skidding face first into it. The road rash type mark which the fall left behind on Brennan's face made what was going on in the doctors mind very apparent to her friends. The fall was more like a plunge off of a cliff into the unknown than a simple fall anyway. Love, damn love.

She stood alone in an airport full of people, just her. She couldn't stop thinking of him. She was fighting glossy eyes, which were rare for her. What had she turned into? What had happened to her? She wanted him near her, but knew it wasn't realistic. She also knew deep down, she loved him and he loved her. That was extremely scary, but the other feeling that she felt was so much greater than being frightened, so much more worth it. She believed, no she knew they were worth it. She internally shook like a fragile leaf as she thought of him now. It was an almost crippling feeling, no it was.

Hodgins presented her a book of insects that were poisonous in Maluku and Brennan replied. "Thank you Hodgins I love you too."

He was taken aback by her words. "Wow! Dr.B…I..I..."

"Booth taught me that sentiments such as this gift show how much you care. In turn they show you love me." Brennan said

Hodgins smiled wide at her.

Cam walked up next. "It's been a pleasure working for you Dr. Brennan."

Brennan looked confused. "You didn't work for me. I worked for you."

Cam smiled. "I think we both know it was the other way around." She embraced Brennan and Brennan accepted.

Next to say their farewells was Angela. "I know you are going to discover something really meaningful to mankind, sweetie." Angela smiled and hugged her best friend and gave a sad smile.

"I know, I will Ange."

Daisy was waiting now, now it was only a matter of time before she and Daisy needed to head to their gate. Brennan sigh thinking of Booth. After sleeping with someone it usually altered ones personal relationship. It was an unspoken dynamic to a relationship, whatever kind. Once done one could never take it back. Sometimes people remained friends afterward, other times not so much.

Though, she had come to realize she had always felt so attached to Booth and neither had any regrets. If anything they feared not having any, at least now. She felt more strongly toward him than any other man she had ever been with even before she had been with him. She also realized she had always had that ache in her chest just for him and she had never known how to let him go. Letting go of a one night stand or an ephemeral relationship was easy for her, but at the same time it made her a bit sad or lonely. It was in those times she would look at Angela and how happy she seemed. Brennan felt that deep down she wanted that too, that maybe she really was missing out.

Booth was more than a fun weekend or night. He was Booth and damn it, he was her best friend! He had not only taught her about love, showed her love, but he had both unintentionally made and okay maybe with some intent, her fall _in love_ with him and she found the feeling called love irresistible It was like nothing she had ever known, much like him. Love was alluring, enticing and extremely appealing.

Temperance Brennan was head over heels, aching chest, heart on the floor bleeding, tight throat, holding back hot glossy unformed tears in love. It was even worse because she couldn't be with or see the one she loved today and he couldn't see her. Though, she knew she had to do what she had to do. Deployments are hard, but they are what they are.

_What ravages of spirit  
>conjured this sumptuous rage<br>created you a monster  
>broken by the rules of love<br>and fate has lead you through it  
>you do what you have to do<br>and fate has led you through it  
>you do what you have to do ...<em>

The squinterns stood together Cam, Sweets, Angela and Hodgins. They stood apart from Brennan and Daisy because Brennan and Daisy were leaving. Leaving for a year to another country, they would all reunite in time, everything eventually.

"Oh My God." Cam smiled a bit whispering when she saw Booth in his fatigues, because Booth wasn't supposed to be here. He was here for one person and one person only, and he had gone AWOL to get here, guess you do what you have to do. That one person rushed swiftly over to meet him, to be near him. They ended up meeting each other in the middle of the airport, he center. She smiled a lopsided sad grin at him and he smiled sadly at her as well, taking her hand in his tightly. Their eyes locked onto each other's, dark blue grey crashing into chocolate orbs colliding together. It was then all other on lookers were forgotten.

"Booth how did you?" she started

"I had to sneak off base to come and see you I couldn't get a pass." Booth said then continued holding onto her hand tightly. "Bones, I need you to be really careful in that Indonesian Jungle…"

"Me? Booth you're the one going into a war zone." She said hating that he was, wishing that he didn't have too and wanting to cry her unshed tears and tell everyone not to hurt him. Please, just not him! Not anyone, but she couldn't she had to stay strong, for him, for them.

_and I have the sense to recognize that  
>I don't know how to let you go<br>every moment marked  
>with apparitions of your soul<br>I'm ever swiftly moving  
>trying to escape this desire<br>the yearning to be near you  
>I do what I have to do<br>the yearning to be near you  
>I do what I have to do<br>but I have the sense to recognize_

"Booth just promise me…promise me you won't be you. Don't be a hero Booth." She said pleadingly with her eyes as she squeezed his hand tighter not wanting to let go.

She fought her tears and she won the battle, shedding not one. Though, that was on the outside. Internally she was dying, bleeding and aching for him to stay, for her to forget Maluku, but that wasn't realistic. Reality sucked at times, but they would only come out stronger, right?

"One year meet me at-"Booth said and she smiled at him cutting him off.

"The coffee cart." She finished squeezing his hand again, then suddenly his hand slipped out of hers and they parted. It all happened so fast. He was now walking away in a different direction than she, but did she dare turn to look back? It's not like she would turn to stone, right?

_that I don't know how  
>to let you go<br>I don't know how  
>to let you go<em>

She inhaled and Booth looked back at her instead. He was met with her big blue doe eyes which were staring right into his they took a mental picture of him. She didn't have to be the first to look back, they had done it together. Exhaling a shaky breath she looked away breaking their locked orbs. Holding back her tears she joined Daisy who Brennan was glad to see was anxious to get going. For, Brennan had glanced to Angela, Cam and the gang. Brennan knew they would have had to of put their two cents worth into what had just taken place if she was to stay and chit chat.

She didn't stay, instead she forced a smile to Angela and the gang as her mind raced with thoughts of Booth. She then waved and inhaled as her throat tightened. She looked to the ceiling of the airport momentarily gathering her composure and walked off with Daisy to gate C. It was going to be a long flight. She didn't look back a second time, but desperately fought it and actually enjoyed Miss Wicks babbling. She even tried to pay attention to her random rants because it was something other than him to think about.

"Dr. Brennan?" asked Daisy

"Yes Miss Wick." Brennan said even though it was obvious she didn't want to talk.

"Thank you again for inviting me as the intern to come along. I…I really couldn't believe it when you told me that you chose me for the Maluku dig."

Brennan wasn't paying much attention to Daisy and didn't hear what she had said. She was in her own world. It was hard to do, pay attention to Daisy. Especially, since she was seated in a plane and physically shaking. Hard, because she missed her loved one so much she wanted to vomit. Hard, because she knew she would not have much contact with her best friend for about a year. Her best friend who was the man she was in love with. Even harder to do because she had just realized or more accurately, she admitted to him how much she loved him last night. She discovered he loved her just as much and now she was literally on her way to the opposite ends of the earth. Time Zones were the very least of her problems.

"I'm sorry what did you say Miss Wick?" asked Brennan

He was going to be fighting a war extremely soon. While she had already started to fight a war that raged inside of her, the battle of the heart was a dark and lonely war. Like most, the fight would be a hard one, the days would be extremely long, the nights longer, but worst of all she would be alone in this particular war more so than most.

In Afghanistan there would be hot days, cold nights, slow days, hours would seem like seconds and seconds like hours. She knew the Island of Maluku would be the same. They would be within yet without each other. While at the same time they would be, together yet alone. She knew she would have to fight the war called love.

"I was extremely excited that you picked me for this dig. I feel honored Dr. Brennan, thank you." Daisy said and Brennan struggled to hear her.

Though it is the most challenging of fights, she recently had come to realize it would be a much better feeling to know that in the end she had fought. Maybe she was terrified, petrified and never tried to show it. However, if she never fought, never tried no one was going to fight her own battle for her and she couldn't just stand and guard the wire. If she participated in the battle raging within her then she would at least know she tried. She wouldn't just stand there anymore.

She had come to realize that in the end that is what mattered, well mostly. If she did that, she would have then at least tried, participated in the battle. For if she never fought, how would she ever know who won in the end? Would they succeed or would they fail? It would have only been another unanswered question if she didn't participate in the most horrific of battles yet, love.

"You're welcome Miss Wick." Brennan responded hoping that it was the correct response, but at the same time not giving a damn as her mind wandered elsewhere.

Last night she had already risked it, thrown her heart out there to him and him alone. She had said it and she had meant it. They both laid it all on the line that night, that one night before they parted. The next morning laying in his bed his nearing deployment was still fresh in her mind, as was he in general. Angela would have said she had finally lived some.

"Dr. Brennan, Maluku is going to be beautiful. I researched it before we left and the beaches are breathtaking." Daisy said

Brennan thought Daisy said something but was unsure and honestly she didn't care right now. Daisy suddenly noticed she had gone unanswered and looked at the doctor beside her, she frowned sad for Brennan and let her be.

Brennan once heard Angela say all was fair in love and war. She was unsure about that statement now as she flew thousands of miles above the ground, thousands of miles away from him. Now curled up on her side alone, yet on a plane full of people a single hot tear slid down her cheek unnoticed, and she wondered. How is this ache, this desire to feel as if she needed him near her always, considered fair? How is Booth risking his life for hers considered fair? It wasn't.

_a glowing ember  
>burning hot<br>burning slow  
>deep within I'm shaken by the violence<br>of existing for only you  
><em>

Curled up on her side Temperance looked out of the window from her window seat. She looked up above her again, just as she did in the airport. She swallowed as her throat became even tighter. Hot glossy water formed in her eyes and she wished it wouldn't.

She inhaled curled up on her side faced toward the window, she exhaled a much needed breath. Closing her eyes she did what she had never done before, she prayed. Prayed to Booth's God that he would keep him safe, and then she prayed to Booth's God that he would hear her prayer. She smiled slightly at the irony, the prayer of an atheist.

For the simple reason that, when push comes to shove. People as a whole, do everything in their power to help the ones they love. Even if what they do, they do not necessarily believe in themselves. Curled up in her chair she felt another single hot tear escape and frowned although she did not break. For she couldn't, there were people around. It wasn't an option. So she did what she had to do and kept her composure. The tear or tears, now two in total were kept well hidden and went unnoticed.

She inhale and exhale again opening her eyes to look out of the window to such a pretty bright blue sky. Again, she wondered how Booth's God could let the sky look so 'metaphorically happy,' when she was so sad. It only made her miss him more and It hurt so badly so, so bad. Damn war, damn wars! She inhaled sucking it up because she had no choice. She would be fine it was only a year, right? Wrong.

_I know I can't be with you  
>I do what I have to do<br>I know I can't be with you  
>I do what I have to do<br>and I have sense to recognize but  
>I don't know how to let you go<br>I don't know how to let you go  
>I don't know how to let you go<em>

* * *

><p><em>Review? Song is Do What You Have To Do by Sarah Mclaghlan. For those reading Screw Rational, the day after I updated the last chap. I was out of town a week again sorry. I'm working on it now. Plus, with a military move quickly coming up for my best friend and her hubby. (who is already on house hunting leave) I was busy saying c ya later and helped with the house a bit before. Have to sell furniture, touch up, clean n junk yada yada like any move. Oh joy... <em>

_Just think of doing it a lot and not knowing or choosing where you are going. I'm going to change the lyrics in the song "Good Life" by One Republic to "My friends in New York they don't know where I've been for the past few years or so...Florida to Japan to California!" instead of the original "Paris to London to Colorado!" Hope you like the story...another chap?_

_Also, if you are able to stand and live in America. Don't tell me if ya don't do it, especially young kids in school when the pledge is said every morning. A kid told me he slept through it the other day. I was like really? I know someone who died while you slept, stand up.  
><em>


	3. Sound The Bugle Hear Its Moans

I just felt the need to say something yesterday on 8/6/11. My thoughts and prayers are with the families of the operators who gave their lives for us. All gave some, some gave all. RIP Gentlemen.

In KABUL, Afghanistan — The 30 American service members — most of them elite Navy SEALs — who died when their helicopter was shot down had rushed to help Army Rangers who had come under fire. (31-their also was a military dog killed-he will have a military funeral as well-they sniff I.E.D's and keep our soldiers sane while they are seas-they are family).

NATO was recovering the remains of the twin rotor Chinook helicopter. A current and a former U.S. official said the Americans included 22 SEALs, three Air Force combat controllers and a dog handler and his dog. The two spoke on condition of anonymity because military officials were still notifying the families of the dead.

All but two of the SEALs were from SEAL Team 6, the unit that killed bin Laden, U.S. officials said on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to release the information.

There are now 31 new names on fresh head stones, 31 funerals, 31 empty seats at the table, 31 pairs of boots with a rifle, dog tags and helmet lined up, 31 hearts no longer beating, 31 doors received that knock on the door they never wanted, 31 folded up flags were given away, more than 30 hearts shattered for loved ones, 31 lives were lost in the time it takes the waves of the ocean to wash away foot prints in the sand.

On fan fiction and on the television show "Bones" the character Temperance 'Bones' Brennan uses the word _ephemeral_ to describe relationships. Okay, some are…but life-that is the most ephemeral of all. Time holds no prisoners. A soldier never asks for a fight but he is always there to pick up the pieces.

So, what did you do yesterday? God Bless our Soldiers! Please stay safe men and women! My family and friends!

**The Sad Silent Song of A Soldier**

**And the flag draped coffins are a sailin' home  
>And the waves are watching as the engine drones<br>As the ship draws near, hear the bugle moan  
>The sad and silent song of a soldier With a hero's greeting we will welcome him, With hero's speeches we will honor him, With a hero's ending we will bury him, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. And comfort his family with a telegram, We regret to inform you we have lost a man, But we gave him the highest medal of the land, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. We know what an awful price he had to pay, But the enemy was contained for another day, We trained him well, but he would have wanted it that way, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. Oh, the weary wounded they wait by his side, Wondering why they hadn't also died, the picture of victory on its pride, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. And the flag is at half mast wet with foreign rain, Ignored by the stranger he had helped to train, To him it was duty, to them it's a game, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. At Arlington he's lowered down without a pause, And his native land welcomes him with open jaws, And the tombstone reads such a noble cause, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. Now a moment of silence for the broken man, While the president proudly crows "we'll never bend", And cheers their replacements marching off again, That's the sad and silent song of a soldier. And the flag draped coffins are a sailin' home, And the waves are a watchin' as the engines drone, As the ship draws near, hear the bugle moan The sad and silent song of a soldier.<strong>

**by Phil Ochs  
><strong> 


	4. I Will Remember YouWeep Not ForMemories

Ch. 3

Booth was still in the states on base at Quantico, Virginia. It was Monday and late but he was still up. He had a small platoon of men he was training and they were doing a bit of field work or what was a little like it. He was in charge of the strenuous two week hiking trip. Now he lay awake in a tent with two other men shooting the breeze before the hour he would drift off to sleep.

_I will remember you_  
><em>Will you remember me?<em>  
><em>Don't let your life pass you by<em>  
><em>Weep not for the memories...<em>

"So, Staff Sergeant are you married? Have any kids?" asked Rogers

Booth thought about it. He was married to Bones' intoxicating aura called true love, he wondered how she felt? He wondered if she couldn't get him off of her mind, just as he couldn't get her off of his.

"A nine year old boy and divorced." Booth answered not really wanting to talk much.

Matthews spoke up now. "Sorry to hear Staff Sergeant, anyone special at home?"

Booth wondered how he should answer and while there was someone very special. He didn't want to say yes because they weren't exclusive, it was only one night. Though, it was years of knowing each other better than they knew their selves. His mind wouldn't stop racing although Rogers was asleep now.

"It's new, now get some sleep guys it's ten and it's been a very long day and we have another tomorrow." Booth said his mind racing with memories of Bones and so many questions that he couldn't ask her. He eventually drifted off glad she would be there in his dreams.

_...I'm so tired but I can't sleep_  
><em>Standin' on the edge of something much too deep<em>  
><em>It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word<em>  
><em>Though we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard...<em>

It was ten am Tuesday morning in Indonesia on the Maluku Islands. Brennan wasn't listening to Daisy as she chattered on. They both walked toward the dig site to re-join everyone else. They had been at the dig site since six thirty this morning and now it was hotter than hell.

They both were returning from speaking with another anthropologist named Dr. Gerard. Brennan felt he would be useful on the dig and held intellect, she decided he wasn't too bad of a guy. In Brennan's book if you had brains you were okay. She couldn't really read if you were a good person or not right off of the bat.

Dr. Gerard had agreed with Brennan that the human remains they had found didn't look normal. They didn't look like the type of remains that the excavation crew was after. Though, no one else said anything and Brennan knew she couldn't say anything even if in fact they were fake or not what they seemed.

She thought about Booth as she caught Sweets' name come from Daisy's lips. Though, she didn't hear anything else she had said. She knew she was a day ahead of Booth as far as time went and that while it was around ten pm there it was ten in the morning the next day here.

She also thought of when they said goodbye at the airport Saturday and how she wanted to kiss him so badly, wanted to cry and held it in but most of all she wanted him to stay with her. There was no such thing as a 'Good' bye.

She looked closer at the skull in front of her, returning her focus back to her work and off of him. She found returning her focus to her work to be much harder than she anticipated, especially with her recent memories streaming through her mind like a slide show.

_...I will remember you_  
><em>Will you remember me?<em>  
><em>Don't let your life pass you by<em>  
><em>Weep not for the memories...<em>

Evening came on Maluku as seven am rolled around in the states for Booth and his men. Brennan, Daisy, and Dr. Gerard sat good night to each other and put their plates up heading to bed. They weren't plastic plates, only cheap glass ones.

The dig site had been closed off for the night and everyone had retired to their small Island shacks. The little huts had running water, a shower, two beds, two electrical sockets, a door that locked, as well as a bathroom with a locking door and vanity, heck they even had Wi-Fi. Needless to say they were far from the dig site. Indonesia wasn't completely uncivilized.

Daisy had just returned from the shower with a towel on her head Brennan was eager to get in when Daisy said there was still warm water. They took very short showers. Daisy climbed into bed as Brennan grabbed some pajamas out of her bag and retired to the bathroom. She stopped short when Daisy spoke up.

"Dr. Brennan what part of Afghanistan is Booth going too?" Brennan was faced away from her, she closed her eyes as she answered and took a breath.

"Kandahar." She never did turn around but proceeded on to the bathroom for a warm shower.

"Will you be able to contact him?" Daisy asked as Brennan walked away. Though, Brennan never answered her and Daisy figured her question had fallen on deaf ears. She was wrong.

Brennan stood in the shower wanting to talk to him, to roll over and be in his arms, to take his bottom lip in hers as she so often did, but mostly just to enjoy his company because he made her feel…he made her feel. She thought about what had happened between them, how would it change things, no one knew, she wondered if he was thinking about her as much as she was him?

All of a sudden memories invaded her mind, they weren't welcome memories at this moment but she couldn't keep them at bay. She tried to fight them and lost quickly as her hippo-campus recalled that night.

_...I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose_  
><em>Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose<em>  
><em>But once there was a darkness, deep and endless night<em>  
><em>You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light...<em>

"_Not tonight." She whispered again into his mouth not able to tear each others lips from one another._

_He smiled at her and kissed her forehead working his way down to playfully kissing her nose then lingering above her lips. His breath was warm on hers, her heart rate picked up and she felt warmth surge other places through her body, a cause to his effect on her. She smiled a lopsided grin with a glint of mischief in her eyes. _

"_No, not tonight baby. Tonight I'm yours Temperance." He said and she smiled at his words kissing him at first slowly and then passionately, desire was evident in both of them. He matched her kiss as they rolled over once devouring each other again and again. Her hair hung down into his face, the dark light of his room made the two silhouettes in the room. Silhouettes that were infatuated with one another, at times the love they shared was full of fervor passionate infatuation for the each other. _

_Other times they slowed down their love making to a more methodical and slow type of love making. They rode the waves, but every time they did it together and she was right, they had great stamina and neither was sloppy-at all. _

_They had rolled over and she lay on the bed, her head tossed back. She whimpered at Booth as he explored other areas other than her mouth. She glanced down at him and moaned._

"_Booth…Oh…God…Oh…Please Booth." Brennan pleaded _

"_Soon Bones." _

_Brennan took her bottom lip in her mouth and waited a bit longer. "Mmhhmm, mm-hmm…God…no…now Booth. Now…." She said and he looked up at her face and obeyed._

_Soon two became one and hushed whispers came from the two black silhouettes in the bedroom. A while later Brennan let her head fall back onto his pillow. Both of them waited for their breathing to become normal again along with their racing heart beats. Brennan looked at him in the quiet of the night and smiled reaching out to touch his lips with her thumb. He leaned forward a bit nuzzling it, a light kiss._

_Their breathing and racing hearts returned to normal finally. She looked at him and he placed a kiss on her brow, she surprised him by curling up into him and wrapping her arm around his torso as her head laid on his chest. _

"_Booth?"_

"_Hhmm?" he was playing with her hair, running his fingers through it._

"_I find that you were right, the law of physics can in fact be broken." They were both quiet a moment. _

"_I love you Bones." He said wrapping both arms around her torso as she laid on his chest her arm draped around him as well. She was quiet, saying nothing in response. Her eyes watered and she didn't move her arms to wipe the tears away. Instead the tears fell onto Booth and the moment he felt them on his skin was the moment she explained what she felt. The moment the last bit of her imperviousness fell away, and some of her strength as well as she crumbled._

"_I love you too Booth…and I admit it Booth, I'm a little scared. You know me, and I'm never scared. Well sometimes, but…can you, can you… just... can you hold me for a while Booth?" she asked sounding like a worried little girl._

_He gathered her up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Of course Bones, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here with you." He said and she sometimes wondered if she could believe such nice words. Though, it was Booth it wasn't just anyone. She smiled a sad smile and kissed his shoulder closing her eyes her eyelashes wet and a single tear ran down her cheek._

_...That I will remember you_  
><em>Will you remember me?<em>  
><em>Don't let your life pass you by<em>  
><em>Weep not for the memories...<em>

Daisy wondered if Dr. Brennan was okay? She had been in the shower a while now. She got up and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Dr. Brennan?"

Daisy's voice snapped Brennan out of her memory of that night. She didn't even realize she had been crying or that the water was now freezing that ran down her body.

"I'll be right out Daisy." Brennan responded

"Okay." Daisy said and went to lie back down in her bed; it had been a long day.

Brennan retired to her bed and turned the bedside lamp off, towel still in her hair.

"Dr. Brennan?" Daisy's voice cut through the silence. Brennan thought she was asleep.

"Yes?"

"I know this is none of my business and I know that it's rude to ask or pry and…"

"What is it Daisy?" Brennan asked into the pitched black night. She and Daisy couldn't see each other.

"It's obvious that you love agent Booth and he you. Why do you ignore it? I mean…I know I'm just an intern but it's not like I've ever been in a relationship before. I just feel there is so much you two are missing out on." Daisy said, pausing she added, "I just want you both happy is all. Everyone does."

"Goodnight Miss Wick." Brennan said

_...I will remember you_  
><em>Will you remember me?<em>  
><em>Don't let your life pass you by<em>  
><em>Weep not for the memories...<em>

Daisy didn't see the tears running down Brennan's cheeks in the pitch black night. She was turned away from Daisy anyway, prepared to wipe the tears away quickly. Though, it felt good to let her mind reminisce of that night, of them and of what could have been. She tried not to over think what Daisy had said but it proved very hard when love was intoxicating. When she finally drifted off he invaded her dreams, at least they weren't nightmares.

* * *

><p>What do you guys think? Enjoying? Not so much? Guess I will find out eventually...I know how is Booth, well he hasn't left the states yet-I'm being realistic he deploys in a couple days...What is he thinking? Will he be okay? Won't he? What about Daisy? The dig-it is a bust after all.<p> 


	5. Kiss The Rain

Ch. 5

_Hello  
>Can you hear me?<br>Am I gettin' through to you?_

_Hello_  
><em>Is it late there?<em>  
><em>There's a laughter on the line<em>  
><em>Do you swear you're there alone?<em>

Brennan woke earlier than Daisy it was around four am actually. She could hear the light pitter patter of rain on the metal roof. She knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So she quietly dressed and slipped out of their shack/hut that they shared into the early morning of the wilderness. She could hear her own thoughts now. She noticed as she walked through the run down town they were in that no one had seen her. There were some lights on in some of her co-co-workers huts.

_Cause I…I'm  
>Tryin' to explain<br>Somethin's wrong  
>Ya just don't sound the same<br>Why don't you  
>Why don't you<br>Go outside  
>Go outside and…<em>

Though, the natives were the only people out and about on the dirt roads and beaten paths. She walked alone on a certain path that leads her to the water. Now soaking wet and just fine with it Brennan could smell the salt of the water and hear the soft and rhythmic sound of the waves crashing onto the shore. It soothed her racing mind. She finally made it to her destination. The path ended giving her a full view of the ocean. It was beautiful.

_Kiss the rain  
>Whenever you need me<br>Kiss the rain  
>Whenever I'm gone, too long.<br>If your lips  
>Feel lonely and thirsty….<br>_

"Staff Sergeant." Roberts called to Booth and he turned his head in the airport to look at him. He noticed it was pouring outside.

"Sir?"

"You ready? We got a bet going, I say Jameson throws up on the carrier." The younger man said. Everyone was waiting to board and trying to get psyched up for going over there. Emotions ran high with the men right now. Thankfully, or not thankfully there was no drinking on the flight over.

Some men hated flying, but you can't swim to Afghanistan now can you? A ship was for the navy, they were Army men damn it and they were tough. Though, all he could think of was Bones. Booth glanced to Wilson and it gave him reassurance knowing he wasn't the only one who felt the way he did. Hell, Wilson had three kids and had been married ten years. Booth looked out of the room his men and he were in to the rain once more.

Booth sighed they would be boarding soon. Bones wouldn't want him to bet, she had helped him give it up.

"Staff Sergeant?" Roberts asked

"I'm out Roberts." Booth walked away leaving Roberts to his peers whom he happily joined. The kids attention span wasn't very long anyway, he didn't take Booth's rejection to heart at all.

Brennan had walked about a mile alongside the shore. The sound of the waves comforted her, pitch black sky which still shone with a few stars made her feel connected to Booth in some way. She knew it was daylight for him when it was nighttime for her. Odd she could see the stars even with the cloudy sky.

Even if it was cloudy Brennan also knew the stars never disappeared, the earth was only rotating. They were always there, like Booth. He may be out of sight for the moment but he was still literally on the same land she was setting foot on, under the same sky. All the continents use to be connected at one time anyway. They were alive, both on the same planet, and both planned to return to each other.

It just seemed so much harder than she had expected. This full rotation was not just a full rotation. It was not a regular change, not this rotation. No, this was different. The salty wind blew and Brennan wrapped her arms around her. The sand from her shoes and socks which she had removed to walk the beach was now all over her arm and body.

…_Kiss the rain  
>And wait for the dawn.<br>Keep in mind  
>We're under the same sky<br>And the nights  
>As empty for me, as for you<br>If ya feel  
>You can't wait till morinin'<br>Kiss the rain  
>Kiss the rain<br>Kiss the rain_

"Hey Miss Lady?" Brennan turned quickly to the voice behind her. She wasn't surprised to find it belonged to a boy about eleven years old. He was carrying or more loaded down with a huge basket filled with some type of fruit. His eyes were large and lashes wet from the rain.

"Yes?"

"Why you out here? It so early. You no usually come out of the huts this early." He said honestly in decent English.

"Where are you going?" Brennan asked not answering him.

"Where you going?" the boy repeated back.

Brennan thought about it. "I don't know." She said wistfully into the rain.

"You one funny lady." The boy shook his head back and forth and continued to walk down the seashore.

"Hey, Hey wait I'll help you carry that wherever you are going. I will go with you to help deliver it." Brennan said and the boy laughed at her. Brennan figured he would, a white woman from the states does not usually offer to help deliver anything for an Indonesian Island kid. The locals liked to keep to their selves, no outsiders.

Suddenly the boy realized Brennan was serious. He looked around as if to make sure no one was watching him.

"Half." The boy said.

"Halfway?" Brennan showed him what she meant by drawing a line in the sand and cutting it in half. Just to make sure they were on the same page. The boy nodded yes and Brennan took half of his load as they started out to where she knew not. Only that she would only be going half way there. If it became too late she would simply give the boy back his original load and head back to her hut.

"What's your name lady miss?" the boy had a smile that reminded Brennan of Parker and Booth.

"Tempe."

"Agung." He said proudly as they walked together yet alone in the early morning hours in the light rain.

"Meaning great."

The boy smiled and looked to Brennan nodding yes. "Great."

Brennan smiled back. She readjusted her grip on the pack she was carrying and looked up to the stars again, they were fading. It was getting lighter out as the inevitable dawn approached. Though, she knew they wouldn't ever leave her, the stars never moved. It was earth – she and he that moved. Not the emotions they felt on the inside. No, the center would hold.

"Agung, do you like the stars?" Brennan didn't know why she asked the boy it just came out. He looked at her odd as if he didn't understand the question. "Bintang." She said and motioned to the stars. Still the boy looked at her odd and while Brennan knew the locals didn't like it when someone that wasn't native spoke in their language.

"Agung, Anda seperti bintang-bintang?" Brennan asked again in his native language. The boy smiled.

"Sangat Tempe. Anda dapat berharap pada bintang mereka membawa keberuntungan." He replied and it took Brennan a second to translate what he said into English in her mind. Then she smiled slightly at his words, more because he spoke to her in his language. She felt privileged. _'Very much Tempe. You can wish on the stars they bring good luck.'_

"I don't know if I believe in wishing on the stars." She replied.

"It good, I know so you can believe. Not be such funny lady if you need make wish. You be sad if no wish. You need make wish, yes?" Agung asked.

Brennan contemplated the boy's words. They were only stars they couldn't solve any of her problems. It would be irrational to wish on one, yet Agung and his family believed so heavily in astrology and the zodiac signs. So maybe just for Agung she would make a wish. _Though, how did she wish correctly?_ Was there a correct way? She needed to do this right.

She spoke her thoughts aloud to Agung. _How do I wish correctly? _

"Bagaimana aku berharap benar?" Brennan asked seriously.

Agung laughed a big smile on his face. "Shut you eyes and think you…think you pikiran." Agung forgot the word for thoughts in English.

"I choose a star first." Brennan said, it was a question.

Agung nodded yes. "Wish on bintang." He repeated to Brennan, Agung nodded up to the now lighter sky still filled with stars that were fading. "Oh, pastikan bintang sangat cerah!" he spoke quickly telling Brennan to _make sure the star was very bright_. She nodded yes to him and closed her eyes.

_Hello  
>Do you miss me?<br>I hear you say you do  
>But not the way I'm missin' you<br>What's new?  
>How's the weather?<br>Is it stormy where you are?  
>Cause I'm so close but it feels like you're so far<br>Oh would it mean anything…  
><em>

Agung watched the foreign woman who spoke halfway decent in his language walk next to him. Her eyes closed she walked on and he wondered what she was thinking. Wondered why she was really walking the shore line so early in the rainy weather as most of her people slept.

His dad said people came to walk the shore alone for answers. So, Agung figured that was why the strange white woman was out here alone walking the shore so early. Agung knew that the water was a very powerful thing, it healed people. Both on the inside and physically, it healed.

Agung thought it was odd when Tempe offered to help him, but even though he knew he shouldn't accept he did. At least her name wasn't as strange as some of the other's that weren't local. Mr. Johnson and Bill were such odd names. Agung watched Tempe her eyes were still shut, must be an important wish.

Brennan could feel the sand under her feet more than ever now. With her eyes closed, the smell of the water was stronger, the sound of the waves louder, the droplets of rain that brushed her cheek more present, she could even hear Agung's feet amongst the sand as they walked. She knew her other senses had taken over, her sight now gone momentarily. She inhaled the salt water, and felt the wind brush lightly against her cheek.

…_If you knew  
>What I'm left imagining<br>In my mind  
>In my mind<br>Would you go  
>Would you go and…<em>

Booth's touch was just as light she thought a smile gracing her lips. She quickly stopped her thoughts from going down that path. Agung looked up to the woman who was now smiling as she walked with closed eyes. She had made her wish, that Booth would stay safe. That's all she wished for. She now just enjoyed walking along with her eyes closed.

Then just like that Agung spoke and Brennan opened her eyes. "Stop. Half Tempe."

Agung pointed back to the way that they came. Brennan understood and took off the makeshift sack on her back then put it on Agung's back next to the other one. The boy was loaded down, and Brennan wished she could help him out more but she had to get back and he had to make a delivery to a place she wasn't welcome.

_Kiss the rain  
>And you'd fall over me<br>Think of me  
>Think of me<br>Think of me  
>Only me<br>_

They both looked at each other Agung smiled thanking her and Brennan smiled back. Then she turned and was about to head back but she stopped a moment. She looked at the two small tracks of human foot prints along the shore line. They were the only tracks she could see it was too desolate of a place for many people and too early in the morning for more.

She smiled and let her head fall back as the rain fell on her face it tasted sweet on her lips compared to the salt water she stood so close too. She let her arms out to either side and just stood, just let herself be a moment. When she opened her eyes she smiled a bittersweet smile and began to jog barefoot back to the trail she had come from.

_Kiss the rain  
>Whenever I'm gone too long<br>If your lips  
>Feel lonely and thirsty<br>Kiss the rain  
>And wait for the dawn<br>Keep in mind  
>We're under the same skies<br>And the nights  
>As empty for me, as for you<em>  
><em>If you feel<br>You can't wait till morning…_

Booth had sat next to Wilson but hadn't spoken too much. The huge carrier was now roaring down the runway everything rattling about and then suddenly they were in the sky and all was silent except for Jameson puking. Booth blocked that out and as the plane cut through the turbulence the storm had created his mind was still on Bones. He looked out the window at the moon and wondered if Brennan thought of him when she saw it.

Probably not, it was Bones. She didn't believe in wishes and romantic stuff like he did. He sighed as he braced himself as the carrier hit some bad turbulence. If he only knew, only knew what was going on in Brennan's mind. That she had just made a wish on a star, in the rain and missed him just as bad as he missed her. She could not, not think of him. She wondered about him constantly. It was almost debilitating at times.

Brennan walked up to Dr. Johnson where they were serving breakfast. She felt, renewed, rejuvenated. She didn't know the right word but she felt better than she did before her walk. She reeled her emotions in.

"Good morning Dr. Johnson." She said

Daisy appeared not long after Brennan it was now six and the whole dig team was eating breakfast now.

"Good morning Dr. Brennan." Daisy said then continued not waiting for a reply. "Though, it sure is a wet one."

A few other anthropologists nodded in agreement with Daisy's statement.

Brennan only said "I like the rain." She then got up and tossed her plastic utensils and paper plate in the trash.

_Kiss the rain  
>Kiss the rain<br>Kiss the rain  
>Kiss the rain<br>Kiss the rain  
>Oooooohhhhh<br>Kiss the rain  
>Oooooohhhhh<em>

Kiss the rain

Booth looked down to his arm rest for a second the turbulence was pretty bad. It was odd seeing a man's arm next to his on a flight instead of the feminine one he was so familiar with. Bones, he wondered how she was doing. He looked back out of the window into the evening sky and pelting rain.

One rotation, yeah it wouldn't be so bad. He would be fine, but he had never truly been in love before. Neither one of them had, it was going to be one heck of a ride for Brennan and he. He knew this, but he also knew the destination-the landing would be worth it. Until then he would weather the storm, _they_ would_ together_.

_Hello  
>Can ya hear me?<br>Can ya hear me?  
>Can ya hear me?<em>

The sun was hot beating down on everyone and it was only nine am. "Dr. Brennan!" Brennan heard her name and turned to the voice yelling it.

She was starting to walk toward Hilgard when some jumped and others just stare as lightning struck a tree nearby and bark flew and a huge crack was heard accompanied by a thud as the tree landed.

Gilbert's looked to Brennan as Johnson and some of the other's were packing things up.

"You still like the rain Dr. Brennan?" Gilbert's said disappointed that it had put a halt on the dig.

Brennan was quiet a moment. "Of course why wouldn't I? I never said I liked the lightning, just the rain."

Daisy walked up and Gilbert and he looked at Daisy. "You like the rain Daisy?"

"At this moment definitely not although…" Daisy went on but Brennan had drowned them out long ago. She only thought of her wish on a bing-tang, Booth and the little boy she met this morning that told her, not only_ should_ she but she _needed_ to wish on a star, they brought good luck. The little boy that made sure it was the brightest of all the stars too. Brennan smiled for she didn't like the rain, no, she loved it.

_Kiss the rain_

_Kiss the rain_

_Oh, Oh Kiss the rain…_

* * *

><p>Kiss The Rain by Thriving Ivory :) Great song...Review? Good bad okay?<em><br>_


	6. Letter From A Porcelain Teddy Bear

_Hey Booth,_

_I have Wi-Fi. I'm risking it and hoping you do too, I'll know when I get a message back. Though, that is obvious. Obvious that I would know when a message alerts me I mean. I'm fine, actually that's a lie. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me over there. Though, I find irrationally I feel as if I need to talk to you, tell you some things. I hope that is okay._

_It's hard it's really hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I'm not used to things being hard, but I'm struggling now. I've found you go on each day and while there are good days and bad days, there are more good than bad. I miss you. I miss you Booth. I miss your voice, and lying in your arms. I miss you explaining things to me and your smile._

_I miss your eyes because they captivate me and I know them well, eyes that I have let see the inner workings of my heart. I don't let people in Booth I'm a guarded person, yet somehow my walls are transparent to you. It's so very frustrating and wonderful all at once. _

_It's hard to keep my head up today, today isn't a good day. I should be thankful you are alive, but today I'm struggling inside because I don't want you to be in Afghanistan and me in Maluku. I want you here with me, together. I miss you Booth, bad. I wish you could come home, come home safe and soon. _

_It's late here and every night seems so clear. It poured the other day and I spoke to a little boy on the beach in his native language. I felt honored because natives usually don't speak to us in their native language. I ran barefoot on the beach in the rain and smiled because it was relaxing. The nights are filled with so many stars and one can see them so much easier than in D.C. What are your nights like? I think about you at night and about us. Many what ifs enter my mind and I try to dismiss them but it's so much easier said than done. Do you know what I mean?_

_Daisy and I share a room or hut and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Ms. Wick still talks a lot, but her mindless chatter is easy to block out. Though, I find when I'm alone without her chatter it's then I think about you the most. My mind races with thoughts sometimes unsettling ones, I don't like that you are in a war zone. Though, I know there is nothing I can do but talk to you, I know that helps. At least I believe so; you said it would help, writing you. So I am, writing you Booth, just like you wanted._

_Booth I never told you but I haven't had anyone hold me the way you had the night before you left since my mother died. I don't usually embrace people or people don't embrace me and if so it's only momentarily. Other relationships were in fact just sex. He would use me or I him. Writing this is hard, but I have to tell you. Then maybe the knot in my stomach will subside. I was used and I used, the need for human touch is anthropologically speaking necessary to become a healthy adult. I lacked human touch and even now my eyes irrationally gloss over missing yours. _

_You held me like I was special or very important. This makes no sense, but I felt as if I was a porcelain teddy bear. A child's favorite stuffed animal that they could not release from their grip yet held like the finest most delicate porcelain doll. You didn't have to hold me like that, but you did and I miss you. I miss you and I…I love you. I love you Booth and I mean it._

_I hope you have WI-FI where you are and receive this soon. _

_Bones_

_P.S I hope you know I don't care if you call me Bones, I never really have._

Booth scrolled up to re-read her letter and prayed his computer didn't die again in mid letter and prayed there were no road blocks. He was stationed in Kandahar, it wasn't the best place especially because there was a ton of IED's like a billion. They had a dog that sniffed for IED's and they were constantly getting them out with the tractor so no one would run them over or get hit. He smiled, she missed him-she loved him. He chuckled at her PS and when he began to write her back he found he missed her even more. Bones. A porcelain teddy bear? He smiled at that, she was his very own teddy bear. He missed holding her too.

_Bones,_

_I'm fine don't worry about me, please. The nights are _

"Sergeant Major! Sergeant Major!" Booth jumped up at one of his boots yelling for him and left the computer open on his rack to join his men. Shots could be heard and yelling and screaming were going on. Booth jumped inside the passenger side of the hum-v as they raced down the open road.

"Damn camels!" the fire fight had scattered a heard and they were blocking the road.

Brennan tossed and turned because today was a hard day, but she felt guilty for missing him and saying to him what she had at times. A hard day? She knew her days were hard and this love thing was challenging and new. Though, it had to be nothing compared to what he was going through on a daily basis. No, he was fine, he would have an easy deployment he was only training men. Though, in war there is no such thing as only.

Review? Continue? (boots means men in military lingo and IED is an explosive device and yes there are heards of damn camels).


	7. Just A Dream

Booth looked into Bones eyes. "I love you, you know that."

"I know." She smiled lying atop his bare chest. She had no clothing covering her upper torso either.

He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face into the crook of his neck, kissing him. She pulled back looking down into eyes that were the equivalent to the depths of the Grand Canyon. The depths of the ocean soon crashed into the canyon filling it as kaleidoscope blue shades mixed with multicolored dark canyon eyes.

Booth smiled his canyon eyes soon filled with her ocean eyes, they were one again.

"Booth, I don't ever want to leave this bed. I know that's an irrational statement, but I feel I can afford to lose some rational tonight." Bones said and Booth smiled.

He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. She smiled looking down at him. He smiled up at her because he was home, no more lonely nights. They were together again as one. He laid a soft kiss on her forehead. "Tonight I'm yours Bones."

She smiled at him again, her big blue eyes boring a hole into his soul and piercing his heart. He inhaled and exhaled as her lips covered his. So soft, familiar, he was hungry, and she was too. Bones for breakfast he thought to himself as she battled for dominance, it was a fierce battle too. She was a strong willed woman, passion and fire ensued.

"Sergeant Major!" Adams yelled.

"Bones…Bones…"

"Sergeant Major!" Adams yelled again looking to his Staff Sergeant. He smacked Booth and the men waited.

Booth sat up slowly everything was spinning and blurry, his mind was racing. Suddenly, he realized it was just a dream, just a dream. Adams called him again; he had been passed out cold. Everything was a blacked out blur, he came too slowly and the men gathered he couldn't hear them after a bit. Booth was confused he saw their mouths moving but no sound came out.

He realized tired, the firefight had gone on through the night and it was now morning. He was lying in his rack staring at the computer in front of him. He couldn't find Bones and what was on his head? A bandage but why was he here, resting, at leatherneck, a computer in front of him?

One of the guys had his ipod on the dock. It was turned up very loud and was the first thing Booth heard. Bits and pieces of a song, lyrics drifted through the air as his hearing slowly returned. The IED had hit the truck in front of them-everyone was okay and back at leatherneck. Though, four guys including Booth plus a journalist had lost their hearing temporarily. They were all assured it would come back soon. The music drifted in and out of his hearing, just like his consciousness.

_I was thinking about her  
>Thinking bout me<br>Thinkin bout us (us)  
>What we gunna be?<br>Open my eyes, (Yeah)  
>it was only just a dream...<em>

Adams looked at Staff Sergeant McAllister. "Sarge, what the hell is he talking about? He is rambling about some fucking Bones."

_So I travel back (uh)  
>down that road (road)<br>Will she come back? (Uh)  
>No one knows<br>I realize It was only just a dream…._

Booth's eyes fluttered closed again to see big blue eyes looking back into his eyes. Not two men looking at him like he was under a microscope. The men now gone, the woman he loved lay atop him smiling as he kissed her lips, her eyes shut as well as she tasted his lips crushing onto her own.

"Bones?" Booth said and Adams looked at Staff Sergeant with a _'what the hell'_ type look.

Then Just like that Bones was gone, and he realized it was only just a dream.

_…Now you ain't around, baby I can't think  
>I shoulda put it down, shoulda got that ring<br>Cuz I can still feel it in the air  
>See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair…<em>

"Bones?" Booth said and Adams looked at Staff Sergeant with another _'what the hell'_ type look. Booth tried to sit up a bit more only to become dizzier. "Bones?"

"Sergeant Major, what the fuck are you talking about?" Adams said.

"Let him be, they have someone coming in here soon. They will take care of them." Staff Sergeant said.

The computer lay there untouched and the journalist saw the open document. It was a letter, and being a journalist she was nosy and had to read it. He had began to write her back, but stopped abruptly. Bones? What a strange nickname thought Hannah who lay on the rack beside Booth's.

* * *

><p>Sorry but I will get back to Brennan and shall I get back to B&amp;B or shall my blonde journalist play a larger roll in fanfic than in the show hhmm ...oh and question I was thinking of either naming my new dressage horse either <em>"Making Loud Music"<em> or "_Moves Like Jagger_" What do you guys think? Open for musical inspired, names he is a gelding.


	8. Into The Fire

"Fire, is like love. When your young, it leaves one to wonder. How can something be so captivating and beautiful yet, so dangerous? Your parents warned you to stay back from those dancing flames that put off such comfort and warmth when you were a child, don't get too close the camp fire. Though, no one listens and sometimes it takes one of those captivating flames to burn you to fully understand how something so captivating can hurt so bad, how something so captivating can leave such a scar."

~aka megwill ;)

Booth's eye's started to flutter open from a dream as he lay on his rack a horrid headache hitting him full force. He lay quiet observing the woman next to him, she was watching him as well. She spoke and he asked her to speak up. "Sergeant Booth? Is that your name?" she said loudly noticing his rank and name by his tried to compose himself and gather his thoughts. His dream had been hauntingly real and familiar, a woman with blue eyes had filled him with comfort and hope, she was hypnotizing and her life like dream still haunted him. He tried to shake it.

_Mother teach me to walk again_  
><em> Milk and honey, so intoxicating<em>

_ I'm reunited_  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> I am the spark<em>  
><em> Into the night<em>  
><em> I yearn for comfort<em>

"Yes, yeah. What is your name?" asked Booth

"Hannah, Hannah Burley." said Hannah smiling as both she and Booth's hearing started to fade back just a bit, enough to understand each other.

"Nice, to meet you Hannah." Booth smiled back not knowing Hannah had read what Bones had wrote to him and he had started to write back. As of right now he had forgot she had even wrote him, the affects of the ied still ever present. Forgot he had wrote her, yet he had not forgot the woman in his dreams whoever she may be.

_Open the doors that lead on into Eden_  
><em> Don't want no cheap disguise<em>  
><em> I follow the signs marked "back to the beginning"<em>  
><em> No more compromise<em>

"Where are you from?" asked Hannah

"D.C, what about you?"

She laughed a slight chuckle at first, her smile was nice and her blue eyes shone as she triggered a memory and for a second Booth remembered blue eyes, he saw them for a second, but who did they belong too? "I'm from all over, I'm a journalist. Though, I was born in Colorado."

"Are you here covering a story?"

"Yes, we were hit too." Hannah said and moved the laptop that lay on her rack so she could sit up a bit more. The sergeant was nice and good looking at that, he hadn't mentioned anything about this Bones person who had wrote him so openly. She wondered if he remembered the letter or even the relationship? How wrong would it be to make an advance toward him if he never said anything about her? He was lonely, she was lonely and they were both here. It was a moment, she would never expect anything only friends, but if he would be okay with more she would never mention the letter.

Booth nod, "Everyone else?"

Hannah sighed, "I'm unsure."

Booth nod again and looked at the lap top now on the ground. He dismissed it and looked back to the woman bandages all over her, roughed up with bruises and cuts. He felt a bit protective of her, while she had wanted to cover a story out here she never knew what war was like. Not unless you had been in one. "How are you doing? You looked like you took a hard hit too."

"I woke before you." she smiled a sly smile and Booth chuckled.

"You did." he said and they spoke about life and what Booth could remember until night came.

It had been a week and Hannah and during the days he and she would dance around subjects of life and the hesitant emotion he felt toward her. Though, when night came and dreams invaded his unconsciousness so did a woman. She was beautiful, a brunette with piercing blue eyes even more blue than Hannah's. A rush of emotion overcame him whenever he saw her. The dreams weren't always the same, but one in particular stuck out.

_And into the fire_  
><em> I'm reunited<em>  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> I am the spark<em>  
><em> Into the night<em>  
><em> I yearn for comfort<em>  
><em><br>_

Though, he never heard her voice in his dreams he felt as if he didn't need too. He understood the words that went unsaid between them, she was intriguing, unknown yet so familiar all at once. He felt this enigmatic nexus most when he saw her blue eyes filled with a glossy cover staring into his at an airport. Her eyes were puffy and her face a bit red though even in his dream he could tell she was trying to hold back the tears. He took her hand in his and said something to her although he didn't know what.

_Free the water that carries me to the sea_  
><em> You, I see as my security<em>

When he woke from his dreams he always felt a feeling of disappointment that he had woke. He felt if only he could have carried out the dream just a little longer. Because he knew while the light blue eyes he woke to everymorning beside him were welcoming and warm. They didn't come close to the blue eyes that haunted him in his dreams, the woman in his dreams God, she was greatly intriguing he wondered if she really existed. Night was a comforting time, because he knew he would see his mystery woman that filled him with an indescribable emotion. A sparkling fire that put off more warmth than he had ever felt in his life. His dreams had become an addiction, he had become addicted and intoxicated by the woman in his dreams.

__And into the fire_  
><em> I'm reunited<em>  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> I am the spark<em>  
><em> Into the night<em>  
><em> I yearn for comfort<em>_

He wonder as Hannah started to say something to him in the early hours of the morning the woman of his dreams still haunting him he ignored Hannah. She had woken him from the warmth and security he only found at night, in what he considered waking dreams. The dream woman's warmth so warm; he was drawn to it a moth to a flame. He wandered toward the fire every night, a fire ignited by a dancing blue flame. Two to be exact as he remember the woman's eyes and how they danced a blue flame; a spark ignited just for him.

_I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me_  
><em> I will walk into the fire 'til its heat doesn't burn me<em>  
><em> And I will feed the fire...<em>

Now he only wondering one final thing, who was this mystery woman and most importantly did she really exist? How would he ever know, he didn't know, but he did know he had to find out sooner rather than later. He didn't want the fire to fade, the flame to burn out...but were the embers that were burning so hot and so slow even real to begin with or was it just one of those fake gasoline fires that flicker and look nice that you can turn on with a remote? He didn't know. He looked to Hannah, he knew for a fact she was real.

_Into the fire_  
><em> I'm reunited<em>  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> I am the spark<em>  
><em> Into the night<em>  
><em> I yearn for comfort<em>  
><em> Into the night, Into the fire<em>

"Seeley, are you awake?" Hannah asked softly her voice still laden with sleep.

Booth look to her and smiled. After a week he had grown accustom to her using his first name. "Yeah, morning Hannah."

* * *

><p>Brennan sat up quickly "NO!" She found herself in a cold sweat her breathing heavy. She lay in bed trying to compose herself and shake the bad dream. Brennan's loud <em>No<em> had woke Daisy.

"Dr. Brennan are you okay?" Daisy asked hesitantly concern evident in her voice.

Brennan nod yes as she said the word "Yes."

Silence linger in the night and Brennan wrapped her arms around herself, still in another world yearning for Booth's touch as she recovered from the traumatic nightmare.

"Bad dream?" asked Daisy pulling Brennan out of her silent reverie.

Brennan nod yes, but said nothing more as she remain sitting in the same position.

Daisy had an idea what the dream was about. "Can you write him?" Daisy took a leap and asked about what she knew Dr. Brennan didn't like to speak of; she and Booth's relationship.

Brennan shook her head yes. Daisy nod yes in understanding. Then Brennan turned to look at Daisy. "I wrote him, I'm unsure he has access to a computer."

Daisy only nod yes, despite what people thought she could listen when someone really needed her too. It took effort, but she knew when to keep her mouth shut when such tension as the kind she could feel tonight filled the same air she breathe. It was sad, tonight was sad.

The two women sat in silence holding each others gaze, Brennan's eyes full of fear and dis-spare. She missed Booth. Daisy's eyes knew that expression and she felt for her superior, love hurt. The two women continue to stare at each other in silence. Never saying a word to each other Daisy fell back asleep as Brennan lay awake wondering of Booth and what he was doing, she could hear the fire from earlier tonight clearly as it still burned outside.

Brennan suddenly tossed her comforter off, pulled her legs out from under it and set her feet upon the ground. She looked at Daisy's sleeping form then quietly walked outside into the night closing the door softly behind her. She sat next to the fire, it's flames were dying down not wanting it to fade out she decided to stoke it with a nearby stick. She poked at the embers watching as some sparks flew and crackled and the flame grew higher. The dancing flame was captivating. She didn't know why she was drawn to it, only that she was. It comforted her, the fire.

_Into the fire_  
><em> I'm reunited<em>  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> Oh, I am the spark<em>  
><em> Into the night<em>  
><em> I yearn for comfort<em>  
><em> Into the fire, Into the fire...<em>

* * *

><p>It was late evening and Adams walked in to see Booth. "Hey Sergeant, looks like you are doing better, you guys want to go for a walk?" Adams asked.<p>

Booth and Hannah both nodded yes following Adams out. Adams had to leave and it was only Hannah and Booth. They walked as she did most of the talking, Booth paused a moment, long enough for Hannah to notice. "What is it?" she asked looking off in the same direction as Booth.

"They have a fire going." it was a random statement said quietly almost wistfully.

Hannah looked at Booth oddly and nodded yes. "Oh yeah, they do."

They stood in silence. While Booth admired the dancing flames which captivated him to no end. Hannah wondered what was so captivating about a simple fire? What she didn't know was every night the man beside her was reunited with a woman, a woman whose blue eyes danced with a flame brighter than any other Booth had ever seen. She didn't know that this woman's eyes haunted him throughout the day, her set of glowing embers burning hot and slow, her gaze etched in his memory.

Hannah didn't know this dream woman was actually the woman whose letter she had read; his porcelain teddy bear who he referred to as Bones in the letter. Though, that's the thing he didn't know either. Hannah and Booth continued to walk away from the fire, both could hear it very clearly crackling behind them as they walked farther away from it's warmth, away from the fire.

_into the fire_  
><em> I'm reunited<em>  
><em> Into the fire<em>  
><em> I am the spark fade...<em>

* * *

><p>Into The Fire by Sara Mclaughlan ...hhmm? Let me know what you think I'm unsure, btw this is a great song. Listen to it and maybe one will understand the chapter better if they don't already. I liked Brennan Daisy bit and Bren stoking the fire :) just me though.


	9. Dreaming With A Broken Heart

"When your dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part..."

Dreaming With A Broken Heart by John Mayer I would listen as I read, but that's just me.

* * *

><p>Night had come and Booth and Hannah had returned to their racks, she was itching to ask him for more and he knew it. Though, it was night and she knew that night and early morning was not the ideal time to have any deep conversations with Seeley Booth. She didn't know why, she just knew that his mood was a bit different early in the morning and late at night, wistful and distant.<p>

Booth roll away from Hannah thinking of someone else, someone he didn't know, but at the same time he knew all too well. Someone who he could count on tonight to make him feel safe and dare he say it, loved. The woman in his dreams, he shut his eyes knowing he would be met with her own irises as soon as he fell asleep. He knew without a doubt he would wake a picture of her face burned into his memory. A picture that would last throughout the entire day.

When night came the image of the dream woman's face was blurry and not as clear as it was early in the morning, but with night came sleep and sleep brought dreams. When dreaming he would fall into a world where he was reunited with this woman. He would eventually wake to an inevitable dawn, and the cycle would repeat. An image of his dream woman etched in his memory for the entire day.

He often wondered what she did or would sound like, and who she was. He could never hear her in his dreams although her lips moved her voice never produced a sound. He could see her smile now as clear as he could see her blue eyes. She had different smiles, playful, sexy, confused, happy, and a smile he felt was saved just for him- a mere satisfied grin in which a spark would ignite in her blue eyes, and her glowing embers danced a dance as old as time.

It had come to the point where he sensed Hannah wanted more, and if this dream woman didn't come to him every night so consistently he would make an advance on her. Though, call it a gut feeling he didn't know, but the blue eyed brunette was something-had to mean something, the woman in his dreams. Call him crazy, but...but...he didn't know, he just knew what he felt at night it was real...God, he hoped she was real.

Hannah stare at Booth who was now in a deep sleep. She heard the lap top make a noise and curiously opened it. No one had been on it since she had opened it last, it was another message from the same person, Bones. Who was she? She must be important, and Hannah thought maybe shouldn't make any advances on Seeley. The right thing to do would probably be to tell him about this 'Bones' person and the messages he was receiving from her. She glanced at this one scanning it.

_Booth,_

_If you have access to a computer you are probably busy. Even if you are not I just had to tell you I miss you Booth, and I...I'm scared all the time for you. I thought about you a lot last night, I had a dream about you, it wasn't a good dream. I wished you were there to hold me like you held me before you left when I woke from it. Instead I woke to Daisy's concerned voice, she asked if I was able to write you and I told here I was although I obviously don't know if you are able to receive what I have written._

_After I woke her accidentally from my nightmare Daisy fell back to sleep easily, but I couldn't. So I went outside and sat by a fire that everyone had ate dinner by earlier that night. I don't know why but the fire, it's warmth and the silence of the night filled with only the noise of crackling dancing flames comforted me. I don't understand why something as simple as a fire could give comfort when it's not even cold at night here. I do understand that I don't like being apart from you. I don't like us on opposite ends of the earth and I miss you Booth._

_Love,_

_Bones_

Hannah thought about it as she closed the lap top. The letter was sincere and heart felt, it was sad is what it was. Though, she was here and Bones was not and Seeley didn't seem to remember her. Hannah felt horrid for thinking such a thought. She closed her eyes trying to forget about the letter and it's content, to forget this Bones person was hard to do.

Booth was restless dreaming as Bones blue eyes stared back into his. She cocked her head at him and smiled a bright smile. In his dream, they were in a restaurant the atmosphere was that of a laid back bar atmosphere. He clinked glasses with her and she continue to stare at him as if she were going to kiss him. A voice ended the dream, and just like that Bones faded away as he woke groggily.

"Seeley, big breakfast this morning come on." Hannah said.

_When your dreaming with a broken heart...The waking up is the hardest part _  
><em> You roll outta bed and down on your knees <em>  
><em> And for a moment you can hardly breathe <em>  
><em> Wondering was she really here? <em>  
><em> Is she standing in my room? <em>  
><em> No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...<em>

"Huh?" Booth asked Bones face still fresh in his memory, his mind racing with images of her from last night. He would dream so much he wondered if it was caused by the pain medication he was on sometimes. Nights were restless.

"Get up, let's go." Hannah extended her hand and Booth took it as she pulled him up and looked him in the eyes. She smiled a bright smile her hair messy falling around her face, it was so long, she was a very pretty woman. Her light blue eyes lit up and her hand in his they walked out of the tent.

"Hey Sarge!" Adams yelled along with Matthews as Booth smiled at them he scanned the crowed while Hannah found two empty seats among the guys. Booth sat opposite of her and Matthews nudged Booth suggestively nodding in Hannah's direction.

"Hey, hey Sarge?" Matthews said checking Hannah out. Though, Booth said nothing in return, his mind elsewhere.

Throughout the quick breakfast and conversation to follow Booth had only offered up a few words and answered questions. He never tried to start a conversation but was in another world, his own silent reverie. Adams and Matthews left leaving Booth and Hannah alone once more. Hannah seemed restless.

"Are you okay Seeley?" Hannah wondered.

"Yeah, yes I'm fine. I'm fine, sorry just day dreaming." Booth said honestly.

Hannah nod yes a silent okay and I don't believe you all in one.

"Seeley, you know you can talk to me." Hannah's voice for the first time was not filled with the strong confidence he was use too, instead her voice was hesitant almost nervous of the answer she would receive.

Booth only stare at her a moment trying to gather his thoughts quickly.

Hannah filled the long silence, "I mean it's not like we haven't talked about everything under the sun and more for the past week and a half." Hannah shot him a smile trying to ease the tension she felt.

Though, her words only triggered a memory...the sun? The sun? An image of the blue eyed brunette sitting on a bench next to him flashed through his mind, but why? It was on the tip of his tongue. Though, what was the dream woman saying to him? Her eyes were so full of pent up emotion? He saw her lips move even in the middle of the day, though he knew not what she said only that it meant something. Whenever he saw her it meant something. _She _was something, day dreams or in the unconscious world she always delivered warmth, passion, a sense of security and belonging . She had to be real, was she his girl friend? Oh God what if she was his wife? That question made him inhale sharply.

"Seeley, are you sure you are okay?" Hannah asked again this time a bit more concerned her voice soothing.

Booth started to speak but then closed his mouth. "I said I was fine Hannah, and you said we could talk, right?"

"Of course." she said in a uplifted voice.

"I have to be honest with you Hannah, I'm not fine. I have reoccurring dreams, it's about a woman. I don't know who she is only that I can't forget her, her face haunts me throughout the night. I have trouble sleeping because of the dreams. They are so real, have you ever had a dream so real you didn't know whether you were awake or asleep?" Booth asked.

Hannah had an idea who the woman was and instinctively pulled back inhaling a breath. She nodded yes answering his question.

"I can't figure out if she is real or if she is a figment of my imagination. I have no recollection of her, I need time to figure these dreams out. Sleeping pills or something, I don't know." Booth said rubbing his face.

"Maybe ask the doc for some sleeping pills." Hannah said not mentioning the letters she had read. She felt a pang of guilt because of it too, it was wrong and she usually didn't do such things.

Booth nod, "Yeah, maybe."

Night had come and Booth knew what was to come with it, the doc had given him pills and he stared at them a moment then decided he didn't want to not see his dream woman tonight. He tossed a pill in the port a potty and then lay in his rack.

"Seeley?" Hannah's voice was soothing and he hadn't yet fallen asleep so he turned over to look at her.

"Hhmm?"

"Did you take the pills?"

Booth nod yes.

"I hope you sleep better tonight." she said reaching across and grabbing his hand giving it a gentle squeeze. "It will be okay, you will be okay." she soothed.

He smiled at Hannah, smiled because he would sleep good, because night was the best part of his twenty four hour day. Night was when he fell into his dream world and sure enough there she was, his dream woman. They were sitting in the dark on a bed, she was crying they both were sad, this was not a good dream. It was one of those dreams where you watched what was happening, as if he was on the television acting out a chapter in his life.

He watched as the dream women clung to him and whispered something, she lay on his chest murmuring two words. He tried to make them out _"not..."_ Not what, he wondered? What did she not want? He said something back and then the moment was gone. Now he watch the reoccurring airport dream, watched as he took her hand in his and her glossy eyes stare into his longingly. Then as soon as she was there her hand in his, she was gone. The inevitable dawn waking him.

"Good morning Seeley. Did you sleep better last night?" Hannah asked hoping the pills had worked.

Booth nod yes, he couldn't admit he didn't take the pills because he had become addicted to his dreams, he didn't want them to end. Bring on the restless nights if it meant he could see his mysterious dream woman.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart _  
><em> The giving up is the hardest part <em>  
><em> She takes you in with her crying eyes <em>  
><em> Then all at once you have to say goodbye <em>  
><em> Wondering could you stay my love? <em>  
><em> Will you wake up by my side? <em>  
><em> No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...<em>

Brennan was falling asleep but before she drifted off she checked her computer holding out hope for a message from Booth. She sighed inwardly, and glanced around her room. Her eyes settled on Daisy and she found herself jealous of how easy Ms. Wick fell asleep. Brennan knew it would be hours until she fell asleep and when she finally did, it would not be a deep slumber but a restless night full endless dreams. She glanced at the computers empty inbox once more and then set it down laying back in her bed. What did she have to do to get in contact with him? Did he have access to a computer or was he just to busy? Her mind raced, she was right, sleep would not come easy.

_Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands _  
><em> Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? <em>  
><em> Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? <em>  
><em> Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands? <em>

_ Would you get them if i did? _  
><em> No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...<em>

Rogers, Booth and Hannah walked along together when the CO (commanding officer) called Hannah over to him. Rogers and Booth paused momentarily and then continued as they saw she was being directed to speak with someone else. Neither men questioned it, there was no 'why' in the military. You became accustom to just letting things play out and keeping quiet.

Rogers scrunched his nose at a smell and both men looked to a dead animal corpse. "Damn feral dogs, they are everywhere. Looks like that guy is nothing but a bag of bones now, eh Sarge?"

Booth stopped and Rogers looked at him oddly as his expression was that of shock. "It's Bones, Oh God...Bones."

"Yeah, they are just dog's bones Sarge."

"The woman in my dreams, the woman _of_ my dreams. She's real! I know who...never mind." He gave Rogers a quick guy hug patting him on the back "Thanks I owe you Rogers." then he turned around and started back to leatherneck where the computer was. Rogers stood dumbfounded as he watched Booth walk away. Hannah walked up to Rogers.

"Where did Sergeant Booth go?" she asked.

"I don't know I said something about bones and he wigged out." Rogers said shrugging his shoulders as Hannah processed the information. He had remembered, now what?

On his way back, reality smacked Booth in the face snapping him out of it as memories of her_ of them_ flooded his mind. He remembered what she had said in that dark room, _his room_ before he left as she cried and they made love. She said _not tonight_, she didn't want him to leave that night.".._.ten more minutes Booth."_, she had whispered in the early morning as the alarm woke them both. A sad reminder of the events the day was to bring and the goodbyes it would hold.

Booth thought if his mornings were dreaded before he knew the mystery woman in his dreams, was actually, the woman _of_ his dreams. If they were dreaded before he knew she was real, and even before he remembered being with her. He could not begin to fathom what tomorrow morning would feel like. He just knew one thing for sure, he was here and she was not and that's all there was to it. _"... just hold me ten more minutes Booth."_

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart _  
><em> The waking up is the hardest part<em>...

* * *

><p>Dreaming With A Broken Heart- John Mayer. I still have the whole Hannah and opening his messages thing to see too. I don't know, I wouldn't like that and I'm seeing how I will handle it. Also, I feel as if I'm leaving Bren out a bit so I will get more' into' the story in a bit. I know first hand what it feels like to wait on that overseas message and to figure out how to set up skype etc. Hope you like it thus far.<p> 


	10. Somewhere Out There

_Somewhere Out There_ by Juan Piaggio and Daniella Limeka from "An American Tale"

It was one am and tonight Brennan knew it was a full moon. After Ms. Wick had fallen asleep and she had checked her inbox for any messages it had become a bit of a habit to quietly sneak outside and tonight was no exception. it was nice to be alone, just she, the noise of the fire, and the night. Now as Brennan sit outside on a large log and poke at the fire under the full moon her mind as always raced with thoughts of him. Whenever she was alone, hell even when she wasn't she thought of him. No matter how hard she tried to busy her mind with work and the dig it always came back to one thing, him.

She grabbed a stick to stoke the fire with, the same stick she used last night. She poked it and watched as the flames grew and the sparks danced popping and crackling like they did every night. The warmth the fire would emit was always comforting and it relaxed her allowing her to unwrap her arms from around her, hugging herself and set her hands on either side of her. She set the stick down and looked up to the moon, it was so large, well obviously it would be it was a full moon tonight.

Though, there was something about it and the glow that the moon put off was magnificent. She didn't know what was so special about it she had seen full moons before, but this one was beautiful. For some reason it mad her sad, yet she couldn't tear her eyes from it. So she sat under the moonlight staring at it, as the fire crackled and sparks danced. A dance, she had found a dance. She smiled as she thought of him sitting across from her in Wong Foo's making a wish for her. A wish that she find love, happiness, and a dance.

_Somewhere out there_  
><em>Beneath the pale moonlight<em>  
><em>Someone's thinking of me<em>  
><em>And loving me tonight<em>

He could hear her voice clearly now, _"...just hold me ten more minutes Booth."_ He remembered her glossy eyes looking up into his as her head rest on his chest, her hair fanned out a mess. He smiled down at her and pulled her closer to him almost on top of him. He wrapped his arm around her holding her tight to him while rubbing her back with a light smiled that smile that was reserved just for him as he tucked some of her hair behind her ear. The two lay in silence just enjoying each other and trying to forget that in less than an hour they would be parting from each other for a year.

Booth wanted to sleep so badly but at the same time he didn't dare shut his eyes because he knew he would see her in his dreams and how hard it would be to wake from what was only a dream. So he sat alone on his rack and stare at the bottle of sleeping pills next to him. He chuckled at the thought of taking one and then wondered where in the world Hannah was this late at night. He glanced at the lap top on the end of her rack.

He picked up the lap top vaguely remembering that he had received a message from Bones, he wanted to read it again. He opened the lap top only to discover that he had received another message from her. It was evident the message had been opened already but he didn't care, he only cared he had received one and quickly read it. Her message left him with a burning sensation in his chest and a tingling feeling in his throat. She was scared for him, all of the time. He wished she wouldn't be, wished he could take all of her fears away. He needed to write her and knew she was waiting on a message from him. He started a whole new letter, praying to God it would ease some of her fears. That she would stop having nightmares and that they would see each other soon.

_Bones,_

_Please don't worry about me, I'm okay. I'm sorry to hear about your dreams, I wish you wouldn't have bad dreams. So, Daisy and you share a room, how is that working out for you? Hopefully she and you are getting along and her chatter isn't too annoying, remember she means well. I have dreams too Bones, but they aren't bad dreams. At night images and memories so real, so very real visit me. I dream of you Bones, of you and me. They are more of memories than dreams, memories that come to me in flashes which I get to relive every night._

_Though, I often dream of saying goodbye at the airport, that is my bad dream. Though, the worst part of my dreams, of night is the inevitable morning because I know I will have to wake up and I won't see you. I realize suddenly you aren't with me but thousands of miles away in another land. I never thought waking up would be so hard. I remember the night before I left when you wanted to stay in bed just ten more minutes, ten more. That's how I feel every morning. I pray to God to let me fall back to sleep, to just give me ten more minutes, ten more._

_Sorry I took so long to get back to you I had some stuff going on and couldn't use the computer. Just know every night I think of you. Oh, you know what else? It's actually kind of funny, seeing as how you said you went out and sat by a fire the other night. Well guess what? The other night some of my guys had a fire going and just as the fire in Maluku brought you comfort, the fire here I had to stop and watch the flames dance and the sparks snap and crackle, it was captivating. I know you tell me to be safe and are scared for me, but please take care of yourself Bones. I love you and God...God I'm glad you realize that. I pray you always will. Until next time._

_Love always,_

_Booth_

_Somewhere out there_  
><em>Someone's saying a prayer<em>  
><em>That we'll find one another<em>  
><em>In that big somewhere out there<em>

Brennan tore her eyes from the moon but now they settle on a lone star, it was as bright as a planet, but she knew it was not one. She had done well in astrology and knew it was what people referred to as the Northern star. She thought about it for a few seconds, she knew wishes were irrational and knew that making one did not mean it would come true. It was highly unlikely, though Booth had made a wish she find love, happiness and a dance. And Agung the native boy she had met on the beach had told her that wishing on the brightest star was good, she needed too. She contemplated a moment, it's not like anyone would hear here make it, not like anyone would ever know. So she looked at the star closed her eyes and wished, wished that before she went to bed tonight she would receive a message from Booth. She felt silly when she opened her eyes.

Booth sent her the message, but still couldn't fall asleep. Hannah must have thought he was sleeping when she came in and fell asleep because she had never said a word. Now she was fast asleep. Booth got up and walked out into the night, he didn't wander far just a few feet outside his makeshift house where he slept at night. Because that's all it was, a house not a home, home was thousands of miles away on an island called Maluku. Booth noticed the full moon and couldn't take his eyes from it, they wandered to a star. He smiled and made a wish. A wish that Bones would get his message soon and that it would somehow help to ease her fears.

_And even though I know_  
><em>how very far apart we are<em>  
><em>It helps to think<em>  
><em>we might be wishing<em>  
><em>on the same bright star<em>

The fire started to die down a bit and it made a lot less noise. Brennan tore her gaze from the sky to the fire and picked up the stick, although she found she didn't need it as she heard trees rustle and smelled the sea breeze blowing throughout the camp. The fire caught the oxygen of the wind and picked back up again as Brennan stared at it while it ignited the sparks reflected in her eyes, dancing. She inhale and absentmindedly wrapped her arms around her even though it wasn't cold. Inhaling she stood looked up into the nights sky once more and walked inside.

The moon was captivating as Booth stare at it he wondered how she was and what she was doing at this exact moment? He knew it was daytime over there, but he wondered if she had seen the moon just as he had tonight. He hoped she had, it was a beautiful full moon. He inhaled and exhaled, he could hear the tent starting to whip and blow in one of those sudden gusts of wind that would come up out of no where. He knew the sand would follow soon and looked up to the moon one last time smiling a sad smile as he walked back inside.

_And when the night wind_  
><em>starts to sing a lonesome lullaby<em>  
><em>It helps to think<em>  
><em>we're sleeping underneath<em>  
><em>the same big sky<em>

Brennan sat down on her bed opening her lap top and checked her inbox, she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face, a smile that showed teeth. At the top of many other messages was one she had wished for, Booth's. She opened it her eyes reading it quickly as she laughed to herself at his Daisy comment and smiled when he said he wished she didn't have bad dreams and again when he said he would dream of her every night. Though, her smile faded hearing him mention their first and last night together and that he prayed she would always realize he loved her. His prayer, though she didn't believe in them made her a bit sad.

Though, maybe she needed to see it in writing, to realize that just maybe love could be transcendent, eternal, real and most importantly forever. For, while it was a fact that everything changes, just maybe there was one thing that remained the same. If it was real and if it was true, if it wasn't mistaken for lust. Maybe he was right...dare she let the thought enter her mind. That just maybe, _"...every once in a while…every once in a while, two people meet and there's that spark, and, yes, Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love…making love…that's when two people become one."  
><em>

Knowing that made her smile return as she re-read his letter and started to write back. Her wish had come true, and his wish for her had come true. She didn't want to send her letter just yet, she needed to re-read what she had written and really think about what he had said to her. In one sentence he had made her contemplate her beliefs. His words haunting her as she lay in bed, "I pray you always will." She felt she could, that she would. She had no intent on ever marrying him, but it was as if a switch was flicked and the person she had looked at as a best friend and more was now the only person she could ever imagine herself with. She fell asleep, fell into a dream world a world where there was no bad dreams only comfort, security and love.

_Somewhere out there...If love can see us through_  
><em>Then we'll be together<em>  
><em>Somewhere out there<em>  
><em>Out where dreams come true<em>

Brennan fell asleep, and the person she saw was not Booth, but the young native Agung. She opened the door and stepped outside the fire burning begging her to bring it back to life, she walked over to it a moth to a flame picked up the stick and did so watching as flames danced. Setting down the stick she walked over toward Agung who stood by the edge of the trees in wait. Suddenly, she found herself on the beach Agung pointed upward to the sky the full moon's glow bathed the two in light. The waves sparkled under it's light. "Bing-tang" said Agung, meaning star. Brennan understood and closed her eyes.

When she opened them Agung was no longer beside her and she was no longer on the beach but sitting in Sweets office on his couch. She looked to her right and Booth was beside her, he was saying something to her in her dream but his words were hard to understand. Though, the words had been etched into her memory when he said them that night. In the dream she took his hand in hers, she hadn't done that before as he explained the law of physics to her. She didn't want to wake up.

_And even though I know_  
><em>how very far apart we are<em>  
><em>It helps to think<em>  
><em>we might be wishing<em>  
><em>on the same bright star<em>

Booth roll over falling into another world, a world he never wanted to leave. He smiled as he watched himself walk over and pick up a cd of hers he said something to her and she smiled her embarrassed smile, covering it with laughter. He watched as he stuck the cd in her cd player and pressed play, watched as he started to play the air guitar and she danced along with him scrunching her nose smiling and laughing as they sang "Hot Blooded" together. He watched her answer the phone plugging her ear and speaking loudly into it and then he wasn't there anymore. He suddenly found himself in a desert with birds flying overhead, the wind whipping around hard, blowing his tie around and her ponytail. Then he was in a room waiting on someone. She walked out in a little black dress. They weren't in D.C so where were they? Vegas! That's right, they were undercover in Vegas. He rolled over and called out her name a whisper on his lips.

"Bones? Bones..." The name became a mantra that had woke Hannah. She watch half intrigued by the love he must have for this Bones woman and half disappointed as she began to realize while she was here with him and Bones was not. It didn't make a difference, not one damn difference. For while she was here physically, Bones was with him all of the time. They shared a burden called love together. He wasn't just fighting this war, but the war called love as well. Hannah looked down as he murmured Bones' nickname again, and Hannah thought maybe in this particular instance that all was not fair in love and war, _but then again maybe it was._ She flipped over ignoring his words and fell back to sleep.

_And when the night wind_  
><em>starts to sing a lonesome lullaby<em>  
><em>It helps to think<em>  
><em>we're sleeping underneath<em>  
><em>the same big sky<em>

Brennan toss as her dream continued, she was at the point where she was half awake, yet still dreaming. She found herself back in the bar, she couldn't remember it's name. He was sitting beside her speaking his lips moving and his words silent. Though, she knew what he was saying as the words faded in an out almost as if she was hearing someone speak on a Sat phone stat-icky and delayed at times. She cocked her head listening to him, _"Your better than Smurfette, Smurfette was a shallow smurf who only had her looks. You have your looks and a whole lot more."_ She watched as she smiled and the two lock eyes holding a silent conversation. Then she woke up and just like that he was no longer in front of her and she looked to see Ms. Wick get up and walk toward the restroom while stretching and yawning. Brennan frowned wondering exactly how many more days until her dreams became a reality once more.

_Somewhere out there_  
><em>If love can see us through<em>...  
><em>Then we'll be together<em>  
><em>Somewhere out there<em>  
><em>Out where dreams come true...<em>

* * *

><p><em>I hope you liked it, in the next chap I promise I will delve deeper into matters. Actually, I don't promise because I don't know if I can really keep it as my muse seems to take me where it feels. Though, I do believe I have actually returned to this story for good. I intended it to only be a one-shot ha! This song is from the cutest movie and when the little mouse dings it it's so sad. Anyway, next chap is one of or maybe my favorite song out there :) Do you guys actually enjoy the songs because I sure as heck do ha ;)<br>_


	11. Headlights In The Sky

Not the fav song like I said I was going to do and yes my muse took me down some unknown path...it is what it is. Hope it's not too horrid.

For the past few nights Daisy heard Dr. Brennan leave their room. Brennan would wait until she thought Daisy was asleep, then she would kick off the covers and walk outside shutting the door quietly behind her. Tonight Dr. Brennan had just returned from her shower and was sitting on her bed as Daisy sifted through e-mails on her lap top.

"Um, Dr. Brennan I heard you go outside the other night. I was just wondering if everything is okay?" She didn't ask where she went because she didn't expect an answer.

Brennan looked at her odd. "Everything is fine Ms. Wick. If you ever expect to make a decent anthropologist it would be much wiser for you to actually stay focused on the dig and not my personal life."

With that Brennan crawled under her covers and turned away from her. Daisy said something else, but received no response so she went back to reading Lance's letter. After an hour Brennan went about her regular routine of checking her mail and then waiting to make sure Daisy was asleep. She wasn't and it wasn't long until Daisy heard Brennan kick off her covers and pad lightly toward the door. Daisy could feel Brennan's eyes on her, checking to see if she was asleep before she disappeared into the night.

Daisy laid in bed for a bit and when she was sure Dr. Brennan wasn't coming back in she kicked off her own covers and opened the door to see where Dr. Brennan went every night. She didn't have to go far to find out. Daisy inhaled and stood silently outside their door just watching her. Overcome with wonder and maybe empathy she wondered if she should go up to her?

What she saw was Brennan sitting on a large log next to the fire Daisy and most of their co-workers ate dinner by every night. She had a stick in her hand and she poked the embers every now and then, stoking it and keeping it alive. The flames grew and once she was satisfied with the dancing flames she got off the log and sat in front of it leaning her back against it. Daisy looked on as Brennan rested her head back against the log and looked up at the night's sky, sighing loudly. At her action Daisy couldn't help but look up at the nights sky herself. It was a beautiful night and there were so many stars, one could see them so very clearly.

Daisy looked at Dr. Brennan the fires glow reflecting on her face so that she could see the doctor's eyes were glossy. A single tear snuck it's way out the corner of Brennan's eye and rolled down her face. A face that didn't seem to notice the tear that fell as it stare up into space. Daisy watched as the tear made a track that glistened because of the fire. It rolled down the side of her face and onto her neck evaporating.

As the scene in front of Daisy played out her suspicions for the reason Dr. Brennan had been lashing out more frequently at co-workers was confirmed. Daisy spoke a lot, but, it didn't take a quiet observer to figure out that Dr. Brennan's mood shift was due because of Agent Booth's deployment. Anyone could figure that out, dummy, genius or chatty Kathy.

Daisy looked back up to the sky then looked back to Brennan. Daisy wondered if she should go up to her? Though, crying, Brennan looked content to be alone. Though, Daisy couldn't help but wonder what if she did want someone to talk too? Daisy also wondered if she ever got in touch with Agent Booth? She sighed a heavy sigh full of empathy for Brennan while she contemplated weather to go up to her or stay put.

_Well she counts headlights in the sky and she knows just where I am, well she counts time by the moon that time that won't forgive so she writes letters to the president when it feels good to be alone, yeah come on..._

Brennan stoked the fire and wondered what Booth was doing? Was he safe? How were his friends and were his friends okay? What were his living conditions like? Was he thinking about her at this same moment she was thinking of him? What had happened throughout his day today? Did he really know how she felt about him? Would he be able to write her tonight? Would she ever be able to speak to him? She exhaled her body heavy full of emotion, a weight that was not going to be lifted and fly her away, no. Not until she heard for him. So for now she sat in wait as the fire gave her comfort.

_ Well she takes a train that's on a different skies, and she knows just where she is and if the sky should fall upon us, then let the oceans save our breath, and I know just where you been... oh, she's counting all the headlights in the sky, I'm waiting for something to crash into my life..._

Daisy was still standing outside studying Dr. Brennan, her back still against the large log her head still resting against it. For a moment Daisy saw Brennan, without her doctorate. Just a person missing another and trying to get by one day at a time. A person who cried, missed and was in love. A person who hurt just like everyone else and didn't understand how to cope with such an overwhelming emotion rationally.

For, there was no rational way to cope with missing a loved one who was in a war zone. If counting stars by the comfort of a camp fire at night helped to cope, then it was rational. There is no logic in love. Daisy sighed and suddenly found herself walking toward Dr. Brennan.

_ She's counting all the headlights in the sky... headlights in the sky yeah..._

Brennan poked at the fire as her mind raced. She took out her cell and dialed the number Booth had given her before he left. She licked her lips anxious only to receive some recording in Hawaii about something or other. All she knew is the line was obviously closed to her. She needed that number, she needed to hear his voice. God did she miss it, miss him. She heard a noise and in one motion her head snapped up looking behind her. Crystal blue eyes met familiar brown ones, and not the familiar brown eyes she wished to see.

Silence linger as the two women stared at one another. Brennan finally broke it. "What are you doing here?" Brennan glared at Daisy.

"I woke and came outside by the fire."

Brennan looked away for a second and Daisy quickly walked to the end of the log and sat down upon it. Brennan was still sitting on the ground although she no longer rest against the log, but stare defensively at Daisy. Brennan inhaled and exhaled her guard now up. "Did you follow me here?"

Daisy lied a bit better then Brennan and even if she didn't Dr. Brennan wasn't the best at reading people. "No, I just came outside to sit by the fire. I couldn't sleep and by chance you happened to be here is well. Booth would say that was fate Dr. Brennan." Daisy said knowing Booth believed in such things Brennan had simply said so herself in front of everyone as she assured Booth while he may believe in it she did not.

Brennan didn't want to talk of Booth, especially with Daisy of all people. "Stop talking please."

Silence linger for a bit, but it was Daisy and she couldn't stay quiet forever. "It's nice out tonight. The stars are pretty."

"Yes they are." Brennan said a bit curt.

"We should each pick a star and make a wish on it." Daisy offered.

"Would you please just stop speaking Ms. Wick." said Brennan as she thought of her latest wish on a star, for him to keep safe and to please get in touch with her again soon.

Daisy felt a bit hurt by Brennan's words, but she was use to them, especially as of lately. She knew Brennan was guarded, knew it was rare she had caught her with her guard down and saw the tear that slipped out of her eye and rolled down her cheek. Booth's deployment had changed Dr. Brennan and unbeknownst to her the change was taking a toll on her co-workers as well. Daisy had started to here the comments about Brennan amongst her co-workers. If they only knew.

Brennan looked down at the dirt and then back up into Daisy's eyes. She exhaled her voice soft, "People here don't like me do they?"

Daisy was surprised at Brennan's question. She was unprepared to give an answer. "They do." Daisy said her voice full of hope.

"Please don't lie to me." Brennan said.

"It's just..."

"Just what?" Brennan asked.

"Lately you have been kind of short with everyone. It's okay, I understand you are under a lot of stress. I understand you miss and love Agent Booth and how hard it must be to be away from him. I miss my Lancelot too." Daisy tried to reassure Brennan of her behavior.

Brennan stood up quickly glaring at Daisy, her voice lowered when she spoke. "You will never understand Ms. Wick! Booth is in a war-zone he is not home in D.C. Do not say you understand something you clearly can not comprehend." Brennan turned and walked away toward their hut.

"Dr. Brennan, wait." Daisy called out, but her calls went ignored. So, she stood and walked after Brennan grabbing her by the arm. Brennan turned around quickly and Daisy drew back a moment. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right I don't know."

"I need time alone." was all Brennan could manage as she walked up the few stairs to their hut, but Daisy wasn't done speaking.

"Everything will be okay eventually Dr. Brennan." Daisy said and Brennan could hear Booth's voice clearly as he put his arm around her and they walked on a dock away from Sully and back home. _"Everything eventually Bones, you just gotta wait for it."_ Booth had said. Brennan didn't know why but she just wanted to cry she swallowed the emotion down locking it away.

Brennan's eyes met Daisy's and she nodded a small nod yes. Daisy sighed as she watched the door to their hut shut behind Dr. Brennan and then inhaled looking up to the stars.

_Well I've saw bitterness and I've heard rain, and the stars came home today, well some say change is all or nothing but i don't see it at all today, and I know just where you been... lock it up throw away the key, patch it up like your broken dreams and I said I can't help but falling .. oh, no..no..._

Brennan sat on her bed, grabbed the lap top and opened her inbox. A message.

_Bones, _

_This has to be short, but I just wanted to let you know I love you. The guys found a dog today and asked me to name it. I named him Jasper after that silly pig that you always wanted. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and tell you I love you Bones._

_Love,_

_Booth_

She closed the lap top and lay it on the ground. Sitting on her bed she remembered his words and a tiny smile graced her lips. Slowly her smile turned to a frown and her eyes shut as she let her head fall back. Overwhelmed with grief and a heavy heart, her emotions finally won the battle within and she broke. Her walls crumbled to the floor and racking sobs filled the room as she cried into her pillow soaking it.

As helpless as a newborn child, Brennan lay immobilized with grief and a heavy heart. All she could do was wait until sleep took her and pray to a God she didn't believe in that Booth would meet her in her dreams.

_...Yeah, shes counting all the headlights in the sky, I'm waiting for something to crash into my life she's counting all the headlights in the sky, I'm waiting for something to crash into my life, she's counting all the headlights in the sky, headlights in the sky...yeah...headlights in the sky whoah.._.

* * *

><p>I don't like this chapter and this is not my 'favorite song' that I was going to do either. Anyway, it it what it is. At least the song is good ha<p> 


	12. Uninvited

Booth wondered what Bones was doing tonight? Eighteen hours, they were separated by an eighteen hour time difference, and so much more. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard someone calling him.

Daisy walked in late to find Brennan curled up in bed sleeping in the clothes from the day before. Her face was tear stained as she clutched her pillow tight, escaping reality to her dream world. Daisy covered her with a blanket and changed into pajamas going to sleep herself. She smiled a sad smile at Brennan's sleeping form because Brennan was smiling and Daisy had an idea as to why. Too bad the sun would rise soon waking her from her dreams, dreams where Brennan would leave her smile behind.

"Sergeant Major, the CO wants to talk to you." Rogers said and Booth nodded walking toward Wilson. He had an idea at what Wilson was going to say, his temporary medical discharge was most likely terminated. He had already been deemed healthy to return to his squadron and Wilson probably wanted him to return to as their Sergeant Major.

"Sergeant Major Booth."

"Sir?"

"You're to leave leatherneck tomorrow to join CO A 1st platoon as their Sergeant Major." Wilson said

"Yes Sir." said Booth and with that Wilson walked away. Booth ran his hand through his short hair, he was going back.

Evening came and Booth and a few of his boots were eating dinner. Hannah walked up to them sitting down she joined in on their conversation. The men glanced at Booth every now and then wondering if there was anything going on between the journalist and Sergeant Major Booth. Dinner was uneventful and soon it was just Booth and Hannah. Silence linger, Hannah had heard him mumbling more at night talking in his sleep about Bones and Booth had distance himself from the woman that would not leave him alone.

Hannah smiled her thousand watt smile at him. "Seeley, do you know you talk in your sleep?" she smiled and Booth continued to eat half minding what she said.

"I've been told I have before." Booth said remembering when Rebecca had told him before.

Hannah nod, "You have been mumbling about bones for the past week and a half."

Booth's eyes met Hannah's at the mention of Bone's name. "What do I say?"

"Stay or wait, but mostly you just mumble the word bones." Hannah smiled chuckling a fake laugh as if she found him dreaming of skeletons funny, she didn't. For she knew he wasn't dreaming of skeletons and bones was a person, a person he was in love with.

Booth didn't laugh and Hannah put her hand on his, Booth retracted it and Hannah cocked her head just a bit in wonder as why he had done it. Even if she already knew why he had retracted his hand.

_Like anyone would be  
>I am flattered by your fascination with me<br>Like any hot blooded woman  
>You have simply wanted an object to crave<br>But you, you're not allowed  
>You're uninvited<br>An unfortunate slight_

Hannah sighed and leaned back in her chair a look of defeat crossed her face. "The Bones you dream of at night, they aren't skeletons are they? It's a woman whom you call Bones."

Booth looked at Hannah odd, "Why would you think that?"

"I don't think it Seeley. I...I'm sorry, but the lap top was open and I was bored. It was when we first arrived to leatherneck and...I'm sorry, it was open and..."

Booth wasn't surprised, but more amused and a bit angry at the news. "...and so you read a message that was not meant for you."

"Yes, I'm sorry Seeley. I really am, I didn't know and the lap top was open."

"Yes it was open, but my inbox was not. Someone had to open my mail and that someone was you Hannah." Booth shook his head back and forth setting his plastic utensils on his plate.

"I'm sorry Seeley. I know she loves you very much this Bones person. Anyone can tell by her messages she loves you. That you two have something special. Again I'm sorry, what I did was wrong and I apologize for it." Hannah said her eyes full of sorrow and regret as she looked into Booth's eyes.

Booth leaned in toward Hannah as he did to suspects in the interrogation room back home. "You said messages, plural. You have read more than one?" Booth was a bit surprised at this news. Hannah looked ashamed, a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Hannah shifted in her chair a bit uncomfortable this conversation was not going as planned. Mentioning his dreams, this dream women had suddenly turned into a nightmare for her. "Well?"

She nodded quietly yes. Her eyes fell from his to her plate, she couldn't look at him. Not after he knew of what she had done.

Booth thought a moment, she had known of Bones from day one and he had confided in her about his dreams. Hannah told him to take some sleeping pills, she said nothing of his e-mails. "So let me get this straight, you knew of Bones since day one and when I told you about the woman that visited me in my dreams instead of trying to jog my memory you told me to take sleeping pills?"

Hannah started to rub her thumb nervously under Booth's questioning, she knew what she did was wrong. Why she confessed to him that she had done it was because she thought honesty a good thing and felt she could be forgiven.

_Must be strangely exciting_  
><em>To watch the stoic squirm<em>  
><em>Must be somewhat heartening<em>  
><em>To watch shepard meet shepard<em>  
><em>But you, you're not allowed<em>  
><em>You're uninvited<em>  
><em>An unfortunate slight<em>

"Sorry." Hannah mumbled again her eyes meeting his.

"Oh don't worry it's no big deal." Booth said sarcastically. "You only read extremely personal e-mails and denied me of my memories by telling me to take sleeping pills. You heard me mumble Bones in my sleep and you knew Bones was a person. Worst yet, you did it all for your own benefit, maybe if I forgot about the dream woman then you might have a chance. I ight give you a chance. Yeah, no worries it's no big deal." said Booth and silence linger between the two. "Come on Hannah, really?"

"I know I'm sorry. I know you love her and she loves you deeply it is obvious you have been in love a long time and what I did was wrong." said Hannah

"Damn straight it was wrong." said Booth and Hannah glanced to her left avoiding his eyes again. "You can't even look me in the eyes." Booth sighed inwardly as he shook his head chuckling a soft laugh in disbelief of all that Hannah had just revealed to him.

_Like any uncharted territory_  
><em>I must seem greatly intriguing<em>  
><em>You speak of my love like<em>  
><em>You have experienced love like mine before<em>  
><em>But this is not allowed<em>  
><em>You're uninvited<em>  
><em>An unfortunate slight<em>

"You hate me don't you?" Hannah looked up into Booth's eyes.

Booth frowned at her and exhaled, "No, I don't hate you. That's a strong word Hannah, I hate what you did and I wish it never happened. Though, it did and I have to say I'm glad I'm leaving leatherneck tomorrow. It would be slightly awkward, more for you than me, to be around each other after everything you just told me." said Both standing paper plate in hand he walked over to the garbage can and threw it away.

"Seeley?" Hannah called and Booth stopped as he was walking past Hannah who sat alone at the table now.

"Hhmm?"

"You're a good man. Stay safe, okay?"

"You too, night Hannah."

"Night Seeley, guess this is bye after all, you are leaving tomorrow."

Booth nod yes. "Bye Hannah."

_I don't think you unworthy_  
><em>I need a moment to deliberate...<em>

Hannah sat alone at the large table. Her head in her hand, elbow on the table she stared off into a no where. Grabbing her water bottle she started to twist the cap off and on as she sat thinking of what she had lost or more accurately what she never had. Her moment had come and gone, though realistically she knew they never had a moment. Not as long as the sun set to rise.

* * *

><p>Uninvited By Alanise Morissette I changed one words in the first verse to make it a bit more fitting. The words in parentheses are the actual word used-<em>Like any hot blooded woman You (I) have simply wanted an object to crave<em>... I guess I will just let you know when I use my "favorite song." Hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving ") I had to leave Hannah sitting at the table alone because one of the worst scenes in season 6 was when Booth and Hannah left Bren all alone at the Founding Fathers. While, Toby Lightman's song _Everyday_ played in the background. Also, I have nothing against Hannah. Why would anyone? She didn't do anything mean or hurtful to anyone except turn him down and it's better to be turned down then go through a divorce later on because one agreed to something that one isn't sure of.


	13. Paradise

_Life goes on_  
><em> It gets so heavy<em>  
><em> The wheel breaks the butterfly<em>  
><em> Every tear, a waterfall<em>..._In the night, the stormy night_  
><em> She closed her eyes<em>  
><em> In the night, the stormy night<em>  
><em> Away she'd fly...<em>

__And dreamed of para- para- paradise_  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh<em>_

Paradise by Coldplay (read and listen if you would like).

ch13.

_As helpless as a newborn child, Brennan lay immobilized with grief and a heavy heart. All she could do was wait until sleep took her and pray to a God she didn't believe in that Booth would meet her in her dreams..._

Brennan didn't see Booth but found herself looking at the ten year old version of herself, she was in her first home. Her mom was standing out front calling Russ and her. Russ looked at Tempe and then raced down the sidewalk toward their house Tempe on his heels. Brennan smiled as she watched the scene play out in front of her, she remembered what happened next. Tempe tripped and fell scrapping her knee's and hands badly on the cement. Russ stopped immediately and her mother was at her side soothing her. A mother's love, a few minutes later, a soothing voice, mommy's kisses and hugs, and everything was all better. " I love you mommy." Tempe said sitting in her mothers arms on the pavement.

"I love you too Temperance." said Christine smiling at her daughter, Tempe smiled back.

Suddenly Brennan found herself in a very dark small space, she was now fifteen. The innocent ten year old version of Brennan had washed away, as if innocence had never existed in her life. So much had changed so quickly and there was no one there to 'kiss it all better' her mother and father were gone. Russ ran away leaving her to fend for herself in foster care. Tears streamed down her face as she sat scared in the trunk of her foster parent's car, it was the consequence for accidentally breaking a dish. She exhaled a sad chuckle and gave up. Right then she promised herself she would never believe in love. Love didn't exist and that was the harsh reality. If it did, her mother and father would be here to make everything better and Russ wouldn't have left her, alone.

Brennan looked at the teenage her, hot tears streaming down her face as she promised herself she would never love or let anyone love her again, it wasn't real anyway. It only left her hurt and alone. In that moment, at fifteen, she came to grips with the fact she was going to have to be content with loneliness, because love was a burden that was definitely not worth the risk. She would be fine, alone.

_When she was just a girl_  
><em> She expected the world<em>  
><em> But it flew away from her reach<em>...

Suddenly, she found herself in a hospital. She saw Booth was in the bed and she sat in his room at a computer typing quickly, she remembered that night. That was the night she had started to question her fifteen year old promise to herself. She remembered in the trunk how she had thought love a burden, like wings one carried them on ones back. Now she waited for Booth to wake up. She remembered what she wrote that night at the hospital while she waited for him to wake up. She would never forget.

_"You love someone; you open yourself up to suffering. That's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart; maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people and you think they belong together, but nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That's the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our back, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly." _

Brennan looked at herself typing away, she paused reading what she had wrote and then deleted it. Deleted it because it wasn't Kathy speaking, it was too personal it was Temperance Brennan speaking about her partner Booth. She sat by his side waiting for him to awake from a coma. She could not put the moment she knew she had broken her promise to herself in her book. The promise to herself that she would never love anyone, because she did. As she typed she paused looking at his sleeping form and deleted her words. While her books were her way of venting, and yes it helped tremendously, she couldn't give Kathy her personal thoughts, at least not this time.

Brennan looked at herself and watched as Booth woke up and she rushed to his side. She saw her face fall when he asked who are you? Yes, love was a burden. A burden that allowed her to soar to heights she never knew existed. She kissed his forehead and cried telling him who she was and that she loved him. Wait she never did that. Brennan closed her eyes unable to watch the scene in front of her any longer. It looked like her dreams were becoming just that, an alternate universe of memories and what she wished would have happened.

_So she ran away in her sleep..._  
><em> Dreamed of para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Every time she closed her eyes<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh<em>

She was at an airport in Angela's embrace. The whole team was there. She knew this dream and she knew what came next. The 'see you later' she looked up to see Booth walking toward her and she saw no one else, it was just she and he. She wheeled her suit case away from the team and toward him. She stare up at him her eyes were glossy and she knew he didn't want to go either. Not today, not now, not ever.

Brennan watched as he took her hand and started to speak, he didn't need too. She understood all of his unsaid words, and just like that everyone else in the airport except them became blurry and disappeared. Now it was just two people alone, yet together standing in the center, together, yet miles apart. Brennan didn't want to watch anymore, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't take her eyes from Booth and she in the airport. She was surprised at what happened next, she kissed him and he kissed her back. There was no one else in the airport and they didn't care. They were lost in each other as he touched all of the places he could in public and she ran her hands through his short hair. It seemed her wishes or feelings were turning into dreams.

_ When she was just a girl_  
><em> She expected the world<em>  
><em> But it flew away from her reach<em>  
><em> And the bullets catch in her teeth<em>

She watched as they parted, he paused looking back as she did the same. Wheeling her bag farther away from him he turned and walked away, only one rotation her ass. The farther away from each other they became the harder they were to see. Then just like that, he was gone and so was she. It was odd watching yourself, because you don't get to see all that happens next. You only get scene one act two or scene three act four, never the whole play. For, the whole play wasn't finished, it was waiting-begging for Brennan and Booth to finish the next chapter. She cried on the plane, she remembered that. Remembered two hot tears rolling down her face as she looked out the window into a stormy sky.

_Life goes on_  
><em> It gets so heavy<em>  
><em> The wheel breaks the butterfly<em>  
><em> Every tear, a waterfall<em>..._In the night, the stormy night_  
><em> She closed her eyes<em>  
><em> In the night, the stormy night<em>  
><em> Away she'd fly...<em>

Then, she wasn't at the airport anymore but in the desert? She was coughing hard and being pulled up by familiar arms. She heard people murmur and saw their lips move but she couldn't make anything out. She looked up into his eyes, and they both started to laugh really laugh. For she was okay Brennan smiled looking at the scene in front of her. Her best friend was kissing Hodgins. Brennan remembered she wanted to do the same to Booth but wouldn't allow herself, not yet. Though, this wasn't reality and dreams were her escape. So, she watched as she kissed him just like she had wanted too and he held her head in his hands running his hands through her sandy hair. They were saying things to each other, Brennan had an idea of what the sweet nothings could be but she couldn't hear them.

_ And dreamed of para- para- paradise_  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh<em>

She watched as he comforted her on the couch rubbing her back as she spoke of his deployment. Tears fell and when she looked into his eyes so did her walls, every last brick. Soon her lips were on his and then before she knew it she was trying hard to string together sentences in his bed. Things like, _Not tonight...Booth hold me...ten more minutes_...the night came rushing back.

"Booth..." Brennan said over and over in her sleep. It was impossible to cry in REM sleep, yet a tear trickled down her cheek.

Thankfully Daisy was out by the fire tonight, she knew Dr. Brennan needed time alone still. She had since the night Daisy found her by the fire. Brennan would either wait until Daisy was asleep to go inside or Daisy would wait on Brennan. Neither wanted a repeat of that night.

Brennan smiled, her dreams an escape from her life's harsh reality. A reality where Booth was in a war zone and they were thousands of miles apart.

_ She dreamed of para- para- paradise_  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.<em>

Brennan looked up at Booth, her eyes danced in his as she lay on top of him. She said something to him and he responded with a laugh his chest moving up and down Brennan shook with it and laughed as well. She lay her head on his chest and drew lazy circles on his scar, she hated that scar. Why did he insist on taking bullets for her? He kissed the top of her head and she looked up her lips meeting his.

Brennan heard an odd noise as she lay there she tossed then heard it again. She woke suddenly, let down that she was no longer dreaming. Sighing, she answered reality.

"Brennan."

"Bones, Bones it's me." said Booth and Brennan sat up quickly. Booth. Booth. It was all she could think of nothing else mattered. She was momentarily in shock. Why was he able to call? Who cared? Booth. Her body filled with emotion, she felt alive, whole.

Brennan's eyes filled with water immediately and she quickly swiped at the unwelcome tears. Why was she crying? This wasn't her, this was some distorted version of her. She started to form words but found she couldn't breath. she felt, she didn't know how to put into words what she felt now and over the past few days.

"Bones? Are you okay? Bones, breath baby. It's okay, it's okay. Breathe with me, okay?"

Brennan nodded yes even though he couldn't see her. Finally, she calmed oxygen now sufficiently getting to and from her lungs.

"Booth?" Brennan's voice was meek as she sat on her bed.

"It's me Bones."

"I know that. I thought you weren't going to be able to call me, only messages." said Brennan.

"Yeah, well things have changed." said Booth. Brennan was still processing the information given to her.

Brennan nodded slowly in understanding even though Booth couldn't see her, "Booth?"

"What is it Bones?"

"I find one rotation is much harder than I anticipated. I miss you Booth. I've never missed anyone as bad as I miss you. It's a foreign feeling."

"It's okay to miss someone Bones."

The line linger in silence a bit. Brennan's grip on the cell became tighter as she licked her lips in thought.

"It's hard Booth, I have dreams. They are good dreams, but I want you here. I'm tired of only seeing you in dreams and waking up to Ms. Wick. I want you to be here."

"I can't Bones the military won't let me, I can't just leave without an honorable discharge and I don't see one of those in my near future. Bones, I wasn't even allowed to come home to see Parker's birth. The military has very strict rules."

Brennan was quiet taking this in, she exhaled at the news Booth would not be able to visit. Her voice was quiet, meek and grew as she spoke. "Can you at least ask?"

Booth ran his hands through his hair, "Yeah, I will ask."

"You didn't sound like you planned on trying too hard. Are you in fact going to ask?"

"Yes Bones, yes. I want to see you too. I miss you, and I have dreams too." said Booth and Brennan looked up to the ceiling a tear escaping the corner of her eye she quickly brushed it away.

"Why is it so hard Booth? I don't understand. I don't understand a lot that has been happening to me lately. Like why I find comfort from the glow of a fire, it's just a fire. I don't understand all of these, these new... feelings. How I feel, it's hard to understand or make sense of any of it. It' not rational Booth."

"Not everything has to be rational Bones. Losing rational is good to do every now and then. Hell Bones, we lost rational before saying 'see you later' but I don't regret losing it."

Silence linger a bit, the wind around Booth could be heard blowing into Brennan's end of the cell. Her voice was a whisper, "Me neither."

"What? You have to speak up Bones. It's hard to hear you over here, bad wind storm." Said Booth and Brennan said nothing, reminiscing of the night before."Bones!"

Brennan snapped out of it, "What Booth, you don't have to yell I can hear you just fine."

He smiled on his end of the line. "Bones, I'm leaving leatherneck tomorrow to join the rest of the guys."

Brennan stood up off her bed. "What do you mean you are leaving base? I thought you were only training men."

"I am, it's just an exercise me and some of the other senior officers are doing. I was just notified I could call you a couple of hours ago. I will call you when we return, it's just an exercise Bones. Don't worry, okay." Booth said.

"How long?"

"Fourteen days." Booth said and Brennan exhaled into the receiver as she sat back down on the bed and then stood again pacing.

"There is no such thing as_ only_ in a war-zone Booth. Please, please just...just don't be you Booth." She was begging him as hot tears made tracks down her face.

"I will call you as soon as I can Bones. Fourteen days and as soon as I'm able I will call you."

"From the same number?"

"I don't know. Wherever I'm able to use a phone and have signal."

"Can I still write you?" Brennan asked, feeling as if someone was breaking her connection from him. First a phone call to build her up, and then nothing for two weeks to make her fall.

"You can, but I won't be able to respond for at least fifteen days." Booth said and Brennan nodded okay out of habit.

"I will Booth." Brennan said and he smiled.

"Bones, I miss you too and I love you." Booth said and Brennan's tear stained face smiled as she inhaled.

"I love you too Booth."

"I have to go, briefing in five minutes."

"Have a good day Booth. I will see you later." Brennan said the words coming out strangled as she choked back tears.

"Night Bones, see you later."

Silence linger as Brennan waited for Booth to hang up and he waited for her to be the first to end the call.

Brennan was laying in bed now, the cell still held up to her ear. "Bones?"

"Yes?" She sat up.

"Sweet dreams baby." Both said, hanging up. Brennan felt an intense warmth rise in her chest and fill her whole body. She exhaled relaxed, she had spoken to him, she had spoken to him. She smiled at the thought. Though, he was leaving base for fourteen days. God, why did he do this to her? Why did he have to go? He said he wasn't going to leave base. Damn change!

She took a shower the warm water washing all of the days events away. The thoughts of Booth leaving base, why he suddenly had a phone, this strong emotional connection she had toward him, how badly she missed him. The warm water cleared her foggy mind and let her troubles wash away, if only for a moment.

Daisy heard the water pump come on and knew Dr. Brennan had finally got in the shower and off of the computer. She looked up. It had started to sprinkle, a storm was coming. She decided to start heading inside. Brennan changed into her pajamas and hopped into bed. Turning her laptop off, her cell phone now of utmost importance to her she plugged it in setting it on vibrate and ring. Just in case he called back, even if it was irrational to do. He said he was going to be busy, but just in case he did she didn't want to miss a call.

Once in bed, her cell on her nightstand computer off she closed her eyes. Knowing she would most likely never want her sweet dreams to end, but also understanding that because the earth rotated around the sun. That night would turn into morning and morning to night, repeating the cycle over and over. Tomorrow would be a new day and the first day Booth would be off base. Brennan exhaled and closed her eyes, falling into a dream world.

_So lying underneath those stormy skies._  
><em> She said... oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.<em>  
><em> I know the sun must set to rise.<em>

Brennan lay still in bed as Daisy quietly tip toed around as not to wake her. Brennan soon found herself back in her dream world. She smiled at the scene she saw, she was in a corridor of a hospital maybe? She was sitting on the floor and holding her arm as Booth whispered words of comfort and she snuggled her head farther into him. He had her, she was safe. She remembered what he had called her too, what he had said. He had called her baby, '_I gotcha baby, it's okay. I gotcha."_ she didn't want to leave those arms.

Now she watched as her eyes danced nervously back and fourth in his. Caroline Julian was there, odd to have her in a dream-but she was. They were under mistletoe and Caroline expected a kiss that lasted at least five steamboats. Booth was talking nervously as Brennan's eyes drank him in finally their lips met and eyes closed. Caroline Julian was forgotten, as a slow rhythmic cadence turned into pent up passion and desire. Brennan pulled Booth's lapels toward her kissing him harder and then they opened their eyes, parting. Brennan smiled at their awkwardness toward each other after the kiss. .

Reality was here paradise was not. Though, this was a dream and in your dreams one tended to escape reality. She watched as Caroline disappeared and the passion and desire ensue. The kiss happened again and this time there was no where either had to be it was just the two of them kissing under the mistletoe, and then on Brennan's desk. Then, against the wall. That's what Brennan wished would have happened anyway. Maybe, then she would have been ready if Booth wanted more? Maybe she just wanted to enjoy the moment.

_This could be para- para- paradise_  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> This could be para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.<em>

She knew where she was immediately. She was outside the Hoover building Booth stopped her and told her _"He knew. He was that guy, that he just knew."_ He was but she wasn't ready to let him in yet, wasn't ready to accept the possibility of getting hurt or the responsibility of hurting another and never looking at herself in the same way again. She wasn't ready to take the risk Booth was ready to take. She loved him she really did, but she would rather let him go and be happy and romantically involved with another. Then have him out of her life forever.

Brennan watched as Booth practically begged her and pulled her to him kissing her. She knew what was coming next and didn't know if she could handle Booth's sad face. The look of defeat. Though, it never happened. Brennan wrapped her arms around him and ran her fingers through his hair. They pulled apart and Brennan laughed into his mouth her's still on his. Walking off together her hand looped in his, her head on his shoulder she smiled.

Brennan knew that wasn't what happened in reality and looking back on it, even if she did wish to have a more open heart at that particular moment. Being herself had led her thus far, why change then when she obviously wasn't ready? Booth had taught her everything eventually.

Booth and Brennan were walking down the sidewalk and Booth was having trouble saying something to her. Finally he stopped and she looked at him oddly, _"I love you..."_ Brennan looked at her face it held the aftershock of his words. A clown appeared and disappeared ruining the moment. _"...In an atta girl way."_ Booth smiled at Brennan, and Brennan shook the shock off her face. Replacing shock with a fake smile she balled her fist up tapping him with it _"...yeah in an atta girl way."_

Brennan waited to see if the scene would play out any different then how she remembered. It didn't. Not every dream comes true...immediately. Now she found herself laying in bed next to Booth. He embraced her one arm around her mid section the other underneath encircling her completely. Brennan's back was snuggled up against his chest. She play with his fingers and drew lazy circles on his arms. Booth smiled watching his curious Bones draw lazy circles on him with a child like innocence about her.

He tightened his embrace on her and she flipped over in his arms to face him. He smiled and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. _"Morning Bones."_

_"It's been morning a while Booth. Though, I know what you mean."_ Brennan said and Booth kissed her forehead, her brow, nose and eventually made it to her lips.

_"I love you Bones, you know that right? I love you."_

_"I know you do Booth." Brennan said taking it in and smiling, yet thinking all at once._

_Booth grinned at her, "It's okay Bones..." he ran his thumb softly over her lips and again to her cheek._

_"No Booth, I...I have found I have to tell you this."_

_"Okay?"_

_"I... I don't want you to leave tomorrow, I don't want to leave. Though, I know we have to do what we have to do. We just became one and now we are separating to opposite ends of the earth Booth." Brennan sighed not knowing or caring about the tears running down her face. "Angela was right, this is a bad idea Booth." _

_Booth collected all of her he could into his arms. "Angela isn't a genius, you said so yourself. So, how does she know?"_

_"I know she isn't, but it doesn't take a genius to know Booth!" Brennan's face was crumbling as he looked into her eyes.  
><em>

_"Know what?" She stare at him a moment._

_"I ...I love you too Booth. You, me and everything else in between that has happened. You are different Booth. You are my partner and...and, I don't know. I just..." Brennan said as Booth swiped her tears away. "I will miss you and I've never felt this before, I don't know how to handle it Booth. For the first time in my whole life I don't want to keep it in." Brennan said looking him in the eyes and giving into more tears.  
><em>

_"I love you too Bones, and you know I would never intentionally hurt you. But orders are orders, I have to go to Afghanistan."_

_Silence linger and then Brennan mumbled, "...and I have to go to Maluku." _

_Booth nodded his forehead against hers. Her wet eyelashes looked up into his eyes. "Not tonight..." Brennan mumbled half hardheartedly, mostly somber.  
><em>

_"No baby." Booth smiled kissing her as he mumbled, "I'm all yours tonight." She smiled closing her eyes as passion and desire ensue. _

While Brennan relived reality through her dream tonight. It had a one time, been only that; a dream. There was a saying on the front desk of the Hoover by Carl Sandburg, _"Nothing happens unless first a dream..."_ A saying that neither agent or anthropologist paid mind too. Such simple words, yet so true.

_This could be para- para- paradise_  
><em> Para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Could be para- para- paradise<em>  
><em> Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.<em>

_Paradise by Coldplay Review? Thanks you to everyone who has :) I believe my fav. song is next, although I do love this one too.  
><em>


	14. Set The Fire To The Third Bar

My favorite song Set the Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol.

Ch.14

It had been five days and Brennan still hadn't heard from Booth, but why would she he wasn't scheduled to return for another nine days. She had become obsessed with her phone taking it everywhere with her, setting it on the toilet while she took a shower. She knew this was bad for the phone's battery, the water's heat could caused water damage to the battery. It was worth it. She would check it irrationally 'just in case' he called, even though she had never heard the phone ring in the first place.

The dig wasn't going well and her co-workers were becoming aggravated and impatient, everyone was agitated. It wasn't a good working enviroment. People were short, days were long and Booth still hadn't got in touch with Brennan. After her shower she sat down on her bed. She needed to write him. He said she could, only that he wouldn't be able to respond. She needed to write him for her own benefit now.

She also needed to map out tomorrow's dig site, something different needed to happen on this dig if any progress was to be made. She grabbed the map of Maluku and spread it out before her exhaling. Her eyes wandered to the small map of the world in the corner. She placed her finger on Maluku inhaled and gently traced a line with her finger to Afghanistan. On the map it seemed like such a short distance. Inhaling she exhaled a shaky breath quickly brushing a tickle of a tear away. She picked up her phone, no one had called. So, inevitably she returned to the map of Maluku.

"Sarge, East or West?" Jameson asked.

Booth looked at the rising sun. It rose on him and set on her. "West."

_I find the map and draw a straight line  
>Over rivers, farms, and state lines<br>The distance from 'A' to where you'd be  
>It's only finger-lengths that I see<br>I touch the place where I'd find your face  
>My finger in creases of distant dark places<em>

Brennan stared at the map in front of her suddenly she snatched it crumpled it and threw it toward the end of the bed. She grabbed her laptop. A letter to Booth would help her God if this didn't she didn't...she just needed some...some, peace. Hell isn't that why she came to Maluku? She came to get away from murder and get perspective and not worry all of the time. What an epic fail that had been. This whole dig was seeming to be an epic fail. And worrying is what she had become an expert at doing.

_Booth,_

_I'm scared Booth I haven't had any nightmares, but I'm scared. I need you to come back to me Booth, you have too. I know we don't get to decide things sometimes and that scares me, but what scares me more is that I have allowed myself to become one of you. One of those people. People that believe in transcendent and eternal. That is a scary feeling Booth. I find that maybe the reason I never said and still have a hard time saying what I feel is because it's the unsaid words that are not only the hardest to say, but they are the most meaningful Booth. _

_Please call me as soon as you get back and if for some reason you are able to receive this message, even though I know you most likely won't. Please send me something back. It doesn't have to be long, just let me know you are okay. _

_Daisy and I don't go to sleep at the same time anymore. She has taken to socializing with a group of our colleagues by the campfire every night. I miss sitting by the fire alone at night. Daisy and our colleagues stay up later and later each night, at least it seems that way. I can hear them laughing now Booth. The dig isn't going well, but I'm fine. It just hasn't turned out to be what I was expecting. Angela was incorrect I do not believe I will find anything really great that changes mankind here. _

_Except maybe in my perspective. I have found it has altered the way I believe in certain or particular things. Things, in which I never allowed myself to believe in before. I'm finding that these things, are real Booth. As real as the letter I'm writing you. They exist. _

_See you soon_

_Love,_

_Bones_

_I hang my coat up in the first bar_  
><em>There is no peace that I've found so far<em>  
><em>The laughter penetrates my silence<em>  
><em>As drunken men find flaws in science<em>

After she sent Booth the letter Brennan lay back pulling the comforter up to her chin. She didn't pick up the map that she had crumpled up and thrown to the end of the bed. Instead she put the lap top on the floor and inhale listening to the voices outside her hut as she lay in bed.

Daisy stoked the fire and listened to Dr. Marks respond to a fellow colleague, "She snapped at me today too. I don't know what this lot thinks of her, but as for myself she is a bitch of a woman and sometimes just heartless." Marks stood and walked back toward his hut. The eyes around the campfire followed him and then glanced at each other awkwardly.

"I don't know, I mean yes she is moody and short. She snaps at everyone a lot, but hey we all have our days." Ryder said shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, but not everyday Ryder. Come on. Doctor B is a real B and it's not just a hormonal or a once a week thing it's like she has no heart at times." said Olson.

Ryder shrugged not liking confrontation. Olson turned to Daisy, "What do you think Daisy? You do know her the best. Hell you are her roommate. That has to be a bitch." some people chuckled, but Daisy only thought of the woman who she had seen sitting by the fire alone wiping her tears away because her lover was in a war-zone.

Daisy inhaled, "I think that if you don't have something nice to say-"

"Daisy, really? Say what you think we aren't in kindergarten." Olson said.

"Yeah Daisy, come on." Thompson urged.

Daisy looked at them both and then looked at all of the eyes that had settled on her. "Fine. Fine. Dr. Brennan is a good person. She is a great roommate and she would never speak behind your back like you are doing. She would at least have the guts to say what's on her mind to your faces. She is human just like the rest of us." Daisy said and stood up prepared to walk away.

"Calm it down Daisy. You're getting a little over protective of the doc and if you think you are going to get on her good side by being nice to her think again." Olson said.

"Goodnight." said Daisy turning and walking back to her hut.

Brennan had heard what Marks had shouted, that 'she was _'a bitch of a woman and sometimes just heartless.'_ Brennan curled up clutching her cell tighter to her chest, it was her connection to Booth. She remembered when Booth told her she had a big heart muscle, bigger than most give her credit for. She needed him. She hated it when people didn't like her even if she didn't let on, she had a sensitive core. More so than most knew. She smiled a sad smile as she lay in bed, knowing even though they were miles apart she was loved. He was loved. Brennan's eyes closed and she drifted off as Daisy walked into the hut.

Booth joked with his men as they headed west. "Hey Sarge, you have anyone back home?"asked Brady a young kid around nineteen.

The other men waited on Booth's answer. "Yeah, yeah she is amazing too."

"Think she'll wait?" Brady pushed.

Silence lingered and Booth remembered her expression when she fell down on the ice as they were ice-skating. When she spun in a circle frivolously like a child in her wonder woman out fit, she was so care free. Again before he went in for surgery she had smiled a sad smile at him, and again when she waved at him before he played hockey.

Something she had said to him in her office once had stuck with him. She was chuckling, her laughter contagious and her smile beautiful. "_Sometimes I think you are from another planet..."_ Brennan laughed and then became serious. _"...and sometimes I think you are really very nice Booth."_ Brennan smiled genuinely at him. He returned it. He remembered her kissing him under mistletoe and knowing that the universe had indeed spoken.

"I don't know Brady, but I pray to God she does." Booth said thinking about Brennan.

_Their words mostly noises_  
><em>Ghosts with just voices<em>  
><em>Your words in my memory<em>  
><em>Are like music to me...<em>

For Brennan the inevitable morning had come, a new day a new sunrise. Booth lay down on the ground with a sigh as the day came to and end. He looked up to the stars and the moon, another night another sunset. Brennan stared at a skull with Dr. Marks. She tried to concentrate on the skull and task at hand, but Marks dark words from last night kept ebbing their way into her mind. She hated it. She tried to focus again, but all she could think of was Marks hurtful words. She wished Booth was here with her now more than ever.

Booth couldn't sleep, he missed her. He missed her touch, her smile, her laugh, the lazy circles she liked to draw on him in the early morning, the way she tasted, her kisses, and the way she drew out the 'th' in his last name ever the slightest. Her, just her.

He held his thumb up to the moon, it covered it. It connected them, no matter how far apart they were they would always be under the same sky. Under the same moon, even if at times one couldn't see it, it was there. Booth knew just because you can't see something, it doesn't mean it's not there, that it doesn't exist. It would always be there. Booth smiled a sad smile. He missed home. He missed her.

Brennan walked away from the skull and Dr. Marks in frustration. "Do you need help with that Dr. Brennan?" Marks asked smugly, hoping that she did.

"No. No. I am perfectly capable and more than qualified to examine the remains Dr. Marks, thank you." Brennan said.

Marks chuckled and held his hands up in mock surrender, "Hey, I was just trying to help."

"I understand and I thanked you but as I said I do not need your help Dr. Marks." Brennan said exhaling.

"Yeah, Dr. Brennan I can see that." Marks walked off mumbling, "Kinda, thankful anyway I really didn't want to be stuck helping you."

Brennan heard him but dismissed it and let it alone, he wasn't worth getting upset over. She needed to focus. So she did and completed the task at hand, but not without checking her phone first. She missed Booth. No one had called. She put her cell back in her pocket and got back to work. This was the third time today Olson had seen Dr. Brennan check her cell.

"Expecting a call Dr. Brennan?" Olson asked curiously.

Brennan looked up. "What no. Why?"

"Because you look at your cell every ten seconds." Olson said.

"That's not true." Brennan's voice was raised, defensive. She didn't know why.

"Not literally, but that's like the fourth time today you have checked it."

Brennan inhaled feeling trapped. Exhaling, she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and turned her back on her student only to face Daisy. Brennan met Daisy's big brown eyes and Daisy gave her a sad smile, they shared a momentary glance of understanding. Brennan inhaled and faced Olson again. "My partner is in a war-zone Dr. Olson. We try to keep in touch. Now can you please get back to work."

Brennan glanced to her right at Daisy and Daisy smiled at her. But Brennan couldn't smile, she didn't have the energy to muster a smile. She missed her partner. She missed Booth. She missed him and she loved him.

She wished he could be here and hold her so she could peacefully close her eyes in his embrace and forget it all. Forget about Marks, about the mean rumors that flew around camp about her, the war Booth was in, the war they both fought everyday on the inside, and the thousands of miles between them.

In Afghanistan the sun was starting to rise, in Maluku a black blanket full of stars was being pulled over the island, the sun was setting.

_I'm miles from where you are,_  
><em>I lay down on the cold ground<em>  
><em>I, I pray that something picks me up<em>  
><em>And sets me down in your warm arms<em>

It had been twelve days, twelve but it seemed like so many more. She lay in bed noticing that Miss Wick had come inside tonight the same time that she had and had not socialized with their colleagues by the fire. "Daisy, why didn't you stay out with our colleagues tonight, per usual?"

Daisy pulled her comforter up to her chin. "You are much better company Dr. Brennan."

Brennan started to say something but stopped and the two shared a smile as both drifted off to sleep. Booth was beginning to stir to the early morning.

_Brennan smiled looking down into Booth's eyes. Her legs around him, her back against the wall she let her arms fall to either side of her. They made their way to the bedroom and he threw her onto the bed, she looked at him desire and want in her eyes. He was over her in a second and she removed his belt and pulled at his pants while he unclasped her bra. Shortly after she wriggled out of her panties kicking them off_. _This_ _wasn't about making love, this was full out want, need, and pent up passion and desire built up for over a year, hell five years. It was raw and it was emotional and yes it was great sex._ _Because sometimes making love isn't needed, sometimes I'll take you here and now and there and later too and then again some more, is what is needed. _

_Booth looked at the woman asleep on his chest. He traced circles on her back and watched as her face twitched and her hand try to swat at where he was lightly tracing circles. Brennan turned over and Booth stiffled a laugh. She rolled back over and her eyes opened. Her baby blues pierced his chocolate orbs_ _in the dark._ _She_ _smiled at him and let her hand cup his jaw, his lips met her and she smiled into his mouth as he rolled them over. She looked down at him, her hands on either shoulder supporting herself _ _upright.__ She started to pivot her hips back and forth and watched his expression as she did. "Oh yeah...oh God, yeah, Bones. Oh God Bones I'm going to...Bones!" But she didn't stop, only slowed her hips down as she looked in his eyes and watched his face intently. Hair hanging in his face she leaned down and kissed him as he tried his damnest to kiss her back she took him where no man had never gone before._ _"Booonnesss!" She gave him a mischievous smile._

Then Booth woke up looking around him he caught his breath hoping he hadn't said anything aloud. He knew he spoke in his sleep, but damn those were dreams for his eyes only._  
><em>

_After I have traveled so far_  
><em>We'd set the fire to the third bar<em>  
><em>We'd share each other like an island<em>  
><em>Until exhausted, close our eyelids<em>

_She gave him a mischievous smile and he chuckled as she lay next to him. It was his turn now to make her come undone at the seams. She looked up at him a smile on her lips he smiled back. He kissed her and then explored other areas of her body. Her breath was hot on his shoulder and her skin, like his, was sweaty. It glistened under the glow of the bed side lamp. "Oh God, Mmmmooth." He looked up and her head had started to tilt back, she rocked her hips up so he could have better access. Two were becoming one. "God Bones you are so wet." _

_"Mmmhhmmm...uhhh..nigh" He smiled knowing Bones wouldn't be speaking anytime soon. He heard another whimpered moan that cued him that she was close. Then they were in sync, one with each other as the night went on. He ran his hands up the back of her head and grabbed her hair tight as she came undone. "Boooothhhhhhh." He felt her tighten and then fall to pieces, she was jello. He kissed her temple and she eventually opened her eyes lazily. It was a whisper, "I love you Booth."_

_"It was my pleasure Bones." said Booth cockily with good humor and she glared at him. "I mean I love you too." he kissed her slowly as she snuggled into his side, her head on his chest her eyes were drifting closed, exhausted they both slept intertwined in each other.  
><em>

Brennan sat up it. It was night or maybe not she looked at the phone in her hand, two o' eight. Damn, one hell of a dream, now that was paradise. Why couldn't every dream be like that? She wondered what had woke her and looked at Daisy's sleeping form. Not her. She didn't know why she woke, there was no noise her phone had unfortunetly not rung and her lap top had the same amount of messages as before. Nothing had changed. Brennan sighed, unable to sleep she picked up her lap top._  
><em>

_And dreaming, pick up from_  
><em>The last place we left off<em>  
><em>Your soft skin is weeping<em>  
><em>A joy you can't keep in...<em>

Booth readied himself for the morning grabbing an mre and eating on the run with his men. Soon it was Brennan that was crawling into bed after yet another long day of work. Daisy knew Brennan had heard what Dr. Marks had said today. It wasn't the most pleasant thing either. Dr. Gerard wouldn't confirm nor deny what he had heard, he didn't want any part of Marks nasty spat with Brennan.

Only Brennan wasn't willing to fight. Especially not tonight, not tonight. Tonight Brennan lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. Daisy was outside, which was odd because lately she had been in bed much earlier. Brennan dismissed it. She looked at her phone grabbd it and held it like a child would a favorite stuffed animal as she curled up on her side her cell in her hand. It was her lifeline to him. How did he do it? She couldn't comprehend it. How did he take her heart so easily? What was it about him that made her need him? She never had needed anyone her life, until now. She sat up setting her cell on her nightstand she reached for the lap top, she needed to write him.

_Booth,_

_I wish you were here and I know I have said that before, but I had a dream Booth and it was very sexual. I want you here for more than one reason Booth, I need you. Booth there are people here, a certain colleague of mine that doesn't like me. The man said I was a heartless bitch. I hope that I'm not coming across as mean as he makes it sound. He is irrational to think such things anyway, everyone has a heart. He is a scientist and he should know this. I believe he meant I'm incapable of love, but that is untrue because I love you Booth and I love Angela and Hodgins. I don't love them like I love you, but it proves I'm capable of love. _

Brennan stopped typing and stared at the screen. She was capable of love, capable. Marks was wrong, and he didn't know her at all. She looked at the door inhaled and started to type again.

_I feel like if you were here everything would be better. The dig, Marks, The knot in my stomach. I miss you. I love you. It feels like it's been thirty days but I know it has not. I wonder when you will receive these letters._ _I hope that it will be sooner rather then later._ _For some reason Ms. Wick did not go to bed at the same time that I did tonight. Is it hot there? I imagine it is, though I know at night it can be quite cold too. It's been thirteen days Booth, I hope I will hear from you soon. You said you would return in fourteen._

_ I know you won't be able to have access to a computer for over fifteen days, but I wish it were different. I never used to believe in wishes, I know why people wish now. I figured it out Booth. Because when one is in love they will do irrational things that they don't believe in if it may mean there is a slight chance that their loved one may be okay, that they will return. When in love one does everything in their power for the other even if they do not necessarily believe in it their selves._ _At least I think that's why people wish._ _Booth this is so much harder than 'just one rotation around the earth.' I believe Parker will agree with me if I said please do not ever leave to a war-zone again. I need you here with me Booth. See you sooner then later. I can't wait to be in your arms.  
><em>

_Love,_

_Bones_

_I'm miles from where you are,_  
><em>I lay down on the cold ground<em>  
><em>And I, I pray that something picks me up<em>  
><em>and sets me down in your warm arm<em>

Day fourteen had come and gone with no word from Booth. It was now night fifteen and Brennan was about to lose it. Daisy was at a special dinner with her colleagues and Brennan was sitting crying in the shower. The warm water had turned cold a while ago but she didn't notice. "Damn it! Damn you!" she threw the soap because it was readily available. It swayed back and forth in the tub as it slid it's way toward her. When it came to a stop in front of her she cried harder. That's when she heard the ring and stood quickly grabbing her towel she stepped out of the shower and answer her cell.

"Brennan."

"Bones!"

She wanted to cry at the sound of his voice but stopped herself, she was mad at him damn it.

"You didn't call me yesterday." she said flatly, turning the shower off and just now realizing how cold the water actually was.

"I'm sorry, I was really busy and wasn't able to get to a phone Bones. We got in later than we thought we were going to be getting in."

"I don't care."

"Bones."

"No, Booth. I was worried, I was scared. Hell, for God's sake Booth I find it hard to function, and I never have a hard time concentrating. Never."

"Well what do you want me to do different? I called you as soon as I could."

Brennan's eyes teared up as she look up to the ceiling. For what? An answer? Hope? Who the hell knows.

"It wasn't good enough."

"Really Bones? What should I do different? You tell me."

Brennan sat on the bed, crumbling she yelled into her cell her face red with tears. "I don't know Booth. I don't fucking know anymore!" She yelled inhaling and exhaling sobs as she cry into her end of the receiver. She was angry, but not at him. She was angry with the military, with the situation, for falling in love.

"Oh God Bones, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Shhh, it's going to be okay baby. It's going to be okay."

Brennan inhaled trying to compose herself. "I'm sorry Booth, I...I it's just..."

"I love you Bones." Booth said and Brennan looked up again. Why did she do that? Another tear escaped.

"I love you too Booth." her response was automatic and her voice had been on the verge of tears since she answered the call. She needed to hear those words. "I wrote you Booth, even though you said you wouldn't be able to read my letters until tomorrow or today. I still wrote you."

Booth smiled, "Thank you Bones I love reading what you write."

"You do?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Booth asked.

"I don't know, you are probably very busy Booth."

"Nah, I'm fine. How are you?" Booth said and Brennan knew something was up with him.

"Fine, what's wrong Booth?"

"Nothing, why do you think somehting is wrong?"

"Because you have that tone in your voice."

"What tone?"

"That one Booth, you use it when something is usually upsetting you such as a personal case."

"Well no case here Bones. Just me and I'm fine."

"You told me that fine was a word most commonly used when one lies to cover their true feelings." Brennan said sitting on the bed rubbing the cell with her thumb.

"Who told you such a thing?" Booth scoffed.

"I'm not joking Booth, what is wrong? Why won't you tell me?"

"You deserve a better conversation Bones. You don't want to know, really. So, how is Daisy?"

"Booth! You are wrong, I want to know! I deserve to know why you feel the way you do. So please, tell me what happened. Maybe I can help." Brennan demanded and offered, she heard Booth exhale.

"Nothing happened Bones. It's just hard today, we had some changes. Some guys left and we got some new guys. I...I had a dream the other night and I miss you Bones. I miss you really bad." Booth said and Brennan smiled.

"I miss you too Booth. What kind of dream? I had a dream as well." Brennan said.

"Did you? I don't know if yours was anything like mine. Mine was, it was...it was..."

"...sexual?" Brennan offered and Booth rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Bones."

"Really, mine too. Was I in your dream?" Brennan asked.

"Yes Bones, but we don't have to talk about it."

"Why it could be very stimulating. Though, first let me get dressed you called when I was in the shower."

"God Bones, Jesus, just..please stop."

"Why? Oh, Ohhh okay." Brennan said and Booth chuckled at her.

"Get dressed."

"I am, I can talk to you and put on my pajamas at the same time. I'm very good at multitasking Booth."

"I know you are." he said and Brennan smiled.

"I want you home now." Brennan said now changed sitting on her bed.

"I just got off the phone with Parker and he said the same thing."

"I assure you I do not intend it in the way Parker does." Brennan said and Booth smiled.

"Bones?"

"Yes."

"I'm okay, it was just a hard day. How are you?" Booth said and Brennan exhaled.

"I miss you, bad. Maybe you will feel better when you write me back, whenever I'm having a hard time I stop what I'm doing and write you. It's cathartic, you may feel better when you write back Booth." Brennan said half urging him to do so and half helping him out.

"Probably so, but I will feel best when I have you in my arms again." Booth said and Brennan was quiet.

"Don't Booth."

"What?" asked Booth.

"Don't put that image in my head, because right now that is all that is keeping me going. When you say it, it feels unrealistic. And that's okay, I would rather it just be a dream to me for now." Brennan said her voice shaky.

"I'm coming home Bones." Booth said.

"You don't know that for sure."

"How do you know that not for sure." Booth said and at his words she inhaled.

"Booth please."

"No. No Bones, listen it's going to be you and me when I get home." Booth said but all he heard was silence.

"No. We can't we are just partners. The F.B.I won't let us work together. No."

Booth chuckled, "Wow, Bones. Really? After all of this, partners? Fucking partners is what you call us?"

"Your angry." Brennan said.

"Good observation genius and yes I'm angry Bones. Because I know that you know we are more than partners. For fucks sake Bones don't you remember the night before I left?"

Brennan was crying again. She nodded yes as she answered, "I won't ever forget Booth."

"Do you regret it?"

"What? No never. Not at all Booth."

"Bones, it's okay to be scared." Booth said and he heard her crying.

"I'm scared Booth, scared of what will become of us, of the future, of what could happen to you-" she started to cry harder.

"Lay down Bones. It' going to be okay. One day at a time, okay?" she nodded yes pulling the comforter up to her chin she curled up on her side the phone lay on her ear. "See you soon baby, other people have to use the phone. When you close your eyes tonight I'll be waiting for you, okay? See you in my dreams." he chuckled as did she.

"Booth?" Brennan yawned.

"Hhmmm?"

"I can't wait to be in your arms again either." Brennan yawned again through her smile. "I love you Booth."

"I know Bones, we'll make it alright. See you soon Bones."

"See you soon Booth."

Brennan waited and he hung up first then she exhaled and ended the call. Smiling she dug her head into the pillow that her arms were wrapped around and breathed it in. Not too much longer and she would be in his arms. Her eyes closed and she fell into a dream world, into his embrace.

_I'm miles from where you are,_  
><em>I lay down on the cold ground<em>  
><em>and I, I pray that something picks me up<em>  
><em>and sets me down in your warm arms<em>

_song-Set The Fire To The Third Bar by Snow Patrol  
><em>


	15. Wish You Were Here

_I can be tough  
>I can be strong<br>But with you, it's not like that at all_

_...And I remember all those crazy things you said_  
><em>You left them running through my head<em>  
><em>You're always there, you're everywhere<em>  
><em>But right now I wish you were here...<em>

Wish You Were Here by Avril Lavigne (go on give it a go :)

Brennan looked to her left, and there sat Dr. Marks and Dr. Olson. Both doctors were her least favorite to be around and both seemed to revel in petty drama. Brennan didn't understand their logic. Not at all. She had decided to stay out at the camp fire with her colleagues for a bit later then normal. She had checked her phone to no avail and while she wanted to write Booth or better yet see if he had wrote her back. She knew despite the longing for some sort of a semblance of connection to Booth, she needed to remain in reality as well. It was unhealthy to live in a dream like state all of the time. So she sat around the warm dancing flames with her colleagues. Staring off into the embers burning hot and slow, she let her mind unravel, unwind, no...no it only sped up with thoughts of him.

Dr. Marks nudged Dr. Ryder whispering, "She looks out of it." and Ryder nodded yes for Brennan was. While, she sat with them, she was in a world all of her own.

Another hushed whisper, "Are you speaking about Dr. Brennan?" Dr. Olson chimed in.

Marks nodded yes confirming and for a second the three just look at Brennan, staring into the fire, in a world of her own.

"She looks sad." Ryder said.

"She snapped the other day and told me her partner was in a war-zone. I don't know exactly what she meant. Though, I'm assuming it's her partner back at the Jeffersonian. She does have a partner there, correct? She aids him in the field." Dr. Olson asked to whoever would answer. Daisy walked over and sat next to the group.

"I'm unsure, I don't know much about her except she is one moody woman." Dr. Marks said adding, "Why don't you ask Ms. Wick, she would know best."

"Ask me what?" Daisy said a smile on her face.

Ryder's voice was a whisper as well amongst his colleagues, "Does Dr. Brennan have a partner back at the Jeffersonian?"

"Yes, Seeley Booth. Why?" Daisy said and Brennan glanced at the people that thought she couldn't hear them over the crackling fire and the ten feet that was between them. They were right, she couldn't hear them. Though, she wasn't stupid and she knew when someone was speaking about her. Besides she had only glanced up upon hearing her partners name fall from Ms. Wicks high pitched voice. Brennan continued to watch, more out of amusement than anything. She could take the low blows and harsh things they said about her, she was Dr. Temperance Brennan.

"Is he the one in a war-zone?" Dr. Ryder asked and Brennan exhaled a slow deep breath she didn't know she had been holding in. Daisy caught Brennan's eye and held it. Daisy was sad for her, but Brennan only glanced back into the warmth of the fire, comfort. Booth.

_I can be tough  
>I can be strong<br>But with you, it's not like that at all_

She listened intently as Daisy told Ryder "Yes." The embers burned so hot and slow. The sparks igniting over and over captivated Brennan and she watched the fire dance, it's reflection in her eyes. She missed him, and felt so alone. For the first time in a long time, she was not okay with being alone. To be honest with herself, she never was to begin with.

Dr. Olson's face crinkled a bit as she looked to Dr. Marks who spoke, "You've got to be kidding me. Did ya'll here that? Daisy Dukes here says Dr. Brennan keeps in touch with this partner of her's? The field agent she is assigned too, correct?"

Brennan was biting the inside of her mouth staring into the fire and blocking her colleagues out.

Daisy nodded a meek yes.

"Is she in love with him? Are they in love?" Dr. Olson asked and Brennan glanced at Daisy who caught her sad eyes and held them. She gave her a sad smile and shrugged her shoulders. Daisy knew Dr. Brennan's love life was not to be discussed, ever.

"Well, Daisy?" Dr. Marks was curious as well.

Daisy looked at Dr. Marks, "I don't know. Her love life is not open for discussion."

"You know Daisy, I always thought you down to earth. You talk too much, but it's mindless chatter and harmless, only annoying. Though, straight lying to our faces, come on. We know you know if she does or not." Dr. Olson said.

"Why do you care?" Daisy asked honestly and Dr. Ryder wondered the same.

"Just curious." Dr. Olson said.

Dr. Marks chuckled, "I'm just surprised she even gives a shit about her partner. She seems a very cold woman. Dr. Olson do you really think she has found someone to love her? Honestly. Plus, the way she treats her colleagues no one would ever know she was capable of such an emotional grand gesture."

Daisy became agitated especially because Brennan was sitting only ten feet from them. She was about to point that out but when she looked over to where Brennen once sat it was empty. Brennan had heard enough, too much. So she left quietly into the night. "You know, you could be nicer Dr. Marks. You are not in Dr. Brennan's shoes and she is not in yours. Yet she is nice to you even though she heard you call her a heartless bitch and don't think she doesn't hear the hushed whispers. She may be lacking in the social department, but she has a heart."

"Are you done with your protect Dr. Brennan speech Daisy? If so can we go back to enjoying the fire now." Dr. Marks said.

Daisy sat down and Ryder mumbled, "Not everyone will get to enjoy the warmth it puts off." Daisy looked at Ryder and they shared an understanding, they both felt bad for Brennan.

Brennan flopped down onto her bed and sighed shakily as she gave into the tears and overwhelming amount of emotion that had consumed her. She held her pillow tight and soaked it with tears.

In between she cried shaky choking tears for Booth. Tears of frustration of the dig, lack of respect and dislike from her colleagues, the frustration this love thing was causing, this new found openness, and him- Booth. Being so open, sharing an understanding glance with Daisy had been too much. She wasn't use to letting anyone, but Booth inside of her clad-iron brick walls. Tonight and then again a month or so ago Daisy had caught her with her guard down. She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt the vibration in her back pocket as her phone rang. She smiled, wiped at her red face and dug the phone out of her back pocket. "Brennan."

"Bones?"

"Booth." she tried hard to hold it in hold it back but she broke. Crying she slowly laid down onto her bed clutching her cell tighter and pressing it hard onto her ear. Now she could concentrate on one thing only, his voice. Him.

_There's a girl_  
><em>That gives a shit<em>  
><em>Behind this wall<em>  
><em>You just walk through it<em>

"Bones? Bones? Talk to me. What's wrong?" Booth pried as he heard his Bones crying into the receiver and imagined her laying curled up alone in bed. He was right she was curled up crying, alone.

"This is hard Booth. I have come to the realization that not much is easy when one finally admits they are in love. The separation is hard." she said wiping at her face.

He smiled, she was changing. He wasn't changing her. Hell, no one could change her. She was opening herself to new ideas and possibilities, discovering them in her perspective if you will. "Yeah, yeah Bones it's a lot harder to be apart when you are in love with someone." Booth said his voice softer then normal.

"I...I love you Booth." she didn't think about it, the words just came out.

"I know, baby. I love you too. Guess what?"

"I don't know."

"That's why I said guess Bones, there is no right or wrong answer."

"Of course there is. It's either right or wrong there is no middle ground Booth." she sat up the tears now subsiding as she listened to what he was about to say, curious.

"Okay, fine. I will just tell you."

She swallowed her remaining tears and brushed at her red face. "That sounds acceptable."

"Does it?"

She nodded yes and then realized he couldn't see her so she voiced her response. It was a soft whisper, "Yeah." She was smiling into the receiver as was Booth.

"I get to read your letters tomorrow." Brennan smiled noticing the excitement in his voice. "Wi-Fi was down for a while and once we returned to Leatherneck I couldn't find my computer and freaked at first because I knew you wrote me and I needed to get back in touch with you." Booth said surprised when all he heard was silence. Where was his chatty Bones? She was laying on her bed smiling at the sound of his voice. She was content just to hear him and wanted to know of his long days and longer nights. She wanted to know everything.

"Are you there Bones?"

"I'm here Booth." he noticed her voice had dropped a few octaves lower almost sleep laden, but not quite. She was day dreaming of him while listening to him, it made him smile. "Why? Is everything okay?" she asked sweetly, yet it bothered him that he could hear the worry ebbed in between the words that made up that question. Worried him but made him feel loved, and cared about all at once.

"Everything's fine Bones. It's been slowly calming down around here the past week. What about you how is the dig? How are your colleagues? Did you get stuck with crappy doctors or good ones?" Booth asked and Brennan rolled over glancing at the door that separated her from the outside and hushed whispers, and the here and now talking to Booth on the phone indoors. Close at heart, yet miles apart.

"My colleagues don't like me. I overheard one of them call me a heartless bitch. He thinks I'm cold and incapable of love." Brennan said matter of factly, it was what it was. Though, Booth could hear her tone, she cared. He knew she cared what others thought of her, she was sensitive Bones.

A strong woman, yet guarded. For, behind those strong walls was a sensitive little girl who cried. Cried frozen in her past, scared constantly of others mean words. Scared of the hurt that would come back to haunt her in her adult life just as it had when she was a little girl. People were mean and she couldn't ever understand why?

Although a grown woman now, she still had a child like innocence about her. Booth loved that about her.

"Tell me you don't believe him Bones. Please ignore him, he is an idiot."

"Actually he is quite smart Booth. His IQ is of genius level."

"Yeah, well intelligence does not equate wisdom Bones. Believe me anyone who says something like that is an idiot, he assumed. He doesn't even know you and he judged you quickly. If I were there I-"

"If you were here everything would be better. Well the dig would still be an epic fail, but everyone would know. Know I'm capable of love."

"Bones, it doesn't matter what they think. Who cares, I love you. The team loves you. You are the standard and this guy-"

"Dr. Marks." said Brennan.

"Yeah, him. He probably hasn't had any in a while and is taking it out on everyone else."

"Any what?"

Really? Booth thought, was he really going to have to explain this one too?

"Any what Booth?"

Yes he was. "Sex Bones."

"Ohhh." and he heard it click in her voice.

"I have no way of knowing that." Brennan said.

"Does it really matter? Really Bones? Does he really matter? You won't ever see him after this dig again, he is an asshole."

"I have no way of knowing that I will never see him again. The future is not up to me and cannot be read. Although, Angela would disagree."

"Bones, if he called you, the most honest, selfless, nicest, gorgeous, intelligent, sensitive and loving person I know what he did. Trust me this Mark's, he's more than an asshole."

Brennan rolled over smiling and looked up to the ceiling, she didn't cry. "You really believe that Booth?"

"What?"

"That I portray all of those characteristics." Brennan said, her voice light. Her tone a bit of a whisper.

Booth chuckled and looked at some of his men, he was back on base now. Wilson his CO was talking to some of the guys. Wilson was married and had three kids. He wondered how the hell he could be away from his wife and kids so much. A CO's position has usually been in for over fifteen years. " Sometimes more. "More than you will ever know Bones."

Brennan was going to say something, but stopped herself. Instead she settled for a "Thank you Booth." as she smiled a sad smile, missing him.

_And I remember all those crazy things you said_  
><em>You left them running through my head<em>  
><em>You're always there, you're everywhere<em>  
><em>But right now I wish you were here...<em>

"Bones?"

"Hhmm?"

"Do you remember when I was getting ready to go in for my operation and I told you that you will make a great mother?" Booth asked.

Brennan readjusted the grip on her phone and sat up making sure she heard what he was about to say. "Yes, of course."

"Do you know how I know that you would make an excellent mom?" Booth asked and Brennan shook her head no then realized he couldn't see her.

"No."

"Because you are so selfless and you care not only about who you love, but everyone. Humanity Bones, everyone. You care about every case, every set of remains. You are filled with a passion to bring justice to everyone."

Brennan was quiet a moment and Booth thought he might have said too much. He heard her swallow and imagined her sitting or laying on her bed in the hut Daisy and she shared.

"Booth, that is to be expected in a job like mine. It just goes along with what I do. To care for someone is not that hard to do, it's the right thing to do."

"Just because it's right doesn't mean everyone does it. Your wrong Bones, you usually are the one that is right but I'm telling you this time I'm right. You are very selfless and caring. Traits that don't come easily to everyone." Booth said and he heard Brennan smile a little puff of air could be heard on his end of the receiver. "Oh, and honest. God you are honest, you have a good heart Bones. A big heart and that is what makes you not only beautiful on the outside, but the inside as well."

"My insides are full of blood, organs, and muscle tissue-"

"The traits that make you up. Your disposition, that is what I meant."

"Thank you Booth, I find you are as well. Although, I would say you are more of handsome then beautiful. Though, on the inside you are beautiful and have a very large giving heart."

Booth chuckled, "Thanks Bones."

"Always Booth, it's the truth." Brennan said and Booth smiled, his honest Bones.

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"Remember when you stole my favorite earring from the crime scene in New Orleans?" Brennan asked getting comfortable and sliding back down in bed. Her back now against the pillows, legs crossed over one another as she spoke.

"I do."

"That was very kind of you, thank you." Brennan said and Booth smiled, he wanted to be where she was. Wanted to kick the Marks guy's ass for saying what he had about her. Though, she was there and he was here and that wouldn't be happening. He would have to wait for one full revolution of the sun around the earth.

"Anytime Bones."

"Booth?" She got situated under the comforter curling up on her side.

"Hhmm?"

"I"m glad I didn't sleep with you when you were going to fire me." Her voice was sleepy.

Booth could only wonder as to where this was going. "Why is that? Did you think I needed practice?" he laughed lightly.

"No, but if we did that meant you would have fired me. I was okay with just a kiss goodnight, I believe taking it slow is supposedly the correct way to have a long term relationship." Brennan said not realizing that she had just insinuated a long term relationship. A proper relationship. Booth smiled at her slip up.

"Are you saying you are okay with the possibility of a long term relationship now?" asked a hopeful Booth. Bones heard the hope in his voice.

"What? I..I never said..."

"Yes you did."

"Booth."

"Bones."

"Okay, fine. I have entertained the possibility. I have come to the conclusion that just because my parents and brother left me when I was younger does not mean everyone will. Also, there are exceptions to every rule. Even though, I promised never to believe in such things as transcendent and eternal. That such things do not exist or are worth the risk. I found I was wrong, and there are risks worth taking and burdens worth carrying." Brennan sighed into the receiver and Booth smiled.

"Are you saying I'm your exception?" Booth asked smugly, happy.

"No, I...I don't know. Booth why can't you just take the complement?" Brennan stammered.

"I think I know." Booth said and Brennan rolled her eyes smiling.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you and for you to now believe in such things as transcendent and eternal, something you have always wanted to believe in. Well, it's a leap in faith which you don't believe in and as you would say, it's irrational. I also happen to know you have learned about losing rationality, living in the moment and listening to your heart. In retrospect it isn't all that bad Bones, not bad at all." Booth smiled as did Brennan.

_ Brennan remembered that night before he left. She had given into her heart, asked if she could stay the night? Wondered if it was alright. It was. It was more than alright. She had lost rationality that night. She remembered he asked her as they sat on the couch, "What's wrong?" _

_She said she was unhappy with the way the world was turning. Upset with his deployment, upset by so much more than she thought would ever affect her. He wondered if there was anything he could do to take her mind off her troubled heart. There was and it wasn't long until she found herself in his bed. That night she dropped her defenses down to the floor with her clothes._

_ He knew she bruised easily. He treated her that way too, knowing that she was in fact a porcelain teddy bear. He had to be gentle when he handled her._ _Her heart was a fragile one and he didn't intend on leaving any more metaphorical marks. Didn't intend on leaving anymore bruises, he knew she already had enough scars._

"Am I right Dr. Bones Brennan?" Booth said in a mischievous tone.

"I suppose you are in fact correct Booth. Losing rationality is quite satisfying."

_All those crazy things we did_  
><em>Didn't think about it, just went with it<em>  
><em>You're always there, you're everywhere<em>  
><em>But right now I wish you were here...<em>

"Booth, I don't want to be in Maluku anymore."

"I know, but we are just going to have to hold out for four more months Bones. We can do four more."

Brennan fingered the sheets and wondered if she could. "I find this is one of the hardest things I have ever done Booth. Love is not always happy and...and surreal like everyone makes it out to be."

"Nope, but it's worth it. The burden, the weight, and the risk. It's all worth it in the end."

Brennan sighed, "Will you write me back tomorrow? How are you doing? Is today a better day? Writing could really help Booth it is apt to keeping a journal, it's very cathartic." She said and he smiled.

"I will try my damn-est to respond to you tomorrow Bones. Yeah, today is a better day, everyone is just hanging out on base right now. The computers are taken, I share mine. Though, I have the phone for about..." Booth smiled and Brennan frowned expecting the usual five minute answer, "...fifteen or twenty minutes." he could hear her smile on the phone line, picture her smiling laying in bed talking to him.

Brennan spoke softly, "That makes me very happy Booth."

"I thought it would."

Another sigh from Brennan, "Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I miss you and I need you here. It's so hard..." her voice was starting to break. Booth wondered where the sudden un-Bones like flood of emotion came from. "...It's...I didn't expect...I wasn't prepared to handle such overwhelming emotions Booth. Everything is very confusing, I'm confused."

"Do you love me?"

She inhaled, the admission was still new and a bit foreign on her lips. Not the word, but the emotion that accompanied the words. The one she felt when she said it. "Yes Booth."

"And I love you too. See, you aren't confused, not at all."

Her voice strained, "But I am Booth, I am. All of the..these...feelings, emotions. I...I don't know how to process them. How to handle them."

"It's new, you will get use to it. Just know it's okay to feel the way you feel Bones. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing, it's..."

"Accepting exceptions, which in turn leads to accepting possibilities." Brennan finished.

"Exactly."

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I still wish you could be here. Did you ask if you could come here?" she asked her voice sleepy a warm soothing whisper to his tired ears. His hearing was almost fully recovered now. She really was changing, asking for him to leave Afghan and join her on a dig. That was just not Bones. She was in love and it was with him, he smiled. Though, the smile quickly faded.

"I did ask Bones and I'm sorry. They said no. Orders are orders and the military has strict rules."

"I know that Booth you told me already." Brennan sat up her legs still under her comforter. "I don't care what they think Booth. Angela said all was fair in love and war, I surmise she was wrong. This, us..." She looked up to the ceiling and inhaled and exhaled. "This is _not_ fair Booth!"

"I know Bones, calm down. There is nothing I can do."

Brennan glanced up to the ceiling again trying her hardest not to let her tears spill, but sometimes your best wasn't good enough and she wiped at the silent tears running down her face.

_Damn, Damn, Damn,_  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Here, here, here<em>  
><em>I wish you were here.<em>..  
><em>Damn, Damn, Damn<em>  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Near, near, near<em>  
><em>I wish you were here...<em>

"I know." the two words were a whisper. Silence linger a moment. "But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

Booth chuckled, "I don't expect you to like it."

"It's hard." said Bones

"Yes it is." Booth said and Brennan inhaled sitting up in bed again pulling the comforter up a bit past her lap. She fingered the sheets again as she went on.

"Four more months seems like a long time even though I know it is not."

"Hey, hey Bones. It's going to be okay."

"According to you."

"Bones..."

"No Booth, you don't know that for sure."

"Bones nothing is for sure, you don't know that something bad will happen for sure. You can't predict the future, you said so yourself, remember? Besides I thought we have already had this talk."

Brennan was silent. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Booth?"

"What's wrong Bones?"

"Don't be you. Please just..."

"Bones, it's okay. I'm back on base."

"I don't care Booth. You, you are in a war-zone...and...and even if you weren't it would still be hard. I would still want you here so you could explain everything that I'm feeling to me. Then you would be able to tell me if it's right or wrong."

Booth smiled and ran his hand over his face and through his hair. "Bones, there is no right or wrong when you are in love. Remember that and don't ever change for anyone Bones, anyone. Promise me." Booth said and Brennan contemplated his words.

"But change is inevitable Booth... actually, I believe I have changed since I've been here. Since I have acknowledged that maybe the possibility of love is real, that despite all hard facts and rational arguments, it does in fact exist." Brennan said and Booth smiled because she had definitely changed.

She had opened her heart and allowed him inside. Allowed herself the risk of hurting not only herself, but another. For, she had been bit by a silly little bug called the love bug and damn did it get her good. She quickly found there was no cure, no anti-venom, and it was not on the chart of venomous insects to watch out for that Hodgins had given to her the day of her departure.

"I've been trying to tell you that Bones." said Booth.

Brennan huffed into the phone a smirk on her lips. "Boooth..." she whined, "Well-"

"Well?" he said.

"Well you are usually not in your right mind Booth. How did you expect me to believe you?" she smiled satisfied with her answer.

"Oh, really Bones? I'm not in my right mind?" Booth asked catching her playful tone.

"No. No, Booth most of the time I'm the one that has the answers." she smiled into the phone as she lay on her side.

"So modest. As you would say, you're not cocky you're just-"

"I just have a lot of confidence Booth. You on the other hand are cocky."

"Bones."

"What? You even wear that cocky belt buckle. Remember the one..."

"I know which one it is."

"Booth?"

"What?"

Brennan sighed exhaling deeply, "I promise I will not change for anyone if you promise not to be yourself." Brennan said and Booth smiled at the irony of her words.

"Good, good. I can't not be me Bones. I am who I am, but I will try not to be a hero."

"Then I suppose I will only try not to change for anyone. If you are merely going to try not to be a hero. I believe Angela would call it a half-ass attempt." Brennan said and Booth suppressed a chuckle knowing Bones wouldn't find it funny.

"Fine, you stay true to you and I won't be a hero." Booth said.

"Promise?"

He sighed, "Yes, Bones I promise."

"Booth stop I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. You have my word. I promise."

Silence linger and Brennan could hear someone speaking in the background where Booth was. "Good. You know what it's kind of funny Booth." Brennan chuckled her Bones laughter echoing on his end of the phone.

"What?"

"I'm not supposed to change myself and you are not supposed to be yourself." Brennan laughed again and Booth smiled, not because it was funny. He had figured out the play on words a while ago. But because she had just laughed and her laughter was music to his ears.

_I love the way you are_  
><em>It's who I am, don't have to try hard<em>  
><em>We always say, say it like it is<em>  
><em>And the truth, is that I really mi-i-iss<em>

"Yeah, it is funny Bones." he smiled wishing he could see her face. Neither had Skype, well some of the guys at leatherneck did. Mainly the guys who were married or engaged, some had girlfriends. Most everyone who had someone waiting back home had it, he smiled. While, he didn't have Skype, he did have someone waiting for him.

"Booth?" her voice was sleep laden a lazy whisper so soothing to his ears.

"Hhmm?"

"What are we going to tell everyone when we get home? I'm scared." Brennan said and Booth could hear the vulnerability in her voice.

"Don't be, please don't be scared Bones. We will be partners and-"

"I though you insinuated we weren't fucking partners anymore, not after all I have said." she said half asking and Booth smiled, yeah he did say that.

"We aren't, you're right. We're partners and then some...Please hang in here with me Bones, after all you have said...just please hang in there with me. I promise it will be worth it, I'll make it worth it."

Brennan inhaled, "Because if I didn't hang in there, if I were to change my mind. I would crush your heart again, very badly." Brennan finished for him.

Booth exhaled, "Yeah, but I don't want you to feel obligated to stay in a relationship you don't want either."

Brennan's voice dropped a few octaves lower, her voice a soft whisper. "I don't think you could make me leave, I don't want to leave. I'm just scared of change, of losing you. I don't care about me."

"Don't say that Bones, don't say you don't care about yourself."

"Why? In a relationship I find I don't want to hurt the other person. If I do, I feel bad. Like with Sully, do you remember him?" She asked.

"Yeah, I remember him Bones. Don't feel bad, you were his loss. If he loved you he never would have left."

Brennan's mind raced. "I left you and you left me. Does that mean we only think we are in love? That in fact it is just epinephrine, nor-epine-"

"Stop! Just, no! We are not only chemicals reacting Bones!"

"Actually we are-"

"No, no we aren't. Do you remember how upset you were? Do you remember what you said the night before I left? You didn't even know you had said it." Booth said and Brennan contemplated.

"I said a lot that night Booth." Brennan said and Booth smiled a faint smile swallowing.

"You said not tonight,_ not tonight._"

"I remember." Brennan smiled and rolled over looking up at the ceiling a silent tear escaping out of the corner of her eye. "I remember now Booth." she said louder with more conviction and he smiled a sad smile. The moon was visible in the day time and he held his thumb up to it, covering it. He smiled.

"Is it a full moon there Bones?" he asked and she nodded yes starting to drift off to sleep.

"Mmhhmm." he smiled and sighed listening to her breathe. "Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I love you." she said it, just like that. "I hope you can read my letters tomorrow."

"I do too Bones...night. You sound sleepy."

"Booth, don't go. Stay, stay on the phone with me?" her voice was meek, a little girl whispering.

"Mkay." he said and she inhaled and exhaled a relaxed breath.

_All those crazy things you said_  
><em>You left them running through my head<em>  
><em>You're always there, you're everywhere<em>  
><em>But right now I wish you were here.<em>..

Brennan's hands were curled up to her chest in the fetal position. The phone rest on her ear gravity holding it against her head. "Bones?" Booth hadn't heard her say anything for a while now.

"Hhmm?"

"I was just checking to see if you were still awake."

Brennan yawned, "Mmmhmm."

Booth smiled at her.

"Bones, your tired I should go."

Brennan slowly sat up "No, please don't Booth. I'm awake now, I'm awake." she said and he frowned a bit not wanting to keep her up. "I don't get to talk to you that much, I should take advantage of it when I can." she said smiling a sad smile, he did the same.

"Okay, okay. I will stay on the phone, but I can't much longer. My time is running out." Booth said and Brennan frowned.

"I understand." Brennan said sadly.

"And Bones, I promise not to be a hero."

"And I will promise not to change for anyone, ever. Even though I think I already am changing and change is inevitable."

Booth rolled his eyes, "Sweet dreams Bones."

"Thank you Booth. I hope you have pleasant dreams as well." silence linger as they listened to each other breathe. Booth couldn't bring himself to hang up.

_All those crazy things we did_  
><em>Didn't think about it, just went with it<em>  
><em>You're always there, you're everywhere<em>  
><em>But right now I wish you were here<em>

Brennan exhaled, she didn't want him to hang up. She didn't want to end the call, she couldn't. She missed him so bad, her chest hurt, it burned but not like heartburn. She had felt the sensation before, it rose up in her sternum when she spoke to him. If Booth was here she imagined he could irrationally kiss it all better.

Booth listened to her breathing and imagined her lying in her bed alone curled up on her side. He had heard her exhale and knew she wouldn't dare say a word, words would make their 'talk to you later' all the harder. He looked at the sun, it was about fiveish, maybe a bit earlier. He looked at the moon and heard someone calling his name. It was Adams, he raised his hand telling him he would be there in a minute. Right now he was listening to his girl fall asleep.

_[Chorus:]_  
><em>Damn, Damn, Damn,<em>  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Here, here, here<em>  
><em>I wish you were here.<em>  
><em>Damn, Damn, Damn<em>  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Near, near, near<em>  
><em>I wish you were here.<em>

"Night Bones, I'll be sure to read your letters. Someone else needs the phone. Sweet dreams baby."

He almost hung up but he heard a soft murmur of a response. "I know you have too, but I don't want you to go. You said you love me and...I...I love you too Booth."

"I know. I know you do Bones. I'll write you tomorrow okay?"

"Mkay." she yawned.

_[Bridge:]_  
><em>No, I don't wanna let go<em>  
><em>I just wanna let you know<em>  
><em>That I never wanna let go...<em>

Booth listened to her breathe for a little longer and then removed the phone from his ear, the sound of her breathing now gone. He looked at the phone in his hand a moment before ending the call. Then he exhaled and rubbed his forehead. His guard now up he walked towards Adams, Bones on his mind.

_Let go let go let go let go..._

Brennan heard the phone go dead after a moment and frowned. Just like that he had slipped away from her again, she would have to wait...in a limbo. Between dreams, sunrises and sunsets.

_No, I don't wanna let go_  
><em>I just wanna let you know<em>  
><em>That I never wanna let go<em>

Adams joked with Booth and a couple of other guys as Brennan tossed and turned in her bed. "Hey Sarge?"

"Yeah?" Booth said to Strickland.

"Whatever happened to that hot journalist?"

Booth smiled suppressing a laugh, "She is long gone boys, she's writing someone else's story now."

"Man if I were you I would have tapped that." said Strickland.

"Strickland, if it's female. You would tap it." Rogers said and Adams laughed nudging the younger man.

"Shut-up... but yeah, your most likely right." Strickland said laughing. "No, but really Sarge, you have someone back home or something?"

Booth smiled and all of the guys started making calls like a wolf and nudging him. Pressing him for more. Booth nodded yes not able to keep a smile off his face. He couldn't help not think of her, see her, smell her, taste her, breathe her in, her just her.

"You have Skype? We want to see her." Strickland said.

"Booth looked at the younger man. "I don't and neither does she."

"Well let's see a picture, you have to have a picture." Strickland pressed and Booth smiled. He had one on his computer.

"Tomorrow, I'll show you a picture tomorrow." Booth said.

"We need to get you two hooked up Sarge, she needs Skype. Where is she?" Strickland wasn't finished with the conversation. Meanwhile miles away, Daisy walked into the hut she shared with Dr. Brennan. She expected her to be asleep, good thing she expected the unexpected.

Booth exhaled, "A small Island off Indonesia."

"What the hell? She some exotic princess looking lady?" Strickland asked and Booth chuckled.

"She's one of a kind Strickland. One of a kind."

_That I never wanna...Let go let go let go let go let go let go let go..._

Daisy padded softly over toward her dresser grabbed her pajamas and changed. Every now and then she would glance at Dr. Brennan awake sitting up in her bed. She was fighting tears, and holding them back. Daisy thought she should let them flow, but knew because it was Dr. Brennan there is no way she would. She padded over to her bed and sat on it facing Dr. Brennan. Eventually Brennan looked up into Daisy's apprehensive eyes.

"Did you speak with agent Booth?" Daisy asked a bit nervous of the answer she would receive.

Brennan nodded, "Yeah, yes I did. He had to go."

"He will be back. Did you talk on the phone or did you get another e-mail?" Daisy asked knowing she was treading on thin water.

"I spoke to him by phone. He won't be able to read my messages until tomorrow." Brennan said looking around the room. Daisy nodded in understanding.

"You know, you two remind me of a movie, especially a certain scene." Daisy said laying down staring at the ceiling as Brennan crawled under the comforter again.

Silence linger and Daisy figured Dr. Brennan didn't really care. Then in the dark Brennan's voice pierced the silence, "What movie?"

"It's called The Notebook. Have you ever seen it?"

"No. I have heard Angela mention it before, she said it is a very good love story. Only it seems it's quite predictable and I don't like love stories." said Brennan.

"Oh." said Daisy and Brennan thought a moment. She had made a promise to herself at fifteen, she didn't believe in love. But that had changed, so maybe a love story wouldn't be as torturous as it use to be.

Silence linger again and Brennan heard toss and turn, but she couldn't help herself. She had to know, curiosity always got the best of her. "What scene?"

Daisy smiled in the dark, "The lead character Allie is leaving in a hurry from the man she loves, Noah. Noah tries to cajole her from leaving in her car to stay. He says,

_'Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.'"_

Brennan smiled in the dark because she could see herself leaving, running and Booth saying those words trying yet again to cajole her to stay. "Does she end up leaving?" Brennan wondered.

"She does, but then she comes back to him."

Brennan smiled thinking of Booth and then inhaled composing herself, "That sounds like a movie Angela would like."

Daisy smiled, "Oh yes Dr. Brennan, Ms. Montenegro loves happy endings. When the lead characters are together it's...it's just exactly how it should be."

"I can only imagine." Brennan said holding her pillow closer as she dug her head into it, falling into an imaginary world full of dreams. A place where when she closed her eyes it was exactly like it should be.

_Damn, Damn, Damn,_  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Here, here, here<em>  
><em>I wish you were here (I wish you were)<em>  
><em>Damn, Damn, Damn<em>  
><em>What I'd do to have you<em>  
><em>Near, near, near<em>  
><em>I wish you were here...<em>

* * *

><p><em>I have some ideas stirring...I will take input good and bad...<br>_


	16. With Or Without You

_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_  
><em> On a bed of nails she makes me wait<em>  
><em> And I wait without you<em>...

_...With or without you_  
><em> With or without you<em>  
><em> I can't live with or without you...<em>

_With Or Without You by (the awesome) U2_

I hope you guys like this...um oh well too late here goes...

Brennan was in the shower and she exhaled a deep needed sigh. She needed to call Cam, she had to go home. Plain and simple she couldn't be here in Maluku any longer. She inhaled and got out of the shower as Daisy opened the bathroom door and Brennan quickly covered herself with a towel. "Oh, God Dr. Brennan I'm sorry." Daisy went to shut the door and then reopened it slowly. "Dr. Brennan you are pregnant...very pregnant."

Brennan didn't know what to say she had hidden her pregnancy for almost eight months. She wasn't large and she hadn't gained a lot of weight else where. Plus, she was carrying the child low and wore baggy shirts. She said nothing and the two women stared at each other a moment.

"Whose...?" Daisy started and then stopped unsure of her boundaries in this conversation.

"Agent Booth."

"Does he..."

"No, he doesn't know." Brennan said and Daisy nodded still not comprehending how she hid her pregnancy this long. "Excuse me, I need to make arrangements to go home."

"Oh, yes, of course." said Daisy, getting out of Brennan's way. Daisy was left standing in the bathroom doorway dumbfounded.

Brennan dialed Cam and waited for her to answer, "Dr. Camille Saroyan."

"Hi Cam it's Dr. Brennan, I have booked a flight home. I will be arriving tomorrow."

"Oh, wow. That is sudden. What happened with the dig?"

"Miss Wick will be staying behind. I need to attend to some immediate personal matters in D.C." said Brennan, it was the truth.

"Okay. Do you need a ride home from the airport?" Cam offered.

"That would be very helpful in my situation, but you don't have too. Thank you Cam."

"What time are you arriving I will be there. Besides, what are friends for?" Cam said and Brennan smiled.

"Thank you. I'm scheduled to arrive at five thirty five pm."

"Alright, I will be there. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." Brennan said, realizing she had never noticed how easy it was to take advantage of the meaning of those three simple words. She couldn't say see you tomorrow to Booth.

Brennan realized she had received a new message and she opened her laptop. Booth.

_Bones,_

_Oh, Bones...it's okay to be scared and it's definitely okay to believe in transcendent and eternal. I agree when love is real, it is a scary feeling, one of the most scary things there is, but just remember it's worth the risk. And Bones, you are right. It's always the unsaid words that are the hardest to say and yeah, it's probably because they are the most meaningful. It's the same reason you close your eyes for all of the best things. When we kiss you close your eyes, when you come undone and fall into another world in my arms your eyes shut tight. When dreaming our eyes are closed. I think it's for the same reason. I love you Bones, more than you will ever know._

_Oh, and don't worry I will be home soon and so will you. Don't worry about Marks either, remember what I said about him and about you. You are amazing Bones and I mean it, I don't know anyone like you. You would say because you are the only one on the planet with your genetic make-up. No...I mean with the kind of heart, the disposition you have. People would be lucky to have half the heart you have. Only four more months Bones, four more. We can do it. _

_I love you,_

_Booth_

Brennan smiled and rest her hand on her abdomen, it was a recent habit, new and relaxing. Another connection to him. She saw he was online, she could instant message him. Though, she couldn't tell him in an e-mail. No.

_Booth,_

_Call me. I have to go home tonight. We need to talk, it's very important._

_love,_

_Bones_

She watched as she slid her finger over the flat mouse on the key board and the arrow made it's way up to send on the screen. She clicked it and sighed. She knew she had to go home tomorrow, but figured if she said tonight he may hurry and respond.

It was going on three am and she still hadn't heard from Booth. She sighed, Daisy had quietly left their hut and sat out by the fire, alone. She knew Brennan would want her space.

_See the stone set in your eyes_  
><em> See the thorn twist in your side.<em>  
><em> I wait for you...<em>

Brennan was drifting off when the vibration of her cell phone against the night stand she and Daisy shared brought her out of a deep sleep. She didn't open her eyes but reached for the device in the dark. "Brennan."

"What's wrong?" asked Booth and Brennan sat up. Well, it depended...

Brennan was silent, trying to form words. She couldn't, "I have to go back to D.C and leave the dig. Miss Wick is staying behind."

"Why? Bones? What aren't you telling me?"

Brennan inhaled, "Please don't be mad."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise, just tell me." Booth was sick of waiting.

"I'm pregnant Booth." Brennan's word's hit him hard. A slap in the face, he thought she loved him? What about all of those un-Bones like emotional outbursts about love? "Please say something Booth."

Both people were rendered speechless. "Uh, um...congratulations." it wasn't sincere and Brennan heard it in his tone.

"Booth _you_ are the father." She said softly, now he was really rendered speechless.

His mind raced, she hadn't told him. She was God almost eight months? She was in a fucking jungle and he was in a war-zone...great, peachy-fucking-keen. Because, he knew he would have to wait...another child's birth missed. Bones, the woman he loved was pregnant with his child and she loved him. He wiped at the corner of his eye.

_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_  
><em> On a bed of nails she makes me wait<em>  
><em> And I wait without you<em>...

"Please say something." Bones pleaded again.

"I love you." she heard him laugh into the phone, a slight chuckle. "Really? A little baby Bones?" He sounded happy.

Brennan was wiping at her own face now, but the tears were too many and too fast. She nodded quickly up and down yes and then answered, "Yes, so you aren't mad?"

"God no, no Bones of course not." He just realized she was crying. "Oh, Bones don't cry. Why did you think I would be upset? I would never be upset with you for that. Surprised yes, upset no."

"I didn't tell you until now because you didn't want another child until you were married and with the right person, _the one_."

"Bones, you are the one. You have _always_ been the one." Booth said and Brennan's tears were a steady stream. "I am upset you didn't tell me sooner. Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me and the baby. You would have only worried more about me if you knew I was pregnant." Brennan said and Booth knew she was right, but that didn't make the secret she kept from him right.

"You have a point, but it also would have given me one more thing to look forward too. One more thing to write about, to ask you about." Booth said and Brennan smiled through tears.

"I love you too Booth."

"Do you know the sex?"

"No, Miss Wick just found out I was pregnant today. Not many people know." Brennan said, in reality only one doctor and now Daisy knew. Brennan just didn't want Booth to worry that she didn't tell more people.

"Bones! You needed to tell people! God, are you okay?"

"Are you speaking to me or God?" Brennan asked seriously.

"You."

"I'm not sick Booth, just pregnant. I am fine." Brennan said and Booth ran his hand over his face, through his hair and down the back of his neck sighing.

"I know, I know...I just-"

"Worry."

"Yes."

The line was quiet.

"I got your letters Bones."

"I got yours too Booth, thank you for writing me back." she said and he smiled.

"Of course. Hey Bones?"

"Hhmm?"

"You know I can't come home for four more months and you are nearing eight months now." Booth said heavily.

"I know." Brennan sighed, "I know...and I'm sorry. I would never want you to miss another one of your children's birth's. The fetus-"

"Child."

"That's what I said."

"No it's not a fetus it's a baby."

"Actually,-"

"Actually, it's a baby, okay? Humor me, please? And it's not your fault Bones, don't be sorry. Hey, your going to be a mommy." He said and she looked at the ceiling still not knowing why she did that as she smiled a tear escaped.

"Fine Booth. You do know the baby, can not stay in me for more than nine months. You won't come home for twelve months." Brennan sighed as did Booth. Booth looked to the sky, he couldn't find the moon or a single star, granted it was day time. Still, he liked to see them, they brought him comfort. All there was, was dark clouds rolling in on the horizon.

_With or without you_  
><em> With or without you...<em>

Daisy opened the door to the hut she shared with Brennan. Brennan looked up to the door at the noise of pelting rain outside and whipping wind, there stood a sopping wet Daisy. Her clothes were soaked and she looked like a drowned rat. Brennan locked eyes with her and gave her an odd look. Daisy explained, "It's pouring out, I am not staying out in that storm anymore. The fire is out, the waves are crashing furiously all over the shore. Hell if this doesn't let up, I don't know if you will be going any where tomorrow Dr. Brennan."

Brennan ignored Daisy as she huffed into the bathroom to be rid of her soaking clothes and take a warm shower. "Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I wish you could be here too. It's going to be even harder now." Brennan looked to her abdomen drawing lazy circles while Booth looked up into the now pelting and much needed rain.

"I know, God..._Geez Bones_. I want to be there for you too. I'd do _anything_ to be there, _anything_."

Brennan inhaled, her voice a soft whisper. "I know." Brennan smiled a sad smile as she tried to hold back a tear, looking up toward the ceiling. She failed and felt it trickle down her cheek. "Will you continue to call?" he only chuckled at her.

"Every chance I get, of course I will Bones."

_Through the storm, we reach the shore_  
><em> You gave it all but I want more<em>  
><em> And I'm waiting for you<em>...

Brennan was sitting in first class roaring down the runway now. She looked out her window at Maluku as it became smaller and smaller in the distance. She saw the shore she had ran upon in the rain, after she spoke to Agung. That was the night she found out she was pregnant, after speaking to the little boy. At first she thought her missed period was stress from Booth and her being apart. After finding the doctor on the dig and acquiring a pregnancy test she found she was in fact pregnant. Agung was right, she was one silly lady if she didn't wish on the star.

Now as she flew in limbo somewhere between the sunset and sunrise her hand absentmindedly came to a rest on her abdomen, she smiled glad that she had made a wish. A wish on a bing-tang, bing-tang. A wish on the brightest of stars. She looked across the isle and out of the other window and wondered what Booth was doing right now? Her fingers absentmindedly rubbed her abdomen as she thought. She inhaled sharply causing the teenager in the seat next to her to look up at her. They locked eyes monetarily, the girl smiled a shy smile, Brennan returned it and then looked back out of her window seat.

_With or without you_  
><em> With or without you.<em>  
><em> I can't live with or without you...<em>

She was in love, it was no secret. She had done it, allowed herself to take the risk, carry the burden and spread her wings to soar to heights she never knew exist until now. It wasn't easy. No, it wasn't easy at all, but she had opened her heart up enough. Let her guard fall down to the floor, every last brick had come tumbling down. That night, the night she uttered _not tonight_...the night she realized she had nothing left to lose.

She didn't want any regrets, so she threw her heart out there for the taking; and he caught it with both hands. She smiled remembering the moment she had realized her heart wasn't hers anymore, she had fallen in love. It was nothing she understood, she only knew she wanted him near her, here with her always. It wasn't easy, giving up ones heart but she had done it nonetheless.

_And you give yourself away_  
><em>And you give yourself away<em>  
><em>And you give, and you give<em>  
><em>And you give yourself away...<em>

Strickland walked over to his Sargent Major, he was sitting by himself his head in his hands. Strickland slapped him on the back, "What's up Sarge? Thought we were going to see some pictures of your pretty lady back home."

Booth turned his head to the kid inhaling, he couldn't form any words. She was on a plane right about now. Pregnant. He was here, with someone else's kid. What was Parker going to think? He was going to be a big brother.

"Not now Strickland." Booth was tired, emotionally and physically.

"Got it." Strickland said holding up his hands in surrender and walking backwards away from Booth.

Booth sighed and rubbed at his forehead. It was going to be a long four months.

_My hands are tied, my body bruised_  
><em>She´s got me with nothing to win<em>  
><em>And nothing left to lose...<em>

Booth suddenly rose knowing what he needed to do. "Wilson?" he jogged after his CO. Once he caught up to him Wilson noted the distraught look on his fellow man's face.

Wilson sighed, "What's eating at you Booth?"

"My..." What was she? She could be his girlfriend...of five years.

"My girlfriend, it's...we've been together five years. She just told me she is pregnant, eight months. I've already missed one son's birth..." Booth ran his hand through his short hair exhaling and Wilson looked at him with empathy, he understood the feeling. Though, that's another risk one took. Booth had given himself to Brennan, they had made love and unknowingly to them they had also created life, an extra heart beat. Half him, half her.

_And you give yourself away_  
><em>And you give yourself away<em>  
><em>And you give, and you give<em>  
><em>And you give yourself away...<em>

Cam waited by the carousel for Brennan to meet her. She didn't see her at first, then she took a second glance. Oh. My. God. Brennan rode the escalator down from the second story of the airport to the first. She stood next to a mother in her twenties and her two year old little girl. Brennan watched as the two year old lifted her hands toward her mother and said, "Up Mommy." Brennan's hand came to rest on her abdomen. _Mommy. _She rolled the word over in her head. She was going to be someone's Mommy, she smiled.

"Oh my God. Dr. Brennan, what a surprise." said Cam

"Booth is the father. My luggage is black, that one." Brennan pointed out as the carousel started up.

"Again, Oh My God and that is the icing on the cake."

A child's shriek was heard in the airport and Brennan looked toward the sound along with others. "Daddy!" the two year old Brennan had been standing next to was running as fast as her little legs could carry her toward a man kneeling on the floor in his fatigues, arms wide open. As he hugged the little girl he looked over her shoulder to the woman in her mid twenties and locked eyes with her, they shared a smile. A language only they understood, words only they knew drifted between the two.

Brennan exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding. Then turned and smiled a sad smile locking eyes with Cam who had grabbed her luggage for her, Brennan had been caught up in the reunion.

_With or without you_  
><em>With or without you<em>  
><em>I can't live<em>  
><em>With or without you...<em>

Cam and Brennan were on the interstate driving home, the sun was setting. It was around three am in Afghanistan and Booth couldn't sleep, he wanted to so bad. He needed to see her in his dreams tonight. Though, he just couldn't. He sighed sitting up and getting out of his rack, he walked outside and looked up to the black canopy littered with stars. They were together, in a was sprinkling out, it had eased up from earlier today.

In a way they were. They were still under the same sky. He knew it was going to be hard, really hard. Though, he had faith in her in them. Looking up to the night's sky and into the rain he closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek and he swallowed the others. God he missed her, this was going to be hard, his missed his Parker he missed...and another tear fell. He covered his face with both hands rubbing at it hard like a little boy.

_With or without you_  
><em>With or without you<em>  
><em>I can't live<em>  
><em>With or without you<em>  
><em>With or without you.<em>

Cam had asked Brennan if she needed anything after she dropped her off at her apartment. Cam insisted she help her carry her bags up to her apartment, they had a short stubborn standoff and finally Brennan agreed to let her. Only because Cam said she would tell Booth, Brennan said she was childish. Though, Cam got her way. Though, after Cam left and she unpacked she found herself feeling very alone, she didn't realize how accustom Miss Wick's company had become in Maluku.

She sighed her hand on her stomach she decided to go outside. The sun just went down and some stars were coming out. She took to walking the side walk, but stopped and looked up at the nights sky. She missed him already, how was she going to get through another four months?

There was no moon, but she took comfort in the shining stars...a wish on a bing-tang, bing-tang. She smiled at her memory of closing her eyes in the rain standing on the sandy shore as waves pounded it and wishing on a star with Agung. She would never forget racing along the shore line in the early hours of the morning in the pouring rain.

As she looked up at the stars tonight it started to sprinkle lightly, just barely. The rain made her smile and tickled her skin. Her hand cam to rest gently on her abdomen again, rubbing it. An abdomen which carried an extra heart. But only beat, _only existed_ because of another heart. She smiled, because she had found her dance. She let her hands out to either side of her and spun around in the rain a smile on her face.

_yeah,_  
><em>we' ll shine like stars in the summer night<em>  
><em>we' ll shine like stars in the winter babe<em>  
><em>one heart, one hope, one love...<em>

Brennan lay in bed almost asleep, her hand on her abdomen thinking of Booth. Hoping dreams would take her soon.

Booth yawned waking to the inevitable dawn, and then reality struck him and he laughed lightly. He was going to be a daddy again. He lay in bed a moment collecting his thoughts, what about Parker? He needed to know too, damn war! Damn wars! He knew he wasn't a genius, but he did know one thing for sure, he needed to see her so bad, so bad. He couldn't live with himself if he missed another child's birth. Who would be there for her? He ran his hand through his hair sighing loudly.

_With or without you_  
><em>With or without you<em>  
><em>I can't live<em>  
><em>With or without you...<em>

* * *

><p>okay, so you either really hated or were okay with it...suddenly I have more ideas...like them hate them let me know...oh and 'hope no one will shoot me' haha that review was funny.<p> 


	17. For The First Time

__She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,  
>While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,<br>And we don't know how,  
>How we got in to this mad situation,<br>Only doing things out of frustration...__

___She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,  
>I've got a new job now on the front line,<br>And we don't know how,  
>How we got into this mess<br>is it god's test,  
>Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best...<em>__

_But we're gonna start by  
>Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,<br>Sit talking up all night,  
>Saying things we haven't for a while<br>A while ya  
>We're smiling but we're close tears,<br>Even after all these years,  
>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time<em>...

For The First Time by The Script

It was only nine am on Sunday but Brennan had to get out of the house, she was going stir crazy. The time change from Maluku to D.C made it feel like it was much later and the abrupt halt in stimulation from the activities of the dig mixed with the fact Booth was so far away from her. She was dealing with a lot. She had to face the fact there was a very real possibility he would miss the birth. That she was going to give birth to this child alone. Angela was gone but, at least Cam was here. At least that's what she told herself.

She sighed looking at herself in the mirror, curiously lifting up her shirt and letting her hand come to rest on her bare abdomen. She proceeded to fidget with her necklace and outfit trying to get accustom to appropriate maternity wear for the city, instead of the baggy shirts and pants that she wore in Maluku.

Walking out of the door of the lobby and onto the sidewalk she exhaled. She was back in her hometown, but it didn't feel like it at all. Booth had become home. Hailing a cab, she told the cabbie her destination and they were off. But not without her checking her cell twice before they arrived at Best Buy.

Booth looked at the stars; it was almost a full moon. He was still reeling from the news Bones had unloaded on him. He understood that she didn't want to worry him and he was glad she told him. Though, he still wished she hadn't have waited so long. She had to go through almost her whole pregnancy alone. Booth rubbed at his face and looked up at the brightest star, Bones told him it was a planet. He smiled remembering when they laid on the hood of the car looking up at the stars.

He also knew he needed to get in touch with Cam, he didn't know how. He could shoot her an e-mail. She would retrieve it on her cell and hopefully open it in time. Angela was in Paris and a world of her own. No, no Ange wouldn't be able to help, but she needed to know. What about Parker? More questions raced through his mind and he ran his hand through his hair. Wilson walked up to him, "Sir." Booth said greeting him.

Wilson was silent standing next to Booth as they both look into the night's sky. The two men shared an understanding; Wilson had been through this three times. He had many more deployments away from his wife and kids than Booth.

Though, it didn't seem to matter. If you miss someone and love someone the way Booth did Brennan. The way he wondered of the fragile heart that beat inside of her, a fragile heart he helped to create. There was no comparing who loved or missed the most. No, there was no comparison. Wilson loved his wife and Booth loved Bones and that was that.

Wilson patted Booth on the back, "Be strong Booth. She sounds like she is a smart and amazing woman and it will take a strong unwavering woman to handle us, this…" Wilson motioned around him. He was speaking of the military, how having a significant other back home was hard, draining on both parties.

More than ever was when that significant other carried your child. In a way Booth felt helpless, she needed him now and he could do nothing. Not a damn thing but stare up at the stars and make yet another wish.

It was three o'clock in D.C and Brennan was wandering around the Lincoln Memorial. She had already been back to her apartment earlier to figure out how to hook her computer up to the piece of technology she had bought at Best Buy. Now she stared at her reflection, looking closely at the change that had taken place in her body. She watched as a leaf blew into the pool and looked down farther toward the end of the great pool where a man was skimming the leaves from the pool. A little girl around five and what Brennan assumed to be her brother around seven were walking on the edge of the reflecting pool. The wind carried their tiny voices toward her.

"Joshie, stop cause if you don't I will push you in." Said the little girl.

Brennan watched the little boy grab his sister and act as if he was going to push her in once more. The little girl stopped and turned to face her brother. "Stop!"

"Fine!"

She watched an older girl in her teens walk up to the children. She looked like a babysitter. "Josh! Savvy! Get down now!" Brennan watched as the children jumped off the edge of the pool and ran away from their sitter, giggling. Brennan smiled, the kids reminded her of her and Russ when they were little. Brennan retreated with her hot chive tea to a bench nearby.

Suddenly the little girl approached her. She was an extremely gregarious child as she tilted her head curiously at Brennan. "Where is your mother?" asked Brennan.

"Working, but she works a lot. My older cousin is watching my brother and me." The little blonde pointed toward her older cousin who was disciplining her brother. "She is over there with my brother. They are getting more coffee and tea."

Brennan sat in thought, the little girl hopped up on the bench beside her watching Brennan's facial features as thoughts raced through her already speeding mind. "Did your mom work when you were younger?" Brennan asked on a whim.

The little girl nodded her head yes. It was a fact of life. She had never known anything but a fast paced tight and busy schedule. Brennan nodded in understanding, "What does she do?"

"She is a financial advisor." The little girl rattled the words out easily; this wasn't her first time explaining what her mother did for a living. She didn't really know what she did, but she knew what it was called.

Brennan nodded again. The little girl lost interest in her mother's life; she was more interested about Brennan's. "What do you do? What are you going to call your baby? Do you have tea or coffee? My mom drinks lots of coffee and tea." The little girl giggled and Brennan wondered why.

"I'm a forensic anthropologist, its tea and I don't know what I'm going to call the baby." Brennan said and the little girl chewed on her own small straw.

"I have hot tea too. My brother already drank his." She proceeded to hold her cup up showing Brennan. "My older cousin Maggie got it for me. Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?" The little blonde was swinging her legs looking up at Brennan while she waited for an answer. She had uggs on and her coat was expensive for a child's coat. Though, the outfit was cute and the uggs were practical for the weather.

"I don't know if it's a girl or boy. I see that, what kind of tea?" Brennan tried attempting conversation and found it didn't take much to get her to talk.

"Wild Berry Passion, but the hot kind not like regular."

"Oh, what is your name?"

"Hailey Savannah Markham, but you can call me Savvy. No one ever really calls me Hailey." Savvy said and Brennan put two and two together.

"Is your mother's name Jacquelyn Markham?" asked Brennan.

Savannah held her hands up in exaggeration, "How does everyone always know that?"

"Your mother is a very important person to a lot of people. She has a well known name." Brennan explained.

"So are me and Joshie but nobody knows us." Brennan contemplated the child's words.

"Do you want a lot of people to know you?"

Savannah thought or more of pretended to think as she furrowed her brows and tapped at her lips with her forefinger. "Nope!" she said suddenly holding her hand up with pointed finger.

"Then it doesn't matter, your mother manages a very large business and helps people make important decisions with their money."

"I have a piggy bank and get an allowance." Savvy said proudly, her voice a bit raised as if it made up for something.

Brennan smiled, "That's good, and although I'm sure your mother has college funds set up for your brother and you. It would be wise to save your money."

"I'm not going to college. I'm going to be a zoo keeper or a dolphin trainer." Savvy smiled and Brennan heard her older cousin calling her.

"While I imagine that would be a fun job, it would not bring in a sufficient amount of money to an average household."

Savvy looked at her oddly, "My mommy said I could be whatever I want when I grow up. So I'm going to be a dolphin trainer."

"It's not a wise choice and your mother probably told you that to please you." Brennan said.

"But it's my choice." Savvy said drawing out the word 'choice'. Brennan smiled. Savvy reminded her a little of a young Angela.

"Yes you are correct it is." Brennan said a smile on her face.

"What do you do anyway?" Savvy asked as her older cousin and brother walked up now standing in front of her.

"Hi, sorry I know she is a chatty Kathy." Maggie apologized to Brennan. She knew who Brennan was; she had some of her books at home. Though, she said nothing.

"Why are you sorry? She did nothing wrong, although she is considering being a dolphin trainer for a full time job. I explained it did not pay well and she should reconsider. But I don't see her changing her mind anytime soon." Brennan said.

Maggie smiled, "Yes that is our silly Savvy." Savvy looked up to Maggie with a cheeky smile and then back to Brennan.

"My mom said she didn't care what we grew up to be she would love us anyway." Josh said not caring too much for the pregnant woman on the bench. Savvy only smiled hopping off the bench joining her cousin and brother. Brennan contemplated Josh's words. He was right, she loved their child and she hadn't even met him or her.

"Bye! Oh, wait! I forgot to ask your name?" Savvy said.

"Temperance, but you can just call me Tempe." Brennan said

"Okay, kind like my name." Savvy said smiling.

"Yes, a little like that." Brennan said feeling as if her infrequently used first name was not suited for adults to call her by, but it stirred memories from her childhood. And soon her name would be mommy. Her first name was perfectly suited for children to call her, for their child's future friends. Booth and Parker were the only ones who called her Bones. Brennan was reserved for Angela and Dr. B was what Hodgins called her. She was Dr. Brennan to everyone else and that was too formal for a child.

"Bye Tempe!" Savvy yelled waving behind her as they walked off toward the parking lot.

"Goodbye!" Brennan smiled.

Brennan decided to go home as well it was getting late and the sun was setting.

Booth was still awake, he sighed opened his laptop and pulled out his cell dialing the number on the screen.

"Dr. Camille Saroyan speaking."

"Camille!" Booth was glad he was able to get in touch with her. Glad his e-mail had made it and she was able to respond and give him her number. He needed to know.

"Booth! How are you?"

"How is she?" They asked their questions at the same time.

Cam exhaled, "She is pregnant and she is Brennan. She claims she is fine. I can't believe no one knew until recently."

"Yeah, let's not get into that right now." Booth said.

"Right, of course. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay, Brennan." said Cam sarcastically.

"I miss her, I need to see her. Angela needs to know about the pregnancy, she is her best friend Cam. You have to get in touch with her if Bones doesn't. Also, I have something I need to ask you Cam?"

"Anything."

"Promise me; promise me you will be there for her. Help her; just take care of her and the baby." Booth said looking up at the early morning's sky. His voice cracked.

Cam sighed, "Booth don't be silly you will be able to be here for the birth. Can't you get leave?"

Silence lingered on the line Booth was rubbing at his forehead. Cam inhaled at the very real possibility that Booth may not be able to get leave. A harsh reality ebbed it's way into the back of her mind.

"Oh." Cam said the one word hollowly yet heavy. "Oh, God."

"Yeah…so listen get in touch with Angela and just take care of her. Please…" they were both quiet a moment. "...I love her Cam."

"I know. I know you do. You always have Seeley."

"Don't call me that and thanks Camille." Booth said and Cam smiled she liked to mess with one of her best friends.

"She loves you too Booth, you know that."

"I know." He said, "I know she does. How does she look?"

"She looks good, she is healthy. She has a healthy pregnancy. She told me she scheduled an appointment with her obgyn immediately."

"Thank God. Just promise me you will take care of her, of them even when she fights you and insists she is fine." Booth begged.

"I promise." Cam obliged his wishes, feeling bad for Booth.

"Thank you. I owe you, but I gotta go." And with that he was gone.

Brennan lay in her bed with a heavy heart. She started checking her e-mail messages and munching on some chips when she heard an odd sound and sat up inspecting her computer. She clicked on a little box and suddenly Booth appeared on the screen. She saw herself in a small box on the upper right hand corner, saw herself start to cry.

She quickly checked the audio, "Booth? Booth?"

"Hey Bones! Oh wow!" Booth said seeing her on the screen for the first time. He was seeing her for the first time in eight months. For the first time since her hand slipped out of his at Reagan International airport. Brennan smiled, but was trying to hold back tears. Try as she might they ran silently one after the other down her face. She didn't wipe them away but let them fall. She hated that she got emotional so easily, but at the same time she secretly didn't mind...it was almost refreshing, a release of sorts.

_She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,  
>While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,<br>And we don't know how,  
>How we got in to this mad situation,<br>Only doing things out of frustration_

"How? How did you manage to…"

"A buddy of mine, he let me use it and enter my number, your number." Booth smiled. "You look great Bones."

Brennan rolled her eyes at him in a give me a break and just stop attempt and Booth dropped the complements.

"I'm glad they invented this technology." Brennan said smiling. "It doesn't help the pain of missing you leave me, but it helps to make it less crippling and scary. I miss seeing you only in dreams Booth." Brennan said and Booth was taken aback by the un-Bones like statement. It had to be hormones he told himself.

"I know Bones, we'll get through this." Booth said trying to reassure her, the best he could. Hell, trying to reassure himself.

_Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,_

"Booth?" Brennan's voice was soft filled with longing.

"What is it Bones?"

"I find while I'm excited to become a mother I'm also very nervous. What if…what if I'm a bad mom?" Brennan asked her voice apprehensive.

Booth sighed wanting to take her in his arms, but he couldn't. She was in the states and he was overseas.

"Bones, Bones stop. Remember what I told you? I told you before I even knew you were pregnant that you would make a really great mom. Do you remember why I told you that? I told you originally when I was about to go in for surgery." Booth said desperate for her to remember.

He watched as tears fell from her eyes and she looked up toward the ceiling momentarily out of habit. He saw her on the screen nod yes, quickly. She looked so alone. She was alone. Booth exhaled, "It's going to be okay Bones, I even spoke with Cam today. She will be there with you if I can't."

"But you will ask? You will try, right Booth?" Brennan asked voice strained wiping at tears and ignoring the urge to yell at him for having to ask Cam how she was doing. She was fine. Why did he worry so much about her, she was only pregnant. Well she knew why he worried, partly because it was instinct. She was carrying his progeny. Then there was the whole love thing too.

"I'll try my best." Booth said and Brennan sigh knowing sometimes ones best wasn't good enough. She nodded acknowledging him.

_She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,  
>I've got a new job now on the front line,<br>And we don't know how,  
>How we got into this mess<br>is it God's test,  
>Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,<em>

Brennan cleared her throat, "I miss you Booth."

"I know Bones, I'm sorry. I'll be home soon, I love you."

_Trying to make it work but man these times are hard_

Brennan smiled, "I love you as well Booth."

Now it was Booth's turn to smile at her impishness and big heart.

"Hey Bones, guess what?"

"What?" she said and he watched as her baby blues danced curiously across the screen.

"You're going to be a mommy." He said excited like a little boy and she chuckled at him. She already knew this, but it was fun watching him become excited. It made her happy when he was happy.

"You're happy." She said watching him intently, smiling. She made him happy, and she realized this now. Realized just how happy she made him. While she knew they had created life, she was realizing just how much her life was starting to feel like a dream. A dream, a life which she had thought impossible for the longest time was now coming true.

"Of course I'm happy, we're having a baby." He said and she smiled again, but this time it was bittersweet.

"I wish you were here." She said softly a bit whimsical and out of the blue.

Booth's voice lowered, "Me too Bones, me too."

"I was at the reflecting pool today and ran into Jacquelyn Markham's little girl."

"Okay?" Booth said not knowing who that was or where she was going with this.

"She is five. She told me her name is Savannah, but she said I could call her Savvy." Brennan shifted on her bed getting more comfortable she laid back and moved the computer.

"Woah, Bones you taking me for a ride?" Booth asked as she moved the computer.

Lying on her side she spoke, "No Booth although I could definitely use you right about now. I need to have intercourse and badly."

"Oh Bones, really? Come on give a guy a break!"

"Yes, but I miss you more Booth. I would never seek intercourse elsewhere just because I-"

"Gotcha, I'm glad. Anyway, who is Savvy Markham?"

"Jacquelyn Markham's little girl."

"Yeah, who is that?"

"The branch manager of Merrill Lynch Booth." Brennan responded automatically as if everyone knew the woman. "She is a very well respected woman in her profession."

"Is she?"

"Yes she is."

"What did her five year old have to say?"

"She wants to be a dolphin trainer or a zoo keeper when she gets older. I told her it wasn't a wise choice because dolphin trainers don't make a lot of money and her income would be limited."

"You told a five year old that?"

"Yes, why? I felt it was a vital piece of information she should know. She is a very smart child Booth."

Booth smiled and shook his head slightly, "Nevermind."

"No, tell me. Are you concerned I did something wrong? Do you think I will be a bad mother?"

Booth's facial expression changed. "No, you are going to be a wonderful mother Bones, the best."

Brennan smiled, "Booth?"

"What?"

"Thank you for believing such kind things about me." She said and he smiled.

"Bones, it's because they are true. They are factual, all I say it's true. You _are_ all of those things." He tried his best to reassure her from thousands of miles away.

He could see her forming a response, thinking about her answer, "So are you Booth, but better than me."

He shook his head no and she wiped at her eyes and continued, "Booth, Savvy asked me if it was a boy or a girl today and while I have some interest in knowing I don't want to know until you know. Though, I have scheduled an ultra-sound."

"So you want to wait until birth to find out the sex?" Booth asked or more confirmed.

She nodded yes, "Yes, I just said that."

Booth smiled, "Okay, but let me know how the ultra-sound looks, okay?"

"Okay, and tell me what your CO says and when and if you can get leave."

Booth suppressed a sigh, "You know I will Bones."

"I do not, I can't predict what you do Booth."

"I meant I would not, not tell you Bones. Of course I will let you know. You should already know that I intend to do so as soon as possible."

Brennan sighed with a look of confusion. She looked at Booth oddly, "Sometimes you make no sense Booth."

"_Me?_ What about _you?_" Booth said accusing her of making no sense.

"I always make sense, well not always. It's impossible to always make sense. At least I believe-"

"So, what else did the little girl say?"

"Savvy?"

"Yes."

"She asked if I knew what I was going to name the baby." Brennan said shifting on the bed again, curling up on her side. Her tone had changed, a bit questioning and solemn all at once.

"Do you have any names that you like Bones?" Booth asked still not believing he was speaking about baby names with Bones.

"I don't know…I guess not yet." Brennan took her hand and touched the screen, his face. It was irrational to do so and she didn't realize she had done it. Booth said nothing, but he noticed. She was now in a world of her own lost in thought. He also noticed the tear rolling down her cheek and it took all he had to hold his own tears in, to see her but not be able to hold her…not be able to touch her. Needless to say, it was hard.

His voice was soft, "We have some time to think."

"Not much." Her voice was equally as soft.

"Enough." he countered.

"I miss you Booth...and I'm not afraid to say it now." Another hushed whisper.

He didn't think his voice could get any softer, any lower. He smiled, "Well it took you long enough." She returned his smile through tears. Knowing taking her time was just fine because it was the most meaningful words that were the hardest to say.

_But we're gonna start by  
>Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,<br>Sit talking up all night,  
>Saying things we haven't for a while<br>A while ya  
>We're smiling but we're close tears,<br>Even after all these years,  
>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time<em>

"Bones don't worry I will ask about leave asap, okay?"

Brennan inhaled, "Good. Though, Booth you don't have to worry. I can take care of myself."

Booth could hear her trying to be brave…no…no she didn't have to try. She was, and is a strong brave woman. He just had to try and have the same strength that she possessed throughout these times. He hated her being alone, hated not being able to be there every step of the way.

_She's in line at the DOLE*  
>With her head held high (high)<br>While I just lost my job but  
>Didn't lose my pride<em>

"I know you can Bones, but you shouldn't have too. I should be there with you." Booth countered.

He watched Brennan exhale, "But you can't Booth."

Now she watched as he rubbed at his face, "I know Bones." Booth sighed, "Listen, you need to call Angela Bones. She would want you to call her and you would want her to call you if she were in your shoes."

"We don't wear the same size shoe. I'm a size nine and she is a seven and a half." Brennan argued her point.

Booth chuckled, "I meant if you were her and she was you."

"But she isn't me and I'm not her."

"Just call her, okay?"

"Okay, Booth. I agree she would want to know." Brennan said and Booth exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. Having Angela with Brennan would make him feel better, Cam was great but Angela. Well, she was just Angela. She somehow 'got' Bones and Bones felt safe enough to confide in her. Though, would she be able to be with her? She was in Paris. Everything was so unplanned and frustrating.

"Good, and by tomorrow too." Added Booth.

"Are you telling me what to do?" Brennan asked.

"What? Bones…" Booth started.

His face couldn't fool her, "Boooooth, stop telling me what to do. I am fine, don't worry I will call Angela."

"Soon." Booth pleaded.

Brennan crossed her arms and scrunched her nose at him, "Fine." she said and Booth smiled satisfied with her response chuckling at her, at them.

"What?" She asked smiling almost mischievously.

"Nothing Bones, nothing." Said Booth.

Silence lingers between them. "I like being able to see you." Her admission was soft; the words and unspoken meaning behind them came out of nowhere once more.

"I miss you too Bones."

"Come home now." The words left her mouth quickly, before she was even able to think about what she said the words had left her lips. He watched as the realization of what she said hit her and tears fell at a rapid pace down her face.

_But we both know how,  
>How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,<br>When you pick yourself up,  
>You get kicked to the dirt,<em>

He could do nothing for her, he only watched as she cried alone. He couldn't fix it, couldn't kiss it all better for her like he was supposed to do. Like he wanted too. He smiled a sad smile at her and she smiled a sad smile back at him.

"Maybe…" she cleared her throat, "Maybe, Allie for a girl?"

Booth swallowed un-shed tears and nodded yes in acknowledgment then cleared his own throat, "As in Allison?"

Brennan nodded yes then shook her head no, "I don't like the name Allison, but I like Allie."

"Okay, but why Allie?" asked Booth. Brennan smiled and Booth wondered what was running through that beautiful mind of hers. "What?" he asked.

"I don't want to tell you why now, I will tell you next time. So, you can guess why, like a surprise Booth." Brennan said smiling again. It was odd watching ones emotions go from happy to sad so quickly. Her face was wet with tears, yet she smiled.

"Bones, not fair."

"Life is not fair Booth. I won't tell you until later and I don't like Allison I like a different name, but I like Allie as a nickname. That is if the fe-baby is a girl."

"Allie as a middle name and call her Allie?" He guessed.

"Booth no that is not what I said, I said a nickname. A name out of a sign of affection, like Bones."

He smiled, "What if it's a boy?"

"I don't know yet. Do you have any ideas?" she asked shifting in bed again.

"That bed looks really comfortable." Booth said suddenly.

"It is, but that is not a name." she said smiling knowing that her answer was smart.

"Yes Bones I know. You know what else?"

She shook her head no.

"I want to tell Parker. I think he needs to know."

"Of course Booth, but make sure you can come home first and then I will see if I need to meet with him and Rebecca with or without you." Brennan said and Booth visibly shifted back from the screen and rubbed at his forehead thinking of Bones having to do that alone, without him. She was tough, but she shouldn't have to be that tough.

He exhaled the words slurring them together, his tone an epiphany of sorts. "Yeah, yeah…okay."

"I have no problem meeting with Rebecca and Parker myself if I have too Booth."

"I know."

"Everything will be okay, don't worry." They were taking turns reassuring each other of their unknown future. This time it had been her turn to reassure him.

_Trying to make it work but,  
>Man these times are hard,<em>

Booth needed to change the subject, "Are those Bar-b-que flavored chips you are eating? Damn, Bones. You never eat those, they look good. It must be pregnancy hormones."

"They are very good." Brennan smiled popping one in her mouth. "What have you eaten today?"

Booth only laughed. That was his question to ask her. "Not much, mainly junk food, mre's, stuff here and there but it's all good. I'm so hungry when I get around to eating it that anything taste's good."

"I don't like that." Brennan said.

"What?"

"That you don't get to eat that much while working so hard."

"Don't worry Bones, my diet is sufficient."

"But it's not the diet you would choose." Brennan said and Booth chuckled.

"No one would choose this diet."

"Actually, there are people that are starving not only in Africa but in-"

"I got it Bones."

"I also have apple cider." Brennan said suddenly changing topics and holding up her glass showing Booth, much like Savvy had held her tea up showing Brennan earlier today. Brennan was still very impish like that, a woman yet a girl just the same.

Booth smiled at her actions, "Yum, looks good Bones. Is it cold there?"

"Yes. It looked like it was going to snow the other day." Brennan said and Booth sighed again. They both had danced around the inevitable for a while now. Instead of the inevitable they spoke of nothing and everything…and then Brennan whispered the words. What they both were thinking in the back of their minds.

_But we're gonna start by,  
>Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,<br>Sit talking up all night,_

"What if you aren't there? What if you can't be there with me? I mean I know what happens if you can't…but, I wished on that star in Maluku." Her voice was becoming raised. "I knew it was irrational to do so Booth." She swallowed, her voice now a solemn serious whisper, "Booth, the baby is due in December. Its sad here, the songs on the radio…they are all Christmas songs. Everyone is with their families." she paused and he watched as she thought a moment in silence, "I wished on my fucking star Booth!" she said tears streaming down her face. Her voice was back to a whisper now. "I wished Booth. I did it…and nothing happened. Not one damn thing."

Booth smiled a sad smile through the screen, "Bones, Bones look at me."

She looked at him glossy blue eyes bore into chocolate ones across oceans, skies, and the thousands of miles that separated them. So far, yet so close.

"When we said see you later at the airport. God that was hard...I had to leave you without even a kiss, without a kiss Bones! But how wrong was I? How wrong is that? I didn't leave you without a kiss, no Bones I left you with a hell of a lot more and you gave me a hell of a lot more than just a night. So, don't say nothing happened, because your swelling stomach is proof something happened. The tears you freely cry, your admissions of all you feel...something happened Bones. It happened, we happened this is happening. We are having a baby." Booth said and both fell silent for a while.

"Bones, we created life, _life Bones_. A little girl or boy." Booth started to laugh and this time he couldn't hold back the bit of gloss that shown in his eyes. She didn't hold the tears back either and she absentmindedly reached her hand out and touched the screen again. Her action was hesitant this time, but there was a longing and sadness in her eyes that drew her hand to the screen. To his face...as if maybe just maybe she could actually touch him.

"We'll be fine. It's going to be okay, just promise me you will call Angela soon." Booth said and Brennan smiled retracting her hand.

"I already said I would Booth."

"Just checking Bones. You know what?

"No, what?"

"That apple cider is looking really good." He smiled and she smiled back, chuckling. It was a good night. Neither had laughed in a while.

_Doing things we haven't for a while,  
>A while ya,<br>We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
>Even after all these years,<br>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time._

"It is good Booth. What about Gavin?"

"Eh, I don't know. Trevor?"

"I don't know. Maybe, I will think about it. I'm unsure for a boy."

"Tell me why Allie, Bones."

She smiled a mischievous smile and snuggled deeper into her bed grasping the comforter. "No Booth."

"Come on Bones."

The glint in her eyes shown. "I already said no. Do you want me to call Angela or not?"

"_You_ want to call Angela."

"I don't really care either way." Brennan countered.

"Oh you care, you just don't know it yet." Booth assured her smiling.

"What?" She asked.

"Yeah." He said.

"I would know if I cared." She assured him.

"Okay." said Booth.

"I would Booth."

"Yeah, okay Bones, sure. So, anyway how is Cam?"

"She is good. She solved a prominent case with the green forensic anthropologist and F.B.I agent while we were away."

"Did she?"

"I just said that." The line was quiet a moment. "You changed the subject Booth." Brennan said just now noticing. She was referring to their previous banter over her knowing if she cared or did not care what Angela thought.

"It's easy to do with you."

"Booth!" she scolded him with a smile on her face.

"Yes Dr. Brennan?"

She shook her head back and forth at him and rolled her eyes smiling. She took a sip of her apple cider and exhaled. She hadn't seen him in so long.

_Yeah...  
>Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,<br>Sit talking up all night,  
>Saying thing we haven't for a while,<br>We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
>Even after all these years,<br>We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time_

Now only to see him, but not be able to touch, taste, or smell him…she looked in bed next to her. A place where he belonged, they were both quiet as they just observed, and drank each other in. He watched her. She lay on her side absentmindedly resting her hand on her abdomen. Her head lay on her pillow. He wanted to touch her, to curl up on his side and stare at her like she was doing to him. He stayed sitting up his words a whisper, "Love you."

She smiled at his words. Her unspoken words drifting thousands of miles between the two as she drew lazy circles on her abdomen and absentmindedly touched the screen. They had known each other for so long, years. Though, tonight as they spoke to each other it seemed like they were both allowing the other inside for the first time. Not that they both hadn't been open the night before they had left each other. Hell, Brennan's wall's had fell and Booth was allowed to walk right through. He was allowed the key that dropped the drawbridge to her heart, but tonight was different because they were even more than before.

Their connection stronger, tied by one tiny fragile heart. A boy or girl? Who knew, only time could tell? It was unfortunate that only time could give them both all of the answers they both wanted so badly. Would Brennan call Angela soon like she promised or would she try to prove she was fine and not be what she thought she was; a burden. Would Booth be able to get leave and come home? Would Cam be able to leave her family for the holidays to stay with Brennan if Booth wasn't able to make it? Would they be able to do this? There was only one answer, they had too. They had no choice, so they would do whatever it took.

_ooooo..., yeahh for the first time  
>(ooooo...), oh for the first time,<br>Yeah for the first time,  
>(just now got the feeling that we're meeting...<br>For the first time)_

Brennan saw a figure walk behind Booth and say something to him. She sat up. "Booth?" She saw him frown and then the person walked away.

"Hey, bad news."

"Why? What? What's wrong?" he heard that nervous worry he barely ever had heard in her voice and he hated it.

"I have to go." He said and he watched as her face fell and she swallowed composing herself within five seconds.

"Oh, oh…okay." He watched as she tried to keep her composure and succeeded.

"Okay?" The line was quiet as the two stare at each other engraving one another in the other's mind.

"Yes, I understand Booth."

"Bones...don't worry about me. Just take care of yourself."

"Booth…" she exhaled, "You are the one in a war-zone."

"Please, just promise you will call Angela."

"I already said I would." She said frustrated more with the fact that he had to go, than with him.

"I know, but you are you."

"Of course I am me Booth." She said, he heard her walls building. He looked at her abdomen again.

"Don't forget to tell me why you like Allie." Booth said and she smiled a little. Cursing him for the tear that escaped her eye.

"I won't."

"We'll be okay Bones."

"I know." She smiled half-heartedly at him.

"See you soon Bones."

"See you soon Booth." Brennan touched the screen again, it seemed it had become a habit she was unaware of.

Then just like that the screen was fuzzy and Booth was no more. She noticed her hand against the fuzzy screen, let it linger a moment and then withdrew it resting it on her abdomen.

Booth shut the lab top and cursed himself for the position they were in. He looked up to sky and inhaled wiping at his glossy eyes as a single tear ran down his face. He could only pray she could hold on, that they could hold on. "Damn it!"

Brennan continued to stare at the fuzzy screen her eyes welling with water and spilling over and down her face. Her hand absentmindedly rubbed her abdomen and soon she felt the pillow was wet. She inhaled a shaky breath and slowly closed the laptop.

_Oh these times are hard,  
>Yeah they're making us crazy<br>Don't give up on me baby…_

* * *

><p>Review? Good or bad, again you either like it or hate it and wow! I was very surprised at how many people were okay with my little surprise last chap! Thanks guys! Glad you enjoy :) Oh and yes, this is au so the month we are in is November baby due early mid December. (In the song I changed it to 'front line' where it actually says... got a new job now on the unemployment line). Also, *DOLE is the unemployment line in Ireland.<p> 


	18. Closer To Love

_She got the call today  
>One out of the gray<br>And when the smoke cleared  
>It took her breath away…<em>

_She said she didn't believe  
>It could happen to me<br>I guess we're all one phone call from our knees…_

__If every building falls  
>And all the stars fade<br>We'll still be singing this song  
>The one they can't take away…<em>_

___Oh, it's your light  
>Oh, it's your way<br>Pull me out of the dark  
>Just to shoulder the weight<br>Cryin' out now  
>From so far away<br>You pull me closer to love  
>Closer to love...<em>__

___Closer To Love by Mat Kearney  
><em>__

The sun was creeping up and through the window of Brennan's apartment. She knew she should call Angela. Booth really wanted her too, but she had something else on her mind. She put a hand on her back and stretched uncomfortably trying to get rid of the knot that refused to leave. The weight she was carrying up front was killing her back. She sighed looking at her cell and making up her mind. Angela was six hours behind her anyway, she could wait.

Instead she ate breakfast, showered, readied for the day and then walked into her living room with a huff. She looked around her living room. She had a doctor's appointment with her obgyn today. Then what would she do? Go to work and wander around? Maybe she should go now and visit work and Cam?

No she should do as she originally planned. So she did. She turned her attention to her laptop opening it. It was odd; when she opened it she half expected to see Booth even though she knew she wasn't going too. Later, I will talk to him later she thought to herself as she sifted through her mail.

Daisy yawned as she hung her towel up and opened her laptop. Lance and she had been talking, but it was here and there. She missed him, she did. But she didn't know if he missed her and if so, did he want a relationship or were they going to continue to dance around what they felt and just carry on a physical relationship? She didn't want to do that. No. Not with him because it would mean something, at least it had to her. She sat in her bed setting the laptop on top of her lap, it was warm. She exhaled, no messages from Lance.

Although, ? What did she want? She smiled thinking of Dr. Brennan she missed her company. She clicked her message hurriedly as to open it.

_Miss Wick,_

_How is the dig? How are you doing? I found that spending so much time in such close quarters with you has allowed me to know you a bit better. As it obviously would, and I have come to realize that you were a friend to me in Maluku. Thank you. Though, I did not write you to tell you that. I had a question. You told me of a scene in a movie where the lead characters argue, the woman leaves as the man tries to convince her to stay. She leaves, but she eventually returns to him. What was the name of that movie and what was it that the male lead character said to the woman to try and convince her to stay? Thank you. Good luck with the dig._

_Dr. Brennan_

Daisy smiled, Dr. Brennan was bored. She shook her head and went to youtube to a scene from the movie the Notebook. She found the specific scene she was after and attached the link in an e-mail to Dr. Brennan and sent it. Then she closed the laptop and went to bed drained from the day. It was odd not having Dr. Brennan as a roommate anymore.

Daisy smiled remembering when Dr. Marks found out why Dr. Brennan had left. He and Dr. Olson were speechless. Yes, she was pregnant with her partner's kid. That night, while everyone sat around the campfire Daisy looked at the two doctors with an 'I told you so' look because she knew Dr. Brennan was very capable of love and had a large heart. A much larger heart than Marks or Olson had.

Brennan heard 'you got mail' only a half hour after she sent Daisy the message. She brought her laptop out into the living room and sat on the couch, opening her mail.

_Dr. Brennan,_

_This is the link to the scene. _.com/watch?v=zUZcewEwcmc_. The movie is called The Notebook. The lead character say's "__Well, that's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass. Which you are 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. They have like a two second rebound rate and you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." It's a good movie. The dig is still a bust. I hope you are doing well._

_Miss Wick_

Brennan smiled and copied the link and started to write Booth.

_Booth,_

_This is why I like the name Allie. Booth the lead in this scene is named Allie.__ Please watch it. _.com/watch?v=zUZcewEwcmc_ Miss Wick told me of the scene and while the woman leaves she comes back Booth. I have never seen this movie although I have heard that it is supposed to be good. It is called The Notebook. I like this scene and the words that it entails. At first I didn't like the name Allison that much but now I like it more than Alyssa or Alexis. What about Jace for a boy maybe Tristan or Landon? Owen or maybe Connor? Talk to you later Booth and see you soon._

_Love,_

_Bones _

Brennan sent Booth the message and grabbed her purse. She had made up her mind, she was going into work before her appointment. She wanted to meet the F.B.I agent covering for Booth and the anthropologist who was going out in the field and taking her place for the time being. She shut the laptop knowing Booth was most likely busy anyway. She looked around the quiet apartment and let her hand come to rest on her stomach as she headed out the door.

Booth lay in his rack hopping on his laptop. He smiled reading Bones message, who would have thought? Not only was Bones conversing and getting movie advice from Daisy, but she liked it and wait…wait the movie was a love movie. Booth almost had to laugh. He clicked on the link and watched as Noah yelled in frustration at Allie the lead character begging her to give them a chance…to let them work.

The whole scene was fitting and familiar, Bones was right. Though, Booth liked the _"…you have like a 2 second rebound rate and then your back to doing the next pain in the ass thing." _He also agreed that, "_It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." _He only watched it once. He wasn't going to have one of his boots catch him watching clips from The Notebook.

_Allie._ He rolled the name over, he liked it. Now which full name? He was unsure; but he did know the only boy name he agreed on was Connor. Owen, really? They weren't in Europe. He didn't like Alyssa much, he use to date an Alyssa so that was out. Allison wasn't really that bad if no one called her that. It was plain yes but horrid no.

It was lunch time and Brennan was in and out of the doctors. The pregnancy was healthy, the doctor prescribed more pre-natal vitamins and now she was at the diner eating some apple pie. She was on her second slice. Brennan had stopped by work earlier only to have Cam usher her out telling her she would meet her for lunch later. Cam was late just as Brennan expected she would be.

Cam called later apologizing and saying she would have to cancel. Brennan didn't care at least that's what she told herself. Realizing she may be waiting for a while she had gone back to the house and retrieved her laptop which she now was on surfing the web. She heard a familiar noise and felt a familiar rush in her sternum. She clicked on a box and soon there was Booth.

"Hey Bones." He smiled, but she furrowed her brows.

"Hi, is everything okay?" she asked immediately sensing something was off in his day. She watched as he exhaled and rubbed his forehead.

"I asked Bones, I put in my request and it was denied. I won't be coming home until after the baby is born." He watched her intently as she froze. She didn't blink, time just stopped. He closed his eyes and frowned. "I'm sorry, God I'm so sorry."

_She got the call today  
>One out of the gray<br>And when the smoke cleared  
>It took her breath away…<em>

"No, no. Booth you have nothing to be sorry about. I will be fine." She said assuring him as her mind raced. How? Why? He watched as she inhaled thinking. "I need Rebecca's number so that I can get in touch with her. I will bring my laptop and try you on it…maybe then you will be available to talk with all of us. We need a certain time that I should call you. A set time I will know you are available."

"Yeah, yeah…hopefully, of course…hang on." He said, "Hey Bones?"

"Yes?" she said as tears burned the back of her eyes but didn't fall.

"I like Allie, and I like the reason you like it too." Booth said.

She smiled a sad smile at him and quickly brushed at the corner of her eye. A waitress that had waited on Booth and her for years glanced at her and frowned.

_She said she didn't believe  
>It could happen to me<br>I guess we're all one phone call from our knees…_

"I'm glad that you like it Booth. I had my ultra-sound today."

"Really?" Booth asked excitedly, "How is everything?"

"Everything is fine. I have a very healthy pregnancy. The doctor prescribed me prenatal vitamins even though I was already taking some."

"Shit…" she heard Booth mutter under his breath. "Bones, I gotta go, right now. I will talk to you tonight, okay? I promise. I'm sorry. I will call you or talk to you in some form tonight."

She nodded, yet her facial features were a bit confused as to what was going on with him, in his world.

"Love you Bones, talk to you soon." Booth reassured her.

"I love…" her words fell on deaf ears, before she could get them out the screen was fuzzy. She didn't let the screen linger this time, she didn't stare at it. Instead she quickly turned it off and sighed. Sitting back in her chair and wiping at her eyes. She pushed the last bit of pie on her plate around.

_We're gonna get there soon…_

She realized all at once how final everything was. She was going to have to do this on her own, she needed to meet with Rebecca and Parker and…she exhaled. Oh God, request denied. The two words raced over in her ears. But she, they would see him soon…eventually.

She looked out the diner's large windows to the street. A mother and child were walking by the window. The little girl was holding her mother's hand jumping the cracks in the sidewalk. Brennan smiled as they entered the diner. The little girl continued to hop over imaginary cracks in the diner's floor while she sang something about stepping on a crack and breaking her mother's back.

"Mommy, can we sit up high on the stools? Oh and can I get hot chocolate please?" the little one asked. Her mother picked her up and set her on an empty stool. Her computer now back on Brennan's original research page about a dig in Australia she sighed not interested anymore. Instead she stared at the mother and child. She didn't even notice the waitress walk up to her table.

"When I was a few year younger than you my husband was in Vietnam." She looked at the older woman's soft, yet strong voice. It was Annie, Booth and her usual waitress. She'd been working here for as long as Brennan could remember. Brennan was quiet as Annie continued, "I was pregnant with our second child, Jack Jr." Annie smiled. "You're a strong woman honey. Now eat the rest of that pie. The little one needs it." Annie smiled and Brennan smiled back. They shared an unspoken understanding and Annie walked away.

She looked at the mother and child again the silly song the little girl was singing was stuck in her head. She didn't' even notice she was humming the tune. Brennan looked at her pie and picked up her fork.

_If every building falls  
>And all the stars fade<br>We'll still be singing this song  
>The one they can't take away…<em>

Brennan was wandering around the Air and Space museum when she looked at the time. She pulled out her cell doing what she knew she needed to do. Dialing she waited surprised that she was a bit anxious, it rang once, twice, three times and, "Bren! Sweetie, how were you able to call me?"

"Hi Angela, I'm not in Maluku so it was quite easy. I dialed your cell." Brennan explained.

"What? Why did you return? Was the dig a bust?" Angela asked more questions than Brennan was use to her asking. She was excited on a Paris high, excited to be on vacation.

Brennan sighed and Angela heard it.

"Brennan? Bren what is wrong?" Angela's voice was now serious her excited tone now gone.

Another sigh and then, "I'm pregnant Ange." There was silence, dead silence. It was a repeat of when she had told Booth. "Angela?"

Brennan adjusted her cell holding it closer, harder to her ear. It made her feel as if she could her Angela better, concentrate on only her voice.

"You don't sound happy. How far along are you?" Angela asked and Brennan only exhaled searching someplace in the museum no one inhabited. She needed to be alone as she spoke to Angela.

"Booth is the father. I'm almost nine months."

"Oh my God! Brennan! Why are you just now telling me? Almost nine months? How am I just learning of this?"

"Because I just told you."

Angela sighed frustrated and not wanting to explain simple things to her best friend right now. "Yes, I got that part Bren. I meant why as in what caused you to just now telling me?" Angela asked as she walked out of the kitchen where breakfast was ready for Hodgins and her and up to her room. She was still in her pajamas and she exchanged a glance with Hodgins mouthing "Brennan." Hodgins nodded in understanding and made small talk with some close friends of theirs who had spent the night at the Chateau, while Angela disappeared upstairs. Entering her room she sat on the edge of her bed.

"So, is Booth back yet? Is he on his way?" Angela asked.

Brennan looked up at the millions of fake stars in the Air and Space museum. She didn't cry, but held back the gloss that threatened to spill. She was strong, hell Annie the waitress didn't have any contact with her husband except for letters when she was pregnant. She needed to stop the irrational tears.

"His request for leave was denied. He isn't coming home for another three months. He has to finish up his tour." Brennan said and Angela's face fell.

"Oh Bren." The words Angela spoke were heavy with empathy for her friend.

"I'm fine. I am able to have contact with Booth via Skype. I should be thankful for that…" Brennan sighed and Angela lay back on the bed. "…but I want more." Brennan said in a meek voice.

Angela glanced at the door and thought of everyone down stairs. She couldn't imagine being in Brennan's position. What if it were Hodgins? God. Angela knew Brennan was strong, but all of this was so new to her. All of her emotions were so fragile already, Booth's and her relationship, accepting the idea of love, and now a baby? Angela didn't know how her friend was going to handle all that was being thrown at her.

"I know Bren, I'm sorry. You know what? I'm going to come home, okay? It's going to be okay. I will be there and Cam too. We are family and you are like a sister to me. Hodgins and I will book a flight out today. We've been here long enough and besides we were going to come home in a month anyway." Angela reassured her best friend.

"Ange you don't-"

"Don't argue with me about this you will lose and I'm not going to listen anyway. I love you sweetie and my unborn…wait are you having a girl or boy?" Said Angela and Brennan smiled.

"Thank you Angela. I love you too and while I had an ultra-sound today I don't know. I don't want to know unless Booth knows. It's going to be a surprise."

Angela smiled for the first time in their conversation, "Well I love my unborn niece or nephew already. You do realize I'm making this kid call me Auntie Angela?"

"We aren't related."

"Not by blood sweetie, but you are like my sister. So the child is going to be my niece or nephew."

Brennan smiled, it was getting late she should get home. "I am okay with that."

"Oh god Bren, you and Studley are having a baby! This is so exciting! I can't believe this is really happening!"

"Yeah." Brennan said not yet able to be as excited as Angela could be so quickly. "I couldn't believe it happened either. I should not have been surprised, but I was caught off guard when I learned I was pregnant."

"I bet, Bren I left everyone down stairs and I know they are wondering what happened to me. Plus, Hodgins can only entertain our guests for so long…he is Hodgins after all. Anyway, I will call you later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Hang in there sweetie, we will be back soon." Angela reassured her.

"See you soon Angela."

"Talk at ya later sweetie." And then the line was dead. Brennan sighed walking outside she looked up, it was snowing, barely visible to the eye but it was. She sighed and hailed a cab home.

Angela walked downstairs joining the table glancing at Hodgins constantly. He knew something was up and as bad as it sounds both were eager to be rid of their guests so they could learn what was on the others mind.

When Brennan got home she went through her regular routine of dinner, a shower and changed into pajamas. She thought the warm shower and talking to Angela would help the somber feeling she had go away, but it still lingered. She inhaled a deep breath and plopped down on the couch. It was dark, but not too late. She opened her cabinet and turned on the television surfing channels. Settling on a documentary she leaned back against the couch. She leaned forward stretching her shoulder and back muscles and then gave up finding any sort of comfortable position to sit in.

Soon she gave up on the television and turned the radio on. She left it on the station playing Christmas songs, despite her lack of holiday spirit. First 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' came on followed by John Lennon's 'War is Over' she turned it off and walked into her room. She didn't climb under the covers or lay down she only sat in thought on the edge of the bed. Then all of her thoughts were too many and tears streamed down her face. She inhaled wiping at her face, Angela would be here soon. She told herself trying to find comfort in something, anything.

_I'm gonna get there soon  
>She's gonna be there too<br>Cryin' in her room  
>Prayin' oh, Lord come through<em>

Angela and Hodgins guests left and Hodgins ran up to his wife, "What is up with Brennan?"

"Brennan's pregnant." Angela said and Hodgins asked at the same time.

"Oh My God! Holy Cow!" said Hodgins, and then he realized she was on a dig. Although, his wife seemed happy about this even though she said her best friend was meant to be with Booth. "Wait, who is th-"

"Booth."

"Holy shit! She must be ready to pop." Hodgins said.

"Yes, anyway Booth can't come home for the birth. So, we are going home. I'm booking a flight out today."

"He can't come home?" Hodgins said empathetic, "Not even for the birth of his own kid?"

Angela shook her head no and explained he had tried to get leave, but his request was denied.

Hodgins nodded, "Okay, okay. Do what you need to do, she will need you Ange. You're such a good best friend."

"I know." Angela smiled at him.

Hodgins returned her smile and looked was raining and today was going to be another day full of haze and grey skies. "Let's go back to bed, or do you want to spend our last days seeing more sites?"

"I've seen enough of Paris and I plan on returning so I'm fine with staying in." Angela said arching her eyebrow and smiling.

"Oh, do you now Mrs. Montenegro Hodgins?" said Hodgins and Angela laughed kissing him before they both made their way upstairs.

Brennan picked up her laptop and decided she needed to write Booth more for her tonight than for him. She reminded herself to let him know that Angela and Hodgins would be coming home soon. She sighed into the night, today was one of the hard days.

_We're gonna get there soon_

Booth booted up his computer it was morning. He couldn't believe he was going to miss another child's birth due to war. What were the odds? He had left Rebecca alone when he had Parker and now Bones too. While Rebecca didn't want anything to do with him and Bones did, it didn't make him feel any less adequate as a father to be. He inhaled and exhaled opening his mail and smiled, she had written him.

It was funny just an e-mail from her could light up his morning and lift so much weight off his shoulders. She could turn such a shitty turbulent day into that of a smile. So, it had snowed in D.C today? He frowned he could tell by her letter how distraught she was. He began to wonder and looked to see if she was online. She was and he needed to talk to her, not wanted, needed.

Brennan heard the now familiar noise on her computer and downsized stuff and opened that little box that made her smile.

"Booth." She smiled, but it faded all too quickly.

"I'm sorry I had to leave in a hurry earlier Bones. Some guys came in that ran over an IED."

Brennan frowned worried. Booth never told her about his little run in with one. He didn't want any more stress on her than she already had. "Are they okay?"

"Yeah, if they were seriously injured they would go to Germany. We had a flight surgeon tend to them, but they will be fine. Just some cuts and scrapes." Booth said when in reality the three men had concussions, one guy had a seizure, and all had bad bruises and temporary hearing loss accompanied by restlessness and trouble sleeping. No one worried much about their later conditions.

"I don't like that." Brennan sighed.

"I know."

"No Booth you don't because you aren't me." Brennan said angry with him, wanting to say more to him but restraining herself because she knew she needed to be strong for both of them.

"I'm sorry you're right I don't know."

Brennan accepted his apology silently.

"Booth, it snowed here today."

"I heard, I read your letter." Booth said and he watched her smile as she adjusted the pillows behind her back sitting up a bit more.

"I'm glad." She said quietly and Booth only smiled.

"I'm glad you are happy."

"I will be happier when you get back."

"Me too." Said Booth, "Were you in the diner when I spoke with you earlier?" She nodded her head yes. "Was that pie I saw you eating?" Booth asked in disbelief.

Brennan smiled a thousand watt smile; she looked as if she were guilty. A child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Then she did something that made Booth smile, she giggled. Bones actually giggled…okay it was more of a laugh, but a child's laugh.

"Bones! You were eating uncooked fruit! I must be seeing things." Said Booth and Brennan's smile grew.

"No you are not hallucinating Booth. It was pie, I believe your progeny-"

"Baby."

Brennan sighed at his correction. "The _baby _was craving it. The hormonal changes I'm going through seem to have affected not only my diet but taste buds as well."

"You ate uncooked fruit." Booth teased her.

"I know I did Booth."

"You liked it didn't you?"

Brennan half rolled her eyes at him. "The baby was only crav-"

"Oh you liked it admit it Bones."

"Booooth stop." Brennan whined as she smiled and he chuckled.

"I love you Bones." Brennan inhaled at his words and smiled a sad smile.

"I love you too Booth." They were both silent for a moment, pristine blue eyes locking with dark almond ones from thousands of miles away.

_Oh, it's your light  
>Oh, it's your way<br>Pull me out of the dark  
>Just to shoulder the weight<br>Cryin' out now  
>From so far away<br>You pull me closer to love  
>Closer to love<em>

Neither said a word only stare at each other. Booth spoke first his words a barely audible whisper, "Did you call Angela?"

Her voice was equally as soft, almost as if they were to speak any louder something bad would happen. "Mmhhmm." He was quiet and she continued, "Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"When you come home meet me where we originally said we would meet." Brennan asked and stated all at once.

"Yes Ma'm." said Booth and Bones rolled her eyes and shook her head back and forth at him.

"You are crazy Booth."

He smiled at her, "What did Angela say?"

"She was very happy."

"Is she coming home?"

"Yes as soon as possible. What is that noise?" asked Brennan.

"The wind, it's very windy here." Booth said, they were still speaking in hushed whispers. Besides the wind Brennan could hear voices in the background.

"I imagine it is. It was windy here today as well."

Booth smiled at her and Brennan's eyes lit up. "Oh! The ultra-sound, did I tell you I had it? You asked me to inform you of when I had it and I had it today."

He didn't remind her that she had already told him earlier today, she was so excited. Her eyes reminded him of the same blue his mother's eyes use to be, maybe that's why he liked blondes. They usually had blue eyes. Though, it's not why he loved Bones, her baby blues were just an added bonus. He and Jared had inherited the brown eyes from his father. He never did like brown eyes much because of that.

"I don't recall and if you did then I wasn't able to hear you." He said just in case she remembered she told him. He didn't' want her to think he had forgotten something that was so important to her, to him.

"The baby is healthy and my pregnancy is right on track. My doctor gave me some pre-natal vitamins even though I am already on vitamins. Although, I surmise that is to be expected." Brennan said. "You look happy again."

"Very happy Bones." He said still in awe by the way she pulled him out of the dark and into the light from thousands of miles away. Brennan smiled and then let it fade away, he could see her thinking of something.

_Meet me once again  
>Down off Lake Michigan<br>Where we could feel the storm blowin'  
>Down with the wind…<em>

"Booth Angela was able to get so happy so quickly when I told her. I don't feel that happy. I can't seem too yet. I know you say that I will be a wonderful mother, but when I'm not even able to get excited as my best friend is of my own pregnancy. I feel as if you are wrong." Brennan said.

"Bones, no you are wrong. You have a lot going on and Angela is on holiday in Paris with no worries. You are allowed to feel that way." Booth said reassuring her although it killed him to know that is how she felt.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"How do you know?"

"Because I just know Bones."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Neither does love yet you believe it exists."

Brennan exhaled and was quiet again. Absentmindedly she touched the screen, Booth still wondered if she even realized she did it. "I wish you were here Booth."

Booth frowned, "I know baby, I know. I will be there as soon as I can."

"I wish…nevermind." Brennan said not wanting to upset Booth. She was supposed to be strong.

"No, tell me." Booth prodded.

"It's nothing. Wishing is irrational anyway."

"Bones, it's not nothing. I know you." Booth sighed and Brennan locked eyes with him exhaling, "You can't come home." Her words were so soft and meek he couldn't hear all of them. Though, he knew exactly what she said, all he had to do was look in her eyes.

The tears started and Brennan wiped them away, but there were too many and too fast. She gave up wiping them away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Booth I shouldn't have said anything. I know you want to be here as well." She rubbed at her face and exhaled.

"No, don't you apologize. Bones, it's not your fault and its okay to wish that." Booth said as he watched her tears fall faster, freely down her porcelain face. Porcelain teddy bears weren't supposed to cry, they were supposed to be happy. Booth watched as his very own porcelain teddy bear wiped at her face.

_And don't apologize  
>For all the tears you've cried<br>You've been way too strong now for all your life…_

"Hey, hey Bones look at me. I'm going to be home before you know it and Angela is going to be there any day now."

She nodded her head yes. He was right, so why was she crying? She was happy she was talking to him. She knew that is was what it was. Shit happened. She learned that lesson again and again throughout her whole life.

_I'm gonna get there soon  
>You're gonna be there too<br>Cryin' in your room_  
><em>Prayin' Lord come through<em>

"I know, I'm sorry-"

"Don't."

She nodded yes and smiled her tears subsiding. Booth knew a subject change was needed. "Bones, tell me about the little girl in the diner."

Brennan smiled she had mentioned her in her letter to him. "She was jumping cracks in the sidewalk and singing a song. I remember the song from when I was a child Booth. Russ and I used to sing it.

"What was she singing?"

"I forget how it goes, something about step on a crack and breaking your mothers back. It's a very odd song, it makes no sense." Booth watched as she smiled and laughed lightly, "…though I've had it stuck in my head ever since I heard her singing it. I was singing it in the shower." She admitted softly.

Booth chuckled at her, oh Bones. "Hey Sarge, who is that? Is that your Indonesian princess?" asked Strickland. Booth looked up to the young man as Brennan's big baby blue's looked at Strickland and Strickland looked at her.

"Booth what is he talking about?"

Booth rolled his eyes, "Nothing Bones."

Strickland sat next to Booth disregarding Booth's disapproving glances, "He told us his girl was in a small island off Indonesia. So, I thought you were some exotic princess or something."

"I'm not his he does not own me, and I'm a woman not a girl." Brennan addressed Strickland.

"You're pregnant with his kid and you are all he talks about. Well he talks about you a lot anyway, more than most guys talk." Brennan smiled inside at this statement.

Booth spoke up, "You guys just want to carry on yourselves? Should I leave?"

"No. Don't be ridiculous Booth. Why would I want you to leave when I have said multiple times that all I want is you here?"

Strickland chuckled at Brennan, "Yeah, you are his." Brennan made a face glancing at Booth. Booth was smiling from ear to ear inside. Strickland stood up and Booth moved back to his original seat in front of the computer screen. Then he heard Strickland's announcement. "Hey guys! Sarge is talking to his Indonesian princess, come say hi!" Booth groaned as some of the guys heads turned and they stood walking over to Booth, Strickland and Brennan.

Brennan smiled and said hello to the guys Booth introduced her too and they told her congratulations and asked if there were any single exotic women in Maluku. Brennan told them no although she did meet a child around ten and she wasn't sure if her roommate was single or not, but she was not a native anyway. Soon the men left and it was just Brennan and Booth again.

"They are funny Booth."

Booth laughed, "Yeah real characters. They are a good bunch of kids."

Brennan smiled and yawned, "What full name for a girl did you like?"

"Any of them, but Alyssa."

"Why not Alyssa?"

"I dated an Alyssa."

"Oh."

"I didn't think Allison was that bad." Booth said unsure if he should name his child a name he decided, 'wasn't that bad'.

"I agree, but I still am not one hundred percent sure of a name. What did you think about the boy names?"

"Connor was the only one I liked."

"You are very picky."

"Me?" Booth scoffed.

"You are the only one I'm talking too. Everyone else left Booth."

"I like it that way." Booth smiled at her.

Her voice was soft again as were her eyes, "Me too."

_We're gonna get there soon_

"You are very easy to talk too but at the same time you are very difficult to talk too." Brennan said meaning Booth was easy to shoot the breeze with yet hard to understand all at once.

"I think thank you Bones and ditto."

Brennan chuckled and then her face scrunched up and she leaned forward. She looked like she was in pain, oh God? Was she going into labor? "Bones!"

"What Booth?"

"Are you okay? Why did you make that face? Did you just move your hand to your abdomen?"

She almost laughed at him but instead shook her head at him, "Booth I was only surprised. I'm in no pain. The baby kicked, he or she is very active right now."

She watched as he exhaled, "Oh." Then he smiled, "The little guy is kicking, eh?"

"A lot lately. I'm in my third trimester Booth, the baby is very active right now." Brennan moved her hand, "Yes, the baby is very active and seems to be more so at night."

Booth watched as her face lit up, "Oh I'll be right back Booth I have an idea. Don't go anywhere okay?" He smiled at her little girl expression, it was much like Savvy's when she held her pointer finger up and told Brennan she didn't want anyone to know her.

He chuckled, "Okay."

Soon she was back with a small glass of water. She moved the computer screen so Booth could see her abdomen as she lay down. Then she set the glass of water atop her swollen abdomen. "Are you able to see the glass?" He heard her ask as he watched the water ripple every now and then.

"Yeah, yeah I can see Bones." He said smiling.

"When the water ripples is when the baby is kicking. This way even though you may not be able to feel the baby's kicks, in a way you can experience them." Brennan said and Booth held the gloss in the back of his eyes back. God she was amazing and thoughtful, so thoughtful.

"Thank you Bones. You are amazing." He said and she smiled staring up at the ceiling.

_Oh, it's your light  
>Oh, it's your way<br>Pull me out of the dark  
>Just to shoulder the weight<br>Cryin' out now  
>From so far away<br>You pull me closer to love  
>Closer to love<em>

"Thank you Booth. That is very nice of you to say."

"Hey Bones?"

"Yes?"

"You are my girl."

She was silent a moment contemplating, she took the glass off her abdomen set it on the nightstand and sat addressing Booth. "I assure you I'm no longer a girl Booth, you out of all people shou-"

"Bones, you are the most childlike and impish adult that I know."

"That is not very nice Booth."

He sighed, "I meant it as a complement. Having a child's heart is a good thing Bones. Children are pure of heart and innocent." He was still surprised she hadn't told him that she was not property.

"I'm not that innocent." Brennan said and Booth chuckled.

"Not like that Bones. While you have your own sad story like everyone else, your falls, cuts and scrapes that life has dealt you. You still amaze me at how you remain almost naively innocent Bones."

"Booth! I'm not naïve! That is not very nice." Brennan said sounding like a kid as she said it.

"It's a good thing Bones."

"If I had a heart the size of a child I would most likely be dead. How is that good?"

"Metaphor Bones, metaphor."

"Oh…ohhhh. I understand." Booth smiled, he loved her. "Atta girl Bones." He said and watched as Brennan's wheels turned.

"When you said you loved me in an atta girl way…after you had your surgery. You actually meant you loved me, didn't you?"

Booth exhaled, "Yes."

_Cause you are all that I've waited for all of my life_  
><em>(We're gonna get there)<em>  
><em>You are all that I've waited all of my life…<em>

"Then why did you say in an atta girl way?" Brennan asked.

"I was scared."

"We have come a long way, emotionally I mean." Brennan said in a very un-Bones like statement.

"A lot can happen in a year." Booth said and Brennan smiled.

"I love you Booth."

"I know and that is surreal to me. All of it, you me and a baby."

"I assure you its very real." Brennan said, "Being pregnant is extremely uncomfortable especially in the last trimester."

Booth chuckled, "Hey Bones?"

"Hhmm?" Brennan said sleepily as she lay on her side talking to Booth.

"I have to go." Booth said and Brennan's eyes fell from Booth's eye's to her abdomen and then met his eye's again.

"I understand."

Booth sighed, he wanted to hold her close and lay in bed next to her. "Remember to tell me when Angela arrives."

"I will Booth." Brennan said sleepily.

"See you sooner than later Bones."

"Sooner than later." She repeated back absentmindedly letting her hand wander to the screen and touching his face but only feeling the flat smooth computer screen. Then he was gone and her hand rest against a fuzzy background. Curled up on her side she stared at the glass sitting on her nightstand.

_You pull me closer to love  
>Closer to love<br>Pull me closer to love (You are all that I've waited for)  
>You pull me closer to love<br>Closer to love  
>Closer to love (Cause you are all that I've waited for)<br>Closer to love…_

Brennan shifted under her comforter trying to get more comfortable. She looked to the empty space beside her. Soon she thought as she fell out of reality into a dream world. She smiled as she fell asleep in his arms. _"Just hold me ten more minutes Booth…."_She mumbled aloud into her dark room as she slept.

_Pull me closer to love…_

* * *

><p><em>Please Keep our troops in your prays! Some of us aren't getting our family or friends home for Christmas and yay for those who are! The youtube links for The Notebook scenes are actual links and will bring you to that scene. I'm unsure how you guys will like this chapter I thought it was just, eh...and I will try hard not to kill anyone off ha<br>_


	19. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
>Make the Yuletide gay<br>From now on your troubles will be miles away, oh_…

_Here we are as in olden days  
>Happy golden days of yore, ah<br>Faithful friends who are dear to us  
>They gather near to us once more, ooh…<em>

__Through the years we all will be together and  
>If the fates allow…<br>Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, oh yeah, oh  
>And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, oh, oh…<em>_

___Through the years we all will be together and  
>If the fates allow, oh yeah<br>But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow, oh yeah, oh, oh  
>And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, ooh yeah, oh, ooh… <em>__

___Have yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Frank Sinatra  
><em>__

Brennan sighed as she waited one ring…two…three…fou- "Hello?"

"Rebecca? It's Temperance Brennan."

"Temperance?" Rebecca repeated just to be sure. She knew Tempe was in Maluku, her call worried Rebecca. Did something happen to Seeley? Oh God.

"Yes, it's me. I need to speak with you, it's rather important." Brennan said and Rebecca inhaled.

"Before you say anything else is Seeley okay?"

Now it was Brennan's turn to inhale, "Yes, I thought Parker spoke with him just yesterday."

"Yeah, yes he did it's just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't know why else you would be calling me seeing as how you are in another country working. I know Seeley is your best friend and I guess I figured you were in his SGLI (military will) as well and if something was wrong I would be hearing from you." Rebecca said and she was right even though Brennan told Booth not to put her in his SGLI he did. She knew Parker was as well as Rebecca, but didn't know or want to know the details of the paper.

"Booth is fine. I spoke with him last night as well. I'm not in Maluku anymore, I'm home."

"Oh, is everything okay?"

"I need to speak with you and Parker. Can you meet me at the Royal Diner or at my house tonight for dinner at ten o'clock?" She had received a message from Booth and he would be able to speak to the three of them at that time. In a way he would be there to see Parker's expression.

"Why? Is everything okay?" Rebecca asked and Brennan knew she should tell Rebecca to prepare her so as to keep Parker's reaction on the good side.

"I'm pregnant, nine months." Brennan said and there was a brief pause of shock as Rebecca gathered her words. "Booth is the father." Silence lingered as the women listened to one another breath.

"Oh, congratulations Temperance, I always knew Seeley loved you. So, you want to tell Parker?" Rebecca's voice was still hesitant and full of shock.

"Yes. Booth can skype us at ten our time tonight so he can talk with Parker as well…he would like to be included."

"I will call you before I come and Parker would love to be able to see Booth. Let's meet at your house what is your apartment number?"

"It's twenty four a. I will see you tonight at ten." The date was confirmed, good.

"See you tonight. Are you craving anything in particular for dinner? Want me to pick something up on the way or…?" Rebecca said and Brennan smiled wondering if her attempt to go out of her way was only because she was carrying Parker's half brother or sister.

"Does Parker like Thai?" Brennan wondered.

"Not a huge fan, but he will eat it." Rebecca sighed as she sat in a stand still of crazy Christmas traffic.

"Do you like it?" asked Brennan.

"Thai is fine . Do you need me to bring anything else?" Her tone was clipped and short, impatient with traffic and a crazy Friday. Thank God it was Friday.

"I'm going to pick up some dessert do you two like apple pie?"

"Yes, yes he does." Rebecca smiled, so Temperance craved it as well.

"See you tonight Rebecca." Brennan's mind raced as she played what would come of tonight's future events over in her mind. Then she heard the dial tone. It brought her back to reality and the present.

"See you tonight Temperance." Rebecca tried to comprehend what Temperance had just told her as she set her cell down on the passenger's seat. She mumbled under her breath, "Well Parks, daddy got you a big present this year."

It was noon and Brennan was waiting in the corner booth for Angela who had arrived in D.C early this morning. She sipped at her warm tea and sighed. The diner was decorated for Christmas and Christmas music was playing throughout it. Despite her lack of holiday exuberance she smiled bittersweet at some of the waitresses wearing red Santa hats.

_Oh yeah, mmm  
>Have yourself a merry little Christmas<br>Let your heart be light  
>From now on your troubles will be out of sight, yeah…<em>

She wondered of Booth and his day. She watched a little boy eating some apple pie which had lots of whip cream on it. She was excited Angela was home, she wasn't ready to admit it yet, but she would worry a lot less because she was here. She loved Cam and was grateful for her presence, but Angela was her best friend. There is nothing like a best friend, nothing.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
>Make the Yuletide gay<br>From now on your troubles will be miles away, oh_…

Angela made her presence known as she walked into the diner and scooted into the booth beside Brennan, "Sweetie! Oh my God!" Angela said as she embraced her friend in a tight hug. She was surprised Brennan hugged her back so tightly and held her embrace longer than normal.

"Wow! Bren, you are so…"

"Large? Yes I'm aware my pregnancy is quite far along. I am in my third trimester Angela and as an adult woman you should know I am eating more now to provide for the baby." Angela only smiled at her friend and moved to the booth across from Brennan.

"When are you due?"

"In a couple of weeks."

"What! Oh my God that is so…so soon."

"Yes, I have felt that way for a long time now. Everything feels very sudden and rushed."

"I can't even imagine sweetie. How have you been?"

Brennan sighed and smiled a sad smile her voice now quiet and soft, "I miss him." Angela only smiled the same sad smile at her friend.

Brennan frowned, "I miss him Ange…" Brennan looked away from her friends eyes. "...and this…this whole…it's hard." Brennan said with a frown looking at Angela again.

Angela's voice was soft yet strained with her point, "You love him Brennan. It's hard to be separated from a loved one, especially during Christmas." Angela said and Brennan nodded in agreement as the two best friends shared a silent understanding only best friends do.

Angela grabbed Brennan's hand across the table and squeezed it. Tone now low and serious, "Bren, you know I am here for you. For anything you need…" Angela squeezed her hand again, "Anything Sweetie, and Hodgins is too. He is an odd one, but he has the biggest heart of any man I've ever met." Angela smiled and Brennan nodded yes and Angela released her hand.

"Booth said I…I have a very large heart muscle, larger than most people give me credit for."

Angela smiled, "God I love that man. If anyone else said that to you it would be a line, but it's Booth and yeah Bren he is right." a more care-free happy tone.

"You're in love with Booth too?" Brennan didn't notice she had said too.

Angela smiled, "Not like that sweetie, I love Booth as a friend because he is a good person and because he loves you. I love Hodgins, which is why I married the man."

"Oh."

Annie the waitress came over and took Brennan and Angela's lunch order and refilled their drinks. "Oh, sweetie it's so good to see you." Angela reiterated to her best friend as she sipped at her hot chocolate.

"I'm glad you are here as well Angela." Brennan smiled.

The two friends talked of their time apart. Angela told Brennan of Paris and all she saw and did, and Brennan told Angela she never did discover anything that changed mankind in Maluku, but she discovered something she now considered much more important. She believed in transcendent and eternal now…believed love existed.

Soon noon turned into late evening and the woman were ordering their second helping of warm apple pie. Annie watched periodically glancing at the two best friends as the hours flew by. She watched the best friends as they laughed, smiled, frowned, cried, and were lost in moments of silent understanding that only best friends shared.

Annie smiled reminiscing of times long ago when she was pregnant with her kids and her best friends and she would spend hours on end together as their husbands were away. There was nothing like having dear friends, friends one considered family.

Brennan glanced at her watch and her eyes became wide. The two best friends had lost track of time, it was now dark and six forty five. "Oh my God, Angela it's six forty five."

"Are you serious?"

"Why would I lie about the time?" Brennan asked confused and Angela only smiled shaking her head at her best friend.

"I need to get home. Rebecca and Parker will be there at ten."

"Of course, and I need to get home to Hodgins." Angela stood getting out of the booth and Brennan followed. The two women hugged and walked out of the diner together waiting on separate cabs. Angela climbed into one, "Love you Bren! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow." Brennan repeated back as the cab drove away with her best friend. Brennan sighed her breath was visible in the cold. She opened the door to her cab balancing the apple pie she got to go. She held it on her lap in the back seat, it was warm. She sighed glad her best friend was home.

_Here we are as in olden days  
>Happy golden days of yore, ah<br>Faithful friends who are dear to us  
>They gather near to us once more, ooh…<em>

Once home Brennan lit some candles that smelled like cinnamon and some more that smelled like Christmas trees. She decided to put on Christmas music too, Parker would like it. She made hot chocolate and debated having another piece of pie, then decided to wait.

Though, as the hours passed and nine o'clock rolled around she brought her laptop from her room out to the dining room setting it on the table. She opened it checking mail and surfing the web, until she heard that familiar sound and felt a warmth rise up in her sternum.

"Bones." Booth smiled as did Brennan.

"Hello Booth, how are you?"

"Good, I'm good. How are you?"

She smiled, "Good…" today was one of the good days. "…Oh you told me to tell you when Angela returned and I had lunch with her today. She returned to D.C along with Hodgins early this morning."

Booth smiled glad Angela was there, it lifted a weight off of him knowing her best friend was with her. Brennan wasn't ready to admit it yet, but Booth had been right. She had wanted to tell Angela and have her with her, even if she said she didn't. It would make everything a lot easier.

"How is she?"

"She is very good. She enjoyed Paris tremendously."

"Booth looked at Brennan's expression. "What aren't you telling me?" he eyed her.

"Fine." damn he knew her well. "You were correct, I did enjoy telling Angela and I am very happy she is here." She said and Booth smiled happy for her.

"Told you."

"Booth, I knew I did not need you to tell me I just…"

"Didn't want to admit you needed your best friend." Booth smiled at her.

"Booth?"

"Hhmm."

"Shutup." Booth laughed at her words.

"Were you able to get in touch with Rebecca?"

"Oh, yes. They should be here in a half hour, maybe less. Parker does not know he will be seeing or talking with you."

Booth smiled. "I love you."

"I love you as well Booth." The two were silent a moment as she smiled at him bittersweet. Booth heard a familiar ring tone and watched as Bones answered her cell.

"Brennan. Hi, Rebecca…okay so about fifteen minutes? Yes, I am talking to him now, he is very excited. A Tofu wrap. Yes. No that's fine…umm, yes thank you. Alright see you soon." Brennan said and Booth watched as she ended the call.

"That was Rebecca. Parker and she should be here in fifteen minutes or less." Bones said and Booth smiled.

Rebecca pulled up to the curb and looked at ten year old boy in the backseat that just yesterday was a toddler. "Parks, I'm just going to run in real quick and pick up some Thai to go. Come in and pick out what you want."

"Mkay." Parker said yawning.

Not ten minutes later Brennan got up and answered her door to find Rebecca and Parker weighed down with bags of take out so he wasn't even able to see where he was going or that she was pregnant.

"Hi Dr. Bones." Parker said even though he wasn't able to see her.

"Hi Parker, hi Rebecca. Parker you can set that down on the counter. Rebecca started over toward the counter and Parker followed his mom. Setting down the bags he turned around to say hello to Dr. Bones.

Both women watched Parker's eyes grow wide. "Oh my Gosh! Dr. Bones you are pregnant!" Parker was shocked and excited all at once.

"Yes I am and I have something important to tell you."

"What?" anxious, excited.

"You are going to be a big…" But Booth couldn't wait anymore and finished for Brennan making his presence known.

"Big brother! Parks, you get to be a big brother." Parker didn't listen to the words that came out of the voice. Instead he turned toward the voice and upon seeing Booth, his eyes lit up and he ran over to him. Parker quickly sat down in the chair Brennan was sitting in not long ago.

"Dad!" Parker smiled and Rebecca looked at her son smiling as she filled her plate.

"Parker?" Rebecca called and Parker tore his eyes away from his father to look at his mother now sitting on Brennan's couch.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear what Temperance and your Dad said?"

"No, what?"

Rebecca was quiet and glanced at Brennan winking at her. Brennan walked up next to Parker and put her hand on his shoulder. Parker looked up at her from his seat on the chair. "You are going to be a big brother. Your dad and I are having a baby."

"Are you okay with that bub?" asked Booth and Brennan eyed Parker waiting on an answer.

There was an uncomfortable silence and the adults exchanged worried glances. "What! Are you seri..? Huh! How!" Rebecca looked up, Parker didn't sound too happy about this.

"Parker it's a good…" Booth started off in a comforting tone as Rebecca and Brennan watched them both intently.

Suddenly, Parker started laughing. "I was just kidding." Brennan and Booth exhaled and Rebecca rolled her eyes at her silly boy. "I mean I'm pretty sure you and Dr. Bones have had sex before and that is what makes a baby so, this is pretty cool." Rebecca choked on her food and reached for her diet coke gulping it down. Booth swallowed and Brennan turned to address Parker.

"Actually Parker…" Brennan started and Booth's eyes widened. Oh Lord, redirect…redirect….he did not need Bones telling Parker of their sex life. He could still hear Rebecca coughing in the background in shock of their son's words.

"So, Parks does Bones have a Christmas tree yet?"

Parker looked around and frowned, "Nope."

"Well it looks like you have a job to do bub. You need to help her pick out a special one."

"I will."

Booth smiled at his son, "And remember to check it over for holes. Get a nice full one bub."

"I will Dad and I will help take care of the baby too. Is it a girl baby or boy? Wait, are you gonna be here when the baby is born?"

"Nah, bub have to wait a little longer and we don't know yet. We won't know until the baby is born. It will be a surprise."

"How come you didn't get one of those picture things?"

"I don't know what that means." Brennan said exchanging a glance with Booth.

"A sonogram." Booth told Brennan.

"Oh." She understood glad of the clarification. Parker looked up to Brennan as she answered. "I received one to make sure the baby was healthy. But they did not tell me if the child I'm carrying is a boy or a girl." Brennan said addressing Parker and shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

"Why not?" Parker wondered.

"I didn't want to know unless your dad was able to know at the same time. He shouldn't be left out just because he is overseas." Brennan said and Rebecca glanced at the trio, Brennan had a big heart. It was sad Seeley was going to miss the birth of his little girl or boy. He almost missed Parker's, well he missed the birth, but had gone AWOL and was able to be there to hold him shortly after for a few minutes before military police took him away to the brig.

"Oh." Parker said addressing his dad.

"Do you and Mom have a tree up yet?" Booth wondered and Rebecca glanced up again as she took another bite of rice.

"Yep, we decorated it and everything. We have our lights up too. Dad, are you going to be here for Christmas?" Parker asked hopeful.

Booth frowned, "I'm going to try bubby."

"You aren't even going to be here when the baby is born." Parker whined, "You aren't trying hard enough. Christmas is in three weeks!"

"I know bubby, it's not my choice." Booth explained, but Parker wasn't use to deployments like Wilson's kids or some of his other buddies kid's. He didn't understand deployments were what they were and, that was that plain and simple.

"I'm sorry Parks." Booth frowned, "Guys I hate to cut this short, but I have to go." Something had come up.

"What! Why? Now? Are you sure Dad?" Parker was visibly upset as he shouted and his eyes stung with unshed tears. Rebecca looked up setting her plate down she walked briskly over to the trio and put her hand on her son's other shoulder. Brennan and Booth exchanged a glance, sad eyes, heavy with emotion.

"Hey, I will talk with you again soon."

"No! Now. Can't you stay a little longer…please…?"

_Through the years we all will be together and  
>If the fates allow…<br>Hang a shining star upon the highest bow, oh yeah, oh  
>And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, oh, oh…<em>

"Parker you can come over to my house anytime you want and talk with your dad, okay?" offered Bones.

"That won't make it better, it's not good enough." The boys face was red though he shed no tears, Brennan knew how he felt. Rebecca looked on feeling helpless for her baby boy.

"I love you guys. I love you Parks and send me a picture of your tree at home and the one you pick out."

"I love you too." Parker mumbled.

"Hey, I'll talk to you soon bub."

"Talk to you soon."

"I love you Bones."

"I love you as well Booth. I will talk with you soon, we both will."

Then just like that, Booth was gone and Parker stared at a blank screen. The tears came and Rebecca kneeled down to her son's level opening her arms. Still in the chair Parker leaned into his mother's open arm's. He wrapped his arms around his mother's neck and cried into her shoulder. Rebecca looked up over Parker's shoulder to Brennan who was rubbing his back and the two women exchanged sad glances.

_Faithful friends who are dear to us  
>They gather near to us once more, oh, oh<em>…

After some soothing words from his mother and Brennan Parker's tears subsided. The trio was now on the couch finishing the last bit of warm apple pie. Parker was goofing around on the floor in between the coffee table and couch Rebecca and Brennan sat on. Brennan was laughing at Parker's jokes, jokes that Rebecca had heard a million times.

Rebecca smiled inside as she watched Brennan and Parker interact. Brennan was going to be a wonderful mother, she was eccentric, God yes she was and she did not get her. Though, she had a very large heart. She smiled to herself again because she had a feeling one day she was going to make a very good wife too.

While Rebecca knew Brennan and she would never be best friends. Rebecca also realized, Brennan was having Parker's little brother or sister and soon they would both have children by Seeley. They were forever linked and she would never separate her son from a sibling. Rebecca wasn't that type of person. The two women shared a type of unspoken understanding, their kids had the same dad.

They turned on the television and Parker noted that The Grinch That Stole Christmas was on with Jim Carey. He begged to watch it and while Rebecca usually did not give in, she made an exception this time. Parker crawled up on the couch between Brennan and his mom and rested his head on his mother's chest with a yawn.

Brennan sighed shifting on the couch glancing at Parker who yawned loudly once more and Rebecca suppressed a yawn. Tonight was a good night, they would be okay, and they would make it…somehow or someway it was all going to be okay. At least Angela was home now. Brennan returned her eyes to the television and watched as the Grinch's heart grew larger and larger and Christmas was restored in Whoville once more.

_Through the years we all will be together and  
>If the fates allow, oh yeah<br>But 'til then we'll have to muddle through somehow, oh yeah, oh, oh  
>And have yourself a merry little Christmas now, ooh yeah, oh, ooh… <em>

* * *

><p><em>Again you like it or hate it...and yeah that's right I made Rebecca nice. So, I had this entire chapter written last night and was literally-literally on the last word and my computer randomly shut off and deleted it all! I wasn't happy-at all! So, here you go...I'm trying to get chaps up fast because I am going out of town for Christmas. Angela is home-yay for best friends that are like sisters! Oh and YAY! Iraq war is over! As John Lennon's song plays through my head ha<br>_


	20. I Can't Do This

_I can't do this,  
>I can't do this,<br>I can't do this by myself  
>I can't do this,<br>I can't do this,  
>Oh God I need Your help…<em>

I Can't Do This by Plumb

It was the weekend and today Parker and Brennan were picking out the tree. Angela and Hodgins came along as well as Rebecca used the weekend to get some last minute Christmas shopping done. They went to a farm and Angela, Parker and eventually even Brennan cheered Hodgins on as he chopped it down. It was fun picking out not only a real tree, but going to a farm and getting it yourself.

It was snowing little snow flurries and Brennan smiled as Parker stuck his tongue out to catch them. Angela smiled at Brennan and they loaded the tree in the back of a truck that Hodgins never seemed to use. Tonight was its debut in D.C. and Hodgins took a last look at the truck hitting the bed with his hand and smiled satisfied as if praising the truck, he was happy with it.

As they unloaded the tree at Brennan's place; which allowed real Christmas trees to everyone's delight, Parker danced up and down asking the adults if they made sure they got the lights out of the truck too. The four had stopped at a home depot type store and bought a tree stand, white lights, and drug Hodgins to a nearby shop that had Christmas ornaments. Brennan contemplated stringing cranberries, but decided she was too tired already and needed her energy to put up the decorations she bought with Angela.

Brennan and Angela made some hot chocolate and lunch in the kitchen where despite Brennan's argument. She cajoled her to spend Christmas and the next few days at her house, if not for herself for Booth, the baby and Angela's own sake because she couldn't keep coming over to Bren's like she had last night.

Last night was spent curled up on the couch watching Miracle on 34th Street while Brennan critiqued the whole movie and Angela ignored her. Warm apple pie and hot chocolate seemed to be Bren's theme as of lately. She was glad tonight would be different and Bren would be coming home with them. Angela smiled at her very pregnant friend as they listened to the boys in the other room.

They brought lunch out to Hodgins and Parker who were putting the lights up on the tree. "Lunch is served my little worker bees." Angela said.

"Hang on Angela, we are almost finished." Parker said, lights in his hands listening to Hodgins directions.

"Thanks, be right there babe." Hodgins and Parker said. True to their word the boys were finished with the lights ten minutes later and ate lunch with Bren and Ange.

"Are we going to decorate it after lunch?" asked Parker. "Cause, I want to take a picture and send it to Dad on the computer."

Brennan smiled inside, she did too. "Yes Parker after we eat we will decorate the tree. After we are finished decorating your mother is going to come pick you up."

Parker wanted to ask how come I can't stay with you later and talk with dad. But he was starting to learn no matter how he worded his questions, the answer was always the same. Sooner than later and then the adults would try and redirect his thinking so he would forget his question. He would inhale and tell himself next time, next time his dad wouldn't be busy and they could talk.

Everyone stood back and admired the tree. "Wow it looks great." Angela smiled allowing Hodgins to wrap his arm around her waist and leaning into him. Brennan glanced at them as Angela kissed him a soft quick peck on the lips. There was a knock at the door and Brennan let Rebecca in who stood with everyone else in admiration of the tree. Angela took a picture of the little scene and sent it to Brennan's e-mail.

Angela, Hodgins and Rebecca talked of Bec's crazy Christmas shopping adventures and Paris as well as Brennan. "She is staying with us tonight and for Christmas." Angela informed Rebecca as the trio looked on to Brennan and Parker standing around the laptop which was on the dining room table.

"Good I was worried." Rebecca admitted to Angela.

Brennan started to write Booth and told Parker he could write after her and they would attach the image and send it afterward. Parker nodded in agreement.

_Booth,_

_Parker helped me pick out a Christmas tree today along with Hodgins and Angela. Hodgins cut it down and brought it home where he and Parker put up the lights and all of us decorated it. The tree is quite beautiful Booth I'm glad you suggested that I get one. I miss the smell and it makes me smile when I look at it. I'm reminded of the good times when Russ and I would celebrate Christmas with both our parents. I don't think of the sad Christmas I came down stairs only to find out my parents had left. I don't, I'm happy. I attached a picture of the tree for you Booth._

_Oh! Angela invited me to spend the night at her house this week and Christmas eve as well. She said she is more nervous than me when I am alone. I didn't admit it and I should and will, but I'm glad I will be staying with Hodgins and her. I feel a bit like a burden for intruding on their Christmas, but I know it won't matter if I state my feelings to Angela because she won't care wither way and she will eventually convince me to stay. I miss you and can't wait to see you soon._

_Love,_

_Bones_

"Parker you can write your dad now." Bones said and Parker smiled pulling the laptop in front of his seat on the table.

_Dad,_

_Hi how are you? I'm good. Guess what? Well Bones might have already told you in her letter, but just in case she didn't I will. I helped her pick out a Christmas tree with Angela and Hodgins today. They are pretty cool and fun. Hodgins cut the tree down and I helped him put the lights on it and we added sugar water to the tree to water it. Hodgins said if you put sugar in the water it will make the tree last longer and he is smart so we did. Angela took a picture with her phone and sent it to Dr. Bones e-mail. So now you will be able to see it dad. Well I guess I will talk to you later. Love you._

_Love,_

_Parker_

Brennan attached the picture to the e-mail and sent it. They had been using facebook lately and using the messaging system on it. That way it was easier and while not as a secure sight the guys were on it all the time and they didn't want the Shukra to get a location from his e-mail. It made no sense to Booth or Bones, but a lot of things one had to do in the military made no sense. Rules were rules.

Soon Parker and Rebecca left and Brennan had packed a bag, her laptop, and everything else she needed to take to Angela's. They turned off all of the lights and Hodgins unplugged the Christmas tree lights. With that they were out the door as Brennan's mind raced. She still didn't have a crib, hell she had nothing for a baby. She sighed, feeling like a slacker which she never was. She wasn't looking forward to shopping tomorrow at all. She shouldn't have procrastinated was all she kept thinking.

The trio walked into Angela's house and everyone gravitated to the large wrap around couch and flopped down. Hodgins turned on the television and everyone mindlessly stared at it but didn't really watch it. Angela noticed Brennan curling up on her side and closing her eyes. She smiled at her husband and then woke her best friend.

"Bren, sweetie wake up you're tired and you need to go to bed. Come on let's get you settled up stairs."

Doon Brennan was settled in her new bed and pulling the comforter up to her chin like always. The large house was cool, but being pregnant it felt good. She was out in less than a minute, falling into a dream world a paradise of her very own.

Angela and Hodgins had woken early around four thirty knowing Brennan's internal alarm went off at five. Both forgot to take into consideration their guest was on a different schedule. As of late a lot about her had changed besides her appearance and stance on love.

Brennan yawned as she awoke to face another morning. She hesitated falling back and pulling the comforter over her head. She didn't want to get out of bed right now, but her body decided it was time and the child she was carrying was hungry. She sat up and glanced at the clock, seven thirty. Time to get moving, she sat up only to lie back down again…five more minutes she told herself. Oh, it was time for this kid to get out of her. She was sick of being pregnant.

The smell of breakfast woke her again. It was now eight forty seven. She smiled and got up heading down stairs in her pajamas. She stopped on the bottom stair as her eyes wandered to the living room area. There lay a beautiful oak crib. Inside of it were uni-sex color blankets, pacifiers, one-zee's, stuffed animals, bottles…and the boxes surrounding it held more. They just weren't open yet.

Angela and Hodgins watched as Brennan walked slowly over to the crib and lay her hand on it, smiling.

Angela walked up behind her best friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. "So, what do you think?"

Brennan only embraced Angela quickly and then releasing her, "Thank you guys. Thank you so much. I love my gifts. You didn't have to do this."

"Oh see sweetie that is where you are wrong. If you waited any longer to shop you were going to be bringing my niece or nephew home in a laundry basket. I couldn't have that." Brennan was thankful yet felt like such a procrastinator for not getting their unborn child one thing yet. She was so unprepared; everything Angela gave her made her happy and scared all over again.

_I woke up late  
>Guess I'm never really early<br>I hesitate, only to fail  
>I get so tired, of procrastinating<br>I need a change…_

Brennan gave Angela a look and told her there would be nothing wrong with bringing the child home in a laundry basket and many people…but Angela cut her off. The day had passed with the gals lounging around the house and wandering around the garden for fresh air. Hodgins had to run into work to check on some of his precious insects amongst other things.

It was eight and Angela and Brennan were settling on a movie after already eaten dinner. "Have you ever seen The Notebook sweetie?"

"No, Daisy mentioned it in Maluku. Although, I do know the lead characters names. Oh and I have seen one scene, Allie and Noah leave argue and eventually Allie leaves, but she returns…returns back to Noah I mean." Stated Brennan.

"Yeah that doesn't count as watching it. Would you like too?"

"I heard it has won many prestigious awards."

"I will take that as a yes." Angela said sticking in the DVD."

"Yes."

"Good because we are watching it."

"I see that."

The movie was at the scene where the leads were arguing and Allie was about to leave in the car. Noah argued and begged for her to say, to give them a shot. Allie cried and left. Angela looked at Brennan. She could tell she was thinking and watched as Bren shifted her weight then spoke up. "Daisy told me of this scene, I have watched it before. Booth and I were thinking if it was a girl we would call her Allie. Allie as a middle name, we are unsure what to call the baby's first name for either gender."

"You know this scene is you and Booth all the way. Metaphorically sweetie, I mean how they behave."

Silence linger as Brennan thought what to say. Her words were slow and a whisper,"I know…" Brennan's voice remained thoughtful and nostalgic. "…Allie eventually comes back."

"She does, why don't you just call her Allie?" Angela said knowing Bren knew it was her and Booth at the Hoover. She had obviously returned to Booth as well between her departure for Maluku the next day and their argument. Probably that night thought Angela.

"No that would not look good on college applications or work applications."

Angela laughed lightly, "Okay, well I'm going to get us some more apple cider."

"No I will get it I need to get up Ange I have already seen this scene."

"Alright sweetie. I'm going to pause it for you." Angela smiled as Brennan got up awkward and slow.

Hodgins walked in the door while Brennan was on her way to the kitchen. "I'm home honey's." he chuckled at his plural pronunciation and then walked up to Brennan. His face went ashen. "Holy crap Dr. B! Angela!"

"What?" She called a bit cranky and worried at once.

"I assure you Dr. Hodgins that is not crap but amniotic fluid."

"Dr. B's water just broke! Angela!" Hodgins called unsure whether to leave her and get Angela or run and get his wife. He stood still. Angela's heart skipped a beat and then she looked at Brennan she had her tough face on. She was fine, inside that wasn't the case.

"We're going to the hospital, come on sweetie let's go get in the car. Hodgins…"

"I got the keys!"

"That's great babe, grab the hospital bag and-"

"Grab my laptop please." Brennan said, oh God this was really happening.

"Got everything, let's go."

Angela never did get a chance to pause the movie and as they walked out the door Noah's voice yelled throughout the house,_"...So it's not gonna be easy, it's gonna be really hard and yeah we are gonna have to work at it every day, but I want to do that, because I want you! I want all of you forever! You and me every day..."_

Soon Brennan was in the hospital eight centimeters dilated and hooked up to an IV with her contractions being monitored. She had her own room and denied an epidural saying it wasn't as safe for the baby.

"Please Angela try and get a hold of Booth again." Angela looked at Brennan sadly. "Please?" Brennan begged as Angela tried again to reach Booth online to no avail.

"I'm sorry sweetie, he isn't on."

"E-mail him."

Angela sighed and did so. What an e-mail she thought as she typed away.

_Studley,_

_Its Angela, Bren is in labor get your ass on the computer. I'm with her she is fine and settled in comfortable at Washington Memorial. Hodgins is in the waiting room calling Cam. People will be here with her she is okay._

_Love,_

_Ange_

She sent it quickly. "How are you doing sweetie?"

They were still waiting on Booth, and Brennan was starting to realize he may not be able to be here for the birth in anyway what so ever. She didn't know it until this moment how much she really wanted him here. She was scared.

"Hey Bren, how are you doing?" Brennan gave her a look from the hospital bed as Angela brushed damp hair out of her face.

"Considering I'm in labor and I don't have an epidural, I would like to think I'm doing o.k."

"Why no epidural?"

"I don't want anything to happen to the baby and having an epidural raises your chance…" a contraction had hit, but Brennan remained quiet only closed her eyes and rode it out. She soon released Angela's hand not even knowing she had been holding it in the first place. Upon opening her eyes she looked into Angela's-she wanted them to be Booth's. Angela knew she did.

"I'm fine Angela." Brennan gave her friend a weak smile.

Angela could hear the fear and uncertainty in her best friend's voice. When she spoke her own voice was soft, "Don't worry sweetie he will be on that laptop soon."

Brennan said nothing in response. Only locked eyes with Angela while Angela held her hand when she finally spoke, her words surprised Angela. "Booth would pray if he were here. I don't think that works, I'm an atheist. Though, I irrationally prayed for his safety when he went to Afghanistan. I feared the possibility of being wrong. That maybe, just maybe God did exist and what if I was wrong? I would never chance Booth's safety."

Angela was confused, "Are you saying we should pray?"

"No, I don't know... Booth would…I wish he was here he would know what to do."

Angela smiled at her best friend, "I know you do sweetie, do you want me to say a prayer?" Angela felt odd a bit out of her element.

Brennan bit her lip and the monitor beeped, "OH GOD!"

"Well maybe you do know the man." Said Angela jokingly as the nurse told Brennan it wasn't time to push yet. She was nine centimeters and both women knew she could push at ten. Angela glanced at the laptop. No Booth.

_I can't do this,  
>I can't do this,<br>I can't do this by myself  
>I can't do this,<br>I can't do this,  
>Oh God I need Your help…<em>

Angela looked at the pain Brennan was in."Well, I'm getting an epidural I'm a wimp when it comes to pain."

"Why would? Oh my gosh congra…" Brennan went silent again closing her eyes squeezing Angela's hand she dug her head into the hospital pillow. Her breathing started to labor and she tossed her head back and forth oblivious to the rest of the room as the contractions started to get closer together.

"Where's the father?" Brennan heard the nurse who didn't do her homework on her patient ask.

"I want Booth Ange." The tears had started to form, and Brennan tried not to cry. Though, it hurt-in an inside her heart non atta girl way it hurt so bad.

"I know you do sweetie." Brennan nodded her head up and down, even though she didn't believe in heaven. She believed in Booth.

Angela glanced at the laptop again and Brennan noticed. Angela cursed herself as she looked back to Brennan. "He isn't there is he?" asked Brennan.

"You are nine and a half centimeters." Said a nurse as the doctor checked her. Angela shook her head sadly no.

Then just like that she was ten centimeters and the urge to push was so strong, but she didn't push. "Temperance we need you to push." Said Dr. Ryan and Brennan shook her head no.

"I'm fine. I don't need to push yet." Brennan argued and the nurse exchanged a glance with Angela.

_I'm standing still  
>Move so peaceful<br>I can't pretend  
>That I'm fine<br>I get so ill, crazy agitated  
>When I...<em>

"Temperance I need you to push ready in five…four…three…two…one..." Brennan grabbed Angela's hand opened her mouth, yet no noise came out and pushed. Brennan could hear Angela encouraging her and feel her push the hair out of her face and then that contraction was over.

"You did good Sweetie." Brennan rolled her head up and look at Angela scared, determined, and tired. She wanted Booth.

Angela heard a noise and turned around letting go of Brennan's hand she walked over to the laptop and clicked a box open. "Booth! Thank God!" said Angela.

"Where is she?"

Angela turned the laptop toward Brennan and rolled it toward her.

"Look who I found." Angela said, but Brennan only heard one voice.

"Bones!"

"Booth! Where were you? I need to decide on a name soon and I need you to…" another contraction hit her and she went silent leaning forward and fisting the sheets. Finally it passed and she let her head fall back and looked at Booth breathing heavily. "…help with choosing a name."

"I'm here now Bones."

"Not literally."

"No, not literally."

"Doc take care of her." Booth said addressing Bones' doctor who smiled at him and said will do

"Booth he is a very good…" another contraction hit and Booth looked to Angela.

"I didn't think I would ever see the day something shut her up." Said Booth and Brennan glared at him while Angela rolled her eyes.

Dr. Ryan addressed Brennan now. "You need to push again Temperance, big push in five…four...three…two…one." Booth noticed Bones' glossy eyes not from pain, lack of sleep, or medication.

"I miss you Booth and I love you." Brennan said looking at him and giving him a half-hearted smile.

Brennan squeezed her eyes shut tight and clenched her jaw as Angela held her hand. Suddenly, she felt a release of pressure and opened her eyes. "Temperance you still have to push his shoulders out ready, five…four…three…two…one. Good job! One more big push and you can hold your little one."

Brennan moaned in pain and then with tightly shut eyes another loud moan, "Ahhhh."

Suddenly, they heard screaming and Brennan opened her once tightly shut eyelids. "It's a girl." Dr. Ryan said holding the baby up to Brennan and then to Booth. Booth watched as Angela cut the cord and the doctors whisked away their baby girl to be cleaned up. Soon a nurse placed her in Brennan's arms and, Angela had gone to let everyone know Brennan was o.k."

Brennan held her up to Booth. Booth noticed the tears in her eyes, "Booth look what we did." She smiled.

"I see Bones….a girl." Booth and Brennan both wore smiles from ear to ear.

"It's an odd feeling Booth. Immediately I love her so much Booth and I don't even know her. She is of us-you and me Booth, you and me." Brennan said and Booth smiled still in awe.

"She is beautiful Bones."

Brennan smiled, "I love you Booth…but you did not make this easy. Your daughter has your broad shoulders."

"And your blue eyes."

"All babies have blue eyes Booth. We don't know what color they will be until she is older."

"They will be blue."

"You don't know that for sure. Is another intestinal feeling?"

"Gut…and yes it is."

Brennan sighed, talking to the baby then looking up to Booth. "She needs a name."

"Allyson, with a y. It's different but-"

"I like it."

"Allyson, Allie Booth."

"No Brennan Booth?"

"No. Strickland was right, we are your girls. Your daughter can have your last name since I don't believe in marriage."

Booth smiled, "Thank you Bones. I love you and I love you too Allie."

Brennan smiled, "Angela and I were watching the movie The Notebook when I went into labor."

"Of course you were."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing…nothing Bones. Oh I got Parker and your letter's. Glad you picked out a tree."

Brennan eyed him but didn't ask what it meant. "He did, I will call Rebecca so she can bring him to visit his little sister..." Brennan's voice was a soft whisper, "Booth we created life. I love her. I love you. I wish you were here." Brennan sad sadly as Booth gave the same sad smile back.

"Me too Bones, me too."

Brennan kissed Allie's head as the little one rest on her chest.

"Bones?"

She knew what he was going to say. "No."

"I'm sorry baby. Briefing is in less than a minute."

"Talk to you soon. I love you Booth." Brennan said.

"See you soon Bones. I love you guys." Booth said as Brennan nodded her head yes.

Then Booth was gone. Brennan sighed and looked to Allie. Allie yawned and snuggled her head farther into Brennan's chest.

Angela walked in and sat down next to Brennan smiling a huge smile. "Oh my God Bren! She is adorable!" Brennan smiled a tired smile. Angela noticed Booth was no longer there, but said nothing about it.

"Thanks."

"What's her name?"

"Allyson Allie Booth."

"I love it Bren, but why Allie?"

"After the lead in the movie The Notebook, you are right. That scene reminds me of Booth and I, and Booth has the biggest heart out of anyone person I know, like the lead. Plus, I came back like Allie did."

"It's cute Bren." Angela's eyes were a bit glossy with happiness and laughter. She nodded her head up and down yes in understanding. Angela saw Brennan's mind racing.

"I need to call…" she yawned. "…Rebecca so she can tell Parker."

Angela smiled at the new mommy, "Worry about it tomorrow sweetie. Oh, and Hodgins is bringing everything over to your place tomorrow. A place, just so you know. That I will be spending a lot of time at.

"I will be fine, we will be fine Angela you don't ha-"

"Hush sweetie. You won't win this."

Soon Cam, Hodgins and even Sweets had been in and out of the room to see baby Allie.

"I'm going to go say goodbye to everyone sweetie."

Brennan nodded at her friend and held Allie close speaking to her, "Your daddy loves you sweet girl, because you are half of his heart and half of mine and your daddy loves his kids, he loves kids in general. But you can't see him yet." Sigh "To see your daddy you will have to have patience and a big heart-metaphorically speaking. He left us waiting sweetie, and now it's just you and me." Said Brennan as a tear slipped down her face and she pressed her lips to her daughters forehead.

_Press into me  
>Breathe the air<br>Bask in me  
>You'll be free<br>To do anything…._

* * *

><p><em>I Can't Do This by Plumb<br>_


	21. Faithfully

I know I've been away forever with Christmas, traveling, crappy internet service and a lot of case loads. So the story had to wait. Though, I gave you two chapters. So without further ado here they are. P.S don't you just love Allie? J

_Highway run  
>Into the midnight sun<br>Wheels go round and round  
>You're on my mind<br>Restless hearts  
>Sleep alone tonight<br>Sending all my love  
>Along the wire…<em>

_They say that the road  
>Ain't no place to start a family<br>Right down the line  
>It's been you and me<br>And lovin' a music man  
>Ain't always what it's supposed to be<br>Oh, girl, you stand by me  
>I'm forever yours<br>Faithfully…_

Faithfully by Journey

Angela looked at baby Allie in her crib which she had told Hodgins to leave at their place along with a number of other things. Angela insisted Bren and Allie spend Christmas morning with family. It was the Eve of Christmas Eve tonight and Christmas was fast approaching. Hodgins was slowly transferring baby Allie's things to Brennan's apartment.

Brennan, well, she was for lack of better words holding on and pushing through it all. Allie helped her tremendously. It was amazing what such a small thing could do for such a desperate pained heart. Amazing how high Allie lifted Brennan and allowed her to fly, even with broken wings. She really missed Booth.

Angela stood over a sleeping Allie's crib and sighed. Brennan was downstairs, Allie's monitor attached to her wherever she went.

"Oh Allie baby, what are we going to do with your mama? Huh, sweetie. She misses your daddy so much. It's becoming almost too heartbreaking to watch." Angela whispered as not to wake Allie. Soon two fists balled up and swung back and forth as two big blue eyes looked up at her curiously as if listening. Angela waited and when Allie started to fuss a bit she picked her up and took her to the rocker sitting and laying her on her chest.

It was okay that Allie had woke it was six thirty pm and time to wake her. No one likes to stay up with a baby all night, better to tire her out now. "Al, sweetie, what are we going to do, huh? Your mama is so in love with your daddy. Your daddy is a very good man sweetie. He is just in another land right now and can't be here with you two right now. Though, he really wants to be here. He misses you, your brother, and your mommy badly. He misses home in general. But guess what? I think you get to speak to him tonight." Angela kissed the top of Allie's soft head and Allie made one of her signature baby Allie noises in return.

Through the monitor downstairs Brennan heard Angela's little conversation with Allie and looked up to the high kitchen ceiling with a tight frown. Love stings, and can damn near destroy you. The looking up, It had become a habit, as if it would prevent the tears that were on edge of flowing freely to ever form in the first place.

Maybe she did it to hold the gloss inside and never let the tears fall out of her eyes. Maybe she did it because in the most desperate times one looks up toward God weather they believe in him or not. Whatever the reason, she did it and did it all too much as of lately.

She exhaled and looked back to the onion she was cutting up. Her eyes were full of gloss, but not from the onions. She saw Angela come down the stairs with Allie and smiled at them. Though, a voice in the back of her mind was saying _'time to make another bottle Tempe because you're going to need it.'_ Allie had definitely inherited Booth's eating habits.

_Highway run  
>Into the midnight sun<br>Wheels go round and round  
>You're on my mind<br>Restless hearts  
>Sleep alone tonight<br>Sending all my love  
>Along the wire…<em>

Hodgins, Angela, Brennan and Allie ate a casual dinner. Each person held a plate in their lap except Bren. Brennan had an Allie and balanced her spaghetti bowl on the arm rest of the Lay-Z-boy chair she sat in. She was taking to motherhood pretty well, multitasking was a must when it came to being a mom and just as she told Booth she was good at it. She was right. She had become efficient in all aspects of multitasking, not just in the bedroom. She fed Allie her bottle and finished the last of her very delicious spaghetti that Hodgins and she had made.

Then Allie started to fuss. Hodgins was watching a precious rerun of his X-Files on Netflix and Brennan noticed he had tried hard not to glance at Allie's louder screams and tried even harder to resist the urge to turn the volume up. Hodgins didn't think of Brennan and Allie as a burden at all, they were family and Dr. B was like a sister-in-law. He looked at Allie as training for their soon to be little bundle of joy.

He quickly learned loud crying at all and only the most inopportune moments came with having a baby in the house. Allie didn't want the rest of her second bottle and cried but Brennan knew what she wanted and needed. She turned her around facing away from her, set her on her knee and bounced her as she patted her back, it worked every time. Allie liked the motion and well, the girl had to burp.

Once she did Hodgins couldn't resist laughing as he said. "Oh my God Allie! I think she is good Dr. B that sucker was loud!" Hodgins smiled and Angela laughed lightly as Brennan rattled off something about gas, babies and scientific mumbo jumbo then kissed Allie's soft hair that smelled so sweet. It made Brennan release a breath she didn't know she was holding in every time she breathed in her little girls baby smell.

Allie's tears soon subsided and she was drifting off on Brennan's chest. "Stay up baby girl, we should be able to talk to your Daddy soon." Brennan said as Angela looked on at the two blue eyed brunettes in the Lay-z-boy. Brennan stood and walked over to the computer with Allie on her lap. It was now nine. Brennan was tired, Allie was cranky. Then Brennan heard that familiar noise and even Allie's eyes became wide noting the change in her mother's sudden demeanor.

"Booth!"

"Hey, Bones. How are my girls doing?"

_They say that the road  
>Ain't no place to start a family<br>Right down the line  
>It's been you and me<br>And lovin' a service man  
>Ain't always what it's supposed to be<br>Oh, girl, you stand by me  
>I'm forever yours<br>Faithfully…_

"We're fine. Allie was a bit colicky when I first brought her home, well not home. We're staying with Angela until after Christmas. She won't let us spend Christmas alone. Anyway, the doctor gave her some Similac formula and she is doing much better now. She cries less. I miss you, we miss you Booth."

"Bones I miss you too. I'll be home before you know it. December is almost over, Allie is almost a month old and the next two months will go by in the blink of an eye. Then when I get home Allie will be three months and starting to lift her head up and look at things easily."

Brennan smiled. "I imagine she will have already mastered that task. She is a very strong baby Booth."

"I bet by the time I get home she will be trying to roll over." Booth said and Brennan smiled. Allie was in Brennan's arms her big blue eyes curiously wandered to the laptop screen looking at Booth and taking in his voice.

Brennan nodded her head in agreement and kissed Allie's forehead. "I love her so much Booth."

Booth smiled, "I know Bones and she loves you more than you will ever know."

"How do you know that? How do you know that it's not just because I'm her caregiver and I carried her in my womb."

"Bones, I just know these things, remember?" Brennan looked at Allie then to Booth. "Bones, we love you. Allie loves you."

Brennan nodded with glossy eyes, "I know she does it's just…"

"Just what?"

"Come home, God Booth I need you here." Brennan had broken and Booth exhaled looking down. Allie looked at her mom and pulled at her now very long hair that was in need of a cut. She just hadn't found the time for a haircut. Allie made a noise as if comforting Brennan and Booth touched the screen. Brennan did the same.

"Soon baby, soon. It's hard here too."

"I know, I mean I don't know. I'm not you, but I do know if that makes sense in the least." Brennan's voice was strangled and Allie looked at her mother curiously. With wonder only a baby's eyes held.

Brennan let her hand drop from the screen as Booth did the same. It was a hard night.

"It made sense Bones, a lot of sense. It's early here so I know it must be late there. You must be tired. Do you need me to let you go?"

"No!" Booth was taken aback. Then Brennan exhaled regaining her composure. "No, just…just stay longer Booth. Please."

Booth couldn't help but smile a little smile ebbed with heartache. She loved him, finally. She loved him. Though, now that she finally admitted it…not that it was real and, hell she had his child. He couldn't act on it. He was here and she was there. "Alright Bones, alright. Its okay, I'm staying. I'm right here Bones."

"But you're not…but I'm happy you're staying."Allie's eyes wandered to the screen and studied Booth. Brennan and Booth both noticed this. "Booth, she is looking at you. She hears your voice and notices the computer screen's light and your movement intrigues her."

Booth waved. "Hi Allie, hi baby girl. How are you sweet girl?" Booth cooed to Allie and Brennan smiled watching as Allie watched Booth in wide eyed wonder. Brennan was used to Angela talking to Allie as well as Cam, Hodgins, and well everyone. She herself took much comfort in talking to her daughter. She knew Allie didn't understand, but Allie quieted at Brennan's voice.

Her deep blue eyes seemed wise beyond their years as she listened to people. She loved to people watch. Allie would watch the world go by with a curiosity she seemed to inherit from Brennan and a type of understanding and wisdom from Booth. She really was an amazing little girl.

"Allie? Are you being good for your mommy?" Booth asked and Brennan was about to answer the question but Booth made a silly clown face accompanied by a strange noise at the little girl and Allie smiled a little. Booth looked up, "Bones, Bones she smiled! Did you see that she smiled at me!"

Brennan smiled enjoying watching him happy. "She makes you happy."

_Circus life  
>Under the big top world<br>We all need the clowns  
>To make us smile<br>Through space and time  
>Always another show<br>Wondering where I am  
>Lost without you<em>

Booth stopped and looked at Brennan serious, "You both make me incredibly happy, ecstatic. You gave me life Bones, a little girl. You gave me another life to love and someone that will love me, a daughter. Not only that, but I love you just for you. I have a daughter with the woman I am in love with. Yeah, I'm on top of the world right now Bones. The only thing that would make me happier would be to be with you guys."

"Booth…" Brennan's voice was hesitant.

"What Bones?"

"You are moving in with me when you get back right?"

Booth smiled relieved that's all she said. "Why can't you guys move in my place?"

"Hodgins already moved almost all of Allie's stuff into my place."

"It's not far from mine. I can move it to my place in no time."

Allie sensed the shift in her Mom's demeanor and began to fuss. Brennan stuck her pointer finger in Allie's mouth and she stopped fussing and sucked on Brennan's finger while Brennan swayed her a bit. Booth noted how Bones didn't even notice she had done it. She was an excellent mother.

"It's okay, you don't have too. Besides your place is smaller and would be very stuffed with all of our stuff. Besides, where would Parker sleep with Allie taking over his room? I have a three bedroom apartment. Therefore Parker can have his own room as well as Allie."

Booth hadn't thought of that. "Has Parker met Allie?"

"Rebecca said Christmas Eve."

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve."

"It is indeed."

Booth thought on the matter. He didn't like that idea of moving into her place, but she had a valid point.

"Okay, okay. How about we live in your place until we find one of our own? It will be a new start for our new family, together."

It was Brennan's turn to contemplate. It didn't' take long, "You and me and Allie and of course Parker when he visits. That sounds like a very good idea Booth. I'm open to that suggestion. It is rational and makes sense to do."

Booth smiled and Allie flailed her fists as if in agreement. Brennan looked to Allie, "What? Are you excited Daddy is coming home soon too?"

Booth smiled and Angela watched from the kitchen peeking into the living room to both parents speaking to their little baby girl. Angela smiled, Bren needed this time with him so much. It was the only thing besides Allie that helped her make it through the days until Booth finally arrived home. Angela placed her hand on her stomach and smiled thinking of the future.

"Bones she is so beautiful. She takes after her mommy in that regard."

"Yes, well you did say I was the standard Booth." Brennan smiled as Allie yawned.

Booth chuckled. "Yes, yes I did Bones." She was so modest he thought sarcastically, but the thing that made it so funny was the fact she was being so literal. She truly believed his every word. It was at times very flattering and at times very annoying. He loved it.

"She is beautiful Booth, but I didn't expect much less. You are handsome and I am pretty."

"That doesn't always make for a good looking kid Bones, believe me."

"I do believe you Booth, except sometimes you think you are right and you aren't. Then I just give up trying to inform you of the truth. You are as stubborn as I am, and I am very stubborn."

Both smiled, "I know you are Bones."

"Though, you are right just because two people have nice symmetry does not mean that their progeny will. Although, selective breeding in animals is very popular for not only-"

"Bones, we aren't horses. We are not Thoroughbreds who have been strategically selected by our lineage to produce some super horse with speed stamina and strength for racing. We are Temperance Brennan and Seeley Booth who broke the law of physics and found love. In between all of that we created a little girl…"

Booth nodded to Allie "…an extra heart beat, extra love. A daughter named Allie Booth, a little girl who made you a mommy. A little girl who will be running around with a sippy cup, talking, and stealing fries off of your plate so you know how it feels in no time." Booth smiled at Brennan who had gloss in her eyes, no tears fell. She smiled instead.

"Booth, I know we aren't horses; that is obvious. Though, we both do have very good stamina and strength. Although, you are fast on foot, speed is not needed for breaking the law of physics. We make a good team Booth."

"Damn Bones, not in front of Allie." She said not a word about Booth's Allie rant and love and mushy little girl stuff, her mind was elsewhere stuck on thoroughbreds and stamina.

"She has no idea what I'm talking about Booth."

"We do make a good team." Booth agreed.

"They say we're the best." Brennan smiled an impish grin on her face.

"They do."

"They do indeed." Brennan agreed.

"We should brush up on our team work when I get home. You know it would probably help our partnership even more." Booth insinuated.

"I thought you said we were more than partners?" Brennan questioned and Booth thought, God I hope Allie inherits my people skills.

"Exactly Bones…" Booth looked at her waiting for her to get it...any of it.

"I'm confused."

Damn. Booth sighed, "I was insinuating we break a lot of laws Bones. Many laws." He put emphasis on the words _'many laws._'

"Oohhh, of physics?"

Bingo genius. Booth nodded yes smiling.

"I understand now Booth and couldn't agree more. Besides you have way too many rules in the military. So it will be very refreshing to break them when you get home." Brennan said matter of factly and Booth smiled shaking his head at her.

"What Booth? I'm right. Neither of us has had sex in a long time and you do have many rules."

"Yes…" he laughed a smile at her. "…yes I do Bones and it will be more refreshing than you will ever know."

"That is where you are wrong. I know how you feel. While, males usually have a stronger sex drive than females this is not true when a female is pregnant. Booth I had no sex throughout this whole pregnancy! I did not even have a vibrator in Maluku and Daisy was my roommate so mastur-"

"Whoa! Whoa Bones! Jesus, what the hell are you trying to do to me here?"

"To you? I have needs as well Booth. And I don't think you were insinuating Jesus was trying to do something to you."

"No I wasn't. I was taken aback by your words Bones, I will be home soon and we will be together then, okay? Take a deep breath woman."

He watched as she did and chuckled running a hand over his face rubbing at it. His hot blooded woman, pun intended.

_And being apart  
>Ain't easy on this love affair<br>Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
>I get the joy of rediscovering you…<br>_

"I know…but it's…it's the stupid irrational things that I miss the most Booth. More than sex, I can survive without that."

"What do you miss?" asked Booth as he looked Allie over and studied Brennan's facial features, her eyes had fallen to Allie.

Brennan whispered softly. "I miss your company; our irrational banter that Angela says is more flirting than anything, your presence, lunch at the diner and eating your fries." She paused lifting her eyes from Allie and letting them settle back on Booth, "Also I have found that I have an irrational need to show you in person that I eat pie now."

Booth laughed, "I love you Bones." He was laughing in delight, happy. "And you know what? Those things aren't stupid or irrational at all."

Brennan smiled at him as he lit her world up. "I know you love me Booth. But do you really think that they aren't stupid irrational things?"

"Of course they aren't because I miss all of the same things about you. So if for some reason they are… then that makes me irrational too." He winked at her and she touched the screen a second then retracted her hand.

"It's late Booth, Allie is asleep and I need to put her down and get some rest before she wakes up in a few hours."

It was odd thought Booth. Brennan was now the one to end their conversations first. She had to tend to their daughter. He now understood how she felt to an extent all of those times when he had left her hanging, all of those times when she wasn't yet ready to say _'see you later' _because he had a briefing or what not. "See you soon Booth." Brennan smiled sadly.

"See you later Bones. Tell Parker I say hi and give Allie a kiss for me. If I don't talk to you tomorrow have a Merry Christmas Eve."

"You have a Merry Christmas Eve as well Booth. We love you."

"I love you too girls."

"While young, Strickland was correct. We are your girls and no one else's Booth. Though, I am not a girl but a woman." Brennan pointed out and Booth smiled.

"You are Bones, yes you are."

Brennan stood and said see you later once more to Booth then clicked the box on the screen off and like that he was gone. She yawned and walked up the stairs lying Allie down in her crib. Then lying down on the futon couch in Allie's make shift nursery which would eventually be Angela's baby's nursery.

_….Oh, girl, you stand by me  
>I'm forever yours<br>Faithfully_

Brennan sighed her mind racing before she fell asleep. There was Parker tomorrow, but there was also Angela and Hodgins Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas day, moving into her apartment after Christmas plus the two more months without him. Though, she would see him again and she planned on breaking many a rules with him, many rules. She rolled over glad sleep finally took her and Allie both.

Soon it was Christmas Eve and noon. Brennan and Allie sat at the Royal Diner waiting on Rebecca and an anxious Parker. Brennan saw Rebecca immediately and could hear Parker who was metaphorically bouncing off the walls with excitement of not only meeting his sister, but of what tomorrow was as well.

"Bones!" Parker looked at her and Allie curiously.

"Hi Parker. Hello Rebecca." Parker thought Brennan's smile seemed warmer. It didn't make sense a person doesn't suddenly change… but he didn't know. Bones just seemed a little happier. He didn't know why but thought it probably had something to do with finally having the baby out of her.

"Oh Temperance she is beautiful." Rebecca said sliding into the booth across from Brennan.

"Thank you I agree."

Parker was silent and had chosen to sit next to Brennan and Allie. Allie and Parker stared at each other in silent wonder. Allie was curious of the boy sitting next to her mother, as curious as he was of her. Parker's rambunctiousness left him and he spoke softly as he asked questions about his sister.

"Dr. Bones?"

"Yes."

"Her name is Allie, right?"

"Yes Parker. Her name is Allyson Allie Booth. Though, we don't call her Allyson."

"Oh." Parker contemplated this. "Why not?"

The waitress Annie came up and asked Parker and Rebecca what they wanted to drink. Then she stopped noting the baby girl. "Oh honey, you had a girl. She is gorgeous, your husband must be ecstatic. What is the sweet child's name?" Annie knew Booth was the father but thought they were married now. She didn't note the absence of a ring on Brennan's finger.

The husband comment made Rebecca wonder if Temperance would ever marry Seeley.

"Allie, Allie Booth." Brennan said proudly looking at her daughter with a mother's warm loving eyes. This was the first time she and Allie had been out and she had wanted to show her to Annie badly. Annie had been there for Brennan more than she would ever know. She forgot to mention Annie to Booth. Annie and Allie were close sounding names and it was another reason she wanted to name their child Allie.

"That is a lovely name."

"She is my sister." Parker piped up and Annie looked to Rebecca who smiled her hellos.

"Is she now my boy?"

"Yep." Parker was proud and happy. It made Brennan smile.

"What might be your name?" Annie smiled at Parker who instantly liked Annie. He always had.

"I'm Parker Booth."

"You must be very excited Parker. A little sister for Christmas, you don't get a much better present than that. Do you?"

"Nope! Allie is the best present in the whole entire world!" Parker said smiling his father's smile.

"Well what can I get you to drink young man?"

"Can I have some hot chocolate please?" he looked to Rebecca as he asked and she nodded yes. Annie smiled watching for Rebecca's answer. Then nodded and asked Rebecca what she would like.

"Alright, one hot chocolate and one latte coming up." Annie smiled at Allie and Brennan before she walked away. "She is just too cute dear."

Allie watched Parker and her mom as they ate warm apple pie with whip cream on top. He big blue eyes watched everything that went on with an enigmatic intensity about them.

"She's a very alert baby." Rebecca said and Brennan smiled in agreement while Parker eyed his sister.

"I have found she is very curious of her surroundings. She loves to watch the mobile that hangs above her crib, but if someone walks into the nursery she instantly notices and looks to them instead." Brennan told Rebecca.

"She acts all curious too." Parker added.

"She is Parker. She loves to watch Booth on the laptop. She hears his voice and his movement baffles her. She doesn't understand where his voice is coming from or why the screen is so bright, yet dark as well." Bones smiled as did Rebecca. Parker only looked at Allie a bit jealous then looked to his mom.

"How much does she see dad?" Parker's wheels started to turn. Allie would most likely be living with his dad. Parker had, had Booth to himself for almost ten years. It suddenly occurred to him he was going to have to share his father. Share with someone who would get to live with him when he only got two weekends with him per month.

"We try to speak with him every night we can Parker, but that doesn't always happen. I try to keep Allie up later on the nights we can so he can see her as well."

"Are you, Dad and Allie all going to live together when he gets back?" Parker cut to the chase and Rebecca's wheels started to turn as well. She knew where this was going. She had foreseen this conversation coming since Temperance told her she was pregnant.

Rebecca was going to have to let Seeley have more time with Parker. It wouldn't be fair to Parker if Allie spent all the time in the world with Seeley and Parker only had two weekends a month. The shared custody talk was approaching quicker than she had anticipated. Though, she thought she could at least talk to Seeley about it before Parker.

"Yes Parker actually, your dad and I spoke about that last night." Brennan answered Parker's question.

"What did he say?"

"We agreed to live at my place because it has three bedrooms until we find a new one. Our bedroom your bedroom and Allie's nursery."

Everyone watched as Parker thought about this. He wasn't sure how he felt about this yet. He was moving; he had to share his dad with not only Allie, but Bones too. Bones was cool, he loved her. But Parker had never lived with her. This was different. "Allie gets to be with dad all the time."

"No, she will stay at the Jeffersonian nursery throughout the day."

"I meant she will live with him, like a real family. I don't have dad all the time like Allie."

"Parker your dad told me there is more than one type of family. You have a real family Parker. That's ludicrous to think otherwise. I love you, your mom loves you, and your dad loves you. Plus you are a big brother now and-"

"…and I'm not sure I like it. I mean I love Allie and all but she gets all of dad. I only get a little bit." Parker explained.

"Parker." Rebecca said her son's name stern with empathy. "Parker look at me. I need to tell you something important. I was going to wait until after Christmas when your dad returned, but it looks like now is the right time."

"You're not pregnant too are you?" Parker asked his mom hoping to God the answer was no.

Rebecca laughed, "No, God no. Drew and I aren't planning on kids."

"Good."

"Listen, you're getting older and I've thought about it and with Allie now here, well, she helped give me that extra push I needed to make my decision."

"Decision about what?" asked Parker as Allie started to make subtle yet familiar baby Allie noises. Parker glanced at his sister then back to his mom.

"I was going to wait until Seeley returned to the states to change the custody rights to a fifty, fifty agreement but I see that even with him away. I mine as well start the court process now. The court will grant your father shared custody. Which means you will see him a lot more Parker, a lot more."

Parker and Brennan both smiled and their eyes lit up, they both couldn't wait to tell Booth. "Oh My God! This really is the best Christmas ever!"

Brennan and Rebecca's eyes locked and they all laughed causing Allie to smile and ball her fists up flailing them as if she knew what was going on as well. She fed off the excitement. Call it a baby's _'gut'_ feeling.

"Did you hear that Al? I'm going to live with you a lot. I'm gonna protect you from everyone too, don't worry. I won't let anyone ever hurt you or make fun of you or anything, because I'm your big brother Al and that's what big brother's do." Brennan smiled and Parker smiled holding Allie's balled up fists and shaking them up and down.

Annie watched Parker play with Allie and Brennan and Rebecca share a laugh. She smiled happy for the doctor, but knew the feeling of having a child help you to fly. Help you get by, sometimes wasn't enough. Watched as the doctor laughed now and Annie prayed the laughter would carry her until tomorrow. Keep her going, because where there was light there was dark.

One would fly just barely, as they waited on the one they loved with injured wings; a turkey flying a little then falling-getting by. Up then down up then down. A hop skip and a jump of a flight. One was not able to soar like an eagle until they were together with the person that was _always_ in the back of their mind. Annie sighed and smiled turning toward the kitchen, it was Christmas Eve.

_Whooa, oh-oh-ooh  
>Whooa, oh-oh-ooh, oh<br>Whooa, oh-oh-oh, oh-whoooooa-oh  
>Faithfully<br>I'm still yours…_

Soon Brennan was saying goodbye to everyone at Angela's Christmas party which was held on Christmas Eve. It ended even earlier than Brennan, Hodgins or Angela thought it would. Brennan was glad. While she enjoyed seeing Cam, Paul, Michelle and Sweets, everyone agreed it wasn't the same without well the whole team. They really were a family.

Angela and Hodgins were still in the Christmas spirit and after they cleaned up Angela had noticed Brennan checking the laptop more than normal. No Booth. No e-mails. She looked at her niece asleep in her mechanical swing. Its speed rocked her back and forth on the highest setting, just as she liked. The swing played music and as Allie rocked back and forth the tune of _'All I want for Christmas is You'_ played softly.

Brennan smiled in shock as Hodgins sprayed her with the kitchen sink sprayer then she smacked him. Angela walked in and he did the same to her, she smacked him harder. He stopped as the three best friends laughed. "We cleaned everything up quite quickly." Said Brennan to Angela and Hodgins.

"Yeah we did pretty good." Hodgins agreed slipping his hand around his wife's stomach kissing her abdomen and then her lips as she laughed. Brennan suddenly felt out of place and quietly disappeared to sit on the couch next to her daughter. The lovers in the kitchen giggled, oblivious to her absence. "It's you and I Allie. We'll be alright, we just need patience. Your daddy will be home soon. Then the world will be right side up again and everything will be back to normal. I love you Allie, Merry Christmas Eve baby girl."

Brennan turned off the swing and picked Allie up ready to carry her sleeping baby up stairs. "See you tomorrow morning Bren. Love you sweetie, Merry Christmas Eve. Oh and you too sweet baby girl!" Angela kissed Allie's toes and forehead.

"I love you too Angela." Brennan smiled and Angela hugged her without waking Allie.

"Goodnight Dr. B Merry Christmas Eve."

"Merry Christmas Eve Dr. Hodgins. I love you both, goodnight." Brennan said glancing at the computer one last time after Angela and Hodgins went to bed. No Booth. She sighed and opened her inbox. Allie in her arms, she inhaled and smiled. There was a message.

_Bones,_

_I won't be able to talk to you tonight so I wanted to wish you and Allie a Merry Christmas Eve and tell you I love you more than anything in this world. I can't wait to wake up to your face Bones. You don't know how good it feels to get a message from you, to hear your voice, to see your face and Allie's as well. I love you Bones and I love Allie. I'm yours and that's all there really is to it. You know that song all I want for Christmas is You? Yeah, it's depressing for me too. Because that is all anyone wants over here that has a significant other back home for Christmas. I want you under my tree. Meaning I want you for Christmas, not literally under the tree Bones._

_It's funny we have a Charlie Brown tree, it means it's small. Anyway, all the guys put their significant other's photo's on it as ornaments. The picture Angela took of you holding Al in the hospital along with a picture Parker sent me of himself hangs on the tree with a lot of my boots other family members. It's a military tree, but it's a good one. Good because it is adorned with faces full of love for the men here. Your face, Allie's and Parker's. I love you Bones. Merry Christmas Eve and have a wonderful Christmas day! I will try and contact you tomorrow. _

_Love,_

_Booth_

Brennan didn't look up to the ceiling but let the tears fall down her face and sighed. With a heavy heart she closed the laptop planning on writing him back tomorrow. It was late. So, she walked up stairs Allie in her arms and Christmas morning awaiting her tomorrow.

_I'm forever yours  
>Ever yours<br>Faithfully…_

* * *

><p><em>I changed the lyrics 'lovin a music man' to 'lovin a service man' aka military man...<br>_


	22. Bring Him Home Santa

_Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list  
>There's one big thing I missed<br>You see my Daddy's working for away from here  
>And I know Santa, I asked for a Barbie doll<br>And a brand new soccer ball  
>But I'd trade it all, for just one gift this year...<em>

_Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me  
>Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree<br>You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh  
>Don't make him spend Christmas all alone<br>Bring him home…_

Bring Him Home Santa-I forgot the little girl's name who sings it…it's sad but real.

Rebecca was doing her Santa thing as Parker tried his hardest to fall asleep in his room. Tomorrow was Christmas morning! He couldn't stand it. Hodgins rolled over onto Angela kissing her and running his hands through her hair. As he worked his way down her body he stopped at her abdomen planting a kiss on it while whispering, "Soon we're going to have a little Allie." He smiled and Angela leaned up catching his mouth with hers smiling.

"Come here babe, I got everything on my list." Angela smiled kissing his shoulder then neck with a smile.

Cam lay in bed still awake, she had always loved Christmas and having Michelle to celebrate it with was even better. After opening presents and having a big breakfast tomorrow morning they were going over to Paul's family's house for Christmas dinner which would be great. She smiled thinking of cute baby Allie and Brennan then eventually drifted off to sleep.

Michelle smiled as she lay awake pleased to be back home from College for Christmas. More pleased with the knowledge that Cam was happy in a relationship with a good guy and that she herself had someone that looked promising back at school. She smiled as she heard her cell light up and vibrate. She rolled over picking it up off the night stand to read the message and smiled when she saw what Mark wrote on the screen. _'Merry Christmas Michelle. I can't wait to see you, hope you are having a god time with your family.'_

Daisy laughed drinking some tasty egg-nogg with her co-workers. She and Ryder made fun of Olson quite a bit tonight. Daisy told Ryder about Sweets and Ryder told Daisy about his Ashlin who he was debating proposing to when they got back home. Their situations were similar and they both decided that because of Christmas they should give their significant other's all they had. One last big shot, because they both agreed it's not like they were going anywhere anyway. If Ashlin or Sweets did then they did, but neither thought Ashlin or Sweets would move on. So they drank merrily agreeing that the dig was a bust and that they couldn't wait to go home.

It was eerily silent and pitched dark in the nursery. Suddenly Brennan woke up to a crying baby and like a robot her socked feet carried her over to Allie's crib. She picked her up cooing to her and swaying back and forth for a bit. Then she sat down in the rocker and rocked them both back and forth. Soon Allie was quiet as she lay in wonder of her surroundings on Brennan's shoulder.

As Brennan rocked them back and forth she wondered of Booth. She never really liked or believed in Christmas, it was just a huge marketing ploy. So why did it seem she missed Booth so much more tonight. Why did she feel bad that Allie would be spending her first Christmas without her daddy?

_Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list  
>There's one big thing I missed<br>You see my Daddy's working for away from here  
>And I know Santa, I asked for a Barbie doll<br>And a brand new soccer ball  
>But I'd trade it all, for just one gift this year...<em>

Brennan looked at her glowing cell phone. No messages. Booth and she would facetime or facebook message each other sometime. But it seemed this was not the case tonight. She sighed, "Al, if Santa was real he would bring your Dad home. This just proves that I'm correct. There is no Santa. One man cannot make it around the world in one day."

"… If he did so much good why not bring Booth home to me, to us? He is supposed to be magic. I know that is irrational…but…" Sigh "…you see Allie…" she shifted Allie in her arms now cradling her. Allie looked at her mom with large eyes as if listening.

"…in Maluku I met someone. A young native boy named Agung. Agung taught me the importance of wishing on a star. Your father believes in wishes. I used to think they were as irrational as magic. Why speak your inner most thoughts to a ball of flaming gas billions of miles away? Why put hope into a ball of gas? Though, I did it anyway." Brennan exhaled.

"… Then again people use to think the world was flat but look how wrong they were. So in essence maybe in some outlandish way I'm wrong and wishes are in fact rational. What do you think Al?"

Brennan's eyes were glossy as she spoke to Allie alone in the dark nursery. She missed Booth, missed his arms wrapped around her frame. Tonight Booth sat awake with his men on base, he hadn't left base just like he said he wouldn't but he did end up having to tend to some injured. It was depressing. He joked with the guys and put on a brave face. He took a break and walked outside of the large tent and looked up to the sky.

"Family?" Booth looked to his left and saw an older man whom he didn't know admiring the same bright star. Booth nodded yes. "It's a bright star, huh?" asked the man.

Booth smiled, "It's actually a planet." He knew he sounded like a dork, but he didn't care. No one did tonight; everyone's mind was elsewhere. Back home with their pretty ladies and precious kids.

The older man nodded and inhaled, "You'll see her soon kid. I'll take this shift for you." Booth nodded in appreciation.

"Merry Christmas." Booth called after the man as he walked back into the tent.

"Thanks, same to you." Said the man. 

Allie's eyes locked onto Brennan's as they shared a moment. Brennan looked, really looked in her little girls eyes. For a baby she swore she was wise. It was absurd but then again so were wishes. Allie was different, observant to an extreme.

As Brennan wiped her tears away so they didn't fall onto her daughter. She smiled a sad smile thinking how so much had changed, how the world had gone on spinning without him and it was painful to live in a world that rotated without Booth.

_Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me  
>Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree<br>You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh  
>Don't make him spend Christmas all alone<br>Bring him home…_

Booth sighed at the star and turned and walked back into the tent admiring the Charlie Brown tree. He fingered the picture of Bones holding Allie in the hospital and smiled as he let it go. Then his fingers brushed that of Parker's smiling face. A tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly brushed it away.

Brennan looked up to the ceiling with a heavy heart and tried to slow her breathing. Instead she ended up holding the tears back so long that her chest burned as did her eyes. Finally, she let it out and let the tears fall. Head back looking up to the ceiling she hugged her daughter closer and started to cry harder. Allie wondered what was going on as she heard odd noises coming from her mommy and felt her mother's chest, shoulders, and arms heaving shaking her up and down as Brennan drew in hitched breaths and released hiccupping tears.

_And Santa, here's a picture that I drew  
>Of him in his dress blues<br>Mama says our country needs him over there  
>And you know Santa, this whole year I've been good<br>And I was hopin' that you would  
>Do all you could to answer her prayer...<em>

It was dark as night in Afghanistan at five in the morning and it was night in the states; it was darker than usual in both places tonight. The stars were out, but there was no moon. Not tonight. Booth saw Strickland and smiled a sad smile as the injured kid spoke. "Hey Sarge, speak to your girl?"

"Not yet, she mentioned you though."

Strickland's eyes lit up. It didn't take much now days, "What did she say?"

"She said you were right. That she and my little girl are in fact _my girls_."

Strickland smiled. "See I knew what I was talking about." Strickland said cockily.

"But-"Booth started.

"But what? I was right."

Booth smiled, "But she said she is no girl she is a woman."

Strickland smiled. "She seems funny Sarge."

It was Booth's turn to smile, "She is one of a kind that's for sure."

"So, Sarge what you doing for Christmas Eve? Any big plans?" Strickland laughed and Booth chuckled as the kid tried to take his mind off his troubled heart. "Tell me about her, not like we're doing shit anyway."

Booth contemplated, "Okay."

"Well how did you meet?" Strickland asked and Booth's smile turned into light laughter as he pictured Brennan in her early thirties stopping in her tracks on the sidewalk to face him and yell at him. Her signature ponytail higher than most women wore it. As she yelled at him he tried not to laugh. He remembered what he said _"We'll be like Mulder and Scully." _Ha! No one knew how true that would turn out.

She wanted full participation on the case. She didn't' anticipate falling in love, neither did he. Sex, yeah there was a definite attraction between the two. They could both predict that would probably happen soon. Though, love? Then a child…Angela's psychic couldn't even foresee that…then again she was pretty spot on about the whole Bones is in danger deal.

"We work together."

"What's her name?" asked Strickland.

"It's as different as mine."

"I only know your last name Sarge and Sergeant Major Booth isn't that strange to me."

"Okay, okay. I hate it and don't ever call me by my first name. That's an order."

Strickland pulled himself together in a half jokingly half serious manner. "Yes Sir."

"It's Seeley." Strickland hid his smile at Booth's admission and thought what a fucked up name.

"Her name is?"

"Temperance."

"That's a pretty name, like the author?"

"Yeah, yeah exactly like the author." Booth smiled.

"I'll tell ya what, that author is hot and she writes pretty damn good too. I'd bang her."

Booth said nothing only shot Strickland a look. "You don't remember much from that IED do you kid?"

"Shit, she is the author isn't she?"

"You're a smart one."

"Sorry Sarge, I would never touch what's yours. I know you would beat my ass anyway."

"Strickland, _she_ could beat your ass with one hand behind her back. Besides I'm not worried about it she wouldn't ever cheat on me, especially with you. It's all good buddy, you didn't remember. I've done the same. You talked to her when I was skyping with her. She spoke with you."

"I don't remember."

"It's okay, everything eventually Strickland." Booth smiled at the kid and looked at his watch.

"Merry Christmas Sarge."

"Merry Christmas Strickland."

Allie yawned and Brennan heard some fireworks going off in the distance in celebration. She looked at her watch. It would be twelve in a few minutes. Tomorrow she would wake up with puffy eyes to an inevitable morning. Where she will blame her puffy eyes on her lack of sleep not from the many tears she cried.

In the morning Hodgins and Angela will have bought her presents and encourage her to celebrate the day with them and she will try, for them. They would celebrate it together in love, happily expecting a child. Hodgins will have a big breakfast ready and syrup that tasted wonderful. Everything will seem perfect, except one thing. Booth wouldn't be there, but miles away.

So she would put on her fake smile and march on as she held Allie close and Booth close in her heart. She would open presents under the tree, but she wouldn't be anxious like Angela. No, Brennan would be anxious to hear from a certain someone instead.

Brennan exhaled thinking of tomorrow. She looked down to Allie whose eyes were fluttering shut. Brennan decided she wasn't going to put her back in her crib but instead close her own eyes and let Allie sleep on her in the rocker tonight. It was Christmas after all and she wasn't letting her little girl spend her first Christmas totally alone. Not tonight. Tonight she would spend it in her arms.

_Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me  
>Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree<br>You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh  
>Don't make him spend Christmas all alone bring him home…<em>

Brennan looked at her watch, it was Christmas. She sighed and studied Allie's sleeping form whispering, "Merry Christmas Al."

_Bring him home  
>Bring him home<br>Bring him home…_


	23. Come Home

_Hello world  
>Hope you're listening<br>Forgive me if I'm young  
>For speaking out of turn<br>There's someone I've been missing  
>I think that they could be<br>The better half of me  
>They're in the wrong place trying to make it right<br>But I'm tired of justifying  
>So I say to you..<em>

_Come home  
>Come home<br>Cause I've been waiting for you  
>For so long<br>For so long  
>And right now there's a war between the vanities<br>But all I see is you and me  
>The fight for you is all I've ever known<br>Ever known  
>So come home<br>Oh…_

_Come Home by Sara Bareilles and One Republic_

Allie opened her eyes atop her sleeping mother in the rocker. She looked around not fussing or moving, just opening her baby blue eyes to her first Christmas morning. It was cool in the nursery, but Allie laid warm on her mom her mother's chest. Brennan's body heat filled her daughter's small form. Allie had her personal heater wherever she went.

Allie's eyes drifted over the lap tops screen where a strange yet familiar voice and face were usually on. The face wasn't there right now. The little girl looked to her crib and then tried to turn her head at a familiar sound. She looked at the screen noticing the man's face and warm smile.

Booth looked at his sleeping Bones out like a light in the rocker of the dark nursery. His daughter lay atop her chest staring back at him. "Allie! Hey baby girl Merry Christmas. Did you tire Mommy out last night? Huh?"

A smile started to creep onto Allie's face then disappear and reappear. "I bet you did sweet silly girl. How are your Auntie Angela and Uncle Hodgins?" Allie smiled again.

"Oh really? They doing good, huh?"

Allie stared at Booth with curious wonder. Her dark blue eyes were deep. They held questions that had no answers and answers to questions not yet asked. "Hey Al, guess what?"

Allie continued to stare at Booth and gave him another tiny smile.

"I'm your Daddy. I'm gonna see you in February. You me your mommy and your brother Parker are going to spend a lot of time together. I hope I'm home before Valentine's Day. I know your mommy doesn't believe in the holiday. Though, she likes to be included in the celebration. Your mother is one of a kind. She will act like she doesn't appreciate flowers bought from the store, but I've seen her smile so bright at a small figurine of a pig that I gave her. She likes the thought, not the things. You know what I mean Al?"

Allie's face was serious as she stared at Booth and let him continue to vent to her just as Brennan did to her all the time. She was a good listener. It helped that she didn't talk, but it helped more because she was Allie and half Bones. It helped Brennan because she was half Booth.

"I knew you know what I was talking about Allie girl." Booth winked at his little girl and she smiled at him.

"Oh you like that huh?" Booth stuck his tongue out at Allie and crossed his eyes. Allies eyes grew wide and she stirred on Brennan's chest.

Brennan felt Allie stir and inhale exhaling a yawn. She looked down to Allie who had wide eyes. "What's wrong Al?" Brennan said with a sleep laden voice then her eyes looked to what Allie's were transfixed on. Booth's cross eyed goofy face with his tongue sticking out.

Brennan smiled, "Booth you're scaring our daughter." Brennan's smile grew even larger and Booth stopped immediately. Allie did look pretty confused and stunned. "Hi." Brennan said softly in a sleep laden whisper. She was glad his face was the first she saw Christmas morning.

"Hi yourself."

Brennan turned Allie she and the rocker so they were facing Booth. "It must be late there."

"It is, but I wanted to spend Christmas morning with my girls."

"I'm glad that you did, Merry Christmas Booth."

"Merry Christmas Bones. Allie and I already said Merry Christmas to each other."

"Allie can't speak Booth."

"No, but she smiles brilliantly. Lights up a whole room just like her mommy's smile."

Brennan tried hard not to smile but failed. "Thank you Booth. I agree she has a very pretty smile."

"I miss you Bones."

Brennan sighed because she knew he was having a hard night. She had a hard night last night. She knew the feeling all too well. "You'll be home soon Booth. Two months isn't long at all. Besides then like you said Allie will be picking her head up easily to look at everything including you. I admit its fun to watch her discover her fingers and toes."

Booth sighed, "Yeah? Is she starting to find her little hands?"

"Yes Booth." Brennan watched as Booth nodded and exhaled sadly. He wanted to be here for all of it too. "Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"Exactly how long were you on screen talking to Allie this morning before I woke up?"

This brought a smile to Booth's features. "A good ten minutes. You know Bones, we had a very serious discussion." He smiled slyly at her and she caught it smiling back at him and shaking her head.

"Booth you are crazy."

"So are you."

Brennan smiled, "No I'm not."

"Oh I highly disagree."

"That is only one person's opinion."

"Al, do you think your mother is crazy?" Booth asked and both adults were quiet as if she would actually respond. She smiled and let out a baby laugh at the sound of Booth's voice. "See Bones, Allie agrees with me. You are officially crazy."

"Booth she is just a child! She can't make a decision."

"She just did." Booth laughed and Brennan mock pouted as Allie smiled her eyes wandering from her mother's face to the man on the screen that said he was her daddy. Whatever that was, but for some reason Allie felt this daddy guy that lived in the laptop was a good thing.

Her mommy seemed to become happy whenever his face came on the screen. Allie fed off her mom's relaxed roller coaster of emotions when she saw Booth and her deep baby blues wondered if this man called daddy might even belong to her and her mommy in some strange way.

_Hello world  
>Hope you're listening<br>Forgive me if I'm young  
>For speaking out of turn<br>There's someone I've been missing  
>I think that they could be<br>The better half of me  
>They're in the wrong place trying to make it right<br>But I'm tired of justifying  
>So I say to you..<em>

Booth looked at his two girls in the dark nursery. They were both so beautiful. Bones yawned as Allie tugged at Brennan's considerably long hair. Booth liked it, he hadn't seen her with hair that long in well, ever. She hadn't cut it since before she left for Maluku and it was bothering her. It was too long with a baby around. Booth watched as she gently removed Allie's hand from her hair. Brennan pulled it all to one side so it was now safe from Allie's curious hands.

"Bones?"

"Hhmm?"

"Merry Christmas."

She smiled, "You already said that Booth."

"I know."

Brennan smiled and shook her head back and forth. "Merry Christmas Booth."

"I have to go Bones. We…"

"I had a feeling."

"Oh, oh! So, you 'get feelings' now?"

Brennan smirked at him and inhaled exhaling her words. "I have become more intuitive to others needs since I have had Allie, yes."

Booth smiled at her, he always smiled when he saw her face. When he saw her holding their baby girl in the early morning, Christmas morning, he smiled even though it was a bittersweet site. "I know Bones, I know you have. You are an excellent mother, you know that. You don't even notice when she starts to fuss that you automatically push your right elbow out a bit farther because you know she likes to cradle her head in it." Booth chuckled, "…and when she falls asleep as we talk her head always seems to drift off to the right side and it doesn't hang down and get a kink or crane because your elbow is already there ready to support her head."

Brennan started to open her mouth but then shut it at a loss for words. Booth went on. "I noticed she likes when you rub her legs and her stomach. You do it almost methodically when you are laying back and she is on your chest. You know just when to stop holding her pacifier in her mouth so she will take it on her own and what to do to make her happy. To make her feel safe and loved, I can't wait to come home and learn everything you already know."

Brennan was smiling and her eyes were glossy. "That was very kind Booth. I want you home as well."

"It was just the truth Bones."

She smiled and wiped at her eyes then looked at Allie readjusting her grip on her so she was now laying her head in the crook of Brennan's arm Brennan leaned down and kissed her soft hair. Booth spoke, "There you just did it." Brennan looked at how she was holding Allie. "I've had a lot of time to observe." Booth chuckled.

"Yes I see." Brennan looked at Allie who was balling up her hands and slobbering on them in her mouth. Brennan sighed, "I wish that wishes were real and that the earth rotated a bit faster so as time would go by faster. Although, I know that the earth can't rotate faster because everything on the planet would most likely die."

Booth laughed, "I love you Bones, tell Angela, Hodgins and the gang Merry Christmas for me." Brennan nodded her head yes. "See you later baby girl. Allie? Allie?" Booth spoke in a voice he seemed to reserve just for Allie. Brennan thought it was strange to speak to her in what Booth and Hodgins referred to as baby talk. Angela did it too and assured her best friend it was normal. Brennan smiled a sad smile; she too reserved a voice just for her daughter. It was soft and sing songish. Though, she just didn't realize it.

Allie looked at Booth flailed her fists and smiled. Booth looked to Brennan with a strangled smile. "I love you Booth." Brennan said knowing he needed to hear the words at that moment.

"I love you too see you soon."

"See you soon Bones and have a good Christmas." Then just like that, Booth was gone and Brennan and Allie were left to wait another day. Brennan looked to the ceiling with a contorted expression and then picked her daughter up bringing her closer to her face as she leaned back and Allie's head rest just below Brennan's chin which she let rest gently on Allie's head. She needed to be as close as she could to her daughter right now. Brennan inhaled knowing today wasn't going to be easy but she had to get it together and soon.

Hodgins smiled at Angela as they woke later than usual. It was eight thirty eight and Hodgins yawned and leaned in to give Angela a kiss. "Merry Christmas babe."

Angela smiled, "And a Merry Christmas to you too."

"Wow, it's almost nine." Hodgins commented as he noticed the alarm clock.

"Do you think Brennan is up?"

"One way to find out." Hodgins smiled getting out of bed in his baggy joe boxer green and blue long pair of pajamas pants. "I'm going to go start breakfast." He kissed Angela and she smiled.

"You are so strange and so sweet. I love you." Angela said and Jack smiled walking out of their bedroom downstairs. He had just taken out the last omelet full of mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, cheese and loads of spinach when Brennan walked into the kitchen in her robe carrying Allie.

"Merry Christmas Dr. Hodgins."

Hodgins smiled at her and Allie, "Merry Christmas Dr. Brennan."

Then Hodgins looked passed Brennan toward the stairs and Brennan turned around to see Angela walking down them. "Merry first Christmas my sweet neice." Angela said in a sing song chipper voice as she walked up to Allie and kissed her neck. Though, Allie only fussed. "Fine then Al."

"It's not you Angela she is hungry." Brennan said nothing else and grabbed the already made bottle in the fridge. Heated it a bit and fed Allie as she took one of the omelets. "Hodgin's this looks wonderful. Thank you."

Everyone agreed and they went and sat on the couch in the living room and ate. Brennan set Allie in her carrier and positioned the bottle so that she didn't have to hold it as Allie drank it.

"I'm glad you are here Bren."

Brennan looked at Angela, "Me too Angela."

"I agree. Dr. B it's nice having you and Al here."

Brennan smiled at Hodgins. "Thank you Doctor Hodgins. I only wish Booth was here as well." Angela and Hodgins both smiled sad smiles at Brennan not really knowing what to say.

Allie's eyes wandered over the bright Christmas tree lights and shiny ornaments as she finished her bottle. Brennan's eyes fell to her daughter's and she smiled tightly at her inhaling and fighting the urge to let her eyes gloss over. Instead she learned to hold the burning sensation in as she waited for Booth. She had been waiting for what seemed an eternity as absurd as it sounded.

_Come home  
>Come home<br>Cause I've been waiting for you  
>For so long<br>For so long  
>And right now there's a war between the vanities<br>But all I see is you and me  
>The fight for you is all I've ever known<br>So come home  
>Oh<em>…

The morning had gone by quicker than Brennan thought it would. Angela was sitting Indian style next to the tree as was Hodgins. Brennan was as well with Allie in her lap. Brennan watched as Angela opened her last present from Hodgins. Her eyes were full of child like curiosity as she opened it…they sparkled.

Angela laughed, smiled, and then started to tear up as she looked at a picture of a six year old Angela microphone in hand while her mother stood arms crossed and rolling her eyes at her in the background and her dad sat to her left strumming away on the guitar.

She set it aside and looked at Hodgins in disbelief. "Where did you get this?" her parents were never what one would call together. Her mom was a groupie. Her dad was Billy Gibbons. Her life wasn't like any other kids. She attended many schools and grew up thinking it was normal to wake up at one in the morning and wander downstairs to find a whole band working on the next big hit.

She didn't live with her dad once she started elementary school for that reason. Her mother had once mumbled to her frustrated, "Angela, promise me you won't ever be involved with a musician! Don't be like me when you get older."

Angela only meekly said "okay" as her mother banged her hands in frustration against the steering wheel. So the picture of the three of them not only together but all in a good mood was a rarity.

"I have my wasy." Hodgins smiled and Angela leaned in and kissed Hodgins. Out of nowhere Allie giggled and the whole scene made Brennan miss Booth even more. Soon she told herself. Soon.

_I get lost in the beauty  
>Of everything I see<br>The world ain't as half as bad  
>As they paint it to be<br>If all the sons  
>If all the daughters<br>Stopped to take it in  
>Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin<br>It might start now..Yeah  
>Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud<br>Until then_…

It was late evening and Brenann had put Allie down for a nap. Hodgins and Angela were listening for her and Brennan decided to take a quick walk outside. It was cold, but the cool crisp air was refreshing as it turned her cheeks red. Brennan inhaled deeply as the cold air pierced her lungs. She exhaled her breath reminding her of cigarette smoke. She walked farther out into the back yard and looked up at the sky.

It was late morning in Afghan and Booth heard a female's voice and looked up to see Hannah. He groaned inwardly at the site of her. Then he smiled as she walked up to one of the other men kissing him and walking off into a tent arm an arm with him. Thank the Lord her mind was elsewhere.

Booth exhaled and looked up to the sky. He remembered Wilson's words. They were under the same sky. He wondered if Bones had seen the sky today and how his girls Christmas morning had gone. He wondered when he would be able to call Parker, and what it looked like in D.C today. He went back to work hoping he would get to talk to her sooner than later.

Angela looked out the glass doors and watched Brennan looking up to the sky her arms wrapped around her. She frowned and opened the door walking outside to join her best friend. "Hey." Brennan turned her head and looked at Angela.

"Hi."

Angela looked up to the sky that Brennan still hadn't took her eyes from yet. She didn't know what they were looking at but put her arm around Brennan knowing she needed the silent comfort. Brennan leaned her head onto Angela's shoulder, "Do you think it's irrational to believe in wishes? To believe they are real and that they can in fact come true." Brennan asked her eyes glossy.

"No. I think it's even plausible that Booth might be wishing on the same bright star you do every night." Angela said and Brennan looked at her friend with a strangled smile trying to hold it back and hold it all in. Though, she couldn't fight it and she broke burying her head in Angela's shoulder. Angela embraced her friend and Hodgins looked out the window at his wife's best friend holding onto his wife as tight as she could as the snow started to fall lightly. He turned with a sigh rubbing his face at the sound of Allie's cries coming through the monitor and headed up stairs to get what had become his niece.

_Come home  
>Come home<br>Cause I've been waiting for you  
>For so long<br>For so long  
>And right now there's a war between the vanities<br>But all I see is you and me  
>The fight for you is all I've ever known<br>Ever known  
>So come home<br>Oh_

Angela held Brennan as she cried and she wondered how Bren did it. She admired her strength and felt empathy for her at the same time. She had never seen Brennan cry, at least not like this. The two pulled apart as Brennan's tears started to subside.

"Hey, it's not much longer Bren. You know you and Allie are welcome to stay as long as you want you don't have to go back to your apartment just yet. We really do enjoy having you two here. You're family and hey look at all that Allie is teaching Hodgins for when our little one arrives." Angela smiled a reassuring smile at her friend.

Brennan smiled and nodded in thanks. "Thank you Angela. I have always considered you family as well, even though we are not genetically related. Though, I can't I...I need to be in my own apartment again. I will be fine. There are millions of single mothers that have done the exact same thing. I won't let Booth's absence affect my everyday life."

Angela frowned, "It already is sweetie."

Brennan looked away toward the house and then back into Angela's eyes. Both women were silent as they stood in the moment, just being. "It's snowing." Brennan noticed as Angela looked up and around them sticking her hand out catching a few flurries.

Angela inhaled the cool air filling her lungs. When she spoke her breath was warmer than the outside air and each word puffed a smoky haze. "Come on let's go inside. It's starting to get dark out."

"I concur." Brennan said with a nostalgic look on her face as they walked back to the house.

It was late and Brennan was in the nursery swaying back and forth with Allie when her cell rang.

"Brennan."

"Dr. Bones?"

"Are you okay Parker?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be okay?" Parker asked curiously and a bit confused. Brennan thought about it and she didn't know why the words had come out of her mouth. Why wouldn't he be okay?

"I…I'm unsure as to why I asked you that question."

"Probably cause I called you late and stuff and I normally don't ever call you anyway."

Brennan smiled as she sat down in the rocker with Allie. He was right. She just hadn't realized it until he pointed it out. She was becoming 'motherly' just as Booth said. She smiled realizing it was true.

"I believe you are correct Parker."

"I called because I wanted to wish you and Allie a Merry Christmas." He said and she smiled.

"Thank you Parker. That is very kind of you. How was your Christmas?"

Parker's eyes lit up and he pulled the comforter up to his chin as he spoke on his new cell phone to Dr. Bones. He heard his mom tell Drew this evening at Christmas dinner that she foresaw Dr. Bones becoming Parker's step-mom eventually. Parker was okay with that idea, especially because she liked houses with pools. "I got a new cell phone and video games and um…I got a lot of stuff. Oh, Drew got me tickets to his favorite football team too! We are going to go see the Packers play Bones!"

Brennan racked her brain to no avail. "I'm unfamiliar with them."

"The Green Bay Packers? Really? They play football for Wisconsin."

"Oh." Brennan said a little too heavily. She thought of Booth and how much he liked to take Parker to his hockey games. She knew he would be happy for Parker, but hurt that he couldn't make it for Christmas to give Parker a gift of his own when Parker spoke to him next.

"I'm very happy for you Parker."

"Me too! What did you get Dr. Bones?"

"Angela and Dr. Hodgins gave me almost all of my gifts early. An oak Crib for Allie, a mobile, a beautiful rocker, a Graco car seat that doubles as a carrier, a swing, baby clothes, bottles, pacifi-"

Parker cut her off, "That is Allie's stuff. What did you get?"

Brennan looked down at Allie and smiled. She was almost asleep; her eyelids were fluttering as she sucked on her pacifier.

"To be someone's mother."

The line was quiet a moment and Brennan could hear Parker breathing as Parker heard Dr. Bones breathing and talking to Allie softly through the line.

"That is a biggest gift. If Mary, she is Jesus' mom, anyway, if she didn't become a mom then we wouldn't have Christmas. That is what dad says anyway. I know Allie is not a miracle baby like Jesus but I think she is because mom says it's a miracle you and dad finally got together." Parker said making Bones laugh.

"I think she is as well Parker."

"I miss Dad Dr. Bones."

Brennan exhaled, "I miss him too Parker." Brennan looked down at Allie who was now asleep.

"I sent him a message today."

"What did it say?"

"I don't know, just stuff."

"That doesn't make sense Parker."

"You know, like how the day was and what I got for Christmas. I asked him about his Christmas and what he was doing. That kind of stuff, did you talk to him?"

"Yes. This morning he was able to skype me."

Parker was mad at first and jealous his dad had called Allie and Dr. Bones but then he remembered waking up to his missed call and a voicemail wishing him a Merry Christmas around five am.

"I wish he was here." Parker said and Brennan exhaled.

"Me too Parker."

"What did he say this morning?"

"He misses us and you. He wants to come home as well."

"I bet he wants to meet Allie really bad." Parker said and Brennan let a single tear slide down her cheek and quickly brushed it away.

"He does."

"I know, he asks about her and when I met her and stuff. He asks about you too. He said there are camels there and they make funny noises! Can you imagine camels running around loose?" Parker laughed but Brennan didn't. She knew Kandahar was a bit more serious than camels running around.

"No."

"When will I get to see you and Allie again?" Parker asked randomly and it caught Brennan off guard pulling her out of another world and back to the child on the other end of the line. Her answer was automatic not only surprising Parker but her as well.

"Tomorrow…I will meet you tomorrow for lunch at the diner."

"I need to ask my mom first." Parker stated and asked all in one. Her quick response was…out of sorts.

"Go ahead."

"Now?"

"If she is preoccupied to not ask her, but if she is not then go ahead."

"Okay, I will call you back in a little bit." Parker said as he lay contemplating then pulled back the comforter and walked out to the kitchen to find his mom loading the dishwasher.

Rebecca turned and eyed her son. "What's up Parker?"

"I just called Dr. Bones to say Merry Christmas and use my new phone."

"That was very nice of you, but it's time for bed kiddo."

"Dr. Bones sounds really sad." Parker said and Rebecca exhaled as she stopped loading the washer and dried her hands on the dish rag to listen to Parker. "Like she was all lonely and stuff… anyway she wanted to know if we could have lunch tomorrow."

Rebecca had a meeting at one tomorrow. She could swing by and drop him off but she didn't want to dump him on Temperance. "Ask her what she is doing for dinner."

"She lives with Dr. Hodgins and Angela."

"Who are they?"

"Her friends from work. Dad says Dr. Hodgins has a mansion and I've met Angela she is really nice."

"Okay, go call her hurry up." Rebecca said and Parker smiled and redialed Bones.

"Brennan."

"It's Parker my mom asked what you were doing for dinner because she was busy for lunch."

"I'm not doing anything. I would like to take your mom and you to the Diner since it's your favorite restaurant and convenient as well."

"Let me ask." Parker lowered his cell in his hand and walked up to his mom. "Mom, Dr. Bones wants to take us to the Diner for dinner tomorrow is that okay."

"Sure. Ask her what time."

Parker raised the cell to his ear. "What time?"

"Six thirty should be sufficient."

"Cool. See you and Allie tomorrow Dr. Bones!"

"See you tomorrow Parker." Then the line was dead. Parker curled up under the comforter as Brennan lay Allie down in her crib and Rebecca finished the last of the dishes. Brennan grabbed the lap top and started a letter to Booth.

_Booth,_

_Parker called me to wish me and Allie a Merry Christmas tonight. He, Rebecca, Allie and I are having dinner at the diner tomorrow. I had a good Christmas Booth. I didn't tell anyone, but Angela and Hodgins gave me a picture they took of me holding Allie for the first time. I don't look half as bad as I thought I would. The picture has editing on it to make the glow of the flash accentuated to look like a halo that encompasses Allie and me. I love it. It's a very pretty picture._

_Though, I had a hard time without you here today too Booth. Angela said it was okay if I stayed here until you returned. I don't know how to feel about that. I'm independent and part of me wants to leave badly and get into my own place while the other part just wants to wait until you get here. I can't be something I'm not. I can't be a dependent person, but I find I need you Booth. I need you and I'm unsure as what I should do as of tonight. I love you and hope you had a good day and a Merry Christmas._

_Love,_

_Bones_

_Everything I can't be  
>Is everything you should be<br>And that's why I need you here  
>Everything I can't be<br>Is everything you should be  
>And that's why I need you here<br>So hear this now_…

Brennan sighed and shut the lap top before she went to bed she walked over and looked at little Allie asleep in the crib. Sucking away on her pacifier, she looked so peaceful. She crawled into bed pulling the comforter up to her chin and drifted off into another world and time.

Angela got up rubbing her head and walked down the hall into the kitchen for some orange juice. She wanted orange juice and that was that. She stopped when she heard something coming from Brennan's room and opened the door a crack to hear Brennan mumbling in her dreams. "Booth…home…" Brennan rolled over. "Soon...no, not tonight, tonight…not tonight…." Angela shut the door and sighed continuing down stairs to get her orange juice.

_Come home  
>Come home<br>Cause I've been waiting for you  
>For so long<br>For so long  
>And right now there's a war between the vanities<br>But all I see is you and me  
>The fight for you is all I've ever known<br>Ever known  
>So come home<br>Come home…_

eh, I think this one is so so. I'm up for inspirational ideas although I pretty much have one if you hang around a little while longer. I know it needs a little shake up etc. I like giving Allie a type of 'wise beyond her years' view of the world through her eyes type deal. What do you think?


	24. The Rock

_By the dawns early light my baby's far away_

_Still the kids and I will start another missing him day_

_Only destiny knows when he'll return_

_We'll be here for him keeping the fires burning…_

_I am the Rock, a foundation of love _

_Solid and true with strength from above_

_I keep this family going, I stand beside my man_

_I live without knowing_

_I am the Rock_

_The Rock by Amy-Jayne McCabe_

Angela frowned at Brennan in the kitchen as she watched Brennan put syrup on her pancake, "Sweetie, you don't have to go. Just stay until after New Years?"

Allie was with Hodgins in the living room. Brennan inhaled her expression did not waver. "No. I need to Angela. I'm aware that I have notably changed since Booth and I ended up on opposite ends of the world and have a daughter together." Brennan handed the syrup to Angela and she took it pouring syrup on her pancakes as the two sat at the kitchenette.

"I'm also aware that just because Booth is overseas and I am here, that my and Allie's life cannot come to a halt. I need to keep living life for normality's sake. For Allie if nothing else and I want to be in my own apartment by New Years. Women do it all the time Angela. Rebecca had Parker by herself because Booth was put in the brig for going AWOL to see him when he was born."

"Sweetie, that is very admirable of you to do, move out and keep going but you aren't Rebecc-"

"It's not admirable it's necessary." Brennan informed Angela.

Angela frowned knowing she had lost the battle before it even begun. "Well you know I'm going to be over there all the time." Angela smiled and Brennan smiled back.

"Ange, in less than a month Allie will be in the Jeffersonian daycare and I will be back at work. You will see me every day."

Angela exhaled a chuckle, "She is getting so big so fast."

"Yes, babies grow quickly." Brennan said nonchalantly but Angela could tell she was thinking of Booth.

"We will help you move the rest of your stuff in today and tomorrow."

Brennan smiled, "Thank you. Oh, I'm unsure if I told you that Allie and I are having dinner with Rebecca and Parker tonight so I won't be here."

Angela nodded, "Parker must be ecstatic."

Brennan smiled a lopsided grin loving when she made people happy or did something socially 'right'. "He is very happy. He misses Booth very much as well and likes to see Allie. She seems to make everyone happier, even if only for a moment."

"She does make everyone a little happier doesn't she? Then again she is my niece so what did you expect?" Angela chuckled and Brennan rolled her eyes.

"It's proven that the presence of a child, not just a baby decreases depression in people. I use to think it was unexplainable and quit ridiculous. Why would added stress bring joy? Though, now even though I don't know why, I know it is true. Kids have a certain innocence that adults do not and I think that may be why they bring joy to heavy hearts."

"You're right. Booth's absence and a baby have changed you. No, not changed…." Angela searched for the word. She smiled and pointed her fork at Brennan "Molded. Yes, it's molded you into a more yielding substance."

"Are you saying I am now soft?"

Angela chuckled a bit louder, "No, definitely not. You are still very much Bren… just…with a motherly underlining."

Brennan smiled taking the last bite of her pancake then picked up her plate and put it in the washer. Angela remained sitting finishing the last bit of her breakfast in thought. What Brennan deemed necessary was in fact admirable. She was one of…maybe the strongest person she knew. What she was doing on her own, learning to accept love, the pregnancy, Allie's birth, and now raising her alone for the first few months. She was holding down the fort and while Angela knew women did it all the time. It was something else to see such strength first hand.

Just to know one of these military spouses' or their significant others because the strength she saw in Brennan's eyes. It was a new look. A type of new found strength and Angela didn't know where it came from. Only that Bren's eyes were deeper and darker now.

She was like a large oak standing tall and never wavering except on certain days when the winter winds blew just a little too violently. The leaves trembled on the branches and the wind stripped them bare and shook Brennan to the core. Those were the bad days.

Angela noticed Brennan had become braver, sweeter, and even smarter in certain areas as of late. Then again, she had no choice. It was survival of the fittest and she knew only the strongest relationships survived. The flame inside her would never die instead her glowing embers continued to burn hot and slow until he returned.

"Angela?" Brennan called bringing her out of her silent reverie. Brennan walked into the kitchen Allie now in her arms.

"Hhmm?"

"If you are finished Hodgins has gone upstairs and I gathered most of Allie's things together yesterday. So, we can start to load it in his truck now."

"Oh, yeah of course sweetie." Angela rose and put her dish in the sink and went upstairs to change out of her pajamas.

_By the dawns early light my baby's far away_

_Still the kids and I will start another missing him day_

_Only destiny knows when he'll return_

_We'll be here for him keeping the fires burning…_

"Why don't we call Cam or Sweets to help? Sweets could stand to have some more muscle on him." Angela said and Hodgins chuckled.

"No, there is no need to disturb there day when we are perfectly capable of moving everything on our own. Allie and I don't have that much large stuff here. The crib, her swing, change table, stroller and the rocker are the largest things we have. Everything else is only clothes, formula, diapers, bibs and things of that nature. I have much of that at my apartment already. Most can be moved in her diaper bag."

It was now three thirty and the four were on their way upstairs with the last of Brennan's things, the heavy crib. Angela was in Brennan's apartment with Allie. Brennan, Hodgins and a helpful father and teenage son from the lobby named Ian and Tristan helped carry it to the elevator and into her apartment.

The four set it down and stretched standing. "Thank you Ian and Tristan for your help."

"Don't worry about it. Tristan needed to do some heavy lifting. Isn't that right Tristan?" Ian said in an English accent chuckling as Tristan laughed flexing his arm muscles.

"Yes, I'm new in school and this is my first semester in the states. I intend to try out for the baseball team. Here is to staying in shape." Tristan laughed.

Ian added, "We are your neighbors it's the least we could do."

"Are you? When did you move into the building?" asked Brennan and Angela walked up to them. Allie tried looking at the two new people with strange sounding voices.

"I believe it's been a month exactly." Ian said and Brennan nodded and as Allie started to squirm in Angela's arms Brennan held her hands out and took her daughter from her.

"What is her name?" Tristan asked.

"Allie Booth."

"That is a lovely name Dr. Brennan. She is a beautiful baby. Though, I would love to stay and chat my wife should be home any minute."

"I understand and it was nice meeting you as well." Said Brennan then Ian turned to Hodgins. "I hope to see you again Dr. Brennan and Mr. Booth. You have a beautiful daughter. My wife will most likely be stopping by to drop off some sort of baked good." Ian smiled and extended his hand.

"This is my friend Dr. Jack Hodgins and his wife Angela. She is Allie's Godmother. Allie's father is overseas in the military, but he will be home in February." Brennan said not missing a beat.

Everyone watched as Ian's face changed a bit and he became more serious. "Oh, I'm sorry my apologies. I look forward to meeting Mr. Booth soon." Ian said shaking Brennan's hand as did Tristan.

"There is no need to apologize you didn't know and I'm sure he will look forward to meeting you as well. Again thank you." Brennan said.

As they walked out the door Tristan turned around, "Oh my mom's name is Elizabeth but everyone calls her Liz. I hope you like homemade apple pie, which is her specialty."

Brennan smiled at Tristan. "It's my favorite." Brennan smiled as the two disappeared out of her apartment. She turned to Angela and Hodgins.

"Well they seem nice." Said Hodgins.

"His wife bakes 'welcome to the neighborhood' pie's I assure you they are a little strange." Angela said not knowing why she was being mean. Hodgins looked at his wife realizing she was jealous of Dr. Brennan's neighbors! He almost laughed.

"I think they were very nice as well Angela."

"Well I'm still keeping my eye on you like a hawk."

"Angela a hawk would rarely be in D.C and even if one were it would be much more interested in keeping its eyes on rodents or some type food source."

Angela smiled rolling her eyes. Hodgins was the one who spoke up, "Well let's put this in the nursery."

"It's coming along nicely." Brennan said and they both agreed. Hodgins had already put most of her stuff in it and as a surprise. While Hodgins and Brennan carried things up into the apartment Allie slept in her carrier in the living room and Angela organized the nursery even hanging the picture of Brennan holding Allie for the first time in the hospital on the wall.

It was now going on four thirty and all of the big things were organized already. It was time for Angela and Hodgins to leave. "That is everything, thank you." Brennan said and Angela realized Bren was really staying. They had moved everything out in one day. She wasn't coming back. It felt weird, like when an older sister moves out. One knows they will see each other again, but it will never be like before. When the stealing of clothes and shared sisterly moments happened on a daily basis, that chapter in life was over.

Angela frowned and stood in front of Brennan. "I really wish you would stay a bit longer, but I know there is no way in hell you will. I love you Bren and I will miss Al and you."

"Angela you will see us probably two to three times a week and every day once I start work again."

"I know." Angela embraced Brennan with glossy eyes. "I hate goodbyes."

"Booth said never to say goodbye, but to say 'see you later'." Brennan smiled pulling out of her friends embrace.

"See you later Bren." Angela looked at Allie and kissed her cheek and tickled her toes. "You be good for your mommy Allie girl."

Hodgins walked up to Brennan, "I think it's the pregnancy hormones talking too."

Brennan smiled wide. "Thank you for allowing me and Allie in your home Dr. Hodgins."

"Are you kidding? Dr. B it's no biggie. You are family, and even for some reason I didn't want you there. Angela would probably divorce me if I told her you couldn't stay." Hodgins laughed and was impressed that Brennan didn't take his sarcasm literal but chuckled and hugged him tightly.

Hodgins kissed Allie's toes and forehead, "Hey Al, we will see you again soon. Make sure your mom behaves." Hodgins said making a funny face which made Allie smile.

Now they stood Bren holding Allie and Hodgins and Angela looking at them. "Take care of yourself sweetie."

"Angela I'm only fifteen to twenty minutes away from you just as before. I'm in my same apartment. Thank you, but we will be fine."

Angela smiled and hugged her best friend once more. "See you later Bren."

"See you soon Angela. See you soon Dr. Hodgins."

"You too Dr. B." Hodgins hugged Brennan once more and then the two left and Brennan shut the door behind them. She looked around the apartment. She whispered to Allie, "We're home Al." Though, it wasn't a home, not yet.

Angela and Hodgins walked into their home. Angela looked around, her eyes glanced to where Allie's swing use to be and the couch that usually had Allie's diaper bag with a spit up rag and pacifier next to it. "It seems quieter." Angela said to her husband and he pulled her into a hug.

"They will be fine Ange, it's Brennan." Hodgins said, but as he held her that was just it she thought to herself. It's Brennan and Brennan doesn't know when to stop she will keep marching on until she falls down from exhaustion. She doesn't acknowledge her pain, but lets it build and build until she breaks.

Angela sighed, "Your right."

_I am the Rock, a foundation of love _

_Solid and true with strength from above_

_I keep this family going, I stand beside my man_

_I live without knowing_

_I am the Rock_

The hours went by slower than at Angela's place as Brennan adjusted to life in her apartment with Allie. It was seven and Allie was still sleeping in her crib. Brennan went and sat in the rocker; she inhaled and looked around exhaling. She grabbed her laptop and opened it setting on the desk top in the nursery. She knew Booth wouldn't be on right now, so she started a letter instead.

_Booth,_

_Today Angela and Dr. Hodgins helped me_

She heard a familiar noise and smiled as she clicked on the small box and Booth's face appeared.

"Bones!"

Allie started to fuss and Booth watched as she called out "Hang on Booth." and walked over to pick Allie up. She set her on her lap and Allie's eyes wandered to Booth searching his face, studying him.

"Where are you Bones?"

"I moved back into my apartment today. Angela and Hodgins helped me."

Booth noticed she sounded happy. He had mixed feelings on the matter. He knew it was a fact of life. Like Wilson said, "I'm sure she is a strong woman. It takes a strong woman, a certain kind of woman to deal with all of this." All of this meaning everything they were going through.

"I'm happy for you Bones." Booth said as he started to speak in what Brennan referred to as his Allie voice to their little girl. "Hey Allie baby, hey little girl." Booth smiled at his daughter and she smiled back.

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I have to go soon. I'm meeting Rebecca and Parker at the diner for dinner. Parker is very excited."

Booth smiled glad that Rebecca and Bones got along. Then again who didn't Bones get along with? He was happy his son was going to get to spend time with his sister.

"Tell them hi for me Bones and tell Parker I love him."

"I will Booth."

"Are you sure you two are okay alone at your apartment?"

Brennan smiled at his worry, "Booth, I'm a grown woman. I am fine. We are fine. I couldn't impose on Angela and Hodgins forever. Besides many women raise children by their selves from the first day they bring them home. For example, Rebecca raised Parker alone for the first few weeks and many to follow."

Booth frowned at her last sentence. "I would have helped her if she would have let me." Booth said a bit defensive.

Brennan's voice lowered a bit so it was soft, this tone was new to Booth as she spoke. "I know you would have Booth. I'm very happy that she agreed to joint custody." She smiled a sad smile and Booth touched the screen and Brennan held her hand up to the screen as well. Brennan felt the sting of gloss in her eyes, but no tears fell. Though, Booth wiped at his eye.

"Me too Bones. I'll be home soon."

Brennan nodded, "I have to go Booth. I love you."

"I love you guys too."

"Facetime me."

Booth smiled at her. "If I can I will." Bones smiled. "Talk to you later Bones."

"Later." Brennan repeated. Then shut the lap top's screen put Allie in her carrier and made sure she had everything she needed in her diaper bag. Brennan turned to Allie, "Alright, now let's go see your brother."

Brennan drove with a smile on her face and periodically checked the rearview mirror to glance at Allie in the back seat as she drove. Their daughter though awake was quiet observing her surroundings…she looked peaceful. Brennan thought of Booth, glad she had been able to speak with him. She thought she knew for sure he wouldn't be online at this time of day. Though, it was the military and in reality she never really knew what was going on over there. Not all of it.

She just knew her house wasn't a home and she wouldn't give up on them. She wouldn't admit she was a bit hesitant of being alone tonight, wouldn't tell Booth how she had broke down in Angela's arms. She couldn't because she knew his days weren't much better, but that there would be better days to come. She would do whatever it took to keep them both happy. He didn't need to know of her bad days, he didn't like it when she cried because he loved her. He had told her, so many times. She smiled at that and held her head up high.

_As my day unfolds, I reach into my soul Though I'm proud of him I need some peace of mind to hold And when I think about the the sacrifices he makes I'll do what I can do whatever it takes_

Rebecca looked at Brennan and smiled, she was a mommy alright. She walked in the Diner not before them, but second. Allie's carrier in her right arm a diaper bag slung over her left with her hair pulled in a long pony tail.

She scooted Allie into the booth first then slid in next to her daughter in her carrier. She exhaled smiling when she sat, "Hi Parker. Hello Rebecca, sorry I was late."

"It's no big deal don't worry about it Temperance."

"Guess what Dr. Bones?"

"I have no way of knowing what you are going to say Parker."

Parker didn't care to explain. "Dad called me today!" Parker said happily.

Brennan smiled a bright smile intrigued and excited for the little boy. "What did he say?"

"He said he loved me and all that junk and to tell Allie and you that he loved you too. Oh, and to have fun at dinner tonight." Parker glanced at a boy around his age walk in the diner with his dad and mom. He looked away back into Dr. Bones eyes. "I…I asked him when he was coming home, but he said he didn't know…not for sure." Parker shrugged his shoulders at Bones.

Annie came up to the table to refill everyone's drinks and get Brennan one. She noticed Parker's long face. "Do you know when he is gonna come home Dr. Bones? Mom said sometime in February, that's two more months. Ugh…" Parker leaned back against the booth slumping down in it. "…school will have started back up then."

"I don't know either. I know as much as you do Parker." Brennan said as she glanced at Allie pushing a blanket up over her a little more.

"I wish he was home now." The conversation was taking a turn as Parker started to have a bit of a melt-down. "It's not fair. Why did he go? He shouldn't have."

Rebecca noticed Parker was becoming pouty and frustrated with Seeley's absence. "Parker look at me." Parker looked to Rebecca with big brown saucer like eyes. "Your dad will be home soon, and you will be fine. Besides, what did he say to do tonight?"

Parker mumbled, "Have fun."

"Exactly, so cheer up buddy. It will be okay, I promise." Rebecca pulled Parker to her in an embrace that Parker half heartedly returned.

"You can't promise that because you don't know." Parker said a bit mad with his mom.

Annie returned with Brennan's drink. "Dr. Brennan I do believe that is one of the cutest-"

Parker cut her off and rambled on. "I mean everyone else had their dad's for Christmas and I know I don't spend Christmas day with him but I always see him for an extra week during Christmas…"

"Parker Booth I know you are upset, but that was very rude to interrupt Ms. Annie."

Brennan watched Rebecca's interaction with Parker unsure of what she thought of it. Parker turned to Annie, "Sorry." He mumbled.

"It's okay hon, you know when I was young I had two boys and their daddy was gone for Christmas too." Annie said.

Parker ignored Rebecca and intrigued listened to Annie. Allie seemed to watch Annie talk along with the rest of the group as well.

"Was he in a war too?" Parker asked the gloss in his eyes drying as he listened.

"He was. It was called The Vietnam War."

"Did your kids get to talk to their dad on the computer like Allie and Dr. Bones do? They get to see him more." Parker whined upset and Brennan felt bad.

"No they never got to see him. We didn't have computers back then."

"No computers?" Parker said and Rebecca smiled at Brennan who returned it. "So, they only talked to him on the cell phone like me?"

Annie smiled Parker didn't know how lucky he was. "No, there were no cell phones either."

"Seriously!"

"Yes, my only contact with my husband was through letters." Annie said and Brennan looked up at Annie. She didn't know her, but she knew she had once known a man who loved her fiercely. One could tell by the look in her eyes and the strong steady way she walked. She was a confident older woman with a pleasant personality.

She had raised two boys, cried alone, lived alone, missed, and loved passionately, all without knowing what was going on with her husband day to day. She was not only her husband's rock, but her children's. She was the glue that held the family together through thick and thin. But she was just Annie to most.

_I am the Rock, a foundation of love _

_Solid and true with strength from above_

_I keep this family going, I stand beside my man_

_I live without knowing_

_I am the Rock_

"So see you aren't the only one spending Christmas without your daddy Parker."

"I know, but he is like billions of miles away." Parker said exasperated.

"Actually Parker, he is neither billions nor millions of miles away. He is thousands, therefore he is not as far as you originally thought." Brennan corrected trying to comfort him with facts that did no good.

Annie only smiled and shook her head exhaling, "Oh Parker, sweet boy. It's never about the miles. You don't ever count the miles."

"But Dr. Bones is really smart. My dad said she is the smartest person he knows. So, she does know how many miles away he really is from us." Parker informed Annie.

Annie looked to Brennan, "Yes Parker, but Dr. Brennan forgot one very important thing."

Brennan was curious, "What did I forget? It is only natural for one to wonder how many miles away a loved one is."

Annie smiled, "You don't count the miles, you count the '_I love you's'_"

Brennan smiled a sad smile at Annie and Parker was silent. Rebecca let out a puff of air at how true those words were. Allie was the one who broke the silence with a random giggle. Brennan knew Annie was right, because their love ran so much deeper than the miles that kept them apart. Their love was endless, the miles were not.

Brennan looked at Allie and brushed her cheek then picked her up out of her carrier. Her big blue eyes looked at everything with a curious fascination then settled on Annie. The world turned without Booth sitting next to them, but he would be home eventually.

_It will be ok and I will not stumble, _

_Our love is so strong Our world will not crumble_

Annie went on, "You see Parker there are bound to be many more I love you's than miles and love is endless it's what connects you to your dad." Parker only nodded yes and later while all three ate warm apple pie Allie looked at Parker and held out her hands flailing them about.

"Can I hold her Dr. Bones?" Parker asked and Brennan was unsure at first, but quickly decided.

"Yes, but come sit over with me." Brennan said and Parker smiled.

"Okay." Parker smiled and scooted into the seat next to Brennan. From behind the bar Annie watched as Parker smiled largely and Allie was placed in his hands.

"Like this…" Brennan said showing Parker how to support her head when she needed it and cradle her body close so that she was comfortable.

"Hi Allie I'm your brother. My name is Parker. We met before, but I didn't get to hold you. Wow. You have very big eyes. They look like your mom's. Your mom is a pretty cool person. She loves our dad a lot. Like a lot, a lot. We both have the same dad…" Parker trailed off forgetting there were other people around him. Rebecca and Brennan smiled at each other watching Parker with Allie.

"…our dad loves us. He told me to tell you that he loves you lots and lots when I spoke to him today. Wasn't that crazy what our waitress Annie said about no cell phones or computers? I feel bad for her kids not even talking to their dad. I like hearing dad's voice. I still wish dad would hurry up and get home though. You know when he comes home we are going to live together. When you start to crawl and get into everything stay out of my stuff. You won't like it, its boy stuff anyway and you're a girl. My mom thinks your mom will be my step-mom one day…"

Brennan looked up from the kids to Rebecca and Rebecca shrugged.

"…I would be okay with that. I mean your mom is a genius and even better than that she has a pool."

Rebecca chuckled a little loud and Parker looked up he never did realize anyone heard his little conversation. "What is so funny mom?"

"Nothing, but it is nine Parker. Time to go kiddo."

"Man, can we have dinner again Dr. Bones?"

"Yes, of course. I moved out of Dr. Hodgins place and into my apartment. You can come to my house one night if you would like."

"Yeah! Can we mom?"

Rebecca smiled, "Yes, of course."

"Awesome! I'm going to the restroom."

"Okay Parker. Tempe when did you move back in?"

Brennan inhaled, "Today."

"First night together at your own place, must feel good." Rebecca said.

"Yes, I am very happy…Rebecca?"

"Yes?"

"Nevermind."

"What is it Temperance?"

"I…"

"Get past the first night. We will come over soon for dinner and don't give up on him. He will be home soon. Then the apartment will feel more like a home and not as empty."

"I will see you soon. It was good to see you Rebecca."

Parker raced up to them, "I'm back!"

"I see. Give Allie and Tempe a hug and kiss before we go."

Parker said, "And don't forget to say I love you." He smiled feeling smart referencing Annie.

Soon it was just Brennan and Allie. Brennan stood digging for a wipe in the diaper bag to clean Allie's face. She grabbed the carrier and started to walk out of the diner but was stopped by a voice.

"She is a beautiful baby Dr. Brennan." Said Annie.

"Thank you." Brennan turned and started to leave but Annie went on as Brennan walked away.

"I use to count the stars as well. I'd wish on the brightest one and often wonder if he was wishing on the same one."

Brennan stopped in her tracks and looked up to the ceiling for what? She suddenly realized why she did it now. Strength. She did it when she needed to pull that last little bit of courage and strength from the depths of her soul up to the forefront. Never turning to face Annie Brennan went on, "Do you…" she swallowed, "…do you think he was?"

"I know he was. The brightest star is a planet. That is the one we wished on. I only wished he come home safe."

"…and?"

"Wishes are real."

Brennan turned around to face Annie and gave her a tight sad smile that showed her glossy eyes.

"He'll be home soon honey." Brennan nodded yes and Annie stood arms crossed a smile on her face as she watched the doctor walk out the door and down the sidewalk with a carrier in one hand and the diaper bag over her shoulder.

_I am the Rock, a foundation of love _

_Solid and true with strength from above_

_I keep this family going, I stand beside my man_

_I live without knowing_

Brennan walked in the door and exhaled. She looked around the apartment. Rebecca was right it wasn't a home, not yet. Right now it was just a shell of a house. She walked into the nursery and put a sleeping

Allie in her crib. She hesitated as she left the nursery to walk into her room. It felt odd leaving Allie in her nursery while she slept elsewhere because at Angela's she slept in the nursery with her. She inhaled and walked on into her room changing into her pajamas and climbing in her own bed.

Though, the bed felt huge and it was made up on one side. Brennan sighed rolling over she stare at the ceiling wondering how Booth was tonight and of the injured men he spent Christmas with. She wondered how Strickland was doing, what the weather was like over there tonight, if he had been eating any better, if he really wished on the same star as her, but most of all she wondered exactly when he was coming home. She rolled over knowing she had no way of knowing. Not tonight.

_I am the Rock_

_Yes, I live without knowing _

_But I am the Rock_

* * *

><p><em>How do you guys like Annie? So Bren is finally back in her own place by New Years just like she wanted! She will adjust, life stops for no one. and 'don't count the miles count the i love you's ;0) Brennan has decent neighbors it seems. Hope you guys enjoy drop a line a word whatever and let me know how this chap was...oh how do you guys like the songs? because I take a while to pick them out for each chap ;)<br>_


	25. Come Home Soon

_I put away the groceries  
>And I take my daily bread<br>I dream of your arms around me  
>As I tuck the kids in bed<em>

_I don't know what you're doin'  
>And I don't know where you are<br>But I look up at that great big sky  
>And I hope you're wishin' on that same<br>bright star_

_I wonder, I pray_

_Chorus:__  
>And I sleep alone<br>I cry alone  
>And it's so hard livin' here on my own<br>So please, come home soon  
>(Come home soon)<em>

_Come Home Soon by SheDaisy  
><em>

Brennan and Allie had been in her apartment for three weeks now. Brennan sighed as she fed Allie. She was now two and a half months old. Last night they had dinner with Rebecca and Parker, it was nice. She walked over to the window and stood looking outside. It was early Monday morning and the sky was dark, everything was dead and the streets were relatively empty. It was depressing. Though, it was January in D.C did she really expect a bright sunny day? She smiled as she remembered yesterday.

_The hours passed slowly and before she knew it, it was lunch time. Brennan opened the fridge and grimaced at its shelves. She needed to go shopping; she would go today when she went to get tonight's dessert for everyone. She still wasn't sick of the warm cooked apples she once hated .Rebecca and Parker loved apple pie as well. So, it was a good thing to get even if they did eat it whenever they had dinner._

_Brennan had just returned from the grocery store, it was getting dark. Before she went to the store she stopped by the reflecting pool. She wandered around a bit with Allie. She didn't know why. Probably the same reason she came and sat on the bench when she was pregnant and little Savvy Markham came up to her and told her she was going to be a dolphin trainer when she grew up. Brennan smiled thinking of Savvy's words as she cleaned out the shelves and put away the groceries. _

_I put away the groceries  
>And I take my daily bread<br>I dream of your arms around me  
>As I tuck the kids in bed<em>

"_Damn it!" she mumbled under her breath as she finished putting away the groceries. She had forgotten to get dessert. Parker always looked forward to dessert. She bundled Allie back up and put her in her carrier ready to head back out. She bent down to grab her diaper bag when she heard a knock at the door._

"_Hello are you Dr. Brennan?" a pretty blonde woman holding a pie asked sweetly._

"_Yes, who are you?"_

"_Elizabeth Martin. My husband Ian, son Tristan and I just moved in about a month and half ago from Redding, England. Ian and Tristan said they helped you move some of your things into your apartment."_

_Brennan smiled, "Oh yes." Brennan stepped aside, "Come in." _

"_Thank you, but I can't stay I have dinner on." Elizabeth said, "Tristan said you liked apple pie. I like to bake and made you one." Liz said handing it to Brennan. Brennan smiled and chuckled a bit at Elizabeth's timing._

"_Thank you Elizabeth I was just heading out to get an apple pie." Brennan said taking the pie into the kitchen._

"_Call me Liz, everyone else does. What is your daughter's name she is beautiful."_

"_Allie, Allie Booth."_

"_What a pretty name."_

"_Thank you Liz. You can call me Tempe if you wish."_

"_Of course, and if you ever need anything I am right next door." Liz said her hand on the doorknob. _

"_Thank you for the pie Liz it was nice meeting you. I will see you around?"_

"_I'm sure, we do live in the same building honey and it was nice meeting you as well Tempe." The door shut softly behind her. _

_Suddenly the apartment was silent and lonely again. Brennan bounced Al on her side as she walked over to the window and looked out of it. It was dark outside now and the stars were out. She sighed wondering how tomorrow would unfold. Tomorrow was Monday and she was going back to work. Which meant Allie was going to daycare._

_Brennan looked up at the brightest star. She exhaled as Allie began to fall asleep in her arms. Looking up to the night's sky she wondered what Booth was doing and how he was tonight. It would be a full moon tomorrow. It was strange, strange because she wished to prolong tomorrow and to speed it up all at once._

"_Sergeant Major!" Adams called to Booth happy to be back on base. "Where is Strickland? Heard the little bastard was hit."_

_Strickland had taken a turn for the worst the day after Christmas. Booth looked to his left and ran his hands through his hair exhaling a frown. "I'm sorry."_

"_Oh."Adams said the two letter word heavy, with a set jaw. He was silent a bit as he processed the information and Booth watched his body tense. Then the anger kicked in. "Fuck! Damn it Strickland! Fucking A!"_

"_I spent Christmas with him. He had a good Christmas."_

_Adams nodded. Strickland was Adams best friend. Booth left Adams alone and walked away. He didn't know where he was going, just elsewhere into the cold, dark night. He looked up at the sky and wondered what Bones' night was like tonight. What her morning would be like tomorrow?_

_His eyes searched the sky, the moon was almost full. His eyes came to rest on the brightest star. He was far from home. Adams was changed forever. Strickland was gone. Booth had a daughter back in the states he had never met as well as an Indonesian princess and son who missed him. He smiled a faint smile, Bones as a princess ha! She would be an unconventional one that's for sure. _

_He frowned as he held his thumb up to the almost full moon. It covered it. He missed home._

Brennan exhaled as she took one last look at the grey morning's sky. She had wished tomorrow would never come and that it would come quickly all at once. Either way it was here. Today she went back to work. Slinging Allie's diaper bag over her shoulder she whispered to her daughter, "Time to go Al."

_I don't know what you're doin'  
>And I don't know where you are<br>But I look up at that great big sky  
>And I hope you're wishin' on that same<br>bright star_

_I wonder, I pray_

Brennan inhaled as she walked down the corridor to the Jeffersonian's daycare. Opening the door she was greeted by a woman with a large smile. There were three women actually and they all seemed very nice. "Hello, I'm Dr. Brennan and this is my daughter Allie. I would like to enroll her in daycare."

A woman in her fifties spoke, "She is a cutie. My name is Jan it's nice to meet you. I have some of your books Dr. Brennan, you are an excellent author. I didn't know you had a daughter, don't worry we will take excellent care of her."

"Thank you." Jan handed Brennan some forms to fill out and Brennan hesitantly handed her Allie. "I will see you soon Allie. Be good." Brennan stroked her cheek and leaned down and kissed her forehead. The little girl's big eyes wandered from her mother to Jan and back on her mom. Brennan opened the door, but not without turning her head to look at her daughter. Inhaling she walked out of the daycare and toward the lab, one step at a time.

She walked up the steps and was greeted by Cam first. "Dr. Brennan!" Cam smiled largely and Brennan put on her fake smile, she had mastered being 'fine' even on the hard days. She cried alone.

"How are you and little Allie doing? Dr. Hodgins said you moved back into your apartment a few weeks ago."

"I did, and we are both doing fine. Rebecca and Parker were over last night for dinner. Parker enjoys spending time with his sister, and while at times Rebecca and I don't know what to speak about. We have Parker and Allie in common and they have proven to be quite an entertaining duo."

Cam smiled, "I'm happy for you. When will Booth be returning?"

"I'm unsure of the exact date, but hopefully sometime in February."

Cam clapped her hands together and smiled, "Well let's get started on the case. We have-"

Angela saw Brennan and Brennan saw Angela, "Bren! Sweetie." The two best friends embraced. "You never called me back yesterday Bren." Angela scolded hands on her hips.

"Oh, I'm here now what did you want?"

"Sweetie, I didn't need or want anything. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"So, you wanted to know how I was doing. I'm fine."

Angela frowned following Brennan into her office. "How did Allie do when she had to go into daycare?"

Brennan didn't look up from some forms Cam had given her. "She was fine."

"And you?"

"I'm fine as well. Angela who is the new agent assigned on this case?"

"Perotta."

Brennan nodded her head, "I need to speak with Dr. Edison and Cam about the time of death. It doesn't leave a sufficient amount of time for the perpetrator to kill both people in the fashion Hodgins predicted."

Perotta walked into Brennan's office behind Angela. "Yes, I agree. I'm going back to the crime scene if you want to go."

Brennan nodded, "Yes of course," collected her files and walked out of her office as she walked with Perotta she turned to Angela, "You are the first one on Allie's contact sheet if I'm not back in time or if she should need anything. See you later Angela."

Angela was left standing on the platform with Cam. Cam broke the silence, "Well this should be interesting."

Angela inhaled and went back to work agreeing with Cam and shaking her head.

Brennan and Perotta were in the SUV on the way to the scene. It felt a bit odd without Booth. "So Agent Booth is in Afghanistan?" Perotta asked.

"Yes, he should be returning around February."

"Have you two talked at all?"

Brennan was silent a moment in thought, thinking of things they had spoken of and things she wanted to speak about. Mainly she just wanted him home. "Yes."

"So, what made you leave your dig?" That was when Brennan realized she didn't know.

"I had too. I was pregnant."

"Oh I'm sorry for your loss."

"I don't understand, I did not miscarriage, Allie is in the Jeffersonian daycare."

Perotta slowed at a red light and the two sat in wait for the light to turn green. "So were you pregnant when you left the states or…"

"Booth is the father. Yes I was, but I didn't know it."

Perotta said nothing and Brennan looked at her. Silence could be so damn loud. Finally she found her voice, "Congratulations Dr. Brennan."

"Thank you."

The two spoke nothing of Booth or Allie for the rest of the day, but stayed focused on the case. Soon they figured out Brennan was correct as was the time of death. Hodgins was also correct. It was that there were two killers; the second was a copy cat killer. Therefore allowing sufficient time to kill just as the first killer, Angela was able to distinguish by the killer's handwriting that there were in fact two different killers. The case was closed until tomorrows.

Brennan packed her things quickly into her briefcase and locked up her office fast as well. She told Angela and the gang she would see them tomorrow and then she headed to the nursery as fast as her legs could carry her. Walking inside she found Allie smiling at the girl that looked bout twenty. She was in a swing and the girl was making funny sounds and faces at her daughter.

Jan walked up to greet her, "Dr. Brennan, it's good to see you. She was an angel. She never even cried."

Brennan felt mixed emotions at the fact Allie didn't seem to care Brennan had left her with strangers. Daycare had proved to be much harder on Brennan than Allie. Brennan worried even though she knew Allie was in good hands they weren't her hands.

She thanked Jan and the other women and went home. She had some Mac N Cheese while she sat down on the couch settling on a documentary and fed Allie. Allie fell asleep half way through the documentary, tired of her big day. Brennan walked into the nursery and laid her in her crib. She let her fingers smooth over her soft hair and traced a circle on her now full tummy and smiled sadly. "Daddy will be home soon Al…soon."

She sighed and walked into her room hoping on the laptop she started a message. Though, her fingers stopped typing and she smiled when she heard that familiar sound. Booth. She clicked on the box with a smile; he looked back into her eyes. He needed her after everything.

"Booth."

"Hey Bones."

"I started work today."

Booth was quiet a moment. He thought of Allie in daycare and wondered who his replacement was. How was the case?

"How was it?"

"It was harder to let Allie stay in daycare than I thought it would be….I…I didn't want to leave her."

Booth glanced down for a second and smiled looking up at her. "I told you that you would be an excellent mom."

"No, you said really great."

"Same thing."

"No, excellent is the highes-"

"You're excellent Bones the best." Booth chuckled.

"You don't know that you haven't met every mother."

"I don't need too. I know these things remember."

Brennan smiled, "Booth."

"What?"

"You are crazy." She smiled laughing at him. "Despite that I find I still love you very much and…I want you to come home. It's lonely in the house all by myself I realize I have Allie, but she doesn't even talk. I need another adult my age, I need you."

_Chorus:__  
>And I sleep alone<br>I cry alone  
>And it's so hard livin' here on my own<br>So please, come home soon  
>(Come home soon)<em>

Booth was taken aback by her unBones like admission. He had always thought it to be pregnancy hormones speaking…but now he was unsure.

"I love you too Bones. Hang in there a little bit longer for me, kay?"

She nodded her head yes. "How was your week?"

Booth exhaled, "Eh, let's talk about something else."

Brennan was in a tank top and sweats in bed. "No Booth, tell me. I told you of my week."

"I will tell you Bones, just not now."

"But I want to know." There was so little she got to know anyway, only what he told her.

"When I get home, I just need time."

"Someone died, didn't they?"

Out of all the times she couldn't read people why succeed this time? How? Was it because Allie was making her more observant? He didn't know. He just wanted to go home to her, he missed her. He needed her.

_I know that we're together  
>Even though we're far apart<br>And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck  
>Pressed to my heart<em>

_I wonder, I pray_

Booth was silent a moment, "Yeah, Bones. It was one of the injured guys. He didn't pull through; he had some sort of brain damage. I'm unsure what exactly happened I just know the kid is gone."

Brennan was quiet. What if that kid, whoever he was, was Booth? "Who?"

"Later Bones." Booth said and Brennan seemed to accept this.

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I miss sex as well, but I miss you a lot more. I miss us."

Booth chuckled at her admission. "Yeah, Bones. We all have needs."

"That is a good way to put it so you don't have to say sex. Though, you really should get over being such a prude and you say making love instead." Brennan said and Booth chuckled at her.

"Hey when I'm in the privacy of my own home. I am not a prude. Plus, sex and making love are two different things and we really need a subject change."

"I will give you that, no you are not…at home. I have no direct knowledge of your behavior except your apartment." Brennan smiled touching the screen for a second and then let her hand fall back to her lap.

_[Bridge:]__  
>I still imagine your touch<br>It's beautiful missing something that much  
>But sometimes love needs a fighting chance<br>So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance_

I wonder, I pray

"I have to go Bones, I'll talk to you as soon as I can."

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"Do you ever…nevermind."

He smiled, "What is it?"

"It's nothing I'm fine."

"Bones." He said her name in that tone in which he was calling her out on something.

"What Booth?"

"Tell me. At least some, I told you what happened to an extent."

"Fine, but it's irrational."

"So am I according to you. I'm crazy. I wouldn't worry about what a crazy person thinks." He smiled and Brennan didn't quite get the joke.

"I didn't mean literally Booth otherwise you would not pass your psych evaluations and would no longer work with the F.B.I. Though, you do hate clowns so that-"

"_Bones_, what is it?"

Brennan inhaled thinking of how to go about this. She came to the conclusion there was only one way. "Do you believe in wishes? Agung and Angela said they were real as well as Annie our normal waitress at the diner…do you ever…wish?"

"Wish what?"

"Anything, just have you ever wished? Remember I told you wishes weren't real and I had wished on my fucking star, but nothing had happened?"

Booth nodded, "I remember you were pissed off."

"I was angry yes. Do you believe they can be real?"

Booth smiled, "I make wishes Bones. I think everyone does."

"But you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"If they are real."

"No. I know that we both sleep under the same stars every night no matter how far apart we are. We are still connected in some way, always."

"Yes, the internet is very convenient." Brennan said and Booth chuckled.

"I meant even if we don't have internet, if you don't hear my voice on a certain night. Know that I'm always right beside you."

"That makes no sense Booth. You are in Afghanistan. Not here. I would know if you were in the apartment."

Booth only chuckled and gave up. "Your right, I'm crazy."

"I told you. You make no sense sometimes."

"I do have to go."

"Ok. See you soon."

"Next month, just have to finish out this one. Tell Allie Daddy said hi." Booth smiled and Brennan nodded. Daddy sounded odd, she was mommy and he daddy. It stirred emotion deep inside her, but she didn't cry.

"See you soon Booth."

"Soon Bones." Booth said and Brennan nodded a tight smile.

Brennan laid back in bed and stare at the ceiling. The room felt so empty, so lonely. It was empty, it was lonely. She exhaled and rolled onto her side in the fetal position where she let the tears that had pooled in her eyes finally stream down her cheeks and soak her pillow. She waited to fall into a dream world where all was right and Booth was lying next to her.

_[Second Chorus:]__  
>I sleep alone<br>I cry alone  
>Without you this house is not a home<br>So please, come home soon_

Soon it was Thursday and Brennan and Angela were walking to lunch. Angela was nearly three months along and frequented the diner with Bren. This Thursday was no exception. Brennan had picked Allie up for her lunch break and she was making the trip to the diner as well. "Bren, I can't believe I'm going to look like you in less than seven months."

Brennan looked at Angela, "I don't know what you mean. Are you insinuating I'm fat because I have lost all of the weight from Allie I'm actually slimmer now than I was before I was pregnant."

"No sweetie, I meant lugging all that stuff to the dinner. Allie in her stroller, the diaper bag…it's just-"

"Necessary?" Brennan offered and Angela smiled as they walked into the diner.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"No…" Brennan wheeled the stroller up to a booth and slid into it as Angela sat across from her "…I know I'm right. I have direct knowledge in raising a child. These are things I would rather not do without. I know culturally that there are many women who do not have any of these things, but –"

"It's okay to want it; it makes everyone's life much easier."

"I agree."

A young woman in her early twenties came to take their orders. As the young waitress was leaving Brennan stopped her. "Do you know what happened to this table's usually waitress? The woman's name was Annie.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Annie passed away. Did you know her?"

Brennan was quiet a moment, "No, not well only from the diner. Thank you."

"That's sad." Angela said, but Brennan didn't respond. She looked at Allie instead, resting her hand on her little girl's tummy and chest. Allie smiled one of her big smiles at her mama and Brennan leaned in and kissed her daughter's face. Allie smiled larger and Angela laughed.

"I don't know how you do it Bren."

"I don't know what you mean?"

"How you are so many miles away from Booth and manage to stay so strong."

Brennan smiled and glanced toward the bar and then back to Angela, "I don't count the miles, I count the _I love yous_."

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

"Angela I'm still your best friend. What are you talking about?"

"You don't say stuff like that."

"I realize this someone else told me that was what was important."

"Still…"

"You are almost as crazy as Booth."

"Thanks, it's a two for one special." Angela laughed and Brennan rolled her eyes.

Brennan had to get back in the field; there was still work to be done. She hesitated when she dropped Allie off at the daycare. She still hated to hand her over to someone else. She was adjusting. She kissed her fingers and toes and gave Jan the bottle she didn't finish.

Then she inhaled and walked back down the corridor toward the lab. She held her head up inhaled and exhaled. One day at a time and one step at a time. Soon it would be one whole rotation. She hoped Booth would be proud of her that is all she really wanted. She didn't tell him how he had scared her when she pulled out of him what had happened over there. She knew Booth was on base, but he was still in a war zone. One's imagination could be a dangerous thing. Now more than ever Brennan's imagination was over active; she didn't expect good dreams tonight.

_[Third Chorus:]__  
>I walk alone<br>I try alone  
>I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone<br>So please, come home soon_

_Come home soon_  
><em>Come home soon...<em>

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><p><em>Hang in there just a bit guys ;) Also does anyone know the date of the episode Brennan is supposed to have her baby? Thx and thx for the reviews I know this chap wasn't the best but hey...one step closer. ha Plus, Allie needed to go to daycare and Brennan work.<br>_


	26. I'm Coming Home!

I'm Coming Home Diddy featuring Skyler Grey- Also rewrote the song a bit to fit the story, as I pick the songs after each chapter is finished. You will either like it or you won't. Have at it and I hope you do ;-)_ LISTEN TO THE SONG! YOUTUBE IT JUST please LISTEN AS YOU READ HA…_

* * *

><p><em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<br>Tell the world I'm coming home  
>Let the rain wash away<br>All the pain of yesterday…_

__I know my kingdom awaits  
>And there's no need to speculate<br>I'm coming home, I'm coming homey  
>Tell the world that I'm coming…<em>_

__I'm Coming Home by Diddy featuring Skyler Grey__

* * *

><p>Brennan hadn't spoken with Booth since Monday the sixteenth and it was now Friday the twentieth. She had been receiving messages here and there, but lately his messages were shorter than normal. She missed hearing his voice and she wanted to see his face. Though, she would settle for a message, hopefully. She turned the laptop on only to find no new messages. So she started to write him but didn't get far, stopping in thought her hands came to a rest on the keyboard and she sighed.<p>

_Booth,_

She exhaled looking at the laptop's unfinished letter in front of her. The cursor blinking and his name, were the only thing on the page. She didn't know how much longer she could be strong. She reminded herself of Annie and chided herself for even thinking she had it hard. She inhaled and her fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard once more.

Booth and his platoon were jumping out of their skin. Adams platoon had returned to base a week ago and now Rogers' and Jameson were back. Yesterday Wilson informed everyone they would be going home in less than three weeks. They should be home early February, sometime around the third or fourth. Home. He was going home. _He was going home!_

Brennan was still thinking as her fingers tapped the keyboard when she heard that sound. The one that let her know it was Booth. She clicked on the box.

"Booth!" Brennan smiled, and then she frowned in thought. What if he had been off base? No where was safe, not really. "Booth you haven't spoken to me in a long time. Were you off base? Why didn't you? Is something wrong?" Her mind was still racing since Booth told her someone had died.

"No, no everything is great!" He said a smile on his face so big that it showed teeth.

Brennan looked confused. "Then why didn't you call? You haven't called Parker either, he told me. Booth, Allie is in daycare now. I started work, you know this and you never once facebook messaged me or facetimed me. I have sent you numerous messages." Brennan's voice was strained, she was angry.

"I'm sorry Bones, Strickland died. He was a good kid. Stuff has been a bit hectic around here for the past few days." He watched as she went quiet. She knew someone had died, but he never said it was Strickland.

"I'm sorry." Her mood had shifted and her walls were up, guarding herself from showing the empathy and shock she felt. She was fine.

"But I have something I really want to tell you Bones."

Her voice was low, understanding and soft. Her mind was still on Strickland. "What is it?"

"I'm coming home. We ship home in three weeks, maybe less." He smiled like a little boy and Brennan's expression went blank. She said nothing. She was in momentary shock. Then her eyes welled with tears which she allowed to fall in a rapid pace down her face. Sometimes tears said all there is to say.

"Are you sure?" She asked leaning forward not believing it could be real.

Booth smiled and nodded. "February fourth or sooner I will be home."

"I love you Booth."

"I love you too Bones."

She put her hand up to the screen and Booth did as well. They were both silent. Then Brennan started to laugh through her tears. She was happy. He was coming home. Home to her… to them.

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
>Tell the world I'm coming home<br>Let the rain wash away  
>All the pain of yesterday…<em>

"I have to go. I'll talk to you soon." Booth said and Brennan frowned.

Booth smiled into her eyes, "Hey Bones guess what?"

"Hhmm?"

"I'm coming home." He said softly while he grinned like a little kid.

"Yes you are Booth." Brennan smiled tears rolling down her face. "See you soon."

"Soon." Booth smiled.

_I know my kingdom awaits  
>And there's no need to speculate<br>I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
>Tell the world that I'm coming…<em>

Booth let someone else have the computer and walked off with a little extra bounce in his step. He smiled whispering aloud, "Soon."

Brennan sat in shock in front of the laptop until Allie cried and she walked over and picked her up. "Guess what Al? Your Daddy is coming home." Brennan smiled kissing her daughters forehead.

_I'm back where I belong  
>Yeah I never felt so strong<br>I'm feelin' like there's nothing that I can't try  
>(I'm back, baby)<br>And if you with me put your hands high  
>(Put your hands high)<em>

Night came and Booth couldn't sleep. No one could. It had been a long twelve months. He thought of when he was hit by the IED and didn't remember his Bones, when she was only his dream woman. He thought of Strickland, of the day Bones told him she was carrying his child, of how worried he was for her in Maluku. Then the day he sat down at the computer only to read the message Angela sent him that was Bones was in labor. How he hurried online to watch his Bones give birth to their little girl and how he cried when he had to hang up on Parker and tell him that he would not be home for Christmas. The rotation was a long one, but they were right. A lot could happen in one full rotation.

_If you ever lost a life before, this one's for you  
>(And if you with me put your hands high)<br>And you, and you and you and you  
>(Your dreams are filled, you're rapping with the best)<em>

Hannah walked up to Booth in the large tent. Everyone was eating. "Seeley, how are you?"

"I'm going home." He smiled at her and started to laugh lightly.

"I'm happy for you." Hannah said but Booth didn't hear her, his mind was thousands of miles away.

"I'm going to meet my daughter. Holy Shit! I'm going to meet my daughter!" Booth said just grasping this.

_I hear "All I Want For Christmas Is You", I hate that song  
>I always feel like they talking to me when it comes on<br>Another day another dawn  
>Another Hannah, nice to meet yah, get the math, I'm gone…<em>

It was night in Afghanistan and a group of guys got a hold of some microphones and some acoustic guitars. They were covering Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" Adams was on a mic and was pumping up the crowd. Everyone's arms were in the air, a smile on every face. It was a good day.

"Hey Sarge! Come on, everyone! This one's for Strickland! We're going home boys!" everyone applauded whistled and hollered. Hell they even had some good pizza tonight.

Everyone had that certain someone at home on their mind tonight. Everyone was psyched up. He was headed home, to Bones, Parker and Allie. He was going back to be Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan, back to flavored drinks, and a real bed. No more Sarge, only Booth and Daddy... he had a little girl. Booth smiled.

He thought of Parker and Allie. Two kids, _two_. A boy and a girl. He knew what Bones acted like over skype, but being together in person was always different. How would she respond to him in front of everyone else? Would he really be able to carry out a relationship with her like he always dreamed of doing? Would she push him away? How would Parker react to having to share him with Allie? He was supposed to live with Bones. He reminded himself Rebecca had asked for joint custody, realizing sharing would be a problem. So many what ifs? He dismissed them for now and swayed his hands back and forth with everyone else.

_It's easy to be Booth, but it's harder to be Sarge  
>What if my kids ask why I ain't marry they mom?<br>(Why? Damn)  
>How do I respond?<em>

He thought of Parker's face and smiled. He pictured Allie's from all of the times he skyped Bones. He wondered of the questions Parker was going to ask him when he returned. He didn't want to answer them. He never wanted to talk of the things he had to do in war. Parker was innocent, he didn't need to know. It was night, but everyone was in the main tent with hands in the air enjoying their own mini concert as Adams jumped up and down singing into the mic._  
><em>

_What if my son stares with a face like my own  
>And says he wants to be like me when he's grown<br>Damn, but I ain't finished growin'  
>Another night the inevitable prolongs…<em>

Brennan was in her apartment with Allie in her arms, along with her cell. She had called Angela and was waiting for her friend to pick up her cell.

"Bren." Angela said seeing the caller id. "What's up?"

"Booth, Booth is coming home!"

Angela coughed then started to laugh. "What when?"

"In a few weeks, maybe less."

"Oh My God! Oh, Bren I'm so happy for you. Does Parker know?"

"I'm unsure, I'm sure Booth will tell him."

Angela squealed and Brennan held the receiver away from her ear. Placing it back she spoke, "Angela that was loud enough Allie tried lifting her head up to hear what it was." The two best friends laughed, real serene laughter.

Booth was ecstatic as was everyone. He was going home in less than three weeks. No one would get any sleep tonight. Not in the states and not here. He needed to call Parker. He had all the time in the world on the computer now. They were in a limbo for the next three weeks. It was going to be an anxious and boring three weeks.

First thing tomorrow morning he would call Parker. Parker was at his friend's house. He kept his cell phone close to him just as Bones and his mom did. Although, he had to admit Bones was glued to that phone a lot more than his was to her's. Though, Bones did have face time and his mom only kept her cell twenty four seven for Parker's benefit, and just in case of an emergency. Well, at least that is what Parker guessed.

Everyone was watching a scary movie when Parker's cell rang causing some of the boys to look at him and two to jump. "Parker, turn your cell ph-"

Parker looked at the caller id. "It's my dad!"

"So?" Ronnie said not knowing about Parker's dad. Jake walked up and pressed pause on the movie as Parker answered his cell excitedly.

"Dad!"

"Hey buddy, guess what?"

"I don't know. What?"

"I'm coming home in less than three weeks. Actually, I've been hearing more of two weeks."

"REALLY!"

Booth smiled at his son's excitement. "Yep, really."

Parker turned around and yelled to the group. "My dad is coming home soon! In less than three weeks!"

There were some mumbled 'cool's' and 'awesome' as everyone waited for him to get off the phone so they could start the movie again.

"Dad, does Bones know?"

"Yeah, bub I told her. She is very excited."

"I bet. She misses you lots too." Parker said and Booth smiled. "You will love Al she is a really good baby. She still has big blue eyes like Bones. She is a very curious baby too." Parker smiled on his end of the line.

Roberts walked up behind Booth. "Sarge, Wilson wants to talk to everyone." Booth sighed, he wanted to talk longer. Then again he always wanted to talk longer, everyone did.

"Parks, I have to go I will see you soon."

"Okay Dad, see you soon." Parker was smiling when he hung up.

_Another day, another dawn  
>Just tell Al and Parks I'll be better in the morn'… Another lie I carry on…<br>I need to get back to the place I belong…_

Soon a week had gone by and today as Brennan dropped Allie off at the daycare she had a smile on her face. Jan looked at her curious because she had been wearing the same smile for a whole week. Anyone could tell something was going on. "Dr. Brennan you seem quite happy today."

Brennan smiled as she signed the sign in sheet and time she had dropped Allie off at the daycare. "My partner is coming home in less than two weeks. He has been in Afghanistan for twelve months."

"Oh, how wonderful…I can't imagine. You must be ecstatic." Jan said and Brennan smiled at her before kissing Allie's toes and little fingers and tickling her tummy.

"Yes, I'm very happy."

Brennan walked up onto the platform and Dr. Edison ran into her. He expected the _'watch where you are going Dr. Edison.'_ So he apologized quickly only to have Dr. Brennan say, "It's okay." Then walk on leaving Clark Edison very confused. Hodgins walked up to him seeing the confused expression on his face.

"Angela told me Booth is coming home in less than fourteen days." Hodgins told Dr. Edison.

Dr. Edison tilted his head back in understanding, "Oohh I gotcha.'"

Hodgins smiled at him, "Yeah she will be anxious, but she has been on a high since she heard the news. Hell, sometimes I think Angela is just as excited as her." Hodgins chuckled and Dr. Edison laughed lightly continuing on his original path to Cam's office.

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
>Tell the world I'm coming home<br>Let the rain wash away  
>All the pain of yesterday<em>

Tomorrow everyone was headed to the airport. They would make a few stops along the way, but it didn't change their destination or the excitement amongst the men. Jameson walked up to Booth, "What did Strickland call your girl, an Indonesian princess?" Jameson asked.

Booth laughed, "Yeah."

"So, did she wait?"

"Yeah, yes she did. I have a little girl at home I have never met too."

"Get'em Sarge." Jameson smiled and nudged Booth. Booth laughed, it felt good to laugh and joke around. The air had a type of static electricity that flowed through it.

_I know my kingdom awaits_  
><em>And there's no need to speculate<em>  
><em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<em>  
><em>Tell the world that I'm coming<em>

It was Wednesday night, the twenty fifth and Brennan was bouncing Allie back and forth on her shoulder patting the little girl on her back. She wandered over to the window sill and looked out and up at the stars and smiled as she made a wish. "Al, I wished although the ritual says I'm not supposed to tell anyone my wish or it will not come true. Although, I believe guessing it would be very easy to do seeing as I have only wished for the same thing every time I have ever made one ." Brennan smiled kissing her daughters head.

In Afghanistan the guys were in the town closer to the airport now. Some people were booing and putting them down. Though, some were thankful. The men looked on with worn eyes, eyes that had seen more than people would ever know. Booth glanced at Adams; his dark brown eyes were almost black as they glared at certain people. Someone in the crowd shouted, "Baby killers!"

The men did nothing, said nothing. They rounded a corner and no one spoke of what had happened except for Wilson, "We're going home boys." He reminded his men trying to lighten the mood.

Brennan sat down and turned on the television. As of late she had avoided the news purposely. The press always blew everything out of proportion and only accentuated the bad things. She didn't need to focus on the bad things. She waited and was surprised when the news showed a story of a little girl sitting on Santa's lap. Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas, her Christmas wish. The little blonde around three or four said, "My daddy."

Not a minute later a man in fatigues walked up to Santa and the little girl started to cry, "Daddy? Daddy? I missed you Daddy. I love you Daddy." She had received her wish, her daddy was home. Brennan looked at her sleeping daughter in her arms.

The house was quiet, Allie didn't stir as Brennan spoke, "Your daddy is coming home too Allie." She picked up the remote and after the segment was over she turned it off and carried Allie to her nursery.

_"A house Is Not A Home", I hate this song_  
><em>Is a house really a home when your loved ones is gone?<em>  
><em>And people got the nerve to blame you for it!<em>  
><em>And you know you woulda took the bullet if you saw it…<em>

The guys were dancing around to Keisha in customs. Adams had it on and the beginning of the song was apt for everyone's mood, _"Cause when I'm leaving I ain't coming back…!"_

Rogers hollered, "Sarge when you get home you better give that Indonesian princess some lovin'! Get on it Sarge! She is a princess ya know, well according to Strickland."

Everyone laughed, "Hey now Strickland said he would never touch what was mine."

"You married to her?" Rogers asked.

"She doesn't believe in marriage." Booth said.

Adams spoke up, "Strickland said no ring equals fair game."

Wilson spoke, "Come on, time to board guys. Does everyone have their passports?"

Everyone's mind was on an excitement high and it became evident Strickland's Indonesian Princess Joke was not going away. Everyone's mind was spread out; some of the boys were headed back to base life where they had some sort of significant other waiting.

They would still be working their butt off, but most of the guys were young single and headed back to Ft. Belvoir, Virginia where work would ensue. Though, they would get a couple of months, work didn't stop for anyone. Booth and a few others were headed back to suburban life, but it was Belvoir for everyone else.

_But you felt it and still feel it…  
>And money can't make up for it or conceal it<br>But you deal with it and you keep ballin'  
>Pour out some liquor, play boy, and we keep ballin'<em>

Everyone was a mess of excitement as they boarded. Booth quick facetimed Bones before it was his turn to board. He waited anxious for her to pick up. Brennan was standing next to the Angelator as Angela rotated two bodies so as to calculate the distance one person pushed the other. Brennan looked to her cell and picked it up.

"Bones!" Booth smiled.

A thousand watt smile spread across her face as she spoke to him disregarding the case. "Booth."

"We're getting ready to board the plane and I just wanted to let you know we should be in the states tomorrow. We are landing at Reagan instead of Dulles where we took off from. I will call you when we land."

"Booth wait… tomorrow?" Brennan still couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, I will see you tomorrow. It will probably be late, but-" Brennan started to laugh lightly as Cam, Angela and Dr. Edison looked at her odd.

"Yes…tomorrow…I'll see you tomorrow Booth." Brennan tried to hide her smile, it didn't work.

"Love you baby."

Brennan glanced at her colleagues and then spoke, she didn't care. "I love you as well Booth." Cam looked at Angela and they both shared a smile. They waited on Brennan to come back to this reality to pry.

Wilson was up front and Booth a couple seats behind him. Wilson turned around in his seat, "So how is your princess and the kids?" Wilson asked.

Booth smiled, "Happy, everyone is happy."

"Ya nervous?" Wilson smiled and Booth nodded yes. What if Bones was hesitant? What if she changed her mind, she did that a lot. What if she remained guarded, face to face was a lot different than thousands of miles apart connected by the stars and a computer. What if… there were so many what ifs.

"Yeah, yeah just a little."

"Don't worry nervous and excited sometimes feel the same."

_Baby, we've been living in sin 'cause we've been really in love  
>But we've been living as friends<br>So you've been a guest in your own home  
>It's time to make your house your own, pick up your phone, come on….and guess what?<em>

Angela spoke up, "They have come a long way." Angela smiled.

Cam laughed, "I imagine having a baby together kind of tips the iceberg."

Angela smiled and put her hand over her heart, mockingly. "Sweets must be such a proud little mommy Psychologist."

Brennan hung up her cell and looked at the Angelator, which was paused. Angela spoke to Bren first. "Soooo…? What did Studly say Bren?"

"He is boarding right now and should be home late tomorrow." Brennan said and Angela squealed reminding Brennan of something else. "Oh, Miss Wick came home yesterday as well. The dig proved to be a bust."

Cam looked confused, "Ms. Wick is here in the states?"

"Yes, she messaged me before she left and called this morning. She should be arriving at the Jeffersonian later to say hello. In any manner she said she would call."

"Wait, hang on sweetie. Why didn't anyone else know Daisy was coming back today?" Angela asked.

Brennan looked at her best friend as if she were one of the duller colors in the crayon box. "She didn't tell anyone else Angela."

"Yeah…" Angela clasped her hands together. "…Never mind let's focus on the case at hand."

Cam agreed, "Yes, shall we?"

Brennan smiled walking back into her office she brushed at her eye. Her cheeks were red she could feel them burning. Her throat was tight, she looked up to the ceiling and laughed, happy tears rolled down her face.

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home_  
><em>Tell the world I'm coming home<em>  
><em>Let the rain wash away<em>  
><em>All the pain of yesterday<em>

Light shone through the planes window and Booth woke to someone hollering and then everyone joined in, hands in the air. They were excited. He looked around, and then looked out of his window. They were flying over land! He looked at his watch and laughed looking to Wilson who smiled at him.

Brennan had picked Allie up and everyone was meeting at the Royal Diner for dinner. Angela said it really wasn't a great idea to have a baby in a bar and Brennan agreed. They defaulted to the Diner; it was a better place for Allie than the Founding Fathers. Brennan agreed, only caring that Booth was coming home and today.

_I know my kingdom awaits_  
><em>And there's no need to speculate<em>  
><em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<em>  
><em>Tell the world that I'm coming<em>

The guys were flying toward Reagan. Booth swore you could hear them from thirty thousand miles away, everyone knew they were home. Some of the men's families were there at the airport waiting to greet them. Though, most would meet up with their family back at Ft. Belvoir. They were going home, but first back to base to check in. Then hell ya!

_"Ain't No Stopping Us Now", I love that song_  
><em>Whenever it comes on it makes me feel strong<em>  
><em>I thought I told y'all that we won't stop<em>  
><em>'Til back cruising through Washington, D.C blocks<em>

Booth thought of Bones as his heart beat out of his chest. His pulse was racing. A pulse he knew was controlled by his emotions was going crazy right now. She had his heart, she controlled the pace it beat at. He was going to see his daughter, a baby girl! And Bones! Parker was out of school but it was eight on Monday the third of February. Damn. He knew what he was going to do for Parks and smiled thinking of his son.

Then he thought of her, of love, and of family. Yes, he was coming home. His home was within her, she had kept him going.

_It's what made me, saved me, drove me crazy  
>Drove me away than embraced me, forgave me<br>For all of my shortcomings, welcome to my homecoming  
>Yeah it's been a long time coming….<br>_

It had been one hell of a crazy year. The rotation proved a long one. The IED had left him with a scar on his head that ran along his neck. A lot had happened, hell he had a daughter. It had been a long time coming. A hell of a year, Booth's heart was beating out of chest as the plane screeched on the runway. He had forgotten Bones, they had lost Strickland.

_Lot of fights, lot of scars  
>Lot of boots, lot of cars<br>Lot of ups, lot of downs  
>Made it back, lost my dog...<br>(I miss you kid)  
><em>

Though, he made it home. He just wanted to get back to being himself, no more Sarge. Just a simple man and his…what was Bones? She wasn't his girlfriend. She wasn't his fiancé or wife. He wondered…what would she agree to? Would she marry him? Did he dare ask? Would she at least let him be her boyfriend? He didn't know. He had fathered her child, but this was Bones not any woman. He followed everyone else out of the plane and looked at his cell. He would call her in a minute. He was on American soil. Home.

_And here I stand, a better man  
>(A better man)<br>Thank you Lord  
>(Thank you Lord)<em>

Brennan, Allie, Cam, Angela, Hodgins, Sweets and Daisy were eating and laughing as they ate dinner at the Diner. Daisy was happy to be home and even happier that Sweets was happy to see her. She was the one who had showed Dr. Brennan the name Allie, she was also the one who found out she was pregnant. "Dr. Brennan, Allie is the cutest baby I have ever seen. I think Allie suits her well. Oh My God I'm so happy you named her that!" Daisy squealed as she held Allie and Allie's eyes grew large looking at Daisy.

Angela and Brennan exchanged glances and Angela mumbled something to Hodgins under her breath. Brennan's cell rang and she smiled at who it was. "Booth!"

"Bones?"

"Guess what?"

"I don't know Booth."

"We landed. Meet me at-"

"I'm on my way."

"See you soon Bones."

"I'll see you soon. Do you want any coffee?"

"No, not now, just hurry."

"See you soon." Brennan smiled hanging up.

Angela and the gang watched as Brennan took Allie out of Daisy's arms and put her little jacket on. She quickly put Allie in her carrier.

Angela looked up, "What's going on Sweetie?"

Brennan tried not to shed tears, but it was so hard. She managed to hold them back and laughed her throat tight and her face red. Everyone saw the glossy build up in her eyes. "I'm meeting Booth at the coffee cart…he…" she swallowed. "…he's home." She chuckled laughing lightly. Angela and Daisy's screams of joy sounded the same and Hodgins and Cam shared a look.

Brennan left the diner in a rush, Allie in her carrier. Her pulse raced faster the closer she got to the reflecting pool. Would he be there before her? Would she be there before him? Oh, God she was going to be able to see him, to feel him. That is if her heart didn't pound out of her chest first.

As she drove she glanced at Allie in her rear view, she was quiet looking out the window with her big baby blues full of wide eyed wonder. Brennan's eyes were glossy and she tried her damnedest to hold back the flood that wanted to spill over with tears-of happiness. She started to talk in her sing song voice to her daughter.

"We're going to meet your daddy Al. The man on the computer screen, you talked to him Christmas morning for a while as I slept. Christmas at Auntie Angela's…" Brennan continued to ramble to Allie as she drove closer to him. To what was going to make her house a home.

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
>Tell the world I'm coming home<br>Let the rain wash away  
>All the pain of yesterday<em>

Booth was in the cab, his bag next to him. "Where too?" asked the cabbie.

"Washington Monument." He smiled as he watched the D.C streets pass him by and heard the tires spin against the pavement as he grew closer and closer to where he belonged, back to her. He was home._  
><em>

_I know my kingdom awaits  
>And there's no need to speculate<br>I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
>Tell the world that I'm coming!<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Finito!<strong>

Though, I do have two Epilogue chapters...and yes one is the reunion..._ ;) Thanks for hanging in there with me if you made it this far I hope you enjoyed ;)  
><em>

_ These are lines that I changed in the song, the captions are the actual lyrics : And there's no need to speculate (and they've forgiven my mistakes) I hear "All I Want For Christmas Is You", I hate that song (I hear, "The Tears of A Clown") Another Hannah (Keisha), nice to meet ya, get the math, I'm gone… It's easy to be Booth, but it's harder to be Sarge (It's easy to be Puff, but it's harder to be Sean)  
>What if my kids (the twins) ask why I ain't marry they mom? Just tell Al and Parks (Keisha and Teresa) I'll be better in the morn' 'Til back cruising through Washington, D.C blocks (Harlem, Viso blocks) …I miss you kid (I miss you Big) Lot of boots, lot of cars (Lot of bottles, lot of cars)…<em>So my bf and his platoon were dancing around to Keisha in customs last year haha so I had to add it..._  
><em>


	27. Epilogue 1 A Thosaund Years

_Heart beats fast  
>Colors and promises<br>How to be brave  
>How can I love when I'm afraid to fall<br>But watching you stand alone  
>All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow<em>

_One step closer…_

__I have died everyday waiting for you  
>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you<br>For a thousand years  
>I'll love you for a thousand more….<em>_

_And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me<br>I have loved you for a thousand years  
>I'll love you for a thousand more<em>

_One step closer  
>One step closer<em>….

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

I hope it lives up to your satisfaction, so here ya go :) I did borrow a line 'you were my constant my touchstone' from an x/f episode. Also, I'm unsure about a second Epilogue...hope you enjoy.

It was around seven thirty and the sky was covered by a black velvet canopy littered with stars. The light of the full moon bounced off the reflecting pool putting off more light than the man made ones that lit the monument up.

Brennan stood next to the bench by the coffee cart with Allie in her arms, and waited. She scanned the area for Booth but didn't see him. She sighed debating if she should sit down, no, no she couldn't she needed to see him. Where was he damn it? All she wanted this year was to see him, she didn't need or want anything else and the fact he was coming home, it felt surreal. She had never been happier to have had the earth rotate fully around the sun.

She had become tired of waiting, she saw his smile, his eyes and imagined much more. One year of constantly thinking of one person. It was frustrating, especially when you knew that person was beautiful not only on the outside but on the inside as well. The in-symmetry is always pleasing to the eye, but knowing someone-being inside their mind and letting them be inside yours. Having an emotional connection with them, hell they had a child together. Let's just say she was ready to see him _right now_.

Booth paid the cab driver and grabbed his bag. His eyes dart around for the familiar figure, his Indonesian Princess. Stopping and inhaling ever the slightest when he saw her standing alone looking around for him. He saw Allie in her stroller next to the bench. She hadn't seen him yet; he was still in his fatigues and inhaled starting to walk toward her. His chest felt tighter then when he heard the roar of the plane touching down. Then she saw him, their eyes locked and she stood staring at him. Before he knew what was happening he had moved, and she was in his arms. Everything faded away as they met in the center.

"Booth!" He was really here. He was physically here.

"Bones!"

_Heart beats fast  
>Colors and promises<br>How to be brave  
>How can I love when I'm afraid to fall<br>But watching you stand alone  
>All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow<em>

_One step closer…_

Allie was still in her stroller next to the bench. She looked up at her mommy with big eyes. Booth's hands took hold of her face as their lips met and he ran his hands through her long hair. Her hands melted into him as though they had been waiting forever to touch him, and her body collapsed against his chest. She could feel his heart beat through his fatigues. Her heart was on fire pounding through her chest syncing with his as they melted into one. _She was home. He was home_.

"I'm here, Bones… I'm here…" Booth comforted her, holding her as close as he could to him. He was holding her again. They had finally returned to each others embrace. They parted and glossy blue eyes looked back into his misty eyes. His hand cupped her face and she raised her hand up and placed it over his, slowly it fell from her face.

As, they stare into each others eyes any doubts of Bones retreating back into herself were completely gone replaced by excitement. He felt her lips on his and all of his doubts fell away, she was emotionally still here. She ran her hands through the short hair at the base of his neck pulling him closer as her other hand caressed his face. She felt the scar on the base of his neck and kissed him harder as they wept together.

The kiss that started soft and sensual soon turned into a need- a battle of dominance and passion-I need you now. You're home, you're really here. Parting, she collapses into him, his chest a safe warm haven as he engulfed her in an embrace, holding her body as close as he could to his. The center had held. There was no need for Booth to fear or doubt Brennan. It was evident if not obvious she'd loved him for a hell of a lot longer than this past year.

Booth kissed her forehead slipped his hand into hers taking hold and mumbled, "I love you Bones."

She didn't wipe her tears away, letting them fall she smiled shyly. "I love you too Booth."

Allie stared up at her mom and dad with large deep blue eyes ebbed with curiosity and wide eyed wonder.

_[Chorus:]__  
>I have died everyday waiting for you<br>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
>For a thousand years<br>I'll love you for a thousand more…._

Brennan slipped her hand out of Booth's and turned toward Allie. Booth watched with a smile as Brennan picked her up and locked eyes with Booth. "Allie this is your daddy. Booth this is Allie." she stepped toward him with his daughter in her arms, she had Bone's eyes. She was perfect, precious and everything he could never have imagined unless he saw her in person.

Booth inhaled as Brennan placed Allie in his arms. "Bones she's beautiful." Booth looked down to Allie and back up to Brennan with a smile. Brennan released a puff of laughter while finally watching Allie in Booth's arms. She swallowed and brushed some tears from her face as she watched daddy and daughter, together.

Booth smiled as he looked down at Allie, her huge eyes studied him. She recognized his voice it was familiar. She didn't fuss to get away from Booth, but was enamored with him. Her eyes wandered his fatigues catching the digital pattern. Then they settled on his face searching his eyes. Brennan smiled more tears falling as she watched Allie look at Booth curiously.

"Hi Allie, hi baby girl. I'm your daddy. I watched when you were born, when your Auntie Angela cut the cord. We spoke Christmas morning, remember? We agreed mommy was crazy." Booth smiled and looked at Bones standing in front of him. Her eyes were glossy and her cheeks tear stained red. He flashed her one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen. She chuckled lightly returning it because she had no words for the moment.

_Time stands still  
>Beauty in all she is<br>I will be brave  
>I will not let anything take away<br>What's standing in front of me  
>Every breath<br>Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer…_

Booth shifted Allie in his arms and Brennan stood directly in front of him holding her hand out she touched his arm and tilted her head as her lips met his again and again. Allie was quiet nestled in between her mommy and daddy.

"Don't ever leave me again Booth." Brennan mumbled as they parted.

Booth smiled and kissed her forehead, "Never again Bones."

"Promise?"

Booth smiled at her, her hand was rubbing his arm embracing him. She had changed, she didn't know it but she changed, weather she knew it or not. She hadn't changed as a person, God no. Though, she had transformed. The woman that stood in front of him was the modified version of the Bones he said see you later too, these Bones were both stronger and more malleable at the same time. She had lost the last of her imperviousness. She stood in front of him emotionally naked, bearing her heart and soul. He was back in her arms where he belonged, with them.

How could he ever have doubted her? Doubted she would pull away from him when he returned. She only showered him with more love than he had ever expected to return too.

"I promise."

"But how do I know? You can't make a promise you can't keep. You don't know-"

"Shhh…" Booth put a finger on her lips to silence her.

"What?"

"Look up."

Brennan tilted her head back and stared at the velvet canopy littered with tiny headlights. She looked at Booth, her voice a whisper, "It's a full moon."

"It is Bones, what are the odds?" Booth laughed.

"Statistically speaking there are three hundred sixty five days in a _year _and twenty eight days _per _lunar cycle. This leaves us with thirteen full moons in a year. Therefore, the odds you would come home on a full moon would be one in thirteen." Brennan said and Booth laughed lightly.

"I love you." Booth smiled.

"I love you too Booth."

Allie smiled as Booth tickled her stomach. Brennan smiled at them, loving watching him with her. She locked eyes with him and sat down on the bench where he followed sitting beside her. Allie giggled again as Booth sat down with Allie next to his Bones, they both were watching Allie. Bones was smiling as she watched Allie's eyes grow larger at the silly faces Booth made at her.

_[Chorus:]__  
>I have died everyday waiting for you<br>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
>For a thousand years<br>I'll love you for a thousand more_

Brennan rests her head on Booth's shoulder and exhaled, he was really home. She swallowed; her throat was tight on the verge of tears. Booth leaned over and kissed her forehead whispering, "Because Bones a promise is a promise and I just know. It's like wishing on the brightest star, you have to take that leap of faith, close your eyes and do it. I promise I won't ever leave you guys again. I love you Bones and I love Allie. My home is wherever you two are."

Brennan smiled listening as Booth went on, "…Through everything you were my constant, my touchstone."

"And you are mine." Brennan smiled her lips meeting his. Allie watched this man who was somewhat familiar kiss her mommy. She smiled again, the moon reflecting in her dark indigo eyes. This man called daddy, well she had a feeling he really did belong to her and mommy. Mommy couldn't take her hands off of him and it seemed she trusted him with her whole heart. She had never seen her mommy smile so much before. It made her smile too.

_And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me<br>I have loved you for a thousand years  
>I'll love you for a thousand more<em>

_One step closer  
>One step closer<em>….

"Booth, while I don't believe in fate. I have always believed in you." She smiled half heartedly shrugging her shoulders. "I think I told you that already."

"I know you have Bones." Booth smiled, "From day one, I knew."

"I'm very glad I came to your apartment that night before you left."

"Me too Bones." Booth said looking at Allie sucking away on her red pacifier.

"That night outside Sweets office, when you asked… I…I was just…" Instead of looking up into his eyes Brennan laid her head on his shoulder, closer, she needed to pull comfort from him. "...Scared, I was scared of change…and of mostly of love."

"I know, its okay Bones. I know how you feel now, and I love you too." Booth reassured tucking a stray hair behind her ear as he kissed her temple he smiled as he glanced down at her. Her hair had gotten so long. She left her head on his shoulder, nestling it comfortably on him, just enjoying his touch.

"Yes Booth, but you've showed me how not to be afraid. I learned allowing yourself to love someone with your whole heart is painful Booth. Though, I have found it is worth it to let myself fall."

"Oh?" Booth smiled.

"Yes, because I also found you will be there to catch me before the wings of my dreams can even begin to spread." Brennan picked her head up off of his shoulder and look into his eyes as they bore into hers.

Booth wondered where the unBones like speech had come from. "I realize dreams do not have wings, Booth. Though, I made a promise to myself when I was fifteen to never let myself love or believe something as foolish as love could exist. It was mere chemicals reacting." Brennan exhaled and Booth squeezed her hand.

"But I broke my promise, because we both forgot something that night."

Booth gave her a questioning look as he raised an eyebrow. "What would that be Bones?"

"We forgot that change is inevitable. My fear of loving you and letting you in is what kept me away, but my fear of _losing you_ was greater. It's why I came to your apartment later that night." Brennan's large eyes penetrated his as he squeezed her hand again and shook his head no.

"No, no Bones, that's not why." He said as her brows knitted together in question. "Bones, you came over that night to say see you later, because you love me and I you. Despite all logical arguments, hard facts and rational love exists and Allie is proof Bones. Proof that love has no logic, scientists can fall in love. Love judges no one and no one is immune to it."

"Your right Booth and I realize this now. Though, that night while I may have not fully comprehended the emotions I felt, I do now. Also, I must admit breaking the law of physics was very enjoyable."

Booth chuckled, "Indeed it was and it still can be Bones."

"I would very much like to break the law of physics some more Booth." She smiled at him and he kissed her forehead, then moved on to her lips. Allie let out a little whimper as her pacifier fell out of her mouth. Booth smiled when he noticed Bones' arm snake across him toward Allie, her fingers searched for the pacifier on Allie's chest and she picked it up and stuck it back in Al's mouth never breaking their kiss.

_[Chorus:]__  
>I have died everyday waiting for you<br>Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
>For a thousand years<br>I'll love you for a thousand more…_

The man that ran the coffee cart stand looked toward the soldier, who now sat reunited with his family on the bench. He smiled for him, for all of them. Allie whimpered and Bones held her hands out toward her little girl who Booth handed over to her mommy.

Booth and Brennan were quiet a moment on the bench. The night air was cool and the glow of the full moon illuminated their features as it shown down on them. Its reflection shown brightly in the reflecting pool, the site was fitting.

"So, did your wish come true Bones?" his voice was a quiet husky whisper.

Immense dark blue ocean eyes crashed into multicolored canyon eyes filling them to the rim with hope, love, and trust. Before he knew it her lips were on his, their tongues did not battle for dominance. Instead the kiss was slow and steady with a perfect cadence. They didn't part as they tasted the salty tears which ran onto their lips. When they did part Brennan smiled and stood Allie in her arms, "Let's go home Booth." Brennan said looking down at him in the moonlight.

"Home." He repeated with a smile. She smiled and nodded yes, because now her house_ would_ actually be a home.

_And all along I believed I would find you  
>Time has brought your heart to me…<br>I have loved you for a thousand years  
>I'll love you for a thousand more<em> …


	28. Epilogue 2 Paperweight

_Been up all night staring at you  
>Wondering what's on your mind<br>I've been this way with so many before  
>But this feels like the first time<br>You want the sunrise to go back to bed  
>And I want to make you laugh<em>

Mess up my bed with me  
>Kick off the covers I'm waiting<br>Every word you say I think  
>I should write down<br>Don't want to forget come daylight

_Happy to lay here_  
><em>Just happy to be here<em>  
><em>I'm happy to know you<em>  
><em>Play me a song<em>  
><em>Your newest one<em>  
><em>Please, leave your taste on my tongue<em>  
><em>Paperweight on my back<em>  
><em>Cover me like a blanket<em>

And no need to worry  
>That's wasting time<br>And no need to wonder  
>What's been on my mind…<br>It's you  
>It's you<br>It's you…

_I give up  
>I let you win<br>You win 'cause I'm not counting…  
>You made it back<em>  
><em>To sleep again<br>Wonder what you're dreaming_

Paperweight by Amanda Seyfreid and Josh Radin (cute little song)

_Hope you enjoy, here's one last epilogue ;) Thank you daffodil101 for encouraging me to finish this story I hope it's been as enjoyable a ride for you guys as it has me. Oh and when is the date of the episode Bones is going to have her baby on the show? Is it a two hour special? I have no clue so feel free to fill me in. Well hope you guys like this. NOW HURRY HOME YOU! -me MAKE LOVE LOUDLY, MAKE WAR SILENTLY! :)  
><em>

* * *

><p>Booth, Bones and Allie moved into their new house last week and last night it was just the three of them. Parker would come over next weekend. Allie was crawling around like a mad woman, Booth likened her to a runaway train and Bones only rolled her eyes at the analogy.<p>

Though, that was last night. Now it was four forty seven in the morning and Bones and Booth were in bed. They had, had quite a work out last night and now Booth was asleep. Brennan was curled up into his chest. She drew lazy circles on his arm and traced his fingers in a methodical manner. She was happy just to be.

Her eyes were open yet she kept silent as she watched him breathe. Since he had returned she caught herself watching him sleep a lot. It had become a habit and she didn't plan on breaking it. She would often wonder what he was dreaming, what was on his mind?

Though, right now she brushed her fingers lightly over his forehead and pulled her hand back smirking when he absentmindedly batted at her hand in his sleep. Her lips turned up into a smile and she whispered. "I love you."

Then she snuggled back onto his chest and watched as his steady breathing lifted her up and down, up and down. His lips twitched every now and then as did his eye lashes. As she smiled she heard a low rumble, "Bones, is Al still asleep?"

She only looked into his eyes and nodded yes. She lay back on the pillow and he rolled over holding himself above her for a second. He studied her face, her lips. Her eyes were a deep indigo, and they looked like their daughters. That starry haze of deep emotion, it filled her irises that looked up into his. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, she smiled into his mouth returning the deep kiss filled with a perfected cadence. "I don't want to get up." Brennan said as the inevitable morning starting to filter into their room.

Booth kissed her forehead and then her flat stomach making silly noises like he did to Allie's stomach, he called them raspberries. Brennan called him crazy. Then again, he called her the same. Though, it tickled her stomach and she started to laugh. Booth loved that sound and it made warmth flood his world. God he loved her.

_Been up all night staring at you  
>Wondering what's on your mind<br>I've been this way with so many before  
>But this feels like the first time<br>You want the sunrise to go back to bed  
>And I want to make you laugh<em>

Brennan was laughing her head tossed back as Booth kissed her stomach and blew wet raspberries on it. "Stop! Booth you're crazy!" Brennan begged in between laughing and fending him off. Booth looked up at her with a devilish grin.

"Bones…" he trailed off her name a whisper on his lips. She looked down at him her irises changing from dark blue to light to indigo littered with specks of turquoise. She tilted her head to the side answering him without words. He leaned up toward her and kissed her shoulder and then started to trail kisses down her clavicle. Smiling she kissed his shoulder and then his neck as she murmured her delights back into his warm skin.

"Booth…"

"Hhhmm?" he asked as he kissed her chest and made his way up her neck.

"I love you." She stammered out in between kisses.

He grabbed her head in his hands and kissed her only pulling apart for a breather, he exhaled, "I know." His hands ran up the back of her neck and through her hair grabbing at it and fisting it in his hands. She arched her back and kissed him harder. Exhaling she spoke, but he couldn't make out anything but his last name as two loves melted together. A room so silent and ever still, but the bed a tornado of emotion as two became one on a different morning, again, under a different sunrise.

Mess up my bed with me  
>Kick off the covers I'm waiting<br>Every word you say I think  
>I should write down<br>Don't want to forget come daylight

Brennan lay bare-chested on top of Booth's own bare chest. Her arms were folded and her head was lying on his chest, she could hear his heart. She picked up her head and looked up at him. She smiled at his sleepy face and messy hair. She took her bottom lip in her mouth. Booth looked at her his hands behind his head now her atop him looking down into his eyes. Mommy Bones, he smiled. Brennan leaned up and kissed him slowly as her finger tips traced his shoulders. He ran his hands tenderly through her hair. She turned her head sideways and smiled at him placing a quick kiss on the side of his lips.

"Booth, I'm not jealous anymore." Brennan smiled and Booth looked confused.

"What are you talking about Bones?" he asked as she nestled her head back onto her folded arms and looked at him as she spoke.

She inhaled and exhaled her chest rising and falling as he lay underneath her, enamored by the depths of the indigo eyes that stared into his chocolate ones. "I use to be jealous of you, Angela, Cam and even Daisy and Sweets. I'm not anymore." She smiled brightly.

"Why is that?"

"I believe in love now. I believe in transcendent and eternal."

Booth looked surprised, "Do you?"

Her brows furrowed, "I learned that loving someone is hard to do, but it's worth it. It hurts worse than anything I have ever felt, love hurts. I let you in right before you left and it was painful, probably the most pain I have ever felt. I let my guard down and gave in to all I never believed in…It wasn't easy, yet I did it. As you say, I took a leap of faith. Though, I think I just needed to feel you as close to me as I could that night. So yes I do."

"I knew you would come around." Booth joked placing a kiss on her forehead, nose and then lips.

"Booth, do you think…" Brennan stopped herself from speaking any further.

"What? What is it Bones?" Booth asked as he watched her think about something.

"Nothing…nevermind."

"Tell me." Booth cocked his head sideways in wonder and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He watched as her mind struggled back and forth with a final decision.

She exhaled, "Do you think…." She trailed off again; Booth noted that she looked nostalgic. He was squinting as he tried to read what was about to come out of her mouth. "Do you think...that, that maybe…we will be together… that we will love each other, eternally?" Brennan asked her eyes were almost confused. Booth only smiled.

_Happy to lay here  
>Just happy to be here<br>I'm happy to know you  
>Play me a song<br>Your newest one  
>Please, leave your taste on my tongue<br>Paperweight on my back  
>Cover me like a blanket<em>

"I have no doubts Bones. No doubts." He said smiling at her. She smiled back leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips.

"You are always so sure of everything Booth."

"Nah, that's not true. But I'm sure about this…" he nodded back and forth from him to her. "…us. I'm sure about that."

"How?"

"It's a special agent thing Bones."

"Really? I'm unsure about that Booth." She said and he chuckled.

"No not really baby."

Mess up my bed with me  
>Kick off the covers i'm waiting<br>Every word you say I think  
>I should write down<br>Don't want to forget come daylight

"Booth?"

"Hhmm?"

"I'm glad you're home and not in Afghanistan anymore. I like seeing you not just in my dreams….and so does Allie." Brennan said smiling.

"I'm glad I'm home too Bones, very glad." She smiled laying her head on his chest nuzzling him.

And no need to worry  
>That's wasting time<br>And no need to wonder  
>What's been on my mind<br>It's you  
>It's you<br>It's you

Booth smoothed her hair back and brushed his hands through it while she lay content as a purring kitten on his chest. They were just enjoying them, enjoying being. Neither wanted to speak for the stillness of the room was too grand, their bodies tangled in each other too much of a painting. The moment was precious and Allie could wake any minute.

Every word you say I think  
>I should write down<br>Don't want to forget come daylight

Brennan's voice was a whisper, "Although, in retrospect it was quite simple to let you in Booth. Probably because, I did it years ago…" She lifted her head to look at him. "…I just never allowed myself to acknowledge it. I love you Booth and I love Allie...you won my love or heart. I'm unsure on how the saying goes. Although, I did have a wise woman, Annie our regular waitress at the Royal Diner, tell me another saying that I found appropriate for the situation we found ourselves in. Did I tell you Annie passed away?"

"Yeah, the first day we went back to the dinner. What did she tell you?"

"Not to count the miles, count the 'I love yous.'"

Booth smiled, leaned up and kissed Brennan's forehead, nose and then lips. Parting he said, "She was a wise woman."

"She was. She is another reason why I wanted to name Al, Allie. It sounded like Annie and Annie helped me through some things while you were away and while I was pregnant. When she was younger she had two sons while her husband was in Vietnam." Brennan smiled in thought. "Parker was very upset one day and she helped him. He couldn't believe there were no cell phones when she was our age."

Booth and she were quiet a moment until they heard some cries coming from the other room. Brennan inhaled, kicked off the covers and rolled off of Booth. Grabbing her robe she went to get Allie. It was go time… baby girl was up. She brought her back into their bed and handed her to Booth. He proceeded to sit her on his chest and make her fall into hysterics with his silly daddy voices and kisses. Bones only shook her head at him.

Brennan looked at Booth with Al and smiled a bright smile. She was happy, she loved and was loved. Angela once said you aren't really someone until you give your heart away and make somebody else someone too. Brennan had done it, and done it tenfold. Smiling she laid her head in the crook of Booth's shoulder as he lifted Al up in the air and back down her eyes followed their little girl. Today was not a good day, no, today was a great day.

_I give up  
>I let you win<br>You win 'cause I'm not counting  
>You made it back<br>To sleep again  
>Wonder what you're dreaming…<em>


	29. Have a Happy Fourth of July N 1morething

I sent out care packages to people overseas today. It feels so good and they love it so much, you guys can do the same if you want it's simple things they like. Things like baby wipes, cookies (no chocolate chip or anything with filling it will melt on the plane ride), flavored propel x, Gatorade or fruit punch drink mixes, hard candy, gum, goldfish, beef jerky or raisin packets. It really depends on the platoon you are sending it too. As far as needs go...but everyone loves cookies ;-) just check the site out below thx! Heck one or two things would do oh lighters as well. Have a Happy Fourth of July everyone!

www. wiki / how . com make /Make-a-Military-Care-Package all together - the computer is just being temperamental. Toward the end of this site you will find another site directing you where to get APO's (addresses etc. - it's not as complicated as they make it out to sound and you don't have to use the American support your troops boxes - the other priority are cheaper).

Thx! PM me with any questions. _Come on guys - do it!_

If you are sending to avn (aviation) then they don't need batteries, but other infantry might like a pack or two. They bring games but the games are useless without batteries. It's a lot of hurry up and wait hence the games. You can look up people to send it to on all kinds of websites. I will find one for you guys and then spend ten bucks on them - it will make some people's week.

Have a Happy Fourth of July! Enjoy those fireworks! :)

Meg

**There's only two people who's ever died for me,**

**Laid down their lives just so I could be free,**

**They both went through hell bared crosses and shells,**

**And both got back up again after they fell.**

**They never pick a fight, but they're there to pick up the pieces,**

**...God only knows where we'd be without soldiers and Jesus. **

_Never forgot those who died, and those who killed them. RIP Buddy._

**"Make love loudly and make war silently."**

** "We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them... as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to 'touch the face of God.'" -Ronald Reagan**

**"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same..."** **To all currently overseas, be safe, stay low, and have a great 4th! God Bless America!**

**"So, the US Supreme Court has ruled that you have the right to protest military funerals. I invite you to start your protest in my front yard and we can see if your First Amendment is better than my Second Amendment." a friend of mine**

**Semper Fidelis!**


End file.
